Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] RE: Food Issues ~ different problem is this a matt...
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/30/2000 6:15:10 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
samiot@... writes:
that you are a good mom, having a difficult time.
None of his behavior sounds at all out of the ordinary for a child of 4. How
to deal with it? I don't have any good answers. When my oldest was this
age, he did similar things. He still remembers taking a canning jar out on
the front porch, holding over the corner of the cement and dropping it with
some force simply to see if it would shatter! He saw it on TV and wanted to
know if it would really break. Of course, at that time he wasn't able to
tell me WHY he'd done such a thing and we laugh about it now. He also
remembers being grounded from TV for that act. His favorite show at the time
was Dukes of Hazard and the season finale was that week. So, DS sat outside
and watched it in the reflection of the window!! This is even more
remarkable since I don't like the show, so he had get it on at the right time
without drawing my attention to the fact.
This is the same son that pushed us to an unschooling lifestyle...he simply
will NOT be put in a box. He pulled out numerous music tapes (pre-VCR days),
colored on the walls over and over again even though we had paper available
and he got in trouble every time! (also pre-washable markers)
Hate to admit it, but we never found a good solution in channeling his
behavior. I did have to learn to disengage and not take it personally or the
kid would NOT have made it to adulthood. The standard line became something
like "How old do you want to be when you die? You're not even gonna make it
to your next birthday at this rate!" (said very tongue in cheek so he
recognized he wasn't in real danger and I could find some humor)
He is still strong willed as an adult and, lucky him, so is his wife and
toddler! LOL What goes around comes around. heheheh And I never even had
to curse him with the wish that he'd someday have a child just like himself.
<beg>
Hopefully someone will have some answers that will help. All I can tell you
is there are many more out there just like him!
Eiraul
samiot@... writes:
> First I'm really a good mom. Yesterday drove me to the brink of "send hemNot much help, but I want to congratulate you on recognizing right up front
> to school quick!
that you are a good mom, having a difficult time.
None of his behavior sounds at all out of the ordinary for a child of 4. How
to deal with it? I don't have any good answers. When my oldest was this
age, he did similar things. He still remembers taking a canning jar out on
the front porch, holding over the corner of the cement and dropping it with
some force simply to see if it would shatter! He saw it on TV and wanted to
know if it would really break. Of course, at that time he wasn't able to
tell me WHY he'd done such a thing and we laugh about it now. He also
remembers being grounded from TV for that act. His favorite show at the time
was Dukes of Hazard and the season finale was that week. So, DS sat outside
and watched it in the reflection of the window!! This is even more
remarkable since I don't like the show, so he had get it on at the right time
without drawing my attention to the fact.
This is the same son that pushed us to an unschooling lifestyle...he simply
will NOT be put in a box. He pulled out numerous music tapes (pre-VCR days),
colored on the walls over and over again even though we had paper available
and he got in trouble every time! (also pre-washable markers)
Hate to admit it, but we never found a good solution in channeling his
behavior. I did have to learn to disengage and not take it personally or the
kid would NOT have made it to adulthood. The standard line became something
like "How old do you want to be when you die? You're not even gonna make it
to your next birthday at this rate!" (said very tongue in cheek so he
recognized he wasn't in real danger and I could find some humor)
He is still strong willed as an adult and, lucky him, so is his wife and
toddler! LOL What goes around comes around. heheheh And I never even had
to curse him with the wish that he'd someday have a child just like himself.
<beg>
Hopefully someone will have some answers that will help. All I can tell you
is there are many more out there just like him!
Eiraul
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/30/2000 8:21:26 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:
health problems coming to light in his early adult years which could explain
his behavior as a child. It's an illness that has flares and remission which
can be brought on by allergies, chemicals, stress, etc. Not saying your son
has some rare or grave disease, but it is a good point and something to look
into.
FWIW,
Eiraul
ecsamhill@... writes:
> All I can suggest is that you keep looking hard for a causal factor. Itmay
> take long-term observation. Some food allergies can really make kids loseThis is a really good idea. The challenging son I just wrote about has some
> control. Otherwise, maybe an extreme sensitivity to texture, light, or
> sound? I think it's helpful to get a notebook and write down details of
> each
> incident. Maybe make a chart that shows how often problems occur and at
> what
> time of day?
health problems coming to light in his early adult years which could explain
his behavior as a child. It's an illness that has flares and remission which
can be brought on by allergies, chemicals, stress, etc. Not saying your son
has some rare or grave disease, but it is a good point and something to look
into.
