[email protected]

Anyone want to add to this list? <g>

~Kelly




The Dumbest Thing You've Ever Heard about Home Schooling

The Dumbest Thing YOU Ever Heard, Part 1 By Mike Farris
My recent column requesting "dumb statements" people had made
regarding home schooling yielded a bumper crop of lols (laugh out
loud) and a few rofls rolling on the floor laughing). I got a
great number of wonderful entries -- far too many to publish.
Today's column is the first of two. Here are half of the top
entries, this week's winners, and my comments interspersed. Here
come the comments.

From Kara Becker:
Our realtor learned we were home schooling. She commented about
the lack of social development that would result, but tried to still
be positive by adding, "Even though they couldn't be realtors, thank
goodness that there are lot of jobs out there which don't require
people skills."
Mike: Thank you, Dale Carnegie (author of "How to Win Friends and
Influence People").

From the Austin family:
A stranger said, "Don't you think your children are being deprived of
the thrill of buying school supplies at Wal-Mart when everyone else
does?"

From Angela Blackman:
A friend who is a paralegal at a very busy law firm said, "How can
you ever think you can keep up with having four kids at home?
Don't they just run you off your feet? I'd be exhausted by the end
of the day."
Mike: It is a proven fact that assisting two lawyers is the
equivalent of having six kids or else tending a dozen snakes --
depending on the age of the lawyer.

From Pamela Minerd:
My father asked, "Will I have to bail you out of jail for this?"

From MDT:
My neighbor was picking my brain about getting the public school to
challenge her first grader. She was concerned because my first
grader was already reading while her son of the same age was just
learning the sounds of letters. Nonetheless she challenged my home
schooling saying my son would still miss out. "It's important for
him socially too. He needs to be offered drugs so he can turn them
down."

From Marci Zinn:
A family member said, "You are just doing this for yourself so you
won't have to buy the kids any school clothes."
Mike: Working 8+ hours a day for 12+ years just smacks of selfishness
if you ask me.

From MDT:
A friend asked, "Do you use books?"

From Rose Mary Coffey:
When my husband told his mother that we were going to home school,
she replied, "What makes Rose Mary think she has the right to teach
my grandchildren?"
Mike: It's in the same clause of the Constitution which gives
grandmas the right to feed cookies and candy to the grandkids an
hour before being sent home for dinner.

From the Karoutsos Family:
My six year old son was very fidgety in the dentist's chair.
Afterwards the dentist spoke to me and told me of his fidgetiness
and said, "Your son did not sit still. It is possibly due to the
fact that you home school him."
Mike: I guess he thought that dentistry was so boring he would branch
out into child psychology.

From Pam Hynes:
I told an old friend from high school how my son was able to progress
in each subject at his own rate. She earnestly replied, "What if he
learns it all before he finishes high school?"

From the Austin family:
A female public school teacher said, "Your son will turn out to be
much too feminine or gay because you home school him. Being with
his mother so much is not good for boys."
Mike: I guess that spending ages 5 through 12 with female public
school teachers would be better.

From Laurie Winkelmann:
I took my daughter to a podiatrist who specialized in treating
plantar warts. I asked how children contracted these warts. He
told me that they often come from locker rooms or swimming pools.
When I told him that since we home school it wouldn't be a locker
room, but we do take a swimming class, he replied, "Yup, home
schooling, that certainly explains it."
Mike: Sounds like someone needs to breath a little fresh air between
foot examinations.

From Dawn Howey:
A Christian friend, "God didn't homeschool Jesus, He sent Him away
to school."
Mike: I think the friend needs to be sent away to Sunday School.

From Susan Shay:
"Won't they miss out on learning a lot of important stuff? I mean,
how will they ever learn to stand in line?" (Similar statements
were made to Gita Schmitz and Kathi Kearney. All three get tapes.)
Mike: Thank goodness for the rigorous standards of Goals 2000.

From Tracy Pina:
An acquaintance said, "Every kid has to get beat up a few times in
public school or they won't be able to cope in the real world."
Mike: Sticks and stones will break my bones or else I won't be well
rounded.

From Clarence and Barbara Hawkins:
A home school family in our town took their school days off in the
middle of the week to match the father's job schedule. Some nosey
neighbors had the family investigated for home schooling on Saturday!
Mike: Reminds me of the social services case I had in Alabama where a
mother was hotlined for allowing her children to read books in the
back of the van while she drove around town.

From MDT:
A friend said, "MY child is being a light in a dark place, but I
guess SOME children are not able to do that."
Mike: With that much condescension that lady probably fogs up her
own glasses.

From Michelle Nichols:
A woman asked a home school friend of mine, "If you don't send your
children to school, who is going to teach them their morals?"
Mike: Yeah, like the moral necessity of beating up other kids on the
playground if we are to believe another comment we read.

