janddplus5

I wanted to share the dh is finally gone on his deployment. He left
Friday. Though it was very sad to see him go, I feel that the
anxiety of waiting for him to leave is over for all of our family.
I think some of my son's behavior was exacerbated by the fact that
he was dealing with the emotions of my husband's leaving.

Since he has gone my son is being very loving to me, considerate,
and defensive over me. For instance, he has initiated what seems
like a million hugs and kisses (which is not normally him). He has
also been very protective of my feelings.

Like yesterday I went to the grocery store and before I went I asked
everyone if they wanted somethings special. I usually do this and
it is almost always something different each time for each one.
Well the youngest 5yog wasn't awake when I left so I didn't wake her
to ask and grabbed some starburst for her thinking she would love
them. Well needless to say, she was very disappointed because it
was not what she would have asked for and boy did she ever let me
have it. Well my son was very upset with her and told her he
thought that she was ungrateful and being a brat.

I wasn't upset about it, except I couldn't get her to stop crying.
I offered to go back to the store, and she said no. The other kids
offered to share their treats with her, and she said no. She was
basically inconsolable for 30 mins. I went and laid down on the bed
with her and told her how sorry I was and that next time I would be
sure to find out what she would like before I went. I also told her
that I thought what she was feeling was disappointment and that it
happens to everyone now and then. She finally calmed down and all
was well in her world again. She happily ate her starburst and even
shared them.

I then explained to my son that it was my fault for not planning
better for her. I also told him that he needed to remember that she
was 5 years old and didn't act that way because she was a spoiled
brat, but rather because she was VERY disappointed and that was they
only way she knew to express that emotion. I am not sure if he
fully understood, but he no longer showed anger or frustration
toward her. Which was really big for him.

Anyway, I just wanted to share our progress in our house. But now I
have a question.

My son came to me yesterday morning and asked me to make a chore
list so that the kids would know what I needed help with around the
house. I stood there quite shocked that he would think of helping
on his own like that. So I have been pondering how to handle this.
I really could use the help if the kids are willing, but I don't
want to be assigning chores that they feel they "have" to do. What
I have come up with as of this morning is this...

I think I could make a MOM'S to do list and post it on the wall or
fridge or something. Then explain to the kids that if there is
anything they think they might want to do to help out then I would
welcome the help. I also would tell them that it is really okay if
they don't help, because the list is not to make them feel
obligated. The list is simply a reminder for me of what I would like
to accomplish at some point throughout the day. What do ya'll
think? Any other ideas of how I may go about this in a productive
and joyful way?

I also want to say thanks again to all who initially replied a week
or so ago when I posted about my son. I have applied some of the
wonderful advice and am at this point reaping the benefits of your
wisdom and gaining more of my own.

Dana

Sandra Dodd

Thanks for the update, and I'm glad things are going well.


-=-I also told him that he needed to remember that she
was 5 years old and didn't act that way because she was a spoiled
brat,-=-

Please rethink the whole "spoiled" concept. I used to have that
thought and definition in my mind too, from growing up, and things
that were said over the years, but I think it's wrong and cruel.
http://sandradodd.com/spoiled

You might want to share some of the ideas with your son if/after you
read that, in way of soliciting his help. If he feels like he's
learning about parenting and child development (not by those words,
but learning what will help him to be a good dad someday) he will
feel more mature and useful now, maybe.

-=-My son came to me yesterday morning and asked me to make a chore
list so that the kids would know what I needed help with around the
house. I stood there quite shocked that he would think of helping
on his own like that. So I have been pondering how to handle this.
I really could use the help if the kids are willing, but I don't
want to be assigning chores that they feel they "have" to do. What
I have come up with as of this morning is this...

-=-I think I could make a MOM'S to do list and post it on the wall or
fridge or something. Then explain to the kids that if there is
anything they think they might want to do to help out then I would
welcome the help. I also would tell them that it is really okay if
they don't help, because the list is not to make them feel
obligated. The list is simply a reminder for me of what I would like
to accomplish at some point throughout the day. What do ya'll
think? Any other ideas of how I may go about this in a productive
and joyful way?-=-

I think your solution's a good one! Maybe have one column for all-
the-time chores, and another one for special, occasional or one-shot
stuff, and invite them to add things to it. It might be really fun
to see what they add.

