averting frustration
[email protected]
=-His response is
usually to ask to do something he *knows* I can't do while nursing. It's
very antagonistic - almost as if he's *looking* for a reason to get mad.=\=
-------------
People with a high level of frustration or free-floating anxiety DO look for
other things to blame it on.
-=-Question: If I try to avert possibly volatile situations and tip-toe
around
him, will he learn to handle frustration? -=-
Absolutely.
My mother in law told us once that we needed to frustrate our children so
they would learn to deal with frustration. She's plenty of frustration for
us all. <bwg> There are real frustrations. No sense welcoming more.
-=- Or will he just learn that Mommy
will "make everything ok?" Example: He knows that I know the *right* way
to cut/prepare his food. So when Dad has to make his food, he lashes out
and insists Mommy has to do it.-=-
Tell dad the right way, or do it yourself until he's older.
He'll get over it.
But the self-image of himself as a lashing-out kid, and your responses to
it, and the stories that will probably be told forevermore are harmful to him.
Help him be happy.
-=-Doesn't he need to learn that he can not *always* be the center of
attention?-=-
He is the center of his universe.
Is.
If you draw him close to the center of yours, it might help.
I was a firstborn and I resented my sister's coming BIGTIME. My mother
mishandled it in the extreme.
-=-I mean, my husband and I can't hold all our conversations until
he goes to bed in hopes that this will head off an outburst.
-=-
Not for 15 more years you can't, but for a few months you can.
FIRST see to him. While he's fed, comfortable, and has been heard, THEN
have your conversation. Maybe try to include him.
My husband used to start TOTALLY adult conversations in the car when there
was a kid or two there. I finally explained to him how shut out then and
bored the kids get, and how we're not together anymore once the kids zone out
because he's talking about refinancing the mortgage or something.
Conversations that can't involve kids probably should take place in their absence.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
usually to ask to do something he *knows* I can't do while nursing. It's
very antagonistic - almost as if he's *looking* for a reason to get mad.=\=
-------------
People with a high level of frustration or free-floating anxiety DO look for
other things to blame it on.
-=-Question: If I try to avert possibly volatile situations and tip-toe
around
him, will he learn to handle frustration? -=-
Absolutely.
My mother in law told us once that we needed to frustrate our children so
they would learn to deal with frustration. She's plenty of frustration for
us all. <bwg> There are real frustrations. No sense welcoming more.
-=- Or will he just learn that Mommy
will "make everything ok?" Example: He knows that I know the *right* way
to cut/prepare his food. So when Dad has to make his food, he lashes out
and insists Mommy has to do it.-=-
Tell dad the right way, or do it yourself until he's older.
He'll get over it.
But the self-image of himself as a lashing-out kid, and your responses to
it, and the stories that will probably be told forevermore are harmful to him.
Help him be happy.
-=-Doesn't he need to learn that he can not *always* be the center of
attention?-=-
He is the center of his universe.
Is.
If you draw him close to the center of yours, it might help.
I was a firstborn and I resented my sister's coming BIGTIME. My mother
mishandled it in the extreme.
-=-I mean, my husband and I can't hold all our conversations until
he goes to bed in hopes that this will head off an outburst.
-=-
Not for 15 more years you can't, but for a few months you can.
FIRST see to him. While he's fed, comfortable, and has been heard, THEN
have your conversation. Maybe try to include him.
My husband used to start TOTALLY adult conversations in the car when there
was a kid or two there. I finally explained to him how shut out then and
bored the kids get, and how we're not together anymore once the kids zone out
because he's talking about refinancing the mortgage or something.
Conversations that can't involve kids probably should take place in their absence.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]