Ren Allen

"I believe that if you bring your children up knowing quality they will
recognize "ugly" in an instant! So far that is true."

I'm trying not to get offended by this statement....trying really hard.

My boys LOVE some violent video games, hard-core music, some really
scary movies, they adore witty, crass humor, they swear and their some
of the most interesting, fun people I know.

If they only watched things *I* thought weren't "ugly", that would be
limiting their world. I've learned to appreciate the intricacies of
crass humor, the very intelligent writing behind it.

They were surrounded by Enya, Mozart and Bach as young children...they
love Metallica, System of a Down and Disturbed.
They were surrounded with "lovely" food, made from scratch, super
healthy vegetarian and all...they love potato chips, soda and
twizzlers.
They were surrounded by little or NO television, and only PBS or
other "quality" kids shows...they love Futurama, Family Guy and movies
like The Grudge.
They were surrounded by very little cussing (their Dad doesn't cuss at
all, I used a few words, very rarely) and Trevor tends to use some
pretty colorful language...though he does know when to put it on
hold.:) He walked outside today and came back in saying "It's FECKING
cold out there!!"

So....I don't know what your version of "ugly" is, but I have a
feeling some of our tastes are in that category.
To me, "ugly" is how people treat each other, not their musical
tastes, use of swear words or what they watch.

If my boys were mean to me, or hurtful to their family, that would
fall under "ugly".
They are kind and condiderate human beings for the most part (I'd love
their dishes to find the sink one day...but that's another issue) and
we all like being around each other. I guess my definition of "ugly"
is just different.

Ren

Su Penn

When I was a teenager, I was a punk rocker. At the same time I was
loving the Sex Pistols, the Breeders, and the Circle Jerks, I was
playing Beethoven, Debussy, and Clementi in piano lessons, and loving
that too, and playing piano for a school choir that did corny old
show tunes ("oh, what a beautiful moo-o-orning!"). I could see the
beauty in all these things. I still can.

When I was a young radical feminist, I never watched action movies
because I knew they were sexist, violent, evil, and so on. All my
teachers and role models had told me so. One night when I was about
22 I came home to my parents' house after working a late shift at a
restaurant. I was too wired to sleep, so I turned on the TV. The only
thing on was a late-night re-run of "Die Hard." I watched it. I loved
it. It changed my life! Not only did I love action movies for years
(now I'm swinging the other way and don't enjoy the realistic
violence anymore), but I learned to stop judging things without
exposing myself to them.

Once upon a time when I kept a blog I wrote about my days with punks:
http://www.supenn.com/genius/000107.html

I live in a college town. Sometimes when I'm down near campus I like
to watch the young men go by and wonder which one of them my son
might grow up to be: The guy with the safety pin through his nose?
The guy with the fraternity tattoo? The guy holding hands with the
other guy, god bless their queer little hearts? The guy with no
fashion sense and a book about the history of the vacuum tube? The
one with the t-shirt that says, "Come to MSU--it's a riot!" with a
picture of a couch burning in the street? I am very fondly disposed
towards them all. It is perhaps the most important parenting goal I
have to see the beauty in whatever young men my boys grow up to be.

Su

On Dec 7, 2005, at 11:32 AM, Ren Allen wrote:

> "I believe that if you bring your children up knowing quality they
> will
> recognize "ugly" in an instant! So far that is true."