FWIW,
Eiraul
[email protected]
Susan,
It sounds like he is trying to figure out how things are working....hang in
there....active little souls are trying to see how much control thet have
over their own worlds....
It is hard not to worry over the future, but when my little one (3) stands
right in front of me and spits on the floor (yes, it takes tons of control
not to react-when I am ready to throw her out the window) I try to look for
all the good things that she does like help her brother gently off the chair,
find my water bottle, hands me things nicely....then I really praise her for
the good behavior and try to focus on that...
Julie
It sounds like he is trying to figure out how things are working....hang in
there....active little souls are trying to see how much control thet have
over their own worlds....
It is hard not to worry over the future, but when my little one (3) stands
right in front of me and spits on the floor (yes, it takes tons of control
not to react-when I am ready to throw her out the window) I try to look for
all the good things that she does like help her brother gently off the chair,
find my water bottle, hands me things nicely....then I really praise her for
the good behavior and try to focus on that...
Julie
[email protected]
I love the idea that "he who complains, cooks" how old where your little ones
when you started this?
Julie-loving this idea-
when you started this?
Julie-loving this idea-
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/30/2000 10:47:20 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
Jaam1224@... writes:
Even the 3 yo took his turns. He just got more assistance. It was the
cook's job to plan the menu and prepare the food without leaving a huge mess
behind.
Little did we know at the time that the then 13 yo would marry someone who
can actually burn water! It was a darn good thing he learned to cook before
he got married. LOL
Eiraul
Jaam1224@... writes:
>3 and 13
> I love the idea that "he who complains, cooks" how old where your little
> ones
> when you started this?
>
> Julie-loving this idea-
>
Even the 3 yo took his turns. He just got more assistance. It was the
cook's job to plan the menu and prepare the food without leaving a huge mess
behind.
Little did we know at the time that the then 13 yo would marry someone who
can actually burn water! It was a darn good thing he learned to cook before
he got married. LOL
Eiraul
LisaKK
. The standard line became something
SHOOT.
<eg>LisaKK
>like "How old do you want to be when you die? You're not even gonna makeit
>to your next birthday at this rate!" (said very tongue in cheek so heYou mean you're supposed to let them know you aren't serious???
>recognized he wasn't in real danger and I could find some humor)
>
SHOOT.
<eg>LisaKK
aworthen
----- Original Message -----
From: <braunville@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, August 30, 2000 2:21 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] RE: Food Issues ~ different problem is
this a matt...
> Even the 3 yo took his turns It was the
> cook's job to plan the menu
I'd hate to think of what kind of menu a 3 yo would plan :-)
Amy
Mom to Samantha, Dana, and Casey
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/30/00 6:15:20 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
samiot@... writes:
<< Has anyone else encountered anything like this? anyone survived anything
like this? >>
YES!! At precisely this same age also! I thought I was going to go crazy. He
did
things he was told not to do constantly. I believed that his
will/desire/curiosity/need
was just too strong to explore/try regardless if it pleased his parents or
not. Such a
tough time, I often felt that he just didn't want to be a part of our family,
he just
would not fit in or cooperate at all. He is still pretty strong willed (as
are all my
children LOL). but I tell myself that all of his traits that drive me nuts
are exactly
like his father!!! <---who sometimes drives me nuts too!! but are things
that I
admire in a man, daring, perseverance, inquisitiveness, assertive, goes to the
beat of his own drummer---you get the picture ; ) Just a sampling would be
cutting
things, like a handmade wall covering, my pajama top to name a couple.
Finally
a good friend suggested we get him a cutting box filled with things to cut
up--
different textures old towels/sponges/paper/cardboard etc. That seemed to
work,
but also he was outgrowing this behavior by the time we implemented box. One
thing that has helped me so much are a series of books by the Giselle
Institute,
Your one year old, your two year old and so on. what they talk about is how
children go in and out of equilibrium every six months or so. For my other
two
children I didn't notice it very strongly, but for my middle boy it was sooooo
obvious that other family members noticed the change (that would be when
he "bounced" back "into" equilibrium--his behavior/personality becomes much
more positive) This so far has been most noticeable turning three and
turning
four. So for the first half of the year everything appeared normal, then
late into
the second half of the year I would go, oh wow look at this, he is way out of
of control. He is now 5 1/2, haven't noticed any changes yet....but its
still to
early to tell LOL. Oh and the other part of the books are that they talk
about
age appropriate behavior. I know that when I know behaviors are normal I
can deal with them so much better. Oh and about the pajama top, when he
bounced back into equilibrium months later, he came to me and most sincerely
said, mom I am sorry I cut your top. It was so sweet. I would have thought
he had forgotten it. Anyhow, hope this helps some.
