Seth W Bartels

>Maybe you could very gently talk to the people that you get >gifts
>from, and tell them that there are some things that the kids >really
>want to do that you really can't afford, and what the kids and >you
>really really want and even need, is for them to help out in >that
>direction. Also, you could mention that if they are paying for >a set
>of lessons, that it is going to be something that the kids are
>genuinely thankful for way past Christmas.


sounds ideal. :) i think i've been attempting this method of going about
it for the past three years (at least) to no avail. last year, my oldest
was in a super expensive dance class and she wanted to continue into the
spring, but we couldn't afford anymore (especially with the recital
costume fee coming due as well.) we appealed to the g-parents with this
plea and also a suggestion that she had expressed interest in a violin &
lessons. the IL's begrudgingly gave us some cash for the costume, but
made it clear that they had no intention of *supporting us*...they think
dh shouldn't have ever taken the life route he has (not finishing
college, marrying me, and having kids) and are really unsupportive of a
lot of our choices. they particularly feel like we're dumb to struggle
financially when dh *could* opt to drive OTR semi's and make a nice
living (and therefore, never be home again), or, at the very least, *i*
should have a job by now with the kids being old enough (6,4, &2?!)
anyways, they see giving these sorts of things to the kids as supporting
our *lazy lifestyle* and just won't do it. my mom helped out a little,
but just doesn't have enough to sponsor a whole session of anything. and
that's all of the people we have who give gifts to the kids. so, we
ended up being able to struggle through the rest of the year with the
dance class, but then we took a bit to recover from the expense and we
couldn't have afforded anything for anyone else.

in my perfect world, i could access talented people and trade services
for lessons. it kills me how something as simple as my dd's class was
could cost so much. the teacher's weren't exceptionally good with kids
and it was a very high pressure scene for a bunch of 4-5 year olds. i
don't have a clue what the appeal was. for my dd, she just wants to flit
around with other kids in pretty costumes. i'm not looking to train her
in ballet.

so, that's our gripe for the day :)
lisa

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Elizabeth Hill

**they particularly feel like we're dumb to struggle
financially when dh *could* opt to drive OTR semi's and make a nice
living (and therefore, never be home again), or, at the very least, *i*
should have a job by now with the kids being old enough (6,4, &2?!)
anyways, they see giving these sorts of things to the kids as supporting
our *lazy lifestyle* and just won't do it. **

Sorry about that! I would make the same choice you are, to stay home
and live on less money for more family time. (In fact, I think we are
doing that. :-) )

I would personally be fine with taking their Xmas presents and
exchanging them for cash, or something that you need, and then taking
the "found money" and applying it to lessons. But I know that that's an
unconventional approach and probably sounds tacky. (I'm a little riled
up about their negative attitude towards your choices.)

I have seen people swap baby-sitting or book-keeping services for
lessons. And there might be other ways to barter, if you check around.
Do any parks and recreation services charge on a sliding scale?

Betsy

Seth W Bartels

>I would personally be fine with taking their Xmas presents >and
exchanging them for cash, or something that you need, and >then taking
>the "found money" and applying it to lessons. But I know that >that's
an
>unconventional approach and probably sounds tacky. (I'm a >little
riled
>up about their negative attitude towards your choices.)

actually i made a practice of this when the kids were young. it led to a
rather uncomfortable exchange between my father and i when he found out
from my younger sister that i'd returned them to the store. he has
altogether stopped buying things for any of us since. i would feel bad
trying to do this with the things my mom or the IL's buy because they're
in town and give the gifts personally. besides, now that the kids are
older, i'm not sure how to work out convincing them to return these
gifts. i guess it'd have to be their choice. and all of this is very
dependent on the distinct possibility that nothing will have tags or
receipts.

>i've seen people swap baby-sitting or book-keeping services
>for
>lessons. And there might be other ways to barter, if you
>check around.

i guess i'd have to know the person running the class pretty well to get
into that kind of situation. this is ideally how i'd choose to approach
things! anyone have any stories of bartering for lessons?

>Do any parks and recreation services charge on a sliding
>scale?

not that i'm aware of. most of the classes offered through the park
district are geared towards older kids and adults, so i guess we'll cross
that bridge when it comes up (our kids are 6 1/2, 4, &2.) i know that
the YMCA offers special low income rates, but i haven't heard a lot of
good from the h.s.er's who have attended those classes, so i'm hesitant
to even bother. my kids want laid back types of things where they can
feel free to participate or not. that's pretty hard (if not impossible)
to find. any ideas for this sort of more freeform classes??

lisa

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pam sorooshian

On Oct 11, 2004, at 12:55 PM, Seth W Bartels wrote:

> anyone have any stories of bartering for lessons?

