Sonia Ulan

Hi Everybody!

Since I'm the one who mentioned the label of "terrible twos" etc. I feel
I ought to clarify why I thought it was of value to identify age-related
"phases". I agree that labelling a so-called "phase" can sometimes be
detrimental. I know the whole labelling thing in general is
counterproductive to children/people. I just think it can be helpful to
sometimes have a frame of reference to help identify some behaviors.
When your child is on the verge of leaving babyhood and about to become
a full-fledged "kid", of course the child is going to endure growing
pains of one form or another. Before I really doubt myself as a mother
and start listening to all kinds of rotten advice, ("Oh, you've just
spoiled him...he should be weaned by now!" or "You've been too soft, a
few swats with the wooden spoon would fix that noise"...Believe me, this
is what I've heard!!!) it can be helpful to remind myself that this
sometimes inconvenient behavior is typical and often short-lived. My
two year old won't be two forever, and this is just a "phase". With
patience, consistency, and love it will pass. I happen to believe the
so-called "terrible twos" can also be the "terrific twos". There is so
much wonder and magic at this age. A two year old is actually capable
of asking for a hug and giving you one back! A two year old is just
starting to sing! A two year old loves animals! A two year old can be
so social! Mine have always been real entertainers...(BTW, my "two year
old" phase usually starts at 18 months and is usually over with by 26
months.)

Phases are transitional and not anything to take too seriously.
"Phases" are not BEHAVIOURAL problems. (Those are to be treated
completely differently...)

Thanks for letting me re-state the obvious!

Sonia