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<< I do understand the power of affirmation and visualizing. I hadn't even
noticed the kinds of imagery I have been using in my thinking and talking and
writing. >>


I liked this. It was about my comments on Kelly saying she felt like she was
in a tunnel.


Every few months someone comes along here or some other unschooling
think-tank places, lays out a VERY clearly scary, negative load, and then gets angry if
anyone sees what they've deposited.

Someone did that at unschooling.com just the other day. He was FURIOUS,
bigtime, that we thought we knew anything about him. We knew a WHOLE lot about
him, including that he couldn't even see what he himself had written, and
couldn't feel the frustration that was just oozing out of him, and that he didn't
know that he didn't even much *like* his poor little boy. That poor kid didn't
even know how to go for a walk in the woods right. He just kept looking for
good sticks, and that was WRONG.

So after several comebacks from the dad batting away the really great
feedback of a dozen generous volunteers, he said the whole thing was a waste of time.

HOW WRONG for him.
Everyone who wrote benefited. Her own understanding deepened. She was a
better person for having given freely of her experience.
Those who were reading but not posting and who were undecided were benefited.
Everyone who read it, I'm guessing, felt an emotional reaction that either
made her feel a little guilty for having thought similar things, or maybe very
grateful for NOT having thought them lately or ever.

His child got a lot of sympathy from the readership, and the author (who had
all kinds of freedom to think, to restrain himself, to withhold information,
to edit before posting) was getting none.

What he wanted was for us to tell him he was right, he was doing a good job,
he was a great dad. It's not what he got. What he got was people saying his
kid was right, and a good kid, and needed a great dad.

But the very idea that we had no way of knowing anything about his situation
or what the level of regard for his child was was bigtime delusional on his
part.

If anyone wants to read that, if you go to the last entries, all the
original/previous show up at the top. If I send you to the first set, it won't show
later ones. It's here:

http://www.unschooling.com/discus/messages/41/934.html?FridayOctober1520040527
pm#POST106618
with the archives up top

And the last word (a good one!) was on Friday:
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Live in your son's world for awhile, really get to know who he is now. Stop
waiting for him to be who you want him to be.

Christy O
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Sandra