Introduction, kind of long
Gwen McCrea
Hello! I have been reading on this site for a couple months (off
and on, as we just returned from a long trip with limited internet
access). We have two sons, Gabriel (8 years) and Raphael (8 months).
We live in Minnesota, though we try to spend at least a month, if not
more, each year in Bolivia, where my husband is from.
When Gabriel was younger, I always thought I would homeschool
(didn't know about unschooling at the time). But then I started
graduate school when he was four, became too preoccupied with what *I*
was doing, and slipped into the typical M.O.he went to a
Montessori preschool, and went through second grade at public school.
My husband and I have always had serious philosophical and practical
critiques of schools in general, though, and at the end of last school
year decided to keep Gabriel home this year. This was after having
struggled with his first grade teacher and school administrators, who
freaked out when he did things like climb a door inside the building
(oh horror!) and struggling with his second grade teachers to try to
get them to lay off the boring, repetitive, and required homework.
Reading John Holt was one of the things that clinched the decision to
homeschool, unschooling is a much better fit for our parenting style
(or at least, our parenting ideals, we're works in
progress ). Still,
I've only really been unschooling for a couple months because I
sabotoged the first few months of deschooling with occasional
(frequent?) parent panic attacks, afternoons of insisting he do
something "educational", and getting frustrated and doing
things like
taking away his Play Station.
I know that I have many shortcomings that sometimes make this
unschooling journey difficult. Right this minute, I'm being
forced to admit oneimpatiencebecause as I'm writing
this Gabriel
keeps walking in and telling me in great detail about past and future
K'nex models. The first few times, I was guilty of the automatic
"mm-hm" response, I couldn't tell you what it was he was
trying to
explain to me. I realized that I was so wrapped up in what I was doing
that I resented the interruptionand its not like I'm doing
something that can't wait a couple minutes while I hear about the
next
cool invention. Luckily, he is more patient than I am, and he gave me
several more chances to be interested in what he was doing (I am so
impressed by his inventiveness and understanding of engineering,
balance, simple machines, design, as he creates K'nex and
Bionicles!).
The other largish obstacles for me are balancing the needs of an
8-year-old and an infant, and trying to de-stress and de-school myself
while simultaneously finishing a PhD degree (a Sisyphean task if ever
there were oneI am leaning toward a clean break and a guilt-free
desertion of the university, but don't know if I am brave enough
to do
so).
I'm so glad to have found this forum/community! I'm looking
forward to
future discussions!
I'd like to share this piece from Kahlil Gibran, as well, which I
first heard as a song from Sweet Honey in the Rock. While I don't
personally go for the divine archer bending me to his will, the
message of deep respect for children has always resonated with me.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot
visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent
forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends
you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow
that is stable.
Peace,
Gwen
and on, as we just returned from a long trip with limited internet
access). We have two sons, Gabriel (8 years) and Raphael (8 months).
We live in Minnesota, though we try to spend at least a month, if not
more, each year in Bolivia, where my husband is from.
When Gabriel was younger, I always thought I would homeschool
(didn't know about unschooling at the time). But then I started
graduate school when he was four, became too preoccupied with what *I*
was doing, and slipped into the typical M.O.he went to a
Montessori preschool, and went through second grade at public school.
My husband and I have always had serious philosophical and practical
critiques of schools in general, though, and at the end of last school
year decided to keep Gabriel home this year. This was after having
struggled with his first grade teacher and school administrators, who
freaked out when he did things like climb a door inside the building
(oh horror!) and struggling with his second grade teachers to try to
get them to lay off the boring, repetitive, and required homework.
Reading John Holt was one of the things that clinched the decision to
homeschool, unschooling is a much better fit for our parenting style
(or at least, our parenting ideals, we're works in
progress ). Still,
I've only really been unschooling for a couple months because I
sabotoged the first few months of deschooling with occasional
(frequent?) parent panic attacks, afternoons of insisting he do
something "educational", and getting frustrated and doing
things like
taking away his Play Station.
I know that I have many shortcomings that sometimes make this
unschooling journey difficult. Right this minute, I'm being
forced to admit oneimpatiencebecause as I'm writing
this Gabriel
keeps walking in and telling me in great detail about past and future
K'nex models. The first few times, I was guilty of the automatic
"mm-hm" response, I couldn't tell you what it was he was
trying to
explain to me. I realized that I was so wrapped up in what I was doing
that I resented the interruptionand its not like I'm doing
something that can't wait a couple minutes while I hear about the
next
cool invention. Luckily, he is more patient than I am, and he gave me
several more chances to be interested in what he was doing (I am so
impressed by his inventiveness and understanding of engineering,
balance, simple machines, design, as he creates K'nex and
Bionicles!).
The other largish obstacles for me are balancing the needs of an
8-year-old and an infant, and trying to de-stress and de-school myself
while simultaneously finishing a PhD degree (a Sisyphean task if ever
there were oneI am leaning toward a clean break and a guilt-free
desertion of the university, but don't know if I am brave enough
to do
so).
I'm so glad to have found this forum/community! I'm looking
forward to
future discussions!
I'd like to share this piece from Kahlil Gibran, as well, which I
first heard as a song from Sweet Honey in the Rock. While I don't
personally go for the divine archer bending me to his will, the
message of deep respect for children has always resonated with me.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot
visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent
forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends
you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow
that is stable.
Peace,
Gwen
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/26/2005 10:19:28 PM Mountain Standard Time,
gwendolin00@... writes:
I've only really been unschooling for a couple months because I
sabotoged the first few months of deschooling with occasional
(frequent?) parent panic attacks, afternoons of insisting he do
something "educational", and getting frustrated and doing
things like
taking away his Play Station.
-------------------------------------------
The formula I've always heard is it takes one month per year of school
starting after the mom stops saying "do some work" (or whatever, fill your own
panic-message in there <g>) for deschooling to settle out so that the child will
be curious and open to things he might've rejected or avoided before.
-=-The first few times, I was guilty of the automatic
"mm-hm" response, I couldn't tell you what it was he was
trying to
explain to me.=-
That happens with everyone sometimes. Husbands to wives and vice versa,
kids not hearing parents...
Could you photograph some of his good K'nex sculptures? I regret not having
photographed Kirby "Turtle sculptures," when he had arranged his Ninja
Turtle figured in elaborate scenarios. Marty did Lego things I wish I'd
photographed. We have a few photos of Holly's My Little Pony parties and weddings.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
gwendolin00@... writes:
I've only really been unschooling for a couple months because I
sabotoged the first few months of deschooling with occasional
(frequent?) parent panic attacks, afternoons of insisting he do
something "educational", and getting frustrated and doing
things like
taking away his Play Station.
-------------------------------------------
The formula I've always heard is it takes one month per year of school
starting after the mom stops saying "do some work" (or whatever, fill your own
panic-message in there <g>) for deschooling to settle out so that the child will
be curious and open to things he might've rejected or avoided before.
-=-The first few times, I was guilty of the automatic
"mm-hm" response, I couldn't tell you what it was he was
trying to
explain to me.=-
That happens with everyone sometimes. Husbands to wives and vice versa,
kids not hearing parents...
Could you photograph some of his good K'nex sculptures? I regret not having
photographed Kirby "Turtle sculptures," when he had arranged his Ninja
Turtle figured in elaborate scenarios. Marty did Lego things I wish I'd
photographed. We have a few photos of Holly's My Little Pony parties and weddings.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]