I did math activities (things from Math for Smarty Pants, I Hate
Mathematics Book, and Family Math) with my friend's sons and she gave
my girls violin lessons.

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Elizabeth Hill

** i guess i'd have to know the person running the class pretty well to get
into that kind of situation. this is ideally how i'd choose to approach
things! anyone have any stories of bartering for lessons?**

Hi, Lisa --

I have a friend who teaches group music lessons to kids 3-4 and 5-6.
When she first started teaching, her youngest child needed babysitting,
so she gave free lessons to a friend's daughter in exchange for the
babysitting. But, you are right, there was already a personal
relationship there.

When my son was in gymnastics, I know that there was one mom at the gym
doing receptionist and other office work in exchange for lessons. I've
heard of kids who are really into something like dance, that after
several years can be helpers with classes for younger kids, and they
usually get a break on their tuition if they do that.

My kid doesn't really like classes.

Did you post that your daughter just wants to twirl around in a costume
with other kids? Because maybe you could buy up some extra costumes
after Halloween and just invite a few kids over for a twirling date.
And you could do it more than once. (I don't really like classes
myself, either. I think they can be over-rated.)

** i know that
the YMCA offers special low income rates, but i haven't heard a lot of
good from the h.s.er's who have attended those classes, so i'm hesitant
to even bother.**

My son played indoor hockey for two session at the Y and I thought that
their emphasis on participation and sportsmanship was really nice. We
only gave up because he got tired of being hit in the shins with a
hockey stick! But I have no idea about the quality of dance
instruction. (Which is of course going to vary according to the talent
of each teacher.)

Betsy

pam sorooshian

On Oct 11, 2004, at 4:49 PM, Elizabeth Hill wrote:

> When my son was in gymnastics, I know that there was one mom at the gym
> doing receptionist and other office work in exchange for lessons.

Oh..I also have a friend who did the newsletter for a karate studio in
exchange for her son's karate classes.

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Seth W Bartels

>My kid doesn't really like classes.

i'm not sure if mine do either or if they just think they should! seems
like all the other kids in our homeschool group attend various classes,
so maybe they see it as being a way to be like someone they look up to?
my daughter also romanticizes the idea of being a ballerina (as so many
young girls do), but when she goes to class, seems disappointed that her
idea and the teacher's way of running the class aren't the same.

>Did you post that your daughter just wants to twirl around in >a costume

>with other kids? Because maybe you could buy up some extra >costumes
>after Halloween and just invite a few kids over for a twirling >date.
>And you could do it more than once. (I don't really like >classes
>myself, either. I think they can be over-rated.)

this would, again, be ideal in my mind. the problem comes directly where
you say *invite a few kids over.* she doesn't have but a couple friends
and they're all pretty busy, in school, and/or live quite a distance
away. i wish we could find a way to get her the purely social play time
with other kids more organically than by attending the homeschool group
outings since they all end up being less than we all are looking for.

>My son played indoor hockey for two session at the Y and I >thought that

>their emphasis on participation and sportsmanship was really >nice. We
>only gave up because he got tired of being hit in the shins >with a
>hockey stick! But I have no idea about the quality of dance
>instruction. (Which is of course going to vary according to >the talent

>of each teacher.)

lol...i can imagine that isn't a ton of fun! i don't think they have any
dance classes at the Y here...more like soccer and swimming and stuff
like that.

my aversion to the Y at this point stems from a conversation i overheard
at our last group get together. a dad was talking about this kid on his
daughter's team who *just wouldn't move* on the soccer field, etc. they
were really trashing this poor kid who was too shy to get into the game.
keep in mind that his daughter's just turned 5. my kids are all the slow
to warm up, shy variety and i'd hate to enroll them into a group that
pushes them to be who they're not. i guess i have to get over trying to
protect my kids from this sort of situation. i mean, really, it's me
anticipating a potentially traumatic outcome from something that probably
won't happen. :) i'm sure it has a ton to do with my own embarrassment
as a child...not being as coordinated as i'd like. if my daughter
expresses interest, maybe i'll look into signing her up and let her be
the guide. but i don't feel the need to toss the idea her way. i'm not
sure we could afford it anyway.

anyhow...thanks for the ideas! i guess i have some more research and
soul-searching to do. :)

lisa

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