Hello! This is my first experience and I'm nervous!
schooldzed
My son has been in such a terrible place for the past 7 years. We have been in and out of all kinds of schools, public and virtual alike.
I was introduced to Sandra Dodd and my mind was completely blown! I didn't think I could ever do something like what she was suggesting! It was just unheard of! Then my son had his final melt down.
Anthony is almost 13 years old and has had enough. I have too, but I'm still nervous about being out of my "element". School was all we've ever known.
I'm trying to learn, but it's uncomfortable. I'm floundering around, but I still know this is the best for my son. He has Aspergers and is a type 1 diabetic. He was tortured throughout school by bullies, and they weren't just the students! His teachers, for the most part, were TERRIBLE! I think he had maybe three teachers who were decent people and genuinely cared about his welfare.
Anyway, I am trying to take it one day at a time. My husband wants me to promise him "structure", but I don't see how I can ever do that. Not with this style. I think he just wants to be able to see something familiar because this has completely thrown him.
So, hi! I'm Gretchen and I'm a new unschooler! My son Anthony will do so much better now. I'm excited to start this new adventure with him! :)
I was introduced to Sandra Dodd and my mind was completely blown! I didn't think I could ever do something like what she was suggesting! It was just unheard of! Then my son had his final melt down.
Anthony is almost 13 years old and has had enough. I have too, but I'm still nervous about being out of my "element". School was all we've ever known.
I'm trying to learn, but it's uncomfortable. I'm floundering around, but I still know this is the best for my son. He has Aspergers and is a type 1 diabetic. He was tortured throughout school by bullies, and they weren't just the students! His teachers, for the most part, were TERRIBLE! I think he had maybe three teachers who were decent people and genuinely cared about his welfare.
Anyway, I am trying to take it one day at a time. My husband wants me to promise him "structure", but I don't see how I can ever do that. Not with this style. I think he just wants to be able to see something familiar because this has completely thrown him.
So, hi! I'm Gretchen and I'm a new unschooler! My son Anthony will do so much better now. I'm excited to start this new adventure with him! :)
Tova
Welcome!
I understand what your son must be going through as I was bullied by a teacher and severely by my principal when I was 15. I finally dropped out, much to my parents disapproval, about 16 because I couldn't take the abuse any longer. I wish I had known about unschooling and all the many resources and opportunities for young people who don't go to school.
Your son is so lucky! Unschooling is an amazing path for both child and parent. We've been predominantly unschooling for 11 years in our house.
I highly recommend 'The Teenage Liberation Handbook' by Grace Llewellyn. This is the best read on the subject in my opinion. It is a very useful and powerful book. It has chapters for each subject and recommendations on how to unschool them.
Best,
Tova
I understand what your son must be going through as I was bullied by a teacher and severely by my principal when I was 15. I finally dropped out, much to my parents disapproval, about 16 because I couldn't take the abuse any longer. I wish I had known about unschooling and all the many resources and opportunities for young people who don't go to school.
Your son is so lucky! Unschooling is an amazing path for both child and parent. We've been predominantly unschooling for 11 years in our house.
I highly recommend 'The Teenage Liberation Handbook' by Grace Llewellyn. This is the best read on the subject in my opinion. It is a very useful and powerful book. It has chapters for each subject and recommendations on how to unschool them.
Best,
Tova