From Barb Palmer:
Our girls' friends from the neighborhood ask, "If you are home
schooled, who teaches you?"

From the Austin family:
A friend said, "Won't your children miss the experience of the goods
and bads of dating people from other cultural and religious
backgrounds?"

From Char Brady:
A mother from my daughter's former public school class said, "If you
were more involved in your child's education, then you wouldn't have
to home school."

From MDT:
An acquaintance asked, "How can you possibly give them enough
one-on-one time?"
Mike (stolen from MDT): I guess the kids would get more one-on-one
time in a classroom of 30.

From "Ozchick":
A friend asked me what we were going to do during a public school
snow day. I replied that we were going ahead with school. The friend
replied, "That's silly. Why make your kids work since no one will be
around to grade their papers?" Not to be outdone, that same friend
heard me describe how I was teaching my children baking from the
Colonial period. A recent project was making a cake from
scratch. She replied, "Where can I buy a box of scratch,
I've never heard of it?"

From Nancy Persaud
(although this comment is not within the rules of the contest as
Nancy recognized, it is too good to pass up): From a 5th grade
geography textbook, "Maps are smaller than the areas they represent."

From Dana Estes:
A friend said, "I could NEVER home school my children. I can't
imagine spending that much time with them." She is a public school
teacher.

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/2/2005 7:16:28 AM Central Standard Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:

My father asked, "Will I have to bail you out of jail for this?"



~~~

I really like this. I'll have find ways to work this question into
conversation.

Karen

www.badchair.net


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Julie Bogart

My kids are always asked if they do their "school" in their pajamas.
What cracks me up about this question is that the homeschooled kids I
know are adamant that they *don't" do "school" in *pajamas* while my
kids say...

We don't do school. :)

Julie

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/2/05 6:16:28 AM, kbcdlovejo@... writes:

<< From Dawn Howey:
A Christian friend, "God didn't homeschool Jesus, He sent Him away
to school."
Mike: I think the friend needs to be sent away to Sunday School. >>

Somewhere I read a retelling (prose for kids, but early-20th-century kids) of
the visit to the Temple, and it was told like a lot of families were on a
field trip and it said something like "Jesus had to go to school like you do," or
some such.

So if she read it in a Bible story book, it must be true.

Sandra

AlysonRR

The first thing each of our neighbors have asked when first visiting our
home for a playdate is "So where do you do school? Is this your
classroom?"

We don't do school. The world is our classroom. :-)

Alyson


My kids are always asked if they do their "school" in their pajamas.
What cracks me up about this question is that the homeschooled kids I
know are adamant that they *don't" do "school" in *pajamas* while my
kids say...

We don't do school. :)

Julie




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Hill

**

>From Michelle Nichols:
A woman asked a home school friend of mine, "If you don't send your
children to school, who is going to teach them their morals?"
Mike: Yeah, like the moral necessity of beating up other kids on the
playground if we are to believe another comment we read.

>From Barb Palmer:
Our girls' friends from the neighborhood ask, "If you are home
schooled, who teaches you?"**


I'm still blinking the sleep from my eyes, so (in context), I read the bottom one as "If you are homeschooled, who TEASES you?" <eg>

Betsy

Linda

I'm new here...and just had to chime in for this...When I informed my daughters grade school principal that I was removing her to homeschool...her only response was....."Oh...now she won't be able to participate in fund raisers !" HUH! Linda





kbcdlovejo@... writes:

My father asked, "Will I have to bail you out of jail for this?"



~~~

I really like this. I'll have find ways to work this question into
conversation.

Karen



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Neha Chitale

I have one i think was pretty dumb...it went like this:
Friend: So you are going to homeschool
me: yup
Fr: what if you mess up?
me: schools can do that too.
Fr: yeah, but if they messed up, at least it wouldn't be your fault
me: so you are saying that it is ok to have a messed up kid, just as long as it isnt your fault?
Fr: Yeah


HMMMMM!@?#!!!



Linda <linsuca@...> wrote:
I'm new here...and just had to chime in for this...When I informed my daughters grade school principal that I was removing her to homeschool...her only response was....."Oh...now she won't be able to participate in fund raisers !" HUH! Linda





kbcdlovejo@... writes:

My father asked, "Will I have to bail you out of jail for this?"



~~~

I really like this. I'll have find ways to work this question into
conversation.

Karen



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Pam Sorooshian

On Jun 2, 2005, at 7:59 AM, Linda wrote:

> I'm new here...and just had to chime in for this...When I informed my
> daughters grade school principal that I was removing her to
> homeschool...her only response was....."Oh...now she won't be able to
> participate in fund raisers !" HUH! Linda

We have a new family at our park day group. She just took her two kids
out of elementary school a couple of weeks ago (her reason was because
she didn't feel her children were physically safe at the school. She
was PTA president and in charge of all kinds of fundraising. One of the
things the principal said to her was: "You're still going to finish out
the year running the fundraisers, right?"

-pam

>

Marjorie Kirk

Anyone want to add to this list? <g>

~Kelly


How about this one. While talking to another homeschooling mom about how my
friend and I both unschool, she said: "I thought about
unschooling.........but my kids are just *so smart*." We were both
speechless! Later, I realized that the correct response would have been,
"Lucky for us that our kids are dumb as dirt! We just sit on the couch all
day watching Jerry Springer and eating Cheetos."

I never saw her again (not that I've been looking ;-0)

Marjorie

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/3/2005 7:14:51 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
mkirk@... writes:

she said: "I thought about
unschooling.........but my kids are just *so smart*." We were both
speechless! Later, I realized that the correct response would have been,
"Lucky for us that our kids are dumb as dirt! We just sit on the couch all
day watching Jerry Springer and eating Cheetos."

I never saw her again (not that I've been looking ;-0)



==================

OH MY GOSH.
I hope her kids are smarter conversationally than she is.
Golly.
Stunning.

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

soggyboysmom

--- In [email protected], "Marjorie Kirk"
<mkirk@c...> wrote:
>
>
>
> Anyone want to add to this list? <g>
>
> ~Kelly
>
>
> How about this one. While talking to another homeschooling mom
>about how my
> friend and I both unschool, she said: "I thought about
> unschooling.........but my kids are just *so smart*." We were both
> speechless! Later, I realized that the correct response would
>have been,
> "Lucky for us that our kids are dumb as dirt! We just sit on the
>couch all
> day watching Jerry Springer and eating Cheetos."
>
> I never saw her again (not that I've been looking ;-0)
>
> Marjorie
Reminds me of a friend of ours who, when DS was about 4, (and we
made no bones about it that we were homeschooling even then, so she
already knew that) said "you should have him tested. I'm sure he'd
get into a gifted and talented program" huh? I said "why? he's
already in a class by himself"

Oh wait that reminds me of another conversation with someone: her DD
and my DS are about the same age and in the same Bible class on
Sundays. She commented on how well behaved he was in class (in
contrast to some of the other little boys). I made some polite mom-
noise. Then she said "He'd probably do really well in school". I
said "well, in Bible class, sitting still and all is "playing
school" and he does what he wants there pretty much for an hour and
it's done. It's all just fun for him as something different. If he
had to sit and do that however many hours per day all week, he'd
probably be acting like the other kids." (I didn't go much into
detail on how much BS there is in school besides sitting quietly for
hours). Fortunately, we had planned, since the kids were on a lunch-
outing that day, for me and DH to have lunch with her and her DH and
I got to explain more and she sort-of got the general idea of
homeschooling (I didn't even mention 'unschooling' by name, but it
was there).

Pam Sorooshian

On Jun 3, 2005, at 6:13 AM, Marjorie Kirk wrote:

> "I thought about
> unschooling.........but my kids are just *so smart*." We were both
> speechless! Later, I realized that the correct response would have
> been,
> "Lucky for us that our kids are dumb as dirt! We just sit on the
> couch all
> day watching Jerry Springer and eating Cheetos."

OH OH - I've heard variations of this too, for years. People new to our
park day OFTEN seem to have this overwhelming need to convince us that
THEIR kid is too smart to just let him play in the park all day. They
don't have time for that because their SMART kid needs to spend his
time feeding his big brain. (Okay - nobody's ever said THAT, but that's
how it comes across.)

If they hang around long enough, and pay any attention at all to any of
the other kids, they discover that many of the kids are actually
brilliant. And it is the long long hours of free play that allowed them
to develop their incredible imaginations and self-motivation and all
that.

-pam

Robyn Coburn

<<<<Anyone want to add to this list? <g> >>>>>

Someone I don't see anymore, when Jayn was a big toddler and I told her of
our homeschooling plan, got a kind of knowing smirk on her face and said (to
my recollection) "I've known some home schooled kids that were OK, but some
of them have *social problems*". (Her emphasis with a kind of "you know what
I mean" tone - I didn't know).

Her baby was an infant at the time and she had called me to grumble about
the early academics her daycare center was pushing - he was almost a year
old.

Robyn L. Coburn



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K Krejci

Dear all,

I am involved in a cancer-related e-board and a woman
whose mother died 7 weeks ago has begun posting about
her 16 year-old son who has started cutting school. I
tried to apply a few unschooly principles to her
situation but wanted to be delicate about it, too,
respecting the fact that she is deeply grieving and is
not asking for (or likely to accept) a whole new way
