windlesara

Hi, new to this message board idea, never attempted it beore in my
life. My husband and I have a 14 yr old son. His education history
is this:k-1 public, 2-4 priviate christian, 5-7 public, 8 not truly
unschooled, 9 (currently) accredited online homeschool (morning star
academy). My delimma is this my husband and I both work, truly out
of necessity. It would be my absoulte dream to stay home for what
is left of my son's time with us, but finanacially impossible. As
it is I work part time for full time pay, arranged with boss with no
raises for the past several years, just decreasingly less hours. We
don't work to upkeep a lifestyle, we work to feed, house and cloth
ourselves literally. Any way back to my point, my son is doing good
at online school but has to have lots of prompting to complete the
work and only does the bare minimum required. I am truly
considering unschooling for the rest of his highschool years, but i
am concerned about his lack of motivation. He is interested in
video games and yugioh trading cards and tv. He only has 2 come to
the
house friends and never goes to their house. He does attend youth
group 2x weekly and ejoys it. He goes every saturday to card
tournament with around 20-30 other participants and interacts. I
have only in the last couple of months come to grips with the fact
that this is good thing...the video games and card tournaments and
collecting cards, and my acceptance has helped him feel better, but
I worry that he shows no interest in absolutely anything else, in
fact he even hates to go outside and goof off and
don't know if unschooling will help unleash interest or not? Please
give any insight into this matter that you can, i'm very interested.

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/28/2006 7:11:21 PM Eastern Standard Time,
windlesara@... writes:

>>I worry that he shows no interest in absolutely anything else, in
fact he even hates to go outside and goof off and
don't know if unschooling will help unleash interest or not? Please
give any insight into this matter that you can, i'm very interested.<<

We had semi-unschooled for a couple of years, but it wasn't until this year
that I finally completely let go. I have 5 at home (2 foster kids have to go
to school.) All the years that we homeschooled (which has been my 17 yo
son's entire life) I struggled, fussed, pushed, and agonized that he wasn't
motivated. I couldn't get him to read a book for "pleasure" to save his life (I
know I'm exaggerating, but that's how it felt). It was like this with all
the kids, but since my son sounds a lot like yours, I'll use him as an example.

When I finally let go, he started doing amazing things. He finally picked
up his guitar and actually started teaching himself. He went on the internet
and found instructions, songs, recordings. For YEARS I had tried to get him
interested in music, including teaching them how to read music (nominally)
and when I finally let go, he did it himself!

Like I mentioned, he never wanted to read. He'd read what he was "made" to
read to do his schoolwork, but that was it. When I let go, suddenly he's
finding books he can't set down. Yesterday, he was helping my husband with
stuff around here, and suddenly stopped and said, "Dad, can we take a break and
finish this later? I have to get to the library before they close so I can
get the next book." (in the series he's reading.)

He has started working out with weights, and has a "plan" that he goes by,
and he's stuck with it pretty well. He checks out cool videos at the library
(National Geographic, etc) and actually enjoys them. We have lots of cool
discusstions about things.

His computer knowledge has increased, as he's helped my husband set up our
household system (we have 5 computers hooked up). He's learning the DVD
making program, and him and another son have plans of making a movie.

It's like, we spent all that time before fretting and fussing over
curriculum, gotta get it done, oh crap, it's getting late in the day, hurry up and get
your schoolwork done! Oh no, now it's getting late in the year, we still
have all these books we have to finish...come on, we have to sit down and get
this done!

All of our lives have improved since I just let go. I don't "do
nothing"...I still offer a lot of stuff to the kids. If I see a book I think one child
might like, I'll buy it (cartoon drawing, manga, water painting, etc.) I
pick up a lot of movies at the library, and I send them a lot of stuff I find on
the internet that I think they might like. We go to the library and get a
TON of books each week. Sometimes they only look at them, sometimes they read
a few, sometimes they spend hours reading, and sometimes they barely touch
them, but THEY picked them out, they are books that interest THEM. And I'll
pick out an art book (one of those huge coffee table types) each week, and a
few science type books, and they can look at them, or not. I spend a lot of
time with them, but the time isn't spent stressing out over what they know and
don't know.

Nancy B.







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 28, 2006, at 11:54 AM, windlesara wrote:

> Any way back to my point, my son is doing good
> at online school but has to have lots of prompting to complete the
> work and only does the bare minimum required.

