Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Question about interacting with 'regular' kids a...
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/13/2005 1:02:20 PM Central Standard Time,
kraekrej@... writes:
I will try to keep your examples in mind and hope I
can come up with something to preserve Ellis'
friendship without sacrificing his dignity.
~~~
I'm afraid I wouldn't be so cheery, if someone snapped at my son like that.
I'd look disapprovingly at her if it was her kid she was snapping at. But
my son? No. I'd probably put myself between him and her, look her in the eye
and say, "He's getting them." In case that wasn't enough, I'd say, "don't
talk to my son like that." I might say, "please", if I were in the mood.
(Is this considered "violent communication"? Good.)
She's using you for childcare. She's not going to drop you like a rock
because you set so small a boundary. She'll rationalize it some way or another
just so she can be rid of her kid when she wants.
Karen
www.badchair.net
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kraekrej@... writes:
I will try to keep your examples in mind and hope I
can come up with something to preserve Ellis'
friendship without sacrificing his dignity.
~~~
I'm afraid I wouldn't be so cheery, if someone snapped at my son like that.
I'd look disapprovingly at her if it was her kid she was snapping at. But
my son? No. I'd probably put myself between him and her, look her in the eye
and say, "He's getting them." In case that wasn't enough, I'd say, "don't
talk to my son like that." I might say, "please", if I were in the mood.
(Is this considered "violent communication"? Good.)
She's using you for childcare. She's not going to drop you like a rock
because you set so small a boundary. She'll rationalize it some way or another
just so she can be rid of her kid when she wants.
Karen
www.badchair.net
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On Jul 14, 2005, at 5:42 AM, tuckervill2@... wrote:
Long-term, the solution is to encourage friendships with kids whose
parents are sane, aren't after your husband, and don't bark at their
children.
-pam
> She's using you for childcare. She's not going to drop you like aI'd ease my kid out of the relationship.
> rock
> because you set so small a boundary. She'll rationalize it some way
> or another
> just so she can be rid of her kid when she wants.
Long-term, the solution is to encourage friendships with kids whose
parents are sane, aren't after your husband, and don't bark at their
children.
-pam
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/14/2005 10:02:04 AM Central Standard Time,
pamsoroosh@... writes:
She's using you for childcare. She's not going to drop you like a
Long-term, the solution is to encourage friendships with kids whose
parents are sane, aren't after your husband, and don't bark at their
children.
~~~
Yeah, I probably would, too, eventually. Divorce really makes people act
crazy sometimes, but it's no excuse for putting the eye on someone else's
husband. I'd probably worry more about her being attracted to my husband than the
way she treated my kid. I can keep my kid away from her. I'm not sure I
could keep her away from my husband.
Karen
www.badchair.net
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pamsoroosh@... writes:
She's using you for childcare. She's not going to drop you like a
> rockI'd ease my kid out of the relationship.
> because you set so small a boundary. She'll rationalize it some way
> or another
> just so she can be rid of her kid when she wants.
Long-term, the solution is to encourage friendships with kids whose
parents are sane, aren't after your husband, and don't bark at their
children.
~~~
Yeah, I probably would, too, eventually. Divorce really makes people act
crazy sometimes, but it's no excuse for putting the eye on someone else's
husband. I'd probably worry more about her being attracted to my husband than the
way she treated my kid. I can keep my kid away from her. I'm not sure I
could keep her away from my husband.
Karen
www.badchair.net
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
K Krejci
--- tuckervill2@... wrote:
marriage ended (it was lousy which guaranteed the
performance is great), a dear friend told me that I
would be insane for a minimum of two years. I
immediately dismissed him as a nutbar. Two years
later, I came out of the divorce-induced madness
older, wiser and absolutely amazed and sometimes
appalled at the things I did and said during that
time.
I have very clearly stated to my husband what I see as
potential problems. He, after 10 years, doesn't
realize he's adorable. I'm not worried about his
reaction to any potential advances. He thinks she's
creepy.
I guess we're both just wanting Ellis to have the
opportunity to have a friend. Our neighbors are all
retired and he loves them but there's a kid shortage.
And when you eliminate all the abusive and mean ones,
the pool is really shallow. He's just not a
run-and-scream type of kid for the most part. When he
gets in those social situations, he shuts down or he
tries to interact and has no idea he's being made the
butt of jokes or kid-cruelty.
Helping him navigate the social waters is one of our
biggest challenges. I guess we try to manipulate the
winds as much as possible so his sails stay full.
<end seasickness-inducing metaphor>
Kap'n Kathy - arrrgh
It's Good 2 B Dog Nutz!
http://www.good2bdognutz.com
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>Preachin' to the choir ;) When my dress rehearsal
> Yeah, I probably would, too, eventually. Divorce
> really makes people act
> crazy sometimes, but it's no excuse for putting the
> eye on someone else's
> husband. I'd probably worry more about her being
> attracted to my husband than the
> way she treated my kid. I can keep my kid away from
> her. I'm not sure I
> could keep her away from my husband.
marriage ended (it was lousy which guaranteed the
performance is great), a dear friend told me that I
would be insane for a minimum of two years. I
immediately dismissed him as a nutbar. Two years
later, I came out of the divorce-induced madness
older, wiser and absolutely amazed and sometimes
appalled at the things I did and said during that
time.
I have very clearly stated to my husband what I see as
potential problems. He, after 10 years, doesn't
realize he's adorable. I'm not worried about his
reaction to any potential advances. He thinks she's
creepy.
I guess we're both just wanting Ellis to have the
opportunity to have a friend. Our neighbors are all
retired and he loves them but there's a kid shortage.
And when you eliminate all the abusive and mean ones,
the pool is really shallow. He's just not a
run-and-scream type of kid for the most part. When he
gets in those social situations, he shuts down or he
tries to interact and has no idea he's being made the
butt of jokes or kid-cruelty.
Helping him navigate the social waters is one of our
biggest challenges. I guess we try to manipulate the
winds as much as possible so his sails stay full.
<end seasickness-inducing metaphor>
Kap'n Kathy - arrrgh
It's Good 2 B Dog Nutz!
http://www.good2bdognutz.com
__________________________________________________
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