Laura Bush

I have an unschooling problem I'd like some input on. First, a little intro:
we've been homeschooling for 4 years; 3 kids, ages 10, 6, and 2. The first
book I read about homeschooling was John Holt's Teach Your Own, followed by
the Colfaxes' Homeschooling for Excellence. I have since read most of the
standard recommended books for folks interested in unschooling, and agree
with most of what unschoolers say about how people learn.

We never used a curriculum, per se, though I dabbled in unit studies. During
one of those dabbling times, I was reading to my daughter about the layers
of the earth, and I could see her eyes glaze over. I put the book down and
vowed right then never to waste her time or my time trying to "teach"
something she wasn't interested in. Mostly I've kept to that vow, though I
have on occasion begged her to do some written math.

I believe in unschooling; I see no point in trying to force-feed an
education. So, what's my problem? Here it is: I confess to a love for
curriculum. I would love to order a literature based curriculum for us all
to do. I love the idea of all those books showing up on the doorstep,
complete with a schedule for when to read what. I love to seek out books on
my own as well, and plan "units" on periods of history, collecting resources
from a variety of catalogs. The kids enjoy these immersions in times--the
books I choose are good, and I quickly drop the duds. I am alert to fading
interest and don't push. But I harbor a secret envy of folks who order these
terrific curricula (not textbook curricula! it's Sonlight I lust after..)
and carry out the plans in their teacher's manuals.

I've been thinking in recent weeks about why this is, and how to get it all
out of my system without screwing up our home learning. I know folks (my dh
is one) who say, So get a curriculum for yourself and do it! But I know
that's not the ticket for me. I think it has to do with harking back to my
childhood, where September brought the smell of new books and book covers,
crisp notebooks, and, later on, syllabi promising a semester of learning
bliss. I loved school, and I want to do it all over with my kids. I can see
the damage school did to me (I was the A student who desperately feared to
fail, who learned for the test and then forgot, who excelled in pleasing
diverse teachers to the detriment of my actual education). But still, I
loved school.

Am I the only unschooler who secretly drools over the Sonlight catalog? And
how can I loose myself from this bizarre addiction to learning plans?

Any thoughts?

Laura Bush
laura@...
http://www.honeypot-hollow.com

Lyn Goodnight

Laura Bush wrote:

> I think it has to do with harking back to my
> childhood, where September brought the smell of new books and book covers,
> crisp notebooks, and, later on, syllabi promising a semester of learning
> bliss. I loved school, and I want to do it all over with my kids. ...Am I the
> only unschooler who secretly drools over the Sonlight catalog?

You are not alone. I have never seen a Sonlight catalog, but I have plenty of
other education catalogs, and I was just like you in school. I have often said
that if I could get paid to go to college some more instead of having to pay for
it, school would be my life's work. I would have a dozen or more degrees in
everything. To make matters worse for me, my degree is in Education, and I was
taught to teach a certain way.

Unschooling is a huge venture for me, and I'm like you, wondering how to turn
off the natural instinct to do it the way I did it. In my case, my kids have
never loved school the way I did, so that is a huge motivator. And I have done
enough reading on unschooling to know it makes tremendous sense, especially with
kids like mine who are very into the experience of the learning, not the task.
All I can say is, do what I do. Sit down and write out wonderful, detailed
lesson plans for every day of the year, and then abandon them after the first
week when your kids can't stand it and you can see that! (Yes, last year I went
out and bought a teacher's lesson plan book, and had my sons' lessons planned
out for like 6 months in the future. The first time we went to the muesum
instead, the whole thing fell apart!

Good luck, and get yourself some workbooks to play in!

~~Butterflye

Andi Kaufman

>Am I the only unschooler who secretly drools over the Sonlight catalog? And
>how can I loose myself from this bizarre addiction to learning plans?

DOnt know. I do not want any curriculum. but i love books and literature. I
would love to order anybooks sp historical books to read but when i do
isaac doesnt like them. so I have been getting them for me. maybe some day
he will like them.

Andi...domestic goddess and active volunteer
mom to Isaac
tl2b@...

Never Underestimate the Power of This Woman!

Pam Hartley

----------
>From: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 105
>Date: Sun, Jul 4, 1999, 12:37 AM
>

>Am I the only unschooler who secretly drools over the Sonlight catalog? And
>how can I loose myself from this bizarre addiction to learning plans?
>
>Any thoughts?

I'll introduce myself in the next post <g>, but yes, I have some thoughts.

There seem to be two separate issues here: 1) Whether to lust over catalogs
full of books (by all means, lust! <g>) and buy them and 2) Whether to
bludgeon your children over the head with them in force-fed learning once
they arrive <g> (you already know the answer to that one).

You can do this unschoolishly, but there's (in my opinion) a fine line to be
walked. You can put a line item in your family budget and sit down
cheerfully each August and order "books and stuff" with the kids, but if you
limit it to curriculum-style books, it's telling the kids something about
what books you think are "more valuable", so I'd haul out all the book
catalogs and pour over them together. Pick out what looks great (I'd
actually suggest doing this more often than each September, quarterly or
even monthly, the amount of money of course decreasing if you do it more
often, unless you are a lotter winner <g>), buy it. Pay no attention to
whether it is curriculum.