I like calling it "to do" instead of "chores" too, because a "chore"
is by definition drudgery and "not fun."

Sandra

Deb

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd
<Sandra@S...> wrote:
>
> I like calling it "to do" instead of "chores" too, because
>a "chore"
> is by definition drudgery and "not fun."
>
> Sandra
>
We call it 'to do' also - any time we have a bunch of stuff, I make
a to-do list and either write it on the chalkboard (we have a huge,
chalkboard painted chalkboard in the kitchen - 8'x4' section of
wall) or on paper and leave it and a pen/pencil next to it. In
amongst the "clean crumbs from toaster" and "scrub the tub" are
things like "watch a movie" and "play Scrabble" and such. Typically,
we do this over breakfast on the day we need it and all 3 of us toss
in ideas. Then I re-write and group things so that all 'going out of
the house' things are together, or all 'upstairs' things are
together and so on. Saves steps later on. And, often, we'll lump all
the going out activities together and combine them, if possible,
with a stop at a favorite restaurant for lunch or dinner.

We don't have a standing list, DH has stuff he does each day (today,
Monday, for instance, is laundry day-since it's just the three of
us, one concerted effort gets everything washed and dried by
dinnertime and we put in a movie after dinner and fold and put away
whatever hasn't been folded and put away by then). If DS asks to do
something, there's always some part of what's going on he can do -
sweeping the kitchen (he loves the Swiffer wetjet), rinsing or
drying dishes, dusting, etc.

--Deb

wifetovegman2002

--- In [email protected], "janddplus5"
<janddplus5@b...> wrote:
>
> I wanted to share the dh is finally gone on his deployment. He left
> Friday.
>
> Since he has gone my son is being very loving to me, considerate,
> and defensive over me.
>
> Well my son was very upset with her and told her he
> thought that she was ungrateful and being a brat.
>
> My son came to me yesterday morning and asked me to make a chore
> list so that the kids would know what I needed help with around the
> house. I stood there quite shocked that he would think of helping
> on his own like that.


Dana,

I say this as gently as I can, not knowing you or your family at all,
but it sounds like your sweet boy is trying to fill his daddy's shoes.
Which can be a good thing, but can also be a very stressful and
burdensome thing for a young boy to try to do.

Did your Dh, before leaving, perhaps have a father-son chat about
responsibility and taking care of Mom and the younger siblings? A
sensitive child could even have just picked up on what they think they
are "supposed to do" during such a period of time in a family.

You might want to gently talk to him about what he is thinking about
Dad being gone and let him know that it is okay to just be 11 years
old, that you and DH have taken care of the adult stuff and even
though Daddy is gone, you have things under control just fine.

My own DH talks sometimes about how his older brother tried to fill in
his daddy's place whenever he would be deployed, and how he hated it
when the big bro would take on that authoritarian voice and try to
boss him around and make him do chores and such.

Anyway, just something to think about.

~Susan M in VA
wifetovegman

Robyn Coburn

<<<< I wasn't upset about it, except I couldn't get her to stop crying.
I offered to go back to the store, and she said no. The other kids
offered to share their treats with her, and she said no. She was
basically inconsolable for 30 mins. I went and laid down on the bed
with her and told her how sorry I was and that next time I would be
sure to find out what she would like before I went. I also told her
that I thought what she was feeling was disappointment and that it
happens to everyone now and then. She finally calmed down and all
was well in her world again. She happily ate her starburst and even
shared them.>>>>

My first guess would be that it wasn't really about the starburst or the
idea of choice of candy.

Ever deliberately put on a tear jerker movie because you wanted a good cry?

I suspect that her excessive seeming reaction really was your dd's need to
process her sense of loss about her father going, and that this small upset
was just the trigger that enabled her to get started on the good cry that
she needed.