Kathy
samiot@... writes:
<< Has anyone else encountered anything like this? anyone survived anything
like this? >>
YES!! At precisely this same age also! I thought I was going to go crazy. He
did
things he was told not to do constantly. I believed that his
will/desire/curiosity/need
was just too strong to explore/try regardless if it pleased his parents or
not. Such a
tough time, I often felt that he just didn't want to be a part of our family,
he just
would not fit in or cooperate at all. He is still pretty strong willed (as
are all my
children LOL). but I tell myself that all of his traits that drive me nuts
are exactly
like his father!!! <---who sometimes drives me nuts too!! but are things
that I
admire in a man, daring, perseverance, inquisitiveness, assertive, goes to the
beat of his own drummer---you get the picture ; ) Just a sampling would be
cutting
things, like a handmade wall covering, my pajama top to name a couple.
Finally
a good friend suggested we get him a cutting box filled with things to cut
up--
different textures old towels/sponges/paper/cardboard etc. That seemed to
work,
but also he was outgrowing this behavior by the time we implemented box. One
thing that has helped me so much are a series of books by the Giselle
Institute,
Your one year old, your two year old and so on. what they talk about is how
children go in and out of equilibrium every six months or so. For my other
two
children I didn't notice it very strongly, but for my middle boy it was sooooo
obvious that other family members noticed the change (that would be when
he "bounced" back "into" equilibrium--his behavior/personality becomes much
more positive) This so far has been most noticeable turning three and
turning
four. So for the first half of the year everything appeared normal, then
late into
the second half of the year I would go, oh wow look at this, he is way out of
of control. He is now 5 1/2, haven't noticed any changes yet....but its
still to
early to tell LOL. Oh and the other part of the books are that they talk
about
age appropriate behavior. I know that when I know behaviors are normal I
can deal with them so much better. Oh and about the pajama top, when he
bounced back into equilibrium months later, he came to me and most sincerely
said, mom I am sorry I cut your top. It was so sweet. I would have thought
he had forgotten it. Anyhow, hope this helps some.
Kathy
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/30/2000 12:57:07 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
aworthen@... writes:
sandwiches, pizza, broccoli (Believe it or not! My kid won't touch ketchup,
but broccoli is a hit.), pancakes, scrambled eggs, bird's nests (cut a hole
in bread, butter both sides, set into frying pan and break an egg into the
middle, toast and turn to toast other side...my kids love this!), german
pancakes, (still a favorite), any ol' pasta with parmesan cheese and
butter...that's a good sample, I suppose.
I was quite amazed at what he came up with, actually. Like I said, he did
get lots of help in the kitchen!
Also notice the lack of vegetable or tomato products. This kid would not eat
pizza with a traditional sauce on it until he was 8 or 9. His pizza was a
sprinkle of cinnamon or pizza spices, depending on the mood, top with
pepperoni and cheese. I wasn't going near his pizza, but he was happy.
OTOH, we are a real riot at the pizza place because we order a pizza without
any sauce and another with no cheese!
This turned into a real good experience for the boys. The older son, 10
years older, was often drafted to help little brother cook. They enjoyed
themselves and still have special memories about preparing food.
For a while there, Sundays became SON-days...as in the sons cook that day (we
are a boy-children only family). I think I'll have to go back to that
practice. It was nice to have a day I didn't have to figure out the menu.
Besides, if I don't like what's on the menu I can always make a PB&J. LOL
Eiraul
aworthen@... writes:
> > Even the 3 yo took his turns It was theMac and cheese, ramen, chicken fingers/nuggets, fish sticks, grilled cheese
> > cook's job to plan the menu
>
> I'd hate to think of what kind of menu a 3 yo would plan :-)
> Amy
> Mom to Samantha, Dana, and Casey
>
sandwiches, pizza, broccoli (Believe it or not! My kid won't touch ketchup,
but broccoli is a hit.), pancakes, scrambled eggs, bird's nests (cut a hole
in bread, butter both sides, set into frying pan and break an egg into the
middle, toast and turn to toast other side...my kids love this!), german
pancakes, (still a favorite), any ol' pasta with parmesan cheese and
butter...that's a good sample, I suppose.
I was quite amazed at what he came up with, actually. Like I said, he did
get lots of help in the kitchen!
