Re: Emotional barriers to comprehension
Deb Lewis
***The thing I am really worried about here is the emotional aspect. I
don't mind taking time to explain over and over again until he
understands. But he gets soooo upset and I feel so bad for him. And so
often I (or dh or Charles) end up getting upset.***
I'm just going to throw out a couple of thoughts.
First, I think this is very normal. There is an age range where a lot of
people have a hard time asking exactly what they want and where they have
a hard time applying what they're hearing to what they already think. I
don't think this is an emotional problem or barrier or anything like
that. I think it's just normal.
Next, it might be part of your normal family style of communication. You
mention others get upset too, so maybe this is the way your family
communicates. Maybe you're all easily frustrated when things don't go
exactly how you expect and he's mirroring that or it's part of his
genetic make up.
Also, paying attention to how you're answering his questions might give
you some clues. Is he getting a superficial answer when he's looking for
something deep and meaningful? Is he getting more explanation than he
wants? Sometime when you're *not* watching anything ask him what he
thinks. Mention you notice he gets frustrated and ask what you can do to
make that whole question/answer process easier for him.
David and Dylan had a hard time communicating and often over questions
about movie or book happenings.
David would give a simple answer. "He jumped off the building because he
didn't want those guys to catch him."
Well, Dylan knew that much. He wanted to know *why* the guy thought
jumping was the best choice. Why couldn't he try to run past them? Why
didn't he kick them and get away? What was he so afraid of if they
caught him?
Maybe he just doesn't like what he's watching. Maybe he'd like to go do
something else but doesn't want to do it by himself. Could you offer to
go play a game with him instead?
Just some ideas that may or may not help you. Dylan was like this at
about that age and it sorted itself out with a lot of talking and
understanding and some time. He's the one explaining most things to us,
now. <g>
Deb Lewis
"Destiny has her hand on my back and she's pushing!"
~The Tick~
don't mind taking time to explain over and over again until he
understands. But he gets soooo upset and I feel so bad for him. And so
often I (or dh or Charles) end up getting upset.***
I'm just going to throw out a couple of thoughts.
First, I think this is very normal. There is an age range where a lot of
people have a hard time asking exactly what they want and where they have
a hard time applying what they're hearing to what they already think. I
don't think this is an emotional problem or barrier or anything like
that. I think it's just normal.
Next, it might be part of your normal family style of communication. You
mention others get upset too, so maybe this is the way your family
communicates. Maybe you're all easily frustrated when things don't go
exactly how you expect and he's mirroring that or it's part of his
genetic make up.
Also, paying attention to how you're answering his questions might give
you some clues. Is he getting a superficial answer when he's looking for
something deep and meaningful? Is he getting more explanation than he
wants? Sometime when you're *not* watching anything ask him what he
thinks. Mention you notice he gets frustrated and ask what you can do to
make that whole question/answer process easier for him.
David and Dylan had a hard time communicating and often over questions
about movie or book happenings.
David would give a simple answer. "He jumped off the building because he
didn't want those guys to catch him."
Well, Dylan knew that much. He wanted to know *why* the guy thought
jumping was the best choice. Why couldn't he try to run past them? Why
didn't he kick them and get away? What was he so afraid of if they
caught him?
Maybe he just doesn't like what he's watching. Maybe he'd like to go do
something else but doesn't want to do it by himself. Could you offer to
go play a game with him instead?
Just some ideas that may or may not help you. Dylan was like this at
about that age and it sorted itself out with a lot of talking and
understanding and some time. He's the one explaining most things to us,
now. <g>
Deb Lewis
"Destiny has her hand on my back and she's pushing!"
~The Tick~
Dana Matt
> Also, paying attention to how you're answering hisEm, 7, has lately started saying, after my lengthy
> questions might give
> you some clues. Is he getting a superficial answer
> when he's looking for
> something deep and meaningful? Is he getting more
> explanation than he
> wants?
explanations, "Ok, now can you tell me that again, but
in the simplest way possible?" Mama knows it's time
to shut up and quit explaining now! :D
Dana
Guadalupe's Coffee Roaster
100% Organic Fair Trade Coffee
Roasted to Perfection Daily
http://www.guadalupescoffee.com
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Dawn
--- In [email protected], Dana Matt
<hoffmanwilson@y...> wrote:
I've lurked here a while and had to jump in-- My Cait, 7,
says,"You're being a book with a mouth, Mom."
-Dawn
radical unschooling mom to Cait, 7, and Clio,6, in MN, saying hi to
all for the first time!
<hoffmanwilson@y...> wrote:
>LOL!
> Em, 7, has lately started saying, after my lengthy
> explanations, "Ok, now can you tell me that again, but
> in the simplest way possible?" Mama knows it's time
> to shut up and quit explaining now! :D
>
> Dana
>
I've lurked here a while and had to jump in-- My Cait, 7,
says,"You're being a book with a mouth, Mom."
-Dawn
radical unschooling mom to Cait, 7, and Clio,6, in MN, saying hi to
all for the first time!