THE WIT & WISDOM OF GEORGE W. BUSH
Lynda
And now we have Dubya, PhD from the U of Quayle, who wants to be our
education president.
Lynda
===========
THE WIT & WISDOM OF GEORGE W. BUSH, All Quotes 100% Real:
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
"Laura & I really don't realize how bright our children is."
"I think we can agree. The past is over"
"I have learned from mistakes I may or may not have made."
"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then." [An alky's
Freudian slip for Exhilerating]
"It's clearly the budget. It has a lot of numbers on it."
"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to
California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do
when you run for president. You gotta preserve."
"It's evolutionary, going from governor to president, and this is a
significant step, to be able to vote for yourself on the ballot, and I'll
be able to do so next fall, I hope."
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
"I propose that every city have a telephone number 119 -- for dyslexics who
have an emergency."
"There ought to be limits to freedom." [said in support of his handlers'
legal efforts to shut down parody websites]
"I didn't -- I swear I didn't -- get into politics to feather my nest."
But: "When it is all said and done, I will have made more money than I ever
dreamed I would make."
"The Clinton administration has done practically nothing to protect our
country. They've turned our country into a rodeo clown."
"You know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."
"I understand small business growth. I was one."
"It's not the governor's role to decide who goes to heaven. I believe that
God decides who goes to heaven, not George W. Bush."
" You can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
"If you're sick & tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and
principles, come and join this campaign."
" We ought to make the pie higher."
[during a 2/15/00 speech where he appeared to have had a 3 martini lunch]
"I know how proud I am to be standing up."
"Don't kill me!" [Bush on Larry King Show making light of the then-119 men
executed in Texas under his governorship]
"I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell."
"If the East Timorians decide to revolt, I'm sure I'll have a statement."
"I'm a uniter not a divider. That means when it comes time to sew up your
chest cavity, we use stitches as opposed to opening it up." [said on
Letterman; audience booed]
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mential losses."
"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"
The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your
foreign minister, who came to Texas."
"Reading is the basis for all learning." Then lying big-time: "I read books
all the time." While promoting a Texas state-wide reading initiative, Bush
searched unsuccessfully for an answer to a child's query regarding any book
he may actually have read; Bush finally replied, "uh...uh...Willie Mays."
Due to several similar moments when he could not give evidence of any book
he's ever read, it has become clear that Bush may never have read any book
clear through in his whole life, probably not even his ghost-written
egregiously bad autobiography, so he now claims to have read only the Bible
clear through "once every two years". An "education president" in the
making, right.
"We require that every child read by the third grade." [Texas is
academically on the low end of the scale; & other states do tend to produce
first-grade readers]
education president.
Lynda
===========
THE WIT & WISDOM OF GEORGE W. BUSH, All Quotes 100% Real:
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
"Laura & I really don't realize how bright our children is."
"I think we can agree. The past is over"
"I have learned from mistakes I may or may not have made."
"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then." [An alky's
Freudian slip for Exhilerating]
"It's clearly the budget. It has a lot of numbers on it."
"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to
California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do
when you run for president. You gotta preserve."
"It's evolutionary, going from governor to president, and this is a
significant step, to be able to vote for yourself on the ballot, and I'll
be able to do so next fall, I hope."
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
"I propose that every city have a telephone number 119 -- for dyslexics who
have an emergency."
"There ought to be limits to freedom." [said in support of his handlers'
legal efforts to shut down parody websites]
"I didn't -- I swear I didn't -- get into politics to feather my nest."
But: "When it is all said and done, I will have made more money than I ever
dreamed I would make."
"The Clinton administration has done practically nothing to protect our
country. They've turned our country into a rodeo clown."
"You know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."
"I understand small business growth. I was one."
"It's not the governor's role to decide who goes to heaven. I believe that
God decides who goes to heaven, not George W. Bush."
" You can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
"If you're sick & tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and
principles, come and join this campaign."
" We ought to make the pie higher."
[during a 2/15/00 speech where he appeared to have had a 3 martini lunch]
"I know how proud I am to be standing up."
"Don't kill me!" [Bush on Larry King Show making light of the then-119 men
executed in Texas under his governorship]
"I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell."
"If the East Timorians decide to revolt, I'm sure I'll have a statement."
"I'm a uniter not a divider. That means when it comes time to sew up your
chest cavity, we use stitches as opposed to opening it up." [said on
Letterman; audience booed]
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mential losses."
"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"
The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your
foreign minister, who came to Texas."
"Reading is the basis for all learning." Then lying big-time: "I read books
all the time." While promoting a Texas state-wide reading initiative, Bush
searched unsuccessfully for an answer to a child's query regarding any book
he may actually have read; Bush finally replied, "uh...uh...Willie Mays."
Due to several similar moments when he could not give evidence of any book
he's ever read, it has become clear that Bush may never have read any book
clear through in his whole life, probably not even his ghost-written
egregiously bad autobiography, so he now claims to have read only the Bible
clear through "once every two years". An "education president" in the
making, right.
"We require that every child read by the third grade." [Texas is
academically on the low end of the scale; & other states do tend to produce
first-grade readers]