Robyn L. Coburn

--
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janddplus5

> Dana,
>
> I say this as gently as I can, not knowing you or your family at
all,
> but it sounds like your sweet boy is trying to fill his daddy's
shoes.
> Which can be a good thing, but can also be a very stressful and
> burdensome thing for a young boy to try to do.
>
> Did your Dh, before leaving, perhaps have a father-son chat about
> responsibility and taking care of Mom and the younger siblings? A
> sensitive child could even have just picked up on what they think
they
> are "supposed to do" during such a period of time in a family.
>
> You might want to gently talk to him about what he is thinking
about
> Dad being gone and let him know that it is okay to just be 11 years
> old, that you and DH have taken care of the adult stuff and even
> though Daddy is gone, you have things under control just fine.
>
> My own DH talks sometimes about how his older brother tried to
fill in
> his daddy's place whenever he would be deployed, and how he hated
it
> when the big bro would take on that authoritarian voice and try to
> boss him around and make him do chores and such.
>
> Anyway, just something to think about.
>
> ~Susan M in VA
> wifetovegman


***Well, I hadn't really thought about that, but I guess anything is
possible. He doesn't seem stressed to me, he actually seems to be
relieved, but I could be misreading him too. Anxiety usually runs
pretty high around here the week or so before dh leaves, and it is
like we all exhale and decompress after he is gone. It sounds
pretty crappy, and we are all very sad to see him go, but the
waiting for him to leave and counting down the days is really hard
on everyone including dh.

My son still does all the regular things that he does all the time.
None of that has changed. He still reads half the day, watches
movies 1/4 of the day, and goes to his friends for a couple of
hours. So the external normalcies are all firmly the same (except
for dad being here).

They didn't have any talks about responsibility and "stepping up"
and such, not that I know of at least, but they have had them in the
past. Now that my son is older he maybe feeling the need (or the
pressure)to step up from his age or from previous expectations.
Either way I have pretty much decided not "ask" much of anything
from him or my girls. I am going to post the To Do list and then
see what happens.

My kids have been very helpful already with out the list and with
out me having to ask in many cases. They haven't initiated much,
but when they see me folding laundry or carrying it they will
say "let me help you with that", or just start folding with me while
they tell me about something that is on their mind. The list will
be in place so that if they want to be helpful then they will have
something to go with that they know really does need to be done at
some point. Like a reference point if they want one.

I really don't feel like I need to make him feel like the "man".
Although, now that I am thinking about it, there are times when he
sees me doing something that he feels is too much for me, and he
basically takes over. In those instances what I see in him is that
he is proud, because he is stronger than me. And all those times
are self-initiated. I am always grateful because he is stronger
than me and he always picks the perfect time to catch me and help.
He really is an awesome kid.

Well these were interesting points that you made and I think I
should keep a watchful eye on the situation to be sure that he (or
the girls) don't feel like they have to be the adult because there
is only one for awhile. It also helps to have thier friends around
here because they focus more on play or helping their school friends
with their homework ;-)

I get a kick out of that one, that my 10 yod spent half the night
last night helping her girlfriend a 7th grader with her homework and
did a great job! The did a project and it was pretty cool.

Anyway, I am going to encourage play and fun, by not encouraging
them to fill their daddy's shoes, just in case. I want them to be
kids, not little adults. They'll have plenty of time for adult
stress and responsibility when they are adults. They don't need it
now. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

Dana

janddplus5

--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@c...> wrote:
>
> <<<< I wasn't upset about it, except I couldn't get her to stop
crying.
> I offered to go back to the store, and she said no. The other
kids
> offered to share their treats with her, and she said no. She was
> basically inconsolable for 30 mins. I went and laid down on the
bed
> with her and told her how sorry I was and that next time I would
be
> sure to find out what she would like before I went. I also told
her
> that I thought what she was feeling was disappointment and that it
> happens to everyone now and then. She finally calmed down and all
> was well in her world again. She happily ate her starburst and
even
> shared them.>>>>
>
> My first guess would be that it wasn't really about the starburst
or the
> idea of choice of candy.
>
> Ever deliberately put on a tear jerker movie because you wanted a
good cry?
>
> I suspect that her excessive seeming reaction really was your dd's
need to
> process her sense of loss about her father going, and that this
small upset
> was just the trigger that enabled her to get started on the good
cry that
> she needed.
>
> Robyn L. Coburn

***Well she certainly was inconsolable no matter what I offered to
her or what the other kids offered. Since then I have made Daddy
and Me movies for each of the kids with my digital camera and the
computer so that each child has a movie with them and daddy that is
just theirs and they can watch it anytime right on the tv. They
have enjoyed this as well as cried a few tears.

The little ones have a harder time understanding the situation. I
have a hard time with it in my heart, so why would my 5 year old be
able to handle it perfectly.

