Homeschool Dad..
charissaurban
My wife is doing an incredible job withour 4 kids, 10week old(hee
hee), 3, 4 and 6 year olds. Occassionally, she will call me on a bad
day and need some help. I want to be a great dad and help any way I
can. I just have alot of questions.
Some of them are:
- How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
- What things do they do with their kids?
- How do you discover what your kids are good at?
- How do you support your wife?
hee), 3, 4 and 6 year olds. Occassionally, she will call me on a bad
day and need some help. I want to be a great dad and help any way I
can. I just have alot of questions.
Some of them are:
- How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
- What things do they do with their kids?
- How do you discover what your kids are good at?
- How do you support your wife?
Julie Bogart
--- In [email protected], "charissaurban" <charissaurban@y...>
wrote:
play cards or X box, they play a game called Black Panther where one hides upstairs and
the others have to find the black panther in the dark and there is lots of big screaming. :)
For years, my husband would send me to the library once a week alone for several hours
so I could have somepeace and quiet.
Today, I'm back to doing that now that I'm in grad school and he spendes that time with
the kids - going to their games or driving to activities.
as what they're interested in.
Julie B
wrote:
>My dh spends time every eveing with the kids. They clean up the ktichen after dinner, they
> - How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
> UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
play cards or X box, they play a game called Black Panther where one hides upstairs and
the others have to find the black panther in the dark and there is lots of big screaming. :)
For years, my husband would send me to the library once a week alone for several hours
so I could have somepeace and quiet.
Today, I'm back to doing that now that I'm in grad school and he spendes that time with
the kids - going to their games or driving to activities.
> - What things do they do with their kids?Games, watching movies, reading...
> - How do you discover what your kids are good at?Watch them! Ask them what they like to do. It doesn't matter so much what they're good at
as what they're interested in.
Julie B
> - How do you support your wife?
Mary
From: "charissaurban" <charissaurban@...>
My husband isn't on this list but I think I can fairly respond for him.
<<How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
What things do they do with their kids?>>
My husband works at home so various times during the day he is able to stop
and spend some time with the children. Sometimes to play on the playstation
with them, go outside and throw and bat some balls, or just chase them
around the house for ahwile. Sometimes just to talk and watch what they are
doing. In the evening he gets the 3 younger ones ready for bed by taking
care of the showers and snacks for them. There's also evening time to watch
tv together, take walks or scooter rides, read books, play games and just
talk. His time may not be for long periods with them, but he finds a lot of
time during the course of the days to connect. There is also YuGiOh
tournaments and baseball games that our son is involved in. Every outting on
the weekend my husbands always comes along and sometimes during the week too
when we have certain field trips with my group. He also makes a point to try
and take some one on one time with each one. Even if it's just taking one of
them along to run errands.
<<How do you discover what your kids are good at?>>
By doing everything that my husband does, it's rather easy to see what
direction the children are going in and what their likes and dislikes are.
Just by being with them on a regular basis, he sees.
<<How do you support your wife?>>
My husband supports me a great deal. Just by spending time with the children
and helping out with them means a lot to me. When we have somewhere to go,
he's here to help with breakfast and such. He's also a great support of
SAHM. He's the first one to say what a great job I do and how hard it is to
others who may not seem so understanding. His verbal defence in public means
a lot to me. He's also very confident about the decisions I make concerning
the children on a daily basis. He trusts my decisions and supports me 100%.
He also calls me on some things like me having a frustration day and not
being so joyful. I appreciate that and he'll come and take over and let my
"moment" pass without taking it out on the kids. We both do that for each
other and it helps so much with our parenting. I have a great guy.
Mary B
My husband isn't on this list but I think I can fairly respond for him.
<<How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
What things do they do with their kids?>>
My husband works at home so various times during the day he is able to stop
and spend some time with the children. Sometimes to play on the playstation
with them, go outside and throw and bat some balls, or just chase them
around the house for ahwile. Sometimes just to talk and watch what they are
doing. In the evening he gets the 3 younger ones ready for bed by taking
care of the showers and snacks for them. There's also evening time to watch
tv together, take walks or scooter rides, read books, play games and just
talk. His time may not be for long periods with them, but he finds a lot of
time during the course of the days to connect. There is also YuGiOh
tournaments and baseball games that our son is involved in. Every outting on
the weekend my husbands always comes along and sometimes during the week too
when we have certain field trips with my group. He also makes a point to try
and take some one on one time with each one. Even if it's just taking one of
them along to run errands.
<<How do you discover what your kids are good at?>>
By doing everything that my husband does, it's rather easy to see what
direction the children are going in and what their likes and dislikes are.
