deedeanne

I have been following the thread about one family member not wanting
to go somewhere with great interest. There have been alot of great
things shared, which I printed out for myself to re-read and re-read
as needed.<g>

I have a question for you all about what to do when you have an
older child that chooses to go somewhere with you that he really
doesn't want to go, because he would rather not stay home alone. My
son is 14yo and often does this. He's not always interested in doing
what my 9yo and 6yo want to do, but then he doesn't have any idea
what he wants to do either. I have printed up lists of ideas from
the discussions here, and some of our own ideas, and I suggest them
to him, and he usually says no. My younger ones are usually saying
yes, but can be swayed by older son's no too. The problem comes when
older son comes with us and then will say, "I didn't even want to
come." He complains and sometimes starts teasing the other kids,
just giving them hard time.

I am the only parent home most days, so I can't split the kids up,
but on the occasions I can, I have taken my older son out by
himself. We also go to playgrounds with skateparks often, so he can
do what he likes and the younger ones have stuff that they like too.
If my older son wants to go to a skateshop, I bring him and the
younger ones have to go along with us.

He's old enough to be alone, but I feel guilty leaving him alone,
because we're out having fun, and I don't think he's having fun at
home. He's bored at home. He's said as much. But then, on the other
hand, he doesn't really want to do whatever the younger ones want
either, kwim?

I don't know if I explained the situation well enough, but there it
is. What do you think?

Deanne in FL