You would think living this life for the last 13 years would give me
tons of insight and that I would have this all under control and see
it coming. Now I just want to sit here and cry, because you all see
it so much clearer than I do and right about now I feel like I am
leaning on all of you to guide me through parenting my children. I
am mentally exhausted I guess and I just am not picking up on the
things I should. I am trying.

I must look pretty stupid with my post and the fact that I am
missing what is right before my face. Maybe I needed a good cry
too! Well this is probably the most eradic post I have ever sent and
don't even know if any of it just made sense. There sure are a lot
of I, I , I's in this.

Thanks and sorry for rambling,
Dana

wifetovegman2002

--- In [email protected], "janddplus5"
<janddplus5@b...> wrote:
>
>

>
> They didn't have any talks about responsibility and "stepping up"
> and such, not that I know of at least, but they have had them in the
> past. Now that my son is older he maybe feeling the need (or the
> pressure)to step up from his age or from previous expectations.


It was just a thought I had, Dana, and like I said, I don't know you
or your family so it probably was way off base.

We went through something similar on a much smaller scale when my DH
was going away for a two-week business trip, and I noticed my 14yo was
acting very sweet and protective and responsible. It isn't
necessarily a bad thing at all, just a fresh awareness of others'
needs. I just know how *my* boy can really put a lot of pressure on
himself that way.

~Susan M. in VA
wifetovegman

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 31, 2006, at 8:30 AM, janddplus5 wrote:

> Anyway, I am going to encourage play and fun, by not encouraging
> them to fill their daddy's shoes, just in case. I want them to be
> kids, not little adults. They'll have plenty of time for adult
> stress and responsibility when they are adults. They don't need it
> now.

==============

Making distinctions between being kids and "little adults" can be
problematical. If each is just seen as the whole person he or she
is, and if childishness isn't extinguished, then the maturity will
develop gradually without needing to crowd out the playfulness. If
one of my children is about to do something very mature, it wouldn't
be great for me to say "No, just play and be a kid." But if Kirby
really started to lord it over Holly and getting bossier than her
real parents are, I would ask him not to do that. That's not a
maturity or responsibility issue, that's a control issue, and
boundaries issue.

Sandra

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 31, 2006, at 8:48 AM, janddplus5 wrote:

> Now I just want to sit here and cry, because you all see
> it so much clearer than I do and right about now I feel like I am
> leaning on all of you to guide me through parenting my children.

======================================================

Other parents can serve as a kind of mirror. You put the information
out and we reflect it back. That's not cheating. Mirrors are fair
to use.

Sandra

janddplus5

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd
<Sandra@S...> wrote:
>
>
> On Jan 31, 2006, at 8:48 AM, janddplus5 wrote:
>
> > Now I just want to sit here and cry, because you all see
> > it so much clearer than I do and right about now I feel like I am
> > leaning on all of you to guide me through parenting my children.
>
> ======================================================
>
> Other parents can serve as a kind of mirror. You put the
information
> out and we reflect it back. That's not cheating. Mirrors are
fair
> to use.
>
> Sandra
>

*** I am not upset by the help and advice at all. I asked for it and
I am grateful, because it is so helpful for me. Maybe how I said
that wasn't very clear. I am just wishing that I had the insight
myself, but I guess I am too emotional right now myself to see as
clearly as you all do. I am right in the middle of things here, I
just want to be a good mom, supportive of my kids and to help them
get through this time for them as pain free as possible.

Sometimes the very things that are right in front of my face are the
ones that are the hardest to see. So the mirrors provided here for
me are very useful and healthy for my growth as a parent. And when
you all see things that I didn't even think of then it helps me to
parent a little better each day. I gain insight and my kids gain a
happier life.


I am sorry if I wasn't clear about how I felt. And I was feeling
sorry for myself and my lack of wisdom and insight sometimes.

Dana

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 31, 2006, at 11:40 AM, janddplus5 wrote:

> I am not upset by the help and advice at all. I asked for it and
> I am grateful, because it is so helpful for me. Maybe how I said
> that wasn't very clear. I am just wishing that I had the insight
> myself, but I guess I am too emotional right now myself to see as
> clearly as you all do.

==========

I read it as you explained it. I just thought it seemed you were
giving away too much credit for understanding. If we reflect back to
you, and you accept it, we were not much more than just a mirror you
looked into. On can look into a mirror and say "That's not what I
look like" or "that's not happening," or one can look carefully and
thoughtfully, which you seem to be doing.

