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In a message dated 7/19/05 6:37:58 AM, maggioncalda@... writes:

> At the same time I was furious with
> her parents for sending her here under false pretenses and for not
> letting us know what was going on.

You were a frees summer camp.
You were a longterm babysitter.

Did they give you any money with this, to buy food or ANYthing?

-=- I put my arms around her and said, "I'm sorry.  I
didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

POOR THING, she had been totally lied to and about, as though she weren't a
sentient being, as though she'd never find out, or ask, or care, or figure out.
How will she ever trust her parents again?

-=-We got in the car and I tried to talk with her more about what she
had just said.  (What a revelation!)  But she took out her iPod and
put the earphones in--ending any conversation we could have had.

She probably was too embarrassed to discuss it further, especially in front
of the younger girls.

This story is sad but enlightening, and I hope Noelle's time with you makes a
difference in the way she parents any children she might have. At least
she was able to articulate her frustration. That's pretty good for a kid with
that much reason to be in denial and confusion.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

K Krejci

Linda, I think you gave Noelle the best chance ever to
see there is another way. Don't underestimate the
effect you have had, maybe even on her parents a

How heartbreaking to see someone so discounted, so
dismissed. Many of us grew up the same way and that
daily struggle to act from love, not habit, can
sometimes be overwhelming. But think how much better
the whole world would be if everyone at least tried!

I'd like to give her a hug, too. I'm sure you helped
her more than you know.


It's Good 2 B Dog Nutz!

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At least
> she was able to articulate her frustration. That's pretty good
for a kid with
> that much reason to be in denial and confusion.
> Sandra

Yes, Sandra, I was amazed that Noelle can still think, at times, so
clearly and so well. It was encouraging to see her make these
connections and express her feelings.

One thing she told me sticks with me, she said, "I'm not easygoing.
My brother is but not me. I'm difficult and I like things the way I
want them."

My older daughter Sarah is kind of like that so we made that
comparison. What I really think is that Noelle's stubborn nature
and her inability to be easygoing will help her get through the next
4 years or until she leaves home. Her true self just seems to
scream out even when she is forced to do something she doesn't want
to do. And her parents don't seem to have a clue as to how to
celebrate and encourage her the way she is.

And no, they didn't give me any money--except to pay us back for the
fee the airline charged to change her flight.