J Allex

We actually had a similar problem here. After pulling my son out of ps, we realized our "A" student was actually almost 2 grades behind in math. We started out traditional homeschool, but quickly realized that wouldn't work for us. So while we were deschooling we talked about what he felt was necessary to learn for himself. We tried several different approaches until he found something he felt comfortable with. He still doesn't LOVE math, but since it is important to him to stay up in level with his peers, he will work on it. But the big shift for him was realizing that his education is really up to him, I won't force feed it to him. If he wants to stay up with his peers, that is his responsibility. I took myself out of the picture and just listen if he needs some help or is excited about figuring out something. I just order new materials when he needs them.

I don't know if that really helps you, good luck!
Jax



Message: 5
Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 23:26:33 -0400
From: "Rod Thomas"
Subject: behind ps kids

Ok Ive got one for you. After lots of reading and floundering, I tend
towards unschooling. But I have always believed in going slowly. When
they seem discouraged (math) I back off for a while. So, of course we
are behind in Math. Well, some kids laughed at my son because he was
"just learning fractions", and he was embarrassed. So, he comes to me
and tells me that it is all my fault because I didn't teach him in step
with what the other ps kids know.

This is the kid who fights me constantly on learning math, nearly
refuses to do it daily, and then complains its my fault he doesn't know
it.

What to do?
Kathy





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Rod Thomas

All replies were very similar, why hadn't I thought of this.

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of J Allex
Sent: Wednesday, May 04, 2005 10:48 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Digest Number 415


We actually had a similar problem here. After pulling my son out of ps,
we realized our "A" student was actually almost 2 grades behind in math.
We started out traditional homeschool, but quickly realized that
wouldn't work for us. So while we were deschooling we talked about what
he felt was necessary to learn for himself. We tried several different
approaches until he found something he felt comfortable with. He still
doesn't LOVE math, but since it is important to him to stay up in level
with his peers, he will work on it. But the big shift for him was
realizing that his education is really up to him, I won't force feed it
to him. If he wants to stay up with his peers, that is his
responsibility. I took myself out of the picture and just listen if he
needs some help or is excited about figuring out something. I just
order new materials when he needs them.

I don't know if that really helps you, good luck!
Jax



Message: 5
Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 23:26:33 -0400
From: "Rod Thomas"
Subject: behind ps kids

Ok Ive got one for you. After lots of reading and floundering, I tend
towards unschooling. But I have always believed in going slowly. When
they seem discouraged (math) I back off for a while. So, of course we
are behind in Math. Well, some kids laughed at my son because he was
"just learning fractions", and he was embarrassed. So, he comes to me
and tells me that it is all my fault because I didn't teach him in step
with what the other ps kids know.

This is the kid who fights me constantly on learning math, nearly
refuses to do it daily, and then complains its my fault he doesn't know
it.

What to do?
Kathy





________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________



------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links




------------------------------------------------------------------------




__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]







Yahoo! Groups Links

[email protected]

Dannette - I think I get it now. You're worried that Sara is having too much control over Maddy? So you need to figure out how to support Maddy when she doesn't feel like playing what (or how) the way Sara wants to play?

And it sounds like Maddy has worked out a way to have some control over the situation--she goes off by herself. Now if Sara could just figure out how to include more of Maddy's ideas in their play... then she wouldn't lose her playmate.

Deirdre


>
> Hi ,
> Thanks for the welcome. I am not sure I can put it into words. I
> guess I just mean that they spend ALOT of time playing "make believe"
> and while their game are really cool and I know they are learning I am
> sometimes afraid that the younger one doesn't get to do alot of what
> she is interested in because the older is very dominate. The only time
> they seperate is if they are not getting along and that is mostly
> because my younger( Maddy) is fed up with ( Sara's) control over all
> their games. Does that make any sense?
> Danette
> Sorry I son't know how to just highlight the part that I am responding
> to. Can anyone tell me hoe to do that?
>
>

Angela S.

<<<Dannette - I think I get it now. You're worried that Sara is having too
much control over Maddy? So you need to figure out how to support Maddy
when she doesn't feel like playing what (or how) the way Sara wants to
play?>>>

My kids are very close in age and when they were quite small, the younger
one did everything the older one told her to. As they grew a little older,
they younger one began to assert herself and not just follow along. When
that happened there was definitely some upheaval in the house. I just
talked to the older one repeatedly about taking turns and sharing and I
helped them to negotiate what they wanted with each other. Eventually they
learned how to negotiate what they wanted themselves. Just be there to help
them sort through things and help them to explain themselves to each other
and they will learn to do it on their own in time.



Meanwhile, make sure that if one of them wants time alone that you support
that and help the other one to understand it. <everyone is different> That
is also what my younger one did when she felt too bossed around. She still
enjoys playing alone sometimes, while my older dd prefers the company of
others for play.



Angela

* game-enthusiast@....



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

decjec

Hi Diedre,
Yes that is it. Also when trying to explain unschooling to DH ,who
is very supprtive of homeschooling-, he was very uneasy about it. He
is not a reader himself so I can't give him something to read on it
unless it is very short. Any suggestions?
Danette



-- In [email protected], <aycock@b...> wrote:
>
> Dannette - I think I get it now. You're worried that Sara is having
too much control over Maddy? So you need to figure out how to support
Maddy when she doesn't feel like playing what (or how) the way Sara
wants to play?
>
> And it sounds like Maddy has worked out a way to have some control
over the situation--she goes off by herself. Now if Sara could just
figure out how to include more of Maddy's ideas in their play... then
she wouldn't lose her playmate.
>
> Deirdre
>
>
> >
> > Hi ,
> > Thanks for the welcome. I am not sure I can put it into words. I
> > guess I just mean that they spend ALOT of time playing "make believe"
> > and while their game are really cool and I know they are learning I am
> > sometimes afraid that the younger one doesn't get to do alot of what
> > she is interested in because the older is very dominate. The only time
> > they seperate is if they are not getting along and that is mostly
> > because my younger( Maddy) is fed up with ( Sara's) control over all
> > their games. Does that make any sense?
> > Danette
> > Sorry I son't know how to just highlight the part that I am responding
> > to. Can anyone tell me hoe to do that?
> >
> >

decjec

Thanks Angela,
I really do love the goals and philosophy of unschooling. It will
just be hard for all of us to really let go of "schooling " and just
trust! This group will help, at least me !
Danette



--- In [email protected], "Angela S."
<game-enthusiast@a...> wrote:
> <<<Dannette - I think I get it now. You're worried that Sara is
having too
> much control over Maddy? So you need to figure out how to support Maddy
> when she doesn't feel like playing what (or how) the way Sara wants to
> play?>>>
>
> My kids are very close in age and when they were quite small, the
younger
> one did everything the older one told her to. As they grew a little
older,
> they younger one began to assert herself and not just follow along.
When
> that happened there was definitely some upheaval in the house. I just
> talked to the older one repeatedly about taking turns and sharing and I
> helped them to negotiate what they wanted with each other.
Eventually they
> learned how to negotiate what they wanted themselves. Just be there
to help
> them sort through things and help them to explain themselves to each
other
> and they will learn to do it on their own in time.
>
>
>
> Meanwhile, make sure that if one of them wants time alone that you
support
> that and help the other one to understand it. <everyone is
different> That
> is also what my younger one did when she felt too bossed around.
She still
> enjoys playing alone sometimes, while my older dd prefers the company of
> others for play.
>
>
>
> Angela
>
> * game-enthusiast@a...
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]