Lora P

OK, when I typed that I left out some details because I hit a low spot.

First of all, thank you so much for the responses you have.

Here is the situation:

My boys are 12 and 9. I got a divorce from their father last year. When I say I have "kind of unschooled" it is because the boys have always had a lot of friends in school who do book work and they have always wanted to be like them. So my plan has always been to unschool them and I have done that with them for the most part, except for when they want to do book work and ask for help. The other issue is their father who is no longer in the house hounding me and his family hounding him and then me about where they are in comparison to their cousins,etc. and then of course he has a customer that used to be a principal at a school who said a lot of kids go from homeschool to public school in 6th grade and are "caught up" and then they are "fine."

Needless to say with the divorce, etc., our schedule has taken on some new dynamics and we are all trying to adapt. Our days consist of making our meals together (I know they are learning math), building tents, drawing and creative stuff all on what they have wanted. And now we have book time and computer time. They love the "work" they do on their computers, the books even though the desperately want to do the work is causing frustration.

I just needed to be reassured yet again that what I have chosen for them is the best path for us and reaffirm it in my gut.

Lora

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

I do not understand what is computer time and book time. Can you explain that?
Did your kids go to school or were they always homeschooled?
Is their dad OK with them unschooling?
Do they only have schooled friends? Do you all do things with other homeschoolers?|
How do you think unschooling works? When you think about it how do you think a good day for an unschooler should be?
What do you kids like to do?  

 
Alex Polikowsky

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

Sorry to cross-post this, but the stuff about divorce bears repeating:

"Lora P" <lcmpek@...> wrote:
>I got a divorce from their father last year.

Ahhhhhh, that's a big, important detail. Divorce can play havoc with
unschooling. It is not always possible to unschool as fully as you might like
across a divorce.

> I just needed to be reassured yet again that what I have chosen for them is
the best path for us and reaffirm it in my gut.
*******************

It may not be, if it is a source of conflict with the other parent. If
unschooling isn't fully supported by both parents (or at least one is saying
"You're in charge of education, you make the call") then it can set up one more
ugly situation where the kids are stuck in the middle. It's better to step back
from unschooling and focus on making your home a warm, loving haven for your
children than to use unschooling as a whipping post.

>>When I say I have "kind of unschooled" it is because the boys have always had
a lot of friends in school who do book work and they have always wanted to be
like them.
****************

A lot of the advice on this list won't be helpful for "kind of unschooling". You
might do better looking at resources for eclectic homeschooling.

Given that you've been "kind of unschooling" and your children's father isn't
happy with their education, I'd suggest you step away from unschooling entirely
and look into eclectic homeschooling in a serious way. You can certainly go on
working to make your life and home peaceful, to parent by principles rather than
by rules, but it doesn't seem like unschooling is a good fit for your family.

Unschooling hasn't always been a good fit for all of my family. I have a
stepson, and with split custody I've certainly dealt with a great many issues
around how much the other parent will allow. It Does Not Help to try and make a
stand around unschooling - your kids get hurt over and over if you do that. It's
much kinder to them to set them up to be easy and happy and comfortable when
they visit their other parent and his family.

---Meredith