Please help me understand what you mean by this...
Pam
"Since your husband is not your son's father, he really has no say in how you educate your son."
If step-father is father to this son, just not biologically, why would he have no say in son's education?
If step-father is father to this son, just not biologically, why would he have no say in son's education?
Debra Rossing
A step parent may or may not have any legal standing with regard to the children involved. Some step parents choose to adopt their step children legally, which gives them a legal standing in regards to those children. Any input or 'say' goes only as far as the biological parent/legal guardian allows.
--Deb R
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
--Deb R
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ann
It also means that the step parent can walk away any given day and never look back. My husband has threatened to do this from the first year of our marriage. He has no legal obligation for the child's welfare what so ever if he walks out.
--- In [email protected], Debra Rossing <debra.rossing@...> wrote:
>
> A step parent may or may not have any legal standing with regard to the children involved. Some step parents choose to adopt their step children legally, which gives them a legal standing in regards to those children. Any input or 'say' goes only as far as the biological parent/legal guardian allows.
>
> --Deb R
>
>
> **********************************************************************
> This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
> intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
> are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
> the system manager.
>
> This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
> MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
>
> www.mastercam.com
> **********************************************************************
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Meredith
"Ann" <auntannies2002@...> wrote:
That doesn't sound like a good situation for finding a compromise. Some step parents are incredibly involved with their step kids and have warm relationships; they "adopt" the kids emotionally and become another parent - it wasn't really clear from your original post if that was the case or not. The relationship makes a big difference.
Having parented and unschooled with a divorce in the mix, I have a more equivocal attitude than some others - it's not necessarily worse to get divorced than stay together, although it can be complex and frustrating and take you far from your ideal life.
A lot of marriage counselling starts by asking couples to recall why they fell in love and got married. That could be a place to start working on your relationship, if you feel like there are reasons to maintain it. What do you love about this person? What about him is wonderful? When you begin to focus on the positive, that can make it easier to extend the benefits of unschooling to him, too.
If he really doesn't have much of a relationship with his stepson, though, I wouldn't even try to compromise on the subject of unschooling itself beyond looking for ways for everyone to live together peaceably. He doesn't get to quiz you son, he gets to make polite conversation, and you can help by feeding him topics the way you might with grandparents or family friends.
---Meredith
>***************
> It also means that the step parent can walk away any given day and never look back. My husband has threatened to do this from the first year of our marriage. He has no legal obligation for the child's welfare what so ever if he walks out.
That doesn't sound like a good situation for finding a compromise. Some step parents are incredibly involved with their step kids and have warm relationships; they "adopt" the kids emotionally and become another parent - it wasn't really clear from your original post if that was the case or not. The relationship makes a big difference.
Having parented and unschooled with a divorce in the mix, I have a more equivocal attitude than some others - it's not necessarily worse to get divorced than stay together, although it can be complex and frustrating and take you far from your ideal life.
A lot of marriage counselling starts by asking couples to recall why they fell in love and got married. That could be a place to start working on your relationship, if you feel like there are reasons to maintain it. What do you love about this person? What about him is wonderful? When you begin to focus on the positive, that can make it easier to extend the benefits of unschooling to him, too.
If he really doesn't have much of a relationship with his stepson, though, I wouldn't even try to compromise on the subject of unschooling itself beyond looking for ways for everyone to live together peaceably. He doesn't get to quiz you son, he gets to make polite conversation, and you can help by feeding him topics the way you might with grandparents or family friends.
---Meredith