When it arrives, it becomes just so much unschooling fodder, to be used or
not, to be used "properly" (i.e, according to the underactive imagination of
the curriculum designer) or NOT.

I have fantasies about being a steeplechase jockey. <g> I'm 33 years old,
200 lbs, 5'9" tall and don't have the money or land to keep a horse. The
fantasy doesn't hurt anybody, but my bankrupting the household and being
tossed from my steeplechaser at the first fence would hurt everybody,
including me.

I won't tell you to "get over it". I mourn my never-to-have-been
steeplechasing career. I read Dick Francis books and plan to attend some
steeplechases as an observer. So I will say, find a way to get some part of
what you want while abiding by what I'm thinking should really be the
unschooler's creed: "first do no harm."

Good luck!

Pam
pamhartley@...

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/3/99 3:13:02 PM, bushla@... writes:

<<Am I the only unschooler who secretly drools over the Sonlight catalog? And
how can I loose myself from this bizarre addiction to learning plans?
>>

Hey, Laura -

I don't think you are completely strange. There is something seductive
about a literature-based curriculum. I, myself, have tried to collect all of
the story books that go with the Five in a Row curriculum for young kids,
even though I would never make my son do any of the lessons.

I'm also tempted by all of the packages of fun books about ancient
civilizations that one can order from FUNbooks.

I think you are wise to consider that what you may need is a curriculum for
yourself, not for your kids. Would you really like that? A package that
sent you all the Pulitzer prize winning books, fiction and non-fiction, every
year, with additional background study guides, and a time limit for reading
them all? I wouldn't like that, but I'm strongly non-linear and hate to have
someone else make up my mind for me. My kid is the same way. Your kid
mileage may vary.

Betsy

Laura Bush

----- Original Message -----

> From: ECSamHill@...
>
>

> I think you are wise to consider that what you may need is a curriculum
for
> yourself, not for your kids. Would you really like that? A package that
> sent you all the Pulitzer prize winning books, fiction and non-fiction,
every
> year, with additional background study guides, and a time limit for
reading
> them all? I wouldn't like that, but I'm strongly non-linear and hate to
have
> someone else make up my mind for me. My kid is the same way. Your kid
> mileage may vary.

I think part of what prompted my post was realizing that I would not like
such a curriculum for myself, yet I want to inflict it on my kids! I'm
trying to get at the bottom of why this is, when I know perfectly well it
would be way less than ideal for my kids (and I'm not following through on
this desire of mine). I like the planning out of lessons: OK, two weeks to
read Witch of Blackbird Pond, two weeks to read Tituba, a day or two reading
from A History of US on the Salem Witch Trials, then a visit to Salem for
the weekend... That sort of thing. If I want to learn about something, I
don't plan it out like that--why do that kind of planning for my kids? I'm
not attracted to workbooks, assignments, that sort of thing--it's really the
plans, the outlines, being thorough and delving deep into the topic at hand.

I do buy a lot of books; I read most of them, and the kids enjoy many of
them. They come in handy when questions come up, and we read a lot of
fiction aloud and all enjoy it. I don't feel like buying books is such a bad
habit (dh and the groaning bookshelves may disagree here <g>), it's the
wanting to make and follow a master plan for reading them all that I would
like to be free of.

Laura

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/4/99 8:49:13 AM, bushla@... writes:

<<I like the planning out of lessons: OK, two weeks to read Witch of
Blackbird Pond, two weeks to read Tituba, a day or two reading from A History
of US on the Salem Witch Trials, then a visit to Salem for the weekend...
That sort of thing. If I want to learn about something, I don't plan it out
like that--why do that kind of planning for my kids? I'm not attracted to
workbooks, assignments, that sort of thing--it's really the plans, the
outlines, being thorough and delving deep into the topic at hand.>>

I think I understand the appeal of delving deep. What we learned in school
was so shallow, and devoid of context, that it was nearly pointless. There's
a quote that says >>American education is a mile wide and an inch deep.<< I
definitely think that we understand and retain material better when we study
it deeply. But, it just isn't possible to have enough time for a course of
study that is a mile wide and ten feet deep. We can have depth in many
places, but I don't think its humanly possible to have depth everywhere.
Human knowledge at this time is just amazingly vast. So the crucial question
becomes, what areas are going to be your kids areas of deep learning? Who
gets to decide where those are?

One the other hand.... (yep, I am typing w. both hands this morning), I love
historical fiction as an approach to learning history. And _Witch of
Blackbird Pond_ is one of my favorites. Even though I live in Ca. and my son
isn't yet interested in early American History, I have been dreaming about
the tour of New England that I want to take someday.

Betsy

P.S. (Don't forget Arthur Miller's play, _The Crucible_, about the witch
trials. It was recently turned into a movie.)