========================

I would keep prompting him and not expect anything more than the bare
minimum. He's been in school a long time, and if he's going to be
doing this on his own, at least he'll get a diploma or certificate,
right? And he'll still have time to do a bunch of gaming? Maybe
he can get a GED and stop doing the schooling pretty soon. Maybe he
could take a class or two at a community college? (Let's don't
discuss all that here, but you might look into those things for next
year or the year after.)

If you can't stay home with him, unschooling might still work.
Figure out how many waking hours there are when you're not at work,
and spend lots of them with your son.

Poke around these two websites:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/

http://sandradodd.com/teens (there might or might not be something
useful there)

Sandra

windlesara

-
How awesome, it almost sounds like a fairy tale to someone like me
like i'm on the outside looking in. I want this so bad i can taste
it. Your family truly sounds amazing! My son wants to work really
bad to earn money to use to do things with that he likes, do you
think that can be incorporated into the learning experience in terms
of using it on his transcript? He's only 14 so I'm just not sure
about working.



-- In [email protected], CelticFrau@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 1/28/2006 7:11:21 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> windlesara@y... writes:
>
> >>I worry that he shows no interest in absolutely anything else,
in
> fact he even hates to go outside and goof off and
> don't know if unschooling will help unleash interest or not?
Please
> give any insight into this matter that you can, i'm very
interested.<<
>
> We had semi-unschooled for a couple of years, but it wasn't until
this year
> that I finally completely let go. I have 5 at home (2 foster
kids have to go
> to school.) All the years that we homeschooled (which has been
my 17 yo
> son's entire life) I struggled, fussed, pushed, and agonized that
he wasn't
> motivated. I couldn't get him to read a book for "pleasure" to
save his life (I
> know I'm exaggerating, but that's how it felt). It was like this
with all
> the kids, but since my son sounds a lot like yours, I'll use him
as an example.
>
> When I finally let go, he started doing amazing things. He
finally picked
> up his guitar and actually started teaching himself. He went on
the internet
> and found instructions, songs, recordings. For YEARS I had tried
to get him
> interested in music, including teaching them how to read music
(nominally)
> and when I finally let go, he did it himself!
>
> Like I mentioned, he never wanted to read. He'd read what he
was "made" to
> read to do his schoolwork, but that was it. When I let go,
suddenly he's
> finding books he can't set down. Yesterday, he was helping my
husband with
> stuff around here, and suddenly stopped and said, "Dad, can we
take a break and
> finish this later? I have to get to the library before they
close so I can
> get the next book." (in the series he's reading.)
>
> He has started working out with weights, and has a "plan" that he
goes by,
> and he's stuck with it pretty well. He checks out cool videos at
the library
> (National Geographic, etc) and actually enjoys them. We have
lots of cool
> discusstions about things.
>
> His computer knowledge has increased, as he's helped my husband
set up our
> household system (we have 5 computers hooked up). He's learning
the DVD
> making program, and him and another son have plans of making a
movie.
>
> It's like, we spent all that time before fretting and fussing
over
> curriculum, gotta get it done, oh crap, it's getting late in the
day, hurry up and get
> your schoolwork done! Oh no, now it's getting late in the year,
we still
> have all these books we have to finish...come on, we have to sit
down and get
> this done!
>
> All of our lives have improved since I just let go. I don't "do
> nothing"...I still offer a lot of stuff to the kids. If I see a
book I think one child
> might like, I'll buy it (cartoon drawing, manga, water painting,
etc.) I
> pick up a lot of movies at the library, and I send them a lot of
stuff I find on
> the internet that I think they might like. We go to the library
and get a
> TON of books each week. Sometimes they only look at them,
sometimes they read
> a few, sometimes they spend hours reading, and sometimes they
barely touch
> them, but THEY picked them out, they are books that interest
THEM. And I'll
> pick out an art book (one of those huge coffee table types) each
week, and a
> few science type books, and they can look at them, or not. I
spend a lot of
> time with them, but the time isn't spent stressing out over what
they know and
> don't know.
>
> Nancy B.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Sandra Dodd

On Jan 30, 2006, at 5:32 AM, windlesara wrote:

> -=-Your family truly sounds amazing! My son wants to work really
> bad to earn money to use to do things with that he likes, do you
> think that can be incorporated into the learning experience in terms
> of using it on his transcript? He's only 14 so I'm just not sure
> about working.-=-


Sure! Not sure he will need "a transcript," but what he learns
working and dealing with money is not "time out" from unschooling.