Just by being with them on a regular basis, he sees.
<<How do you support your wife?>>
My husband supports me a great deal. Just by spending time with the children
and helping out with them means a lot to me. When we have somewhere to go,
he's here to help with breakfast and such. He's also a great support of
SAHM. He's the first one to say what a great job I do and how hard it is to
others who may not seem so understanding. His verbal defence in public means
a lot to me. He's also very confident about the decisions I make concerning
the children on a daily basis. He trusts my decisions and supports me 100%.
He also calls me on some things like me having a frustration day and not
being so joyful. I appreciate that and he'll come and take over and let my
"moment" pass without taking it out on the kids. We both do that for each
other and it helps so much with our parenting. I have a great guy.
Mary B
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/19/2004 8:45:18 AM Central Standard Time,
charissaurban@... writes:
- How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
~~~
The unschooling dad in our house spends every waking moment that he's not at
work with our kid (and me). Sometimes he's with our kid at work, too!
Dads should do the same things with their kids as the moms do. Like
changing diapers and refilling the sippy cups and folding the towels. And then dads
should do the things with their kids that dads do, like "wrestle-fighting"
and changing the oil in the van and watching a football game. Just like when
mom weeds the flower bed, drives them all to the park, or cleans out the car.
Live in relationship with your kids. Forge your own relationship with them
that is not dependent on or filtered through mom. Don't ask her permission
to hold the toddler against the ceiling over your head. Be fun, have fun, do
what they like, do what you like, point out stuff they didn't know about
something that interests them. Shut up about things that don't. Be your
authentic self. Let them get to know you. Tell them about the time in high school
you rolled a giant rock in front of the school door. Tell them about the
fight you had with your brother over a game of Monopoly. Let them help you
write the check to the gas company.
Speak up for your wife when she's not being heard. Ask her what she would
like for you to do. Do things without being asked. See the dirty sock that's
been in the corner for 3 days, and pick it up. Do the dishes. Don't expect
gratitude for it. Get the grocery shopping done. Buy her favorite brands
and go by the list. Help your kids show gratitude for what she does. Don't
be mean to them.
Trust your kids to know what they want to do even if they're not good at it.
Let them try new things even if it's hard for them and they will never be
good at it. Figure out why you think it's important to you for them to be
good at something. Recognize that they're good at being themselves. Don't put
unjust expectations onto them. Follow them along and strew interesting
things.
You sound like a good dad. Trust yourself. Trust your children.
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
charissaurban@... writes:
- How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
~~~
The unschooling dad in our house spends every waking moment that he's not at
work with our kid (and me). Sometimes he's with our kid at work, too!
Dads should do the same things with their kids as the moms do. Like
changing diapers and refilling the sippy cups and folding the towels. And then dads
should do the things with their kids that dads do, like "wrestle-fighting"
and changing the oil in the van and watching a football game. Just like when
mom weeds the flower bed, drives them all to the park, or cleans out the car.
Live in relationship with your kids. Forge your own relationship with them
that is not dependent on or filtered through mom. Don't ask her permission
to hold the toddler against the ceiling over your head. Be fun, have fun, do
what they like, do what you like, point out stuff they didn't know about
something that interests them. Shut up about things that don't. Be your
authentic self. Let them get to know you. Tell them about the time in high school
you rolled a giant rock in front of the school door. Tell them about the
fight you had with your brother over a game of Monopoly. Let them help you
write the check to the gas company.
Speak up for your wife when she's not being heard. Ask her what she would
like for you to do. Do things without being asked. See the dirty sock that's
been in the corner for 3 days, and pick it up. Do the dishes. Don't expect
gratitude for it. Get the grocery shopping done. Buy her favorite brands
and go by the list. Help your kids show gratitude for what she does. Don't
be mean to them.
Trust your kids to know what they want to do even if they're not good at it.
Let them try new things even if it's hard for them and they will never be
good at it. Figure out why you think it's important to you for them to be
good at something. Recognize that they're good at being themselves. Don't put
unjust expectations onto them. Follow them along and strew interesting
things.
You sound like a good dad. Trust yourself. Trust your children.
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/19/04 7:45:11 AM, charissaurban@... writes:
<< Some of them are:
- How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
- What things do they do with their kids?
- How do you discover what your kids are good at?
- How do you support your wife? >>
There are a couple of lists for dads, linked here:
http://sandradodd.com/lists/other
But having input from here AND there couldn't hurt, huh?
My husband's quite an introvert and needs more time alone than I do.
