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In a message dated 11/27/2005 12:25:57 PM Eastern Standard Time,
elainegh8@... writes:

If there wasn't a bedtime for adults only a bedtime for children I
wouldn't go there in the first place. I doubt we'd go to stay in most
peoples houses though, too many illogical rules.

BWs Elaine

> Still, at other people's houses there probably is bedtime, and they
> respect that.

I'm guessing from my experiences that grandparents, for the most part,
aren't used to having lots of people in their home and the loudness (even if to us
it's "normal" and not really loud at all) and all the extra activity is
enough for them to want a quiet, not moving around time near the time they go to

I spent years dodging around the rules of the grandparents, but only the
things that were easy and respectful, not making them eat those horrible bright
red honnee weenees "that ALL kids love" was not going to happen.

When it became more of an issue, we got a hotel, that helped ease a lot of
times with grandparents. They weren't constantly bombarded with all kinds of
stimulation and activity that they weren't used to (no matter how normal or
exemplary we think it is).

EVERYONE got a break and we were able to come together for meals or other
activities that made things much more pleasant for everyone.

I also found that IF you aren't actually "living" in their house but merely
there for one activity or the other (such as a shared meal or visiting time)
grandparents are way less likely to feel they can demand certain things from
the children.

That won't solve all the worlds ill tempered grandparents and just downright
think they know best ones either, but it will help to make things a bit more
peaceful and the children almost always have a much much better time.
Hotels are an adventure all in themselves, so having to "put up with the old
people" if that's how it is, seems much better in a lot of ways.


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