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In a message dated 11/22/05 7:47:21 PM, barb.lundgren@... writes:

> Certainly true, and will always be true... but things can change, sometimes
> in ways we cannot predict, given outside circumstances, mental illnesses,
> new influences, etc.  Who is to say?  I am confident I can adapt to
> anything, and offer a safe haven for my kids under all circumstances, but I
> have seen enough and read enough biography and autobiography over the years
> to know that shit happens.
Have you read much biography and autobiography of unschoolers or people whose
childhoods weren't controlled and limited? Shit happens, but it doesn't
turn a safe, peaceful home into a controlling, disrespectful-of-children home all
of a sudden.

I don't know which part of Ren's post you thought was certainly true and
always would be true, because the rest of your writing seems to suggest there are
no solid principles to depend on.

New influences won't keep my children from using good judgment after their
whole lifetimes of making decisions based on the best of what they know at the
time. If they go nuts and join cults, they still won't have to run away.
They can say "I'm going to join this cult. See ya."

In the absence of controls, how could a child rebell? In the absence of
being kept in the house, given freedom to go on road trips when they want to, and
to stay overnight with friends when they want to, what would running away

Maybe if Keith or I left or died and the other married someone creepy and
controlling, that might be worth running away from. That would mean that the
contract had changed, though, the nest was broken, and the child wasn't really
leaving his home, but leaving the home of the new stepparent.


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