Heidi Crane

From: b229d655@...
>Subject: Re: May I vent?
>In a message dated 4/12/2005 12:17:54 PM Eastern Standard Time,
>bunsofaluminum60@... writes:
> > Okay, thanks for letting me vent a bit. More than likely, it's "family
> > meeting time." and I'll be able to express my frustrations without
> > the kids. Lots of my anger was already dissipated from picking up and
> > baking bread. and practicing my piano.
>Fantastic vent. I read it all and took a deep breath for you. Thank
>goodness some things can help us cool off before we fire it all out.
>I ususally don't have much of an issue in the house cuz my kids are still
>really little and we all kinda go to bed about the same time so I have no
>surprises in the morning.

One of the reasons why I gave up on a regular bedtime was the flat out fact
that my 10 year old is a genuine night owl, from birth. She slept in bed
with us, so I didn't notice it until she got her own bed at about 2 yoa.
Then, I'd settle her in, and sing her a song (her favorite was "How Much Is
That Doggy In the Window?" LOL) and go to bed myself in a peaceful, quiet
house. Next day, peering in on sleeping kids, i'd find my little Blondeletta
sound asleep...in a box in the corner of the room, under the bed with covers
draped over everything, in the closet with a lamp shining nearby, sometimes
with markers and paper or books or masses of stuffed toys all piled up
around her. From the moment she "could" she's been staying up late and doing
her own thing. Now, it's just spread from her room out to the rest of the

But for us, occasionally mine will get beyond my patience
>when we are out running errands or whatever and I am so thankful that we
>the ride home to listen to music or the DVD or the gameboys or whatever, to
>calm us all down. By the time we get home, it's no biggie and we can talk
>if we
>need to.

Calming down first is so important. Hence, my morning rant before anyone got
up. :)

>I think setting some rules for "after hours" is a good thing. They may be
>tired and really aren't thinking about cleaning up at night, maybe the
>are low and they don't see all the crumbs and stuff.

I think you're right about not seeing all the crumbs and stuff, but...at
least in the case of my 10 year old, she isn't tired. The other day! LOL at
11 o'clock at night, she was moving furniture around in her room. This HUGE
bunk bed, with her brother's help. And then they moved HIS stuff around.
Alert, active, vocal, (mostly keeping it down for my sake), happy as clams.
Happy as active, at-their-diurnal-peak clams, that is!

Sometimes, I do request that she stay in her room after i go to bed, and
that usually has the effect of keeping her quiet for a couple of hourse
while I fall asleep, but more often than not, she's moved herself to the
couch or the front room floor by morning, where my hubby finds her when he
gets home from work.

If there are dishes
>they've used, they should help clean and put them away. Same with toys,
>books, or
>whatever. Unless of course they are using those things again later. Since
>all share the same home, especially "family rooms or common spaces", they
>help by taking care of their things. They probably won't mind, they may
>even realize that you feel this way come morning time.

I agree with that, but when they make a mess bigger than they can clean up.
Or, if she has a huge surge of energy and works on many projects with gusto,
then *poof* drops. I mean, it happens to me during the day. Then, the
projects are still all over the place, and her without the energy to clean
up. I just need to re-emphasize with her the principle of consideration.
She's 10. I think she can keep in mind the idea that cleaning up after
oneself is a socially responsible thing to do.

as for the food, I'm doing just what you suggest: I get groceries in the
house, with a broad variety of things everyone in the family likes, both
foods they can get themselves, and things I can fix and have ready for
them...and when it's gone, it's gone until I get groceries again. Every
couple of weeks is how it has always worked in this family. I'm not *really*
gonna call "kitchen closed" but I am going to ask that there be some thought
about clean up when they're done. I found similar messes this morning.
Chocolate milk mix! Gotta give credit. She doesn't let anything stop her. We
didn't have choc milk mix, so she made a batch! and made a MESS...

>Thanks for sharing, I feel like I'm less alone when others have share their
>ups and downs. I hope all goes well with your family meeting.

family meeting will be this afternoon when 10 year old and daddy are awake.
Just saying "please clean up if you make a mess" when i went to bed, didn't
do the job.

thanks, Pamela

blessings, heidic