Also notice the lack of vegetable or tomato products. This kid would not eat
pizza with a traditional sauce on it until he was 8 or 9. His pizza was a
sprinkle of cinnamon or pizza spices, depending on the mood, top with
pepperoni and cheese. I wasn't going near his pizza, but he was happy.
OTOH, we are a real riot at the pizza place because we order a pizza without
any sauce and another with no cheese!
This turned into a real good experience for the boys. The older son, 10
years older, was often drafted to help little brother cook. They enjoyed
themselves and still have special memories about preparing food.
For a while there, Sundays became SON-days...as in the sons cook that day (we
are a boy-children only family). I think I'll have to go back to that
practice. It was nice to have a day I didn't have to figure out the menu.
Besides, if I don't like what's on the menu I can always make a PB&J. LOL
Eiraul
[email protected]
I have 4 boys and they all promise not to do to agaiin, yea right. Also I
have 2 ADHD and 1 ADD. One of them is also ODD and OCD nad has depression.
So we also have bought of this. When thye are feeling over loaded form one
another it is park time or outside to time to release the pressure buildinng
up inside. Also they have hard housework if they do something really bad.
Things like scrubbing the walls or the bathtub with baking soda. They hate
these choices so they cool down for awhile then it will start back up the
next day or two.
have 2 ADHD and 1 ADD. One of them is also ODD and OCD nad has depression.
So we also have bought of this. When thye are feeling over loaded form one
another it is park time or outside to time to release the pressure buildinng
up inside. Also they have hard housework if they do something really bad.
Things like scrubbing the walls or the bathtub with baking soda. They hate
these choices so they cool down for awhile then it will start back up the
next day or two.
[email protected]
Eiraul,
I love your post.....they are so inspiring for me ( a mom trying to survive a
spirited 3yr old) please keep them coming........!!!!!
Julie
I love your post.....they are so inspiring for me ( a mom trying to survive a
spirited 3yr old) please keep them coming........!!!!!
Julie
Susan (mother to 5 in Fla)
Thank you Kathy. I hadn't thought about it but looking back the worst
times, I think< does fit in the last half of the year, he's turning 5 Dec
17. I'm going to try the box for him & ds (2). That does seem to be
something they're both going through right now. I guess everything just
piled up on me & I over-reacted. But I'm still glad I wrote because the
stories & advise has been great & worth sharing my stress.
times, I think< does fit in the last half of the year, he's turning 5 Dec
17. I'm going to try the box for him & ds (2). That does seem to be
something they're both going through right now. I guess everything just
piled up on me & I over-reacted. But I'm still glad I wrote because the
stories & advise has been great & worth sharing my stress.
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/30/2000 1:22:58 PM Central Daylight Time,
braunville@... writes:
I enjoy that part of it, but the stove has always had me mystified. Slowly,
after 10 years with my husband, I'm learning. But he's still a much better
and more patient cook than me.
My mom was the cook in the family. She was one of those stay-at-home moms
reared in the 30's and 40's who considered it her mission in life to TAKE
CARE OF HER FAMILY. This is another way of saying that she did everything.
When I got my first apartment, I didn't know how to wash clothes. I did not
know how to cook. The only thing I did know how to do was sew. I had
learned that early because I was attracted to it and all forms of needlework.
But, we had few chores in our house. Mom just took care of all. Now, I'm
paying the price, but I learned a lot from that. We're actively involving
our children in the running and maintenance of the household so that it will
all feel like a natural part of life for them. I hope.
Carron
braunville@... writes:
> Little did we know at the time that the then 13 yo would marry someone whobefore
> can actually burn water! It was a darn good thing he learned to cook
>LOL! I'm the one in our family who can burn water. Actually, I can bake and
> he got married. LOL
>
I enjoy that part of it, but the stove has always had me mystified. Slowly,
after 10 years with my husband, I'm learning. But he's still a much better
and more patient cook than me.
My mom was the cook in the family. She was one of those stay-at-home moms
reared in the 30's and 40's who considered it her mission in life to TAKE
CARE OF HER FAMILY. This is another way of saying that she did everything.
When I got my first apartment, I didn't know how to wash clothes. I did not
know how to cook. The only thing I did know how to do was sew. I had
learned that early because I was attracted to it and all forms of needlework.
But, we had few chores in our house. Mom just took care of all. Now, I'm
paying the price, but I learned a lot from that. We're actively involving
our children in the running and maintenance of the household so that it will
all feel like a natural part of life for them. I hope.