It's good!

Sandra

Lisa M. Cottrell Bentley

> Well these were interesting points that you made and I think I
> should keep a watchful eye on the situation to be sure that he (or
> the girls) don't feel like they have to be the adult because there
> is only one for awhile.

Good! From your story, it sounds as though the oldest is your 11 year
old son. I just kept wondering throughout the grocery store story --
who was the adult in charge when you were at the store? Who was there
for the 5 yo? What would have happened if you had been delayed for some
unknown reason? It worried me. There is _no_ way that I would leave an
11 yo in charge of even one younger sibling while I went shopping. Too
risky and way too big of a responsibility to put on a child.

-Lisa in AZ

janddplus5

--- In [email protected], "Lisa M. Cottrell
Bentley" <cottrellbentley@d...> wrote:
>
> > Well these were interesting points that you made and I think I
> > should keep a watchful eye on the situation to be sure that he
(or
> > the girls) don't feel like they have to be the adult because
there
> > is only one for awhile.
>
> Good! From your story, it sounds as though the oldest is your 11
year
> old son. I just kept wondering throughout the grocery store
story --
> who was the adult in charge when you were at the store? Who was
there
> for the 5 yo? What would have happened if you had been delayed
for some
> unknown reason? It worried me. There is _no_ way that I would
leave an
> 11 yo in charge of even one younger sibling while I went
shopping. Too
> risky and way too big of a responsibility to put on a child.
>
> -Lisa in AZ
>

Ya know when I read this I went back and read my post and I can see
why you might assume my children were unattended. However, if you
had some concern about that you could have addressed by asking the
above question about supervision without, what I percieved to be,
the accusation that follows. I felt that you immediately accused
that I was neglectful in not so many words. If you don't know the
circumstances surrounding an event you can ask, get your answer, and
then decide whether or not you need to address the situation with
your opinion.

Also, in MY opinion it is an individual decision that families need
to make based on the maturity level of each child involved. There
are 16 year olds that can't be left alone even to take care of
themselves because they are simply not responsible enough yet to
make good and safe choices. There are also 11 year old children and
some even younger in our state that are latch key kids and are very
responsible for their age.

Leaving children at home alone for any period of time has certain
risks associated with it but so does letting them do just about any
other activity out there. My 11 yo son, for instance, plays one
street over with out me there with him for 1.5 - 2 hours at a time.
I have helped him all that I feel I can about making safe decisions
without me there to hold his hand. He checks in with me and goes
back to play if he chooses. This didn't happen over night, but in
time he learned what he needed to in order to be able to go. He
goes there to play because the *14 yo* boy that lives there is not
allowed to leave his cul-de-sac, because his parents feel he not
responsible enough. That is their choice based on how they see
their son.

Can I be sure that he will not get hurt, be abducted or some have
some other horrific tragedy befall him? Of course not, there are
never any guarantees, but we do the very best that we can to help
prevent bad things from happening to our children, but when you have
done all that you know how to do to ensure their safety and well
being then that is, once again in my opinion, the best that we can
do. I am not going to make him stay home and have no freedom until
he hits some magical age made up by somebody else, fit to some other
child.

You may be very uncomfortable with ever leaving your children home
alone or letting them out of your site for that matter and that is
fine. I won't judge you. If it doesn't feel right to you then you
should probably go with your gut instinct. I think it was and is
wrong to judge someone without all the facts. Family dynamics
differ greatly and each child has to be viewed as an individual.

There are many other things to address as well, like do they have an
adult they can access immediately (next door neighbor), do they
understand how to use 911 and know other emergency contacts, how
long is the adult going to be away and how far are they going and
many more things to consider.

Regardless, you may disagree with me, but you posted your opinion of
my choices without any information to back up your concerns. You
stated how worried you were that my children were alone. Maybe next
time you should ask before jumping to conclusions and assumptions
when you simply don't have the facts.

By the way, my children were not unattended, my neigbor was here!
My post wasn't concerning a babysitting issue so it didn't cross my
mind to start it with...

While I was at the store and a baby sitter was watching my children
in my home I...