My oldest (now 19) worked in a gaming shop from the time he turned
14. He had been hanging out there and volunteering to help pick
chairs up after gaming sessions, and helped with store bulk-mailings
and such, and when they asked how old he was and he said "thirteen,"
he said the boss looked disappointed. I told him "Probably because
they want to hire you." Sure enough, the next time he went in the
owner asked, "When's your birthday?"

I wrote a letter explaining that state law here is flexible about
homeschooling schedules, and so they could deal with the child labor
laws easily. Home schoolers declare their own "school days," so the
laws about how late the night before or how early in the daytime one
could work could be flexible. They pretty much had him work the same
kinds of hours as if he had been in school, I think to keep the peace
(because the store is in the corner of strip mall surrounded 270
degrees by a high school, though all their customers knew Kirby was
homeschooled).

Kirby worked there for four years, and now works at a pizza
restaurant. Both can go on a resume, and the things he learned at
the gaming shop certainly "counted" toward his life learning. If
you're in a position of needing to note what he's "studied," you
could take elements of what he will do at jobs (volunteer or paid) in
the future into account, for sure.

Sandra

Pamela Sorooshian

On Jan 30, 2006, at 4:32 AM, windlesara wrote:

>
> How awesome, it almost sounds like a fairy tale to someone like me
> like i'm on the outside looking in. I want this so bad i can taste
> it. Your family truly sounds amazing! My son wants to work really
> bad to earn money to use to do things with that he likes, do you
> think that can be incorporated into the learning experience in terms
> of using it on his transcript? He's only 14 so I'm just not sure
> about working


Support his interests - you don't need to question them - it is
enough that that is what he wants to do.

My oldest daughter worked starting at 15 - worked full time for a
couple of years. She learned so much that it would take me hours to
write it all down. But just this morning, she was reading a book for
a class in management that she's taking at her college and she got
all excited and read several pages of the book to me and then
reminded me about something that had happened at the place she'd
worked when she was 15 and talked about how that demonstrated exactly
what her book was talking about. ONE of the things she learned a lot
about was management - she wasn't "management" - she was one of the
managed. But she paid attention and thought about how they handled
things and people - what was well done, what could have been better,
how it could have been better (or worse). Having had that experience
certainly makes the classroom learning about management make a lot
more sense.

Working at 14 is awesome - I think it is really one of the best
things a 14 yo can do, if he's interested. Help him find work that
interests him. My 14 year old works (unpaid) at the library. She's
been working there every week for almost 2 years. Again, I could
probably write for hours about all that she's learned by working.
(She's not paid - but has regular scheduled work hours and a boss
and a job description - just like any other employee. I'm hoping that
they'll decide to start paying her, eventually.)

Do you have to worry about a transcript?

If so - you really really should consider getting Wes Beach's book
which has a lot about making transcripts based on all kinds of varied
experiences - a bit is California specific, but not the transcript
parts:

Opportunities After "High School": Thoughts, Documents, Resources, by
Wes Beach. Includes a number of transcripts Beach has written for his
students; these transcripts can be used as models for homeschool
transcripts. Also discusses community college enrollment; preparing
for, choosing, and applying to four-year colleges; and opportunities
other than formal academic study. A number of resource books are
described. Available from HSC: $10 to HSC Book Order, 5520 Old San
Jose Road, Soquel, CA 95073.

-pam




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jenstarc4

My son wants to work really
> bad to earn money to use to do things with that he likes, do you
> think that can be incorporated into the learning experience in terms
> of using it on his transcript? He's only 14 so I'm just not sure
> about working.
>
>

Are you kidding?!!!! My dd is 11 and counting down the years, months,
weeks, and days before she can get her own job! She already does
stuff that she can earn money, but she wants a real paycheck, with
real money for herself! I don't know about where you live, but 14 is
the magic working age here!

I wouldn't incorporate a job into is learning experience. Just let
him get a job and have it be what it is, a JOB. You can put a job on
resumes. Resumes hold more weight than a school transcript. School
transcripts only hold weight in schools. One generally goes to school
to learn so they can get a good job. Once out of school no one ever
asks to see your school transcripts once you are out of school, people
want to see what jobs you have done and what kind of experience you
have, and that you have gone to school or that you have some general
knowledge of the type of job you are applying to.

Jenny