When our kids were little we had that age range minus the four year old, more
or less. They're 13, 15 and 18 now.
My husband is Keith. He used to do a lot of holding the baby, when there was
a baby, and many times a baby or toddler fell asleep on dad, and then was put
in the bed. I don't know that that's an unschooling thing, but I also don't
know where unschooling ends, and I think it's gloriously useful if the
children trust dad to be as safe and reliable as mom. Some kids are nervous around
or afraid of their dads, so any soothing, still, quiet kind of dad stuff seems
a positive to me.
-=-- How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids? -=-
Some days Keith spends none. Some days he gets quite involved with one or
another, or two, and spends a couple of hours involved. He and Holly do Celtic
knotwork together and talk about that, or he'll show her something he's
planning on wood, or she'll show him something she's discovered on graph paper. He
and Marty like the same kinds of movies, and they watch the dollar movie
schedule to go together. Keith's having a heavy SCA involvement (medieval combat
stuff, and music, for his part) but I haven't been going lately, and though
both the boys have been involved in the combat some, neither is very into it in
the past year, so they're missing a potential opportunity, but everyone's
calm about it. I kinda wish the boys were more into it, but I don't want to
pressure them because everyone's happy these days.
-=-How do you discover what your kids are good at?-=-
Just by giving them all kinds of opportunities to catch interests or to try
things. And when one does perk up about one thing or another, don't peg them
with it and press it. They might have a big interest in dinosaurs or airplanes
or horses that plays itself out someday. They'll reach satisfied saturation
and go on to other things. A kid who LOVES playground equipment might have no
interest in gymnastics. And sometimes a kid's favorite activity might be one
he's not noticeably "good at," but enjoys anyway. Singing, drawing,
puzzles... some do those things who aren't loaded with talent, but they like it anyway.
Howard Gardner lists different intelligences (you could google for details)
in these areas:
kinesthetic
musical
verbal
spatial
logic
interpersonal
intrapersonal
nature
I left one out, I think. Others will fill it in. I'm expecting a plumber
any minute or I'd google it myself.
People will have combinations of those, typically, so instead of looking for
a major or primary talent or interest, assume and aim for finding several!
-=- How do you support your wife?-=-
The best thing my husband used to dofor me was to the kids all away so I
could take a long shower or do something alone for half an hour or an hour. He
could take them to Burger King or just to the store with him, or to a city park
to throw a ball for the dog, and it seemed like a real, major vacation. The
kids thought it was fun too, and got to do something without me, which is good
in small doses.
With a tiny baby, sleep is good.
If you can afford to bring prepared foods in more than you would without the
baby, that would be helpful too. Seems minor, and seems expensive sometimes,
but it won't be for always. Someday you'll have four teenagers and they'll be
old enough to get their own food, cook for the family, or find their food out
and about with the money they make from working. It's weird, but it happe
ns. <g>
Sandra
<< Some of them are:
- How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
- What things do they do with their kids?
- How do you discover what your kids are good at?
- How do you support your wife? >>
There are a couple of lists for dads, linked here:
http://sandradodd.com/lists/other
But having input from here AND there couldn't hurt, huh?
My husband's quite an introvert and needs more time alone than I do.
When our kids were little we had that age range minus the four year old, more
or less. They're 13, 15 and 18 now.
My husband is Keith. He used to do a lot of holding the baby, when there was
a baby, and many times a baby or toddler fell asleep on dad, and then was put
in the bed. I don't know that that's an unschooling thing, but I also don't
know where unschooling ends, and I think it's gloriously useful if the
children trust dad to be as safe and reliable as mom. Some kids are nervous around
or afraid of their dads, so any soothing, still, quiet kind of dad stuff seems
a positive to me.
-=-- How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids? -=-
Some days Keith spends none. Some days he gets quite involved with one or
another, or two, and spends a couple of hours involved. He and Holly do Celtic
knotwork together and talk about that, or he'll show her something he's
planning on wood, or she'll show him something she's discovered on graph paper. He
and Marty like the same kinds of movies, and they watch the dollar movie
schedule to go together. Keith's having a heavy SCA involvement (medieval combat
stuff, and music, for his part) but I haven't been going lately, and though
both the boys have been involved in the combat some, neither is very into it in
the past year, so they're missing a potential opportunity, but everyone's
calm about it. I kinda wish the boys were more into it, but I don't want to
pressure them because everyone's happy these days.