MOX

>
> I think part of what prompted my post was realizing that I would not like
> such a curriculum for myself, yet I want to inflict it on my kids! I'm
> trying to get at the bottom of why this is, when I know perfectly well it
> would be way less than ideal for my kids (and I'm not following through on
> this desire of mine). I like the planning out of lessons: OK, two weeks to
> read Witch of Blackbird Pond, two weeks to read Tituba, a day or two
reading
> from A History of US on the Salem Witch Trials, then a visit to Salem for
> the weekend... That sort of thing. If I want to learn about something, I
> don't plan it out like that--why do that kind of planning for my kids? I'm
> not attracted to workbooks, assignments, that sort of thing--it's really
the
> plans, the outlines, being thorough and delving deep into the topic at
hand.
>
> I do buy a lot of books; I read most of them, and the kids enjoy many of
> them. They come in handy when questions come up, and we read a lot of
> fiction aloud and all enjoy it. I don't feel like buying books is such a
bad
> habit (dh and the groaning bookshelves may disagree here <g>), it's the
> wanting to make and follow a master plan for reading them all that I would
> like to be free of.
>
> Laura

Laura,
Ok, so you like to have a plan for learning but you don't force your kids to
be apart of it and you wonder why you like having the plan, is that it? You
may just be that kind of person. I do the same type of thing, I have ten
million to-do lists of varying types and schedules and planners. I never
keep to any of them. :) I just like having it written out. It also is part
of my learning/absorption style, what I see or hear has to come through my
hand before I "get" it. Why I'm like this, who knows, it could be from being
raised in a chaotic family and this is my way of finding structure. I'm also
deschooling myself which I'm finding out to be quite a process. It's not
easy to undo 12 years of brainwashing. :) An idea that struck me when
reading another post on this thread was the fascination of new in our
society. New things are better than old things, chop down trees to build a
new house instead of buying an existing home, new clothes instead of going
thrift store shopping, you get the picture. Is a fixation on new things or
even new to you part of the desire for curriculum? After reading "Your Money
or Your Life" I decided I don't need anything else, yes, I have wants but
realizing the time-life energy connection to things helped me to better make
decisions regarding purchases.
Tonia
mox@...
Hammond, OR
"...Until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty
stream." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/DeschoolingAdults

MOX

> I have fantasies about being a steeplechase jockey. <g> I'm 33 years old,
> 200 lbs, 5'9" tall and don't have the money or land to keep a horse. The
> fantasy doesn't hurt anybody, but my bankrupting the household and being
> tossed from my steeplechaser at the first fence would hurt everybody,
> including me.
>
> I won't tell you to "get over it". I mourn my never-to-have-been
> steeplechasing career. I read Dick Francis books and plan to attend some
> steeplechases as an observer. So I will say, find a way to get some part
of
> what you want while abiding by what I'm thinking should really be the
> unschooler's creed: "first do no harm."
> Good luck!
> Pam

Pam,
I had dreams when I was young of being a dancer or musician, I would have
loved just to learn an instrument or some jazz steps. :) It didn't happen
and I too mourned not being able to realize these dreams. I'd watch a ballet
on TV or a music video on MTV and I would get this feeling so powerful ever
since I was young, it was complete joy, I felt lifted. At times it felt
depressing until I saw that I could be at peace knowing that I can have a
special appreciation for dance and music. My gift is in being able to
appreciate and enjoy down deep in my soul the beauty of these arts. And yes,
I also see that it is never too late and I'm currently taking a line dancing
class and learning the recorder with my youngest son, but the change from
feeling like a failure in some way because I was not a dancer or musician to
seeing a gift in me was wonderful.
Tonia
mox@...
Hammond, OR
"...Until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty
stream." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/DeschoolingAdults

The White's

----- Original Message -----
From: Laura Bush <bushla@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, July 04, 1999 9:49 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Addicted to curriculum! (long!)


> From: "Laura Bush" <bushla@...>
>
it's really the
> plans, the outlines, being thorough and delving deep into the topic at
hand.
>
>
> Laura

Hi Laura, if it's really the plans, the outlines, etc that are appealing to
you, try to do them after the fact. You could use your talents & skills at
recording what has been done each day, maybe catagorizing each thing done
into a school-like box. Then one day when the kids are older you can pull
them out to show them what they did....or one day they will come in handy
for college transcripts.

Just a thought how you might channel your needs more creatively, don't
stiffle them...this could be your unschooling project!

Good luck,
Cindy

Laura Bush

Actually, one attempt to channel my desire to categorize, etc., has been my
web site, where I list resources by topic, essentially creating resource
lists for folks who might want to study a particular topic but don't enjoy
the resource hunting as much as I do. Thanks for the reminder that I do have
ways to get this out of my system without abandoning my ideals!

Laura
www.honeypot-hollow.com

----- Original Message -----

> From: "The White's" <jwwjr@...>
>
> Hi Laura, if it's really the plans, the outlines, etc that are appealing
to
> you, try to do them after the fact. You could use your talents & skills
at
> recording what has been done each day, maybe catagorizing each thing done
> into a school-like box. Then one day when the kids are older you can pull
> them out to show them what they did....or one day they will come in handy
> for college transcripts.
>
> Just a thought how you might channel your needs more creatively, don't
> stiffle them...this could be your unschooling project!