of looking at life, school and her son.

She posted again, indicating that her son has said
he'd go to school then doesn't, locks himself in his
room and won't talk to her, and tells her that every
time she breaks down, it depresses him. I feel great
pain for this woman and even more for her son. She's
so mired in her misery, she can't look up high enough
to see him or his pain.

The reason I am coming to you is that several people
responded to her and I was truly horrified with the
advice that flowed. It all started with the
assumption (the same as hers) that school is necessary
or her son's future is wasted. It branched out to
suggestions of military school, drugs/drug therapy,
counseling, following him from class to class, and one
woman who said she goes through her kids' stuff -
cautiously so they don't know - to know what they're
doing and they think she's psychic or something.

My stomach was absolutely turning as I read one
response after another in this vein. So I turn to all
of you experienced folks. I am not looking to turn
this woman into an unschooler. I AM trying to find
ways to point out there are alternatives for her son,
that she is a mess and that school should be the least
of their worries as a family right now.

What ideas do you have that might help this woman?
Her last line in her post was "9 days left in the
school year and I'm not even sure I can get him to
attend a single class. But I do keep
trying........always trying."

Yikes.

Kathy

It's Good 2 B Dog Nutz!
http://www.good2bdognutz.com

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arcarpenter2003

--- In [email protected], K Krejci <kraekrej@y...>
wrote:
== "9 days left in the
> school year and I'm not even sure I can get him to
> attend a single class. But I do keep
> trying........always trying."==

It sounds like he's grieving and might be depressed. Those are
reasons enough to call the school and get him excused -- if there are
final exams he's supposed to take, she could work out an arrangement
for them. He's certainly not going to do well on them in his current
state. And besides the exams, there's nothing left but the goofing
off and turning in textbooks, y'know?

You might point out to her that in this time of his very real
emotional need, wouldn't it be wonderful if she could be on his side,
helping him get the space he needs to heal, instead of spending her
limited energy on being his adversary and working against him? He
would always remember that, I think.

I would also ask if she is seeking some gentle professional help for
him. (And does she have someone to talk to for herself?)

You could offer that if school really isn't meeting her son's needs,
she and her son might like _The Teenage Liberation Handbook_, -- maybe
that would open up a dialogue over the summer. Or even one of Grace
Llewellyn's other books: _Guerrilla Learning: How to Give Your Kids a
Real Education With or Without School_.

Peace,
Amy

Robyn Coburn

<<<<I am involved in a cancer-related e-board and a woman
whose mother died 7 weeks ago has begun posting about
her 16 year-old son who has started cutting school. >>>>

I am sure that parents of teens will have better suggestions for her and her
son than I will have - or better ways of expressing the idea of letting him
be and letting him also mourn.

However as someone whose mother died of cancer this last January I do have a
suggestion that helped me with my mourning. I felt very "blocked" and heavy
and was having trouble thinking or communicating clearly - either on line or
to the people in my life.

I found that I gained great sense of relief and release by sitting down for
a long uninterrupted session with my laptop and writing all I could remember
about my mother's life and my own childhood with her.

In my case it was a process of getting rid of a lot of negativity and
releasing anger and resentments. However recording joys and recollections of
closeness might also be as freeing.

For me it was a case of getting this stuff out of my head, and onto "paper",
so that my thinking was released - my brain ceased feeling like it was
stuffed with marshmallow the second I hit the final period. I was able to
start talking to others, and thinking logically again.

If this lady is mourning and is as blocked as I was, she may be relying on
old routines and conventions to help her feel secure. She may be simply
unable, yet, to accept new ideas of any sort. Her son needs his time to
mourn also, including being angry and going through a period of questioning
or feeling everything is "pointless".

If she is trying to force him to be "normal" because of her need for
normalcy, his mourning may last longer (like short circuiting deschooling
with "suggestions"). I think he will fight for autonomy because of his need
to mourn in his own way. However perhaps they both feel if they can just
hold on in their different ways until the summer break, that may provide an
anticipated and comfortable change in routine that will let them both mourn
fully.

Robyn L. Coburn

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christy_imnotred

> Anyone want to add to this list? <g>
>
> ~Kelly
>

I know this thread is old, but I heard a good one yesterday at park
day. I was talking to another homeschooling mom about unschooling, she
seemed interested. Once she seemed to really understand that I don't
teach Logan, she said, "If you aren't teaching him, what is the point
in being home with him?" HUH?

Christy

Dawn Adams

Christy wrote:
>I know this thread is old, but I heard a good one yesterday at park
>day. I was talking to another homeschooling mom about unschooling, she
>seemed interested. Once she seemed to really understand that I don't
>teach Logan, she said, "If you aren't teaching him, what is the point
>in being home with him?" HUH?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

LOL! Because they're sooo boring and such a chore to be around, eh?

Dawn (in NS)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]