-=-How do you discover what your kids are good at?-=-
Just by giving them all kinds of opportunities to catch interests or to try
things. And when one does perk up about one thing or another, don't peg them
with it and press it. They might have a big interest in dinosaurs or airplanes
or horses that plays itself out someday. They'll reach satisfied saturation
and go on to other things. A kid who LOVES playground equipment might have no
interest in gymnastics. And sometimes a kid's favorite activity might be one
he's not noticeably "good at," but enjoys anyway. Singing, drawing,
puzzles... some do those things who aren't loaded with talent, but they like it anyway.
Howard Gardner lists different intelligences (you could google for details)
in these areas:
kinesthetic
musical
verbal
spatial
logic
interpersonal
intrapersonal
nature
I left one out, I think. Others will fill it in. I'm expecting a plumber
any minute or I'd google it myself.
People will have combinations of those, typically, so instead of looking for
a major or primary talent or interest, assume and aim for finding several!
-=- How do you support your wife?-=-
The best thing my husband used to dofor me was to the kids all away so I
could take a long shower or do something alone for half an hour or an hour. He
could take them to Burger King or just to the store with him, or to a city park
to throw a ball for the dog, and it seemed like a real, major vacation. The
kids thought it was fun too, and got to do something without me, which is good
in small doses.
With a tiny baby, sleep is good.
If you can afford to bring prepared foods in more than you would without the
baby, that would be helpful too. Seems minor, and seems expensive sometimes,
but it won't be for always. Someday you'll have four teenagers and they'll be
old enough to get their own food, cook for the family, or find their food out
and about with the money they make from working. It's weird, but it happe
ns. <g>
Sandra
[email protected]
I liked Karen's list a lot.
<< Get the grocery shopping done. Buy her favorite brands
and go by the list. >>
Keith "does Costco." That's his main house job, and it's wonderful.
We keep a list for things from Costco, and another list for stuff not-Costco.
He always does Costco (and is willing to go three or four times a week, too,
because he really enjoys it), and sometimes will do the other store too. So
what we write down comes home. And we can write down the names of new DVDs.
That's fun. We only do it sometimes. Aladdin was the last one. And we
can write down nuts or candy and he doesn't ask us why or try to talk us out of
it.
He keeps the giant laundry soap in the garage, and we have two
many-times-reused smaller mismatched laundry soap bottles. When one is empty, we put it by
the front door, and it shows back up later that day or the next, refilled.
That's sweet.
From my point of view it's magic.
From his point of view, it's saving money.
So we're both happy.
Sandra
<< Get the grocery shopping done. Buy her favorite brands
and go by the list. >>
Keith "does Costco." That's his main house job, and it's wonderful.
We keep a list for things from Costco, and another list for stuff not-Costco.
He always does Costco (and is willing to go three or four times a week, too,
because he really enjoys it), and sometimes will do the other store too. So
what we write down comes home. And we can write down the names of new DVDs.
That's fun. We only do it sometimes. Aladdin was the last one. And we
can write down nuts or candy and he doesn't ask us why or try to talk us out of
it.
He keeps the giant laundry soap in the garage, and we have two
many-times-reused smaller mismatched laundry soap bottles. When one is empty, we put it by
the front door, and it shows back up later that day or the next, refilled.
That's sweet.
From my point of view it's magic.
From his point of view, it's saving money.
So we're both happy.
Sandra
Robyn Coburn
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDads/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SSUDs/
These are the two Unschooling discussion groups that my dh is subscribed to.
They are not hugely busy but he enjoys them.
The greatest support my dh gives me is by totally getting Unschooling. The
second thing he does is be acceptant of Jayn and my unusual rotating sleep
schedule. Acceptance and expressing appreciation - the keys that go in both
directions.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SSUDs/
These are the two Unschooling discussion groups that my dh is subscribed to.
They are not hugely busy but he enjoys them.
The greatest support my dh gives me is by totally getting Unschooling. The
second thing he does is be acceptant of Jayn and my unusual rotating sleep
schedule. Acceptance and expressing appreciation - the keys that go in both
directions.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.795 / Virus Database: 539 - Release Date: 11/12/2004
pam sorooshian
There is a "For Dads, by Dads," area of the National Home Education
Network (NHEN) website - you should have a look at it
<http://www.nhen.org/dads/default.asp?id=306>
-pam
Network (NHEN) website - you should have a look at it
<http://www.nhen.org/dads/default.asp?id=306>
-pam
On Nov 18, 2004, at 8:02 PM, charissaurban wrote:
> - How much time, on average, do the fathers out there in this
> UnschoolingDiscussion group spend with their kids?
> - What things do they do with their kids?
> - How do you discover what your kids are good at?
> - How do you support your wife?