Ann

The other day I was visiting with some friends and we were sharing what we did to celebrate the holidays. I buy my kids a LOT of gifts. I enjoy it, I do it because I want to and we can afford it. Prior to now, I felt bad about that, like I was somehow doing something wrong because so many people talk about how the holidays are too commercialized. In this visit, several of my friends talked about how they really try to limit stuff. Most felt that 'less is more', and that 'getting away from all the commercialism' should be the goal. For a long time I bought into the idea that this should be MY goal as well. So every year I would go shopping for my kids and 'fail' because I love to buy them stuff, and I'm one of these people that one idea easily leads to several ideas. I would then internally scold myself for getting them 'too much' as perceived by the measurement of others of course.
This year after visiting with my friends, I began my annual internal beating myself up for buying my kids so much, when I suddenly said STOP, that's puritanical thinking and I don't have to buy into it. It is OK for me to enjoy shopping for my kids. It is great for my kids to have a dozen or so packages to open. I enjoy it, giving them stuff makes the holiday fun for me (and them:0). It is reading the unschooling lists that freed me from this. Next year I'm going to acknowledge ahead of time that I'm going to spend a small fortune on my kids, that I'm going to enjoy it and at my house, where gifts are concerned 'less will never be more'. Abundance and joy will rule the day. I will proudly proclaim this to be my holiday sentiment.
I have been unschooling for a long time, but only moving to radical unschooling in the past year or so. I never dreamed how much joy and freedom it would bring not only to my kids, but to me.

Ann


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Wendy S.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm with you. We have a *blast* giving
and getting gifts. It *is* an affirmation of abundance and joy for
us on that day. It's what works for our family and makes it really
fun for us!! When people have talked about the commercialism thing,
I've sat guiltily quiet knowing that a small fortune in gifts would
be given and that my daughter thoroughly enjoys it like this. Also,
I know that none of it goes to waste with her, she truly plays with
*everything* she owns...it goes in cycles.

So our family is like yours. We *love* the gifts at Christmas. So
thank you again!

Wendy S. in GA
http://www.trustbirth.com

"Motherhood: 24/7 on the frontlines of humanity. Are you man enough
to try it?" Maria Shriver


On Jan 8, 2006, at 12:26 PM, Ann wrote:

> The other day I was visiting with some friends and we were sharing
> what we did to celebrate the holidays. I buy my kids a LOT of
> gifts. I enjoy it, I do it because I want to and we can afford
> it. Prior to now, I felt bad about that, like I was somehow doing
> something wrong because so many people talk about how the holidays
> are too commercialized. In this visit, several of my friends
> talked about how they really try to limit stuff. Most felt that
> 'less is more', and that 'getting away from all the commercialism'
> should be the goal. For a long time I bought into the idea that
> this should be MY goal as well. So every year I would go shopping
> for my kids and 'fail' because I love to buy them stuff, and I'm
> one of these people that one idea easily leads to several ideas. I
> would then internally scold myself for getting them 'too much' as
> perceived by the measurement of others of course.
> This year after visiting with my friends, I began my annual
> internal beating myself up for buying my kids so much, when I
> suddenly said STOP, that's puritanical thinking and I don't have to
> buy into it. It is OK for me to enjoy shopping for my kids. It is
> great for my kids to have a dozen or so packages to open. I enjoy
> it, giving them stuff makes the holiday fun for me (and them:0).
> It is reading the unschooling lists that freed me from this. Next
> year I'm going to acknowledge ahead of time that I'm going to spend
> a small fortune on my kids, that I'm going to enjoy it and at my
> house, where gifts are concerned 'less will never be more'.
> Abundance and joy will rule the day. I will proudly proclaim this
> to be my holiday sentiment.
> I have been unschooling for a long time, but only moving to
> radical unschooling in the past year or so. I never dreamed how
> much joy and freedom it would bring not only to my kids, but to me.
>
> Ann



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[email protected]

In a message dated 1/8/2006 12:54:01 PM Eastern Standard Time,
ann_mv05@... writes:

> Most felt that 'less is more', and that 'getting away from all the
> commercialism' should be the goal. For a long time I bought into the idea that this
> should be MY goal as well.

I did, too. I think my perception was held in place by my mother's voice
saying, "If you give them too much, they won't appreiciate it". If I lost or broke
an item of mine that was bought by someone else, it was a "lesson on how to
treat my things." and was lost forever. I never got anything replaced. If it
had been a gift, it was a longer, more "you don't appreciate" lecture which had
reminder echos for days after-sometimes weeks. For the first 3 years of our 6
year old's life, I was very stressed about this and how he just didn't care
about toys that he had broken (of his own). I STILL get extremely upset when
some *thing* of mine gets "ruined" in some way... I can't seem to help myself. I
don't know how the realisation came to me, but it was sudden when I realised
that Wyl was right and I should leave well enough alone! He is *not*
materialistic! Having limited things that I *had* to take care of or they were gone
forever made me so aware of things and *having* MY things! Getting Wyl things he
wanted and replacing what we could when something got lost or damaged has
helped Wyl appreciate people and care less about *stuff*! Now, its even more fun
to shop for him AND his little brother!! :~) Also, thanks to this group! :~)

I am still moving toward radical unschooling, but more and more I can look
around, look back and see progress.

Peace,
Sang


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[email protected]

Oooh! And I forgot to mention generous! Wyl is always looking for ways to
give things to others! :~)

Peace,
Sang


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Ann

Sang,

This is also something I have noticed about my kids, if another child admires something they have, they are apt to give it to them. They also love to buy presents. When they are choosing gifts to take to a friends' birthday party they really try to think of something very special. I no longer think that lots of presents teaches a lack of appreciation; I believe it models the joy of giving.

Ann

Sanguinegirl83@... wrote:
Oooh! And I forgot to mention generous! Wyl is always looking for ways to
give things to others! :~)

Peace,
Sang


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