discipline
Tracy Oldfield
I am early on my journey as a parent (and in some ways as a
human spirit, but that's another discussion altogether) but my take
on the whole 'discipline' thing is that punishment and rewards (both
equally) do not lead to inner discipline, but instead a reliance on
external pressure to show the way. I know this is true in my case,
having been raised and schooled with the tradititional
punishment/reward system. I am trying to rediscover the single-
minded-ness of purpose and inner strength I am told I possessed
as a young child, before the interference of school with it's 10-out-of-
10's and 'poor' with it's peer-pressure and condescendence. And
so I'm unschooling, hopefully to not inflict those things on my own
children. I said I'd stay off the 'smacking' theme, but there's one
quote I'd like to add, from Adele Faber and Eileen Mazlish and I
forget which book of theirs it's from, or even the exact wording, but
it's something along the lines of how sad it is that even parents
with college-level education, supposedly intelligent people cannot
find a way to deal effectively with their children without using
violence.
I don't use time-out or any other such form of punishment. I
wouldn't remove 'privileges' (what do people regard as privileges,
anyhow? This is a serious question, btw, I've never quite
understood this term) unless they were directly involved in
whatever, so that the 'removal' was a direct consecquence of the
action, like when the kids wouldn't tidy up their stuff, so they put it
in bin-bags and I said it had gone to the dustbin-dragon. That's a
direct consequence. and they chose to put their stuff in the
rubbish. And I don't use star-charts or anything like that either. If
anyone's interested in a good book on the subject of training, I
particularly like Don't Shoot the Dog, by Karen Pryor (I think) I got
it from my local LLL group library.
Tracy
human spirit, but that's another discussion altogether) but my take
on the whole 'discipline' thing is that punishment and rewards (both
equally) do not lead to inner discipline, but instead a reliance on
external pressure to show the way. I know this is true in my case,
having been raised and schooled with the tradititional
punishment/reward system. I am trying to rediscover the single-
minded-ness of purpose and inner strength I am told I possessed
as a young child, before the interference of school with it's 10-out-of-
10's and 'poor' with it's peer-pressure and condescendence. And
so I'm unschooling, hopefully to not inflict those things on my own
children. I said I'd stay off the 'smacking' theme, but there's one
quote I'd like to add, from Adele Faber and Eileen Mazlish and I
forget which book of theirs it's from, or even the exact wording, but
it's something along the lines of how sad it is that even parents
with college-level education, supposedly intelligent people cannot
find a way to deal effectively with their children without using
violence.
I don't use time-out or any other such form of punishment. I
wouldn't remove 'privileges' (what do people regard as privileges,
anyhow? This is a serious question, btw, I've never quite
understood this term) unless they were directly involved in
whatever, so that the 'removal' was a direct consecquence of the
action, like when the kids wouldn't tidy up their stuff, so they put it
in bin-bags and I said it had gone to the dustbin-dragon. That's a
direct consequence. and they chose to put their stuff in the
rubbish. And I don't use star-charts or anything like that either. If
anyone's interested in a good book on the subject of training, I
particularly like Don't Shoot the Dog, by Karen Pryor (I think) I got
it from my local LLL group library.
Tracy