Carron
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/31/2000 3:22:30 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
Jaam1224@... writes:
ROFLOL!! You see, I'm hard to get rid of. heheheh
Eiraul
Jaam1224@... writes:
> Eiraul,survive
> I love your post.....they are so inspiring for me ( a mom trying to
> aThanks...but you have to realize that on this side of the screen, I'm
> spirited 3yr old) please keep them coming........!!!!!
>
> Julie
ROFLOL!! You see, I'm hard to get rid of. heheheh
Eiraul
Tracy Oldfield
This whole thread has reminded me of something I did when I
was little (3 or 4yo, I think). Mum used to clean, and my big sis
babysit (I don't think we ever got sat on, but I couldn't swear to
that) for a neighbour of ours, and I used to go too. Well this
woman had painted, in big red letters 'Don't let the b******s grind
you down!!!' on her magnolia living room walls. I took the
daughter of the house to get the can of paint, got it down, but it
fell, and got EVERYWHERE!!! Well, we tried to clean it up, but
failed (I need to explain that my babysitting big sis was asleep at
this time) and went to the bathroom to clean ourselves. And
accidentally made handprints (bright red paint, remember?) all the
way up the wall. We were still upstairs when Mum came in, and
the front door opened onto the stairway, so she saw all these
handprints and thought someone had been slaughtered! There
was paint everywhere. It's one of those famous family tales now.
*grin*
Tracy
was little (3 or 4yo, I think). Mum used to clean, and my big sis
babysit (I don't think we ever got sat on, but I couldn't swear to
that) for a neighbour of ours, and I used to go too. Well this
woman had painted, in big red letters 'Don't let the b******s grind
you down!!!' on her magnolia living room walls. I took the
daughter of the house to get the can of paint, got it down, but it
fell, and got EVERYWHERE!!! Well, we tried to clean it up, but
failed (I need to explain that my babysitting big sis was asleep at
this time) and went to the bathroom to clean ourselves. And
accidentally made handprints (bright red paint, remember?) all the
way up the wall. We were still upstairs when Mum came in, and
the front door opened onto the stairway, so she saw all these
handprints and thought someone had been slaughtered! There
was paint everywhere. It's one of those famous family tales now.
*grin*
Tracy
Tracy Oldfield
Mum tells a story of giving precise instructions to kids. A friend
of hers was in bed feeling rough, and they were skint, too. Her
daughter asked her if they had a clean hankercheif, they didn't.
The mum told the girl to cut a square from a curtain. She did.
Right in the middle of the curtain... What can you do? The child
did as she was told...
Tracy
of hers was in bed feeling rough, and they were skint, too. Her
daughter asked her if they had a clean hankercheif, they didn't.
The mum told the girl to cut a square from a curtain. She did.
Right in the middle of the curtain... What can you do? The child
did as she was told...
Tracy
Susan (mother to 5 in Fla)
I decided to bake bread & pies for tomorrow. (DH has a really great key
lime pie.) I was letting the kids (7 & 4) help but they were into it more
than I needed. First we made the graham cracker crust (DH wanted to buy the
premade). They had a blast. DH was surprised to see them having so much
fun. DH was busy getting the chicken in marinate & the kids were under foot
trying to help him too. They had to read & follow directions for me. I was
planning on one key lime & one pumpkin. DD & I cooked some down from last
year's pumpkin & I froze it in cup sizes. DH decided pumpkin was not in
season so we're having 2 key lime pies. Then I got out the bread dough.
The kids were surprised at how it grew. They wanted to eat the dough more
than knead. The first loaf is out of the oven & smells great.
DH decided he's figured out why husbands go to work & stay out of the
homeschooling way. The kids were trying to be too much help for him in a
small kitchen. Though he's gradually getting used to it. It's the first
time he's been home for a major bake off.
lime pie.) I was letting the kids (7 & 4) help but they were into it more
than I needed. First we made the graham cracker crust (DH wanted to buy the
premade). They had a blast. DH was surprised to see them having so much
fun. DH was busy getting the chicken in marinate & the kids were under foot
trying to help him too. They had to read & follow directions for me. I was
planning on one key lime & one pumpkin. DD & I cooked some down from last
year's pumpkin & I froze it in cup sizes. DH decided pumpkin was not in
season so we're having 2 key lime pies. Then I got out the bread dough.
The kids were surprised at how it grew. They wanted to eat the dough more
than knead. The first loaf is out of the oven & smells great.
DH decided he's figured out why husbands go to work & stay out of the
homeschooling way. The kids were trying to be too much help for him in a
small kitchen. Though he's gradually getting used to it. It's the first
time he's been home for a major bake off.