Katy Jennings

I thought that I would update you on my recent drama. Nothing has happened!!!!
Now don't get me wrong, I am happy, but I spent 4 days doing the kind of cleaning that I hate (make it look good, if it is shoved out of the way that is ok, but it must look good. I hate that. I am one of those people who doesn't mind stuff on the floor, but if things are going to get put away it must be organized.), worrying, getting next to no sleep, and I haven't heard from CPS at all. I really would rather just get this over with, I know that my house is fine, and all of my paperwork is in order, so I wish that she would just come back and end the case. I know that I could go down there and give her my paperwork, but since part of the claim was that I live in a dirty house (yes cluttered, not dirty), I know that she must come back and do a follow up.

I did talk to a lawyer that I know. He told me that in NM (maybe it was just in Otero County) the Children Youth and Families Dept. really aren't the big problem. He said that they usually want things to work out for the families, the problem is the DA's office. He said that they are hell bent on getting convictions, and they will totally ignore the recommendations of CPS to reunite families if they think that they can get a conviction. He also advised that if the CPS officer comes with a camera, don't let her in and retain a lawyer immediately. The CPS officer told me that I would need references (can you believe that?), so on my list I have a lawyer (who is also Richard's taekwondo instructor), another CYFD employee, a very well-spoken friend, and my sister-in-law who is the superintendent of the statewide school for the blind. I think that if there was a problem in my home one of them would have noticed.

I have also had numerous people into my house to do "walk-through" inspections, to see if any of them can spot anything that could be seen as a health hazard, including one cop, I think that I mentioned that before, and no one has been able to find anything. The cop was even here before I started cleaning! I think that someone just has it out for me. Top of my list is my old child-care provider (the list consists of her and a few fundamentalist book-burning people), who was great in the beginning, but I began to notice some behavior that I didn't like, including shaming my son if he didn't know what she thought he should. He has never been to school and yet he has had to "deschool" because of her, and it wasn't even a daycare center, just a childcare home with all homeschoolers who have parents that work. About 6 months ago she told me that Richard couldn't come anymore, no explanation at all. The people there were like family to him, so it was hard. I had been looking for solutions for the few days a week that I work, but she speeded up the process. I wish that I had pulled him so that he wouldn't have felt unwanted, but I waited.

This has been especially irritating for me because since the time that I knew that I was pregnant, every decision that I have made has been with not just much reflection, but most times tons of research and contemplation. I researched everything from what I ate while pregnant and breastfeeding to circumcision to attachment parenting to childcare to homeschooling then to unschooling. I am not sure that the general population does all of this, and I really do feel like I am an exceptional parent. I also feel comfortable saying all of this on an unschooling list because I am sure that all of you feel the same about yourselves! Reading all of your writings has helped me so much, and I think that everyone here is going to extraordinary measures to be the best parents that we can. The fact that someone would say that *I* am neglecting my son is just appalling to me. I guess abusers might feel the same way though.....

Anyway, I wanted to give you all an update. I really appreciate all of your kind words and advise last week, at a time when I wasn't sure who to trust it was nice to have an outlet to vent and look for advise.

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[email protected]

I'm glad you wrote. I thought about it in the middle of the night, and
thought of looking up the address and asking you how it went.

-=-I know that I could go down there and give her my paperwork, but since
part of the claim was that I live in a dirty house (yes cluttered, not dirty),
I know that she must come back and do a follow up.-=-


You don't "know" that, you just suspect it, right? If her first visit
didn't yield her any dirt (so to speak), she might NOT have to come back at all.

-=the problem is the DA's office. He said that they are hell bent on
getting convictions=-

But the DA's office only deals in crimes, and you weren't charged with a

Maybe she's just not going to come back.

When my mom was neglecting my brother I wasn't trying to turn her in, I just
wanted them to provide some counselling for them, and I went in person to
CPS in Rio Arriba county (Espanola). I was trying to pressure the caseworker
not to leave them at the bottom of a long list. She said she understood my
concern, but that my brother was healthy and fed, and that that week they had
had a girl with cigarette burns on her arms and a baby with a broken arm.
That shut me right up. And I suppose you might be comforted in a twisted and
sad way by that thought, too. Undoubtedly the county has worse situations
this week than yours. That's bad for the other children, but good for you.

Maybe as you're researching and contemplating how to procede, you might want
to consider not staying in Otero County.

whose husband grew up in Alamogordo


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