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In a message dated 10/10/04 5:14:48 AM, fetteroll@... writes:

<< I think what some people who have rejected conventional parenting and
are looking for something to replace it with hear is "Put yourself aside and
put your children first."
<<Which is no better! >>

I think as "better" and "worse" go, it's better.
It's still not perfect, but the balance should go toward the child in cases
of indecision, I think.

I've heard parents say they want a 50/50 deal with a child (or more often,
with a husband or a friend). Few relationships are 50/50 and none are 50/50 in
every aspect.

I do some car repair and Keith does some sewing, but neither of those is
50/50.

In matters of fun and food and sleep and what channel to watch, if an adult
will not give more than 50%, a child without skills and power will lose a lot.

What I have seen that was unFOREseen (for me, maybe not for everyone) is the
huge change in peace in progress that can come when parents DO attend heavily
to their child's whims and interests and curiosities.

Some of that is attested to here, by people who were so joyous they shared it
in public (many on this list, but not all):

http://sandradodd.com/list

Sandra