Dana

janddplus5

--- In [email protected], "Lisa M. Cottrell
Bentley" <cottrellbentley@d...> wrote:
>
> > Well these were interesting points that you made and I think I
> > should keep a watchful eye on the situation to be sure that he
(or
> > the girls) don't feel like they have to be the adult because
there
> > is only one for awhile.
>
> Good! From your story, it sounds as though the oldest is your 11
year
> old son. I just kept wondering throughout the grocery store
story --
> who was the adult in charge when you were at the store? Who was
there
> for the 5 yo? What would have happened if you had been delayed
for some
> unknown reason? It worried me. There is _no_ way that I would
leave an
> 11 yo in charge of even one younger sibling while I went
shopping. Too
> risky and way too big of a responsibility to put on a child.
>
> -Lisa in AZ
>
***By the way I would be devasted if something happened to my son
while he was not under my supervision, but I would be equally as
devasted if some terrible thing were to happen to him if he were
standing next to me. If I could fore see the future and keep all
bad things from happening that would be ideal and best but I can't
and neither can anyone else.

Dana

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 31, 2006, at 5:05 PM, janddplus5 wrote:

> Ya know when I read this I went back and read my post and I can see
> why you might assume my children were unattended. However, if

-------------------------------

No, no, no...

If what one writes appears a certain way, responses to that
appearance are fine.
It's exactly the way the list works.

We're not going to discuss the discussions.
Anyone too thin skinned to read responses to what they've voluntarily
written will be very unhappy on this list.

Stick to the ideas themselves.

Be careful with what you write, everyone. Read it over carefully to
make sure it says exactly what you want it to say.

Maturity and circumstances are MUCH more important that chronological
age. There are adults I wouldn't entrust my kids to (or even my
empty house). Holly stayed home alone from a very young age (6, 7)
for me to go to a grocery store four blocks away. She had phone
numbers on speed dial (her dad and at least one other adult friend),
the dog, knew which neighbors were home... it was never without
preparation, and it was her desire and her wish to be alone. I
wouldn't have done it for just anyone, and I wouldn't have left her
without her wanting it. It was a challenge and an adventure for her.

Sandra

janddplus5

>
> No, no, no...
>
> If what one writes appears a certain way, responses to that
> appearance are fine.
> It's exactly the way the list works.
>
> We're not going to discuss the discussions.
> Anyone too thin skinned to read responses to what they've
voluntarily
> written will be very unhappy on this list.
>
> Stick to the ideas themselves.
>
> Be careful with what you write, everyone. Read it over carefully
to
> make sure it says exactly what you want it to say.
>
> Maturity and circumstances are MUCH more important that
chronological
> age. There are adults I wouldn't entrust my kids to (or even my
> empty house). Holly stayed home alone from a very young age (6,
7)
> for me to go to a grocery store four blocks away. She had phone
> numbers on speed dial (her dad and at least one other adult
friend),
> the dog, knew which neighbors were home... it was never without
> preparation, and it was her desire and her wish to be alone. I
> wouldn't have done it for just anyone, and I wouldn't have left
her
> without her wanting it. It was a challenge and an adventure for
her.
>
> Sandra
>
***You are right and I apologize. I felt very accused of neglect
with what was written and therefore responded. I would not have
handled things that way, but that's just me. I definitely didn't
think at all when I wrote that post that it would be interpreted
that I had neglected my children in some way. I guess because I was
focused on a whole different issue. That is why I went back and
read my post again. I will be VERY sure to read and re-read my
posts from now on to try and be clearer about what I post. I
realize posts are for scrutinizing here and I appreciate that about
this list. Frankly that is why I am here, to learn how to be a
better parent. Tonight when I read this I simply felt accused of
neglecting my children and allowed it to deeply offend me. My
apologies for my response.

Dana

Dana

Pamela Sorooshian

On Jan 31, 2006, at 1:18 PM, Lisa M. Cottrell Bentley wrote:

> There is _no_ way that I would leave an
> 11 yo in charge of even one younger sibling while I went shopping.
> Too
> risky and way too big of a responsibility to put on a child.

Roya was left home in charge of one younger sister when she was 11 -
happily and easily. I'd go down to the store - a few blocks away,
very often. She was very responsible - had even taken a Red Cross
babysitting course. I wouldn't leave her with both younger sisters
because when she was "babysitting," she concentrated on playing with
the one she was with. I didn't want her to be trying to handle two
younger kids. But one? Easy.

There is no magic age - but there are plenty of 11 year olds who
babysit.

-pam





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