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Sorry...that last one sent without my asking it to! This one has a
response...scroll on down...

In a message dated 7/22/2000 6:59:41 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
liv2learn@... writes:

> (he spends a lot of time alone those days), and
> days when other kids are just not available to play (harder when
> homeschooling because I have to actively search for potential playmates and
> arrange playdates around the schedules of others). I have found that,
> because I have only one, people assume that I will be able to arrange
> events and make accommodations because I "have so much free time" (not
> necessarily true!). Although I have spent a lot of time being his main
> playmate in the past, as he has gotten older, I am not as much fun for him
> as kids his age it seems. Now he really asks for other kids to play with
> and this is a challenge for me to find them.

We have two onlies. Honest! 10 years between kids leaves them each pretty
much an only. Sure it was a bit harder to encourage them to learn to play on
their own and find activities to keep them busy. OTOH, we learned how much
fun it is to play with our child. I love that part of it. He has helped me
remember it's not all work, work, work. Life should include some play and
fun! (especially important to me as my health will not allow me to expend
much energy on anything right now...it's nice to be able to 'legitimately'
play with my boy. heheheh)

As for helping find friends. I just got out of the way and he finds his own!
This little scamp brought home a playmate from the post office! Actually,
we didn't either of us go to the other's home at first...you know how things
are in big cities these days. But, the boys would not leave each other until
we had made a play date. Exchanged phone numbers while still at the post
office and met at a park a couple times before visiting each other at home.
Turned out to be just one example of a pretty good friendship.

Also, look outside the box! For instance, assuming your kid is as nice as
mine <insertful prideful grin for which I'll probably burn forever (if I
believed such things)> nursing homes would probably LOVE visits. It seems a
little strange to do at first, but it makes such a difference in these
people's lives. Especially if he's willing to take a game with him and offer
to play checkers or something with someone there. Don't know anyone at a
nursing home? Show up and ask them at the front desk or nursing station if
there is someone that needs a friend or tell them you'd like to adopt a g'ma
or g'pa.

I sure agree about the assumption you have more time to make arrangements!
We run into that, too. Plus, my illnes is not so readily obvious to the
casual observer. I don't like to inflict my pain on others, so most people
that meet and visit with me don't know that I'm in almost constant pain and
have major fatigue. Sometimes there is disappointment when I can't jump in
and do more. It looks like a matter of won't rather than can't. Plus, I
can't even know for sure ahead of time that I can make any appointment I
might make...so no sense arranging something there's a good chance I can't
attend when the time comes. But, I suppose that's another story, too. sorry
for rambling.

Of course, savvy parent that you are, this is probably all old hat and I'm
rambling. But 'only's can be such fun! (of course, it's some jealousy
enters in here...I would so much like to have had more kids or the
opportunity to adopt. But that's another story and I don't like sour grapes!
So, when I decide we don't have enough kidlets around here, I borrow someone
elses! They are happy to come visit and mom gets a little break.)

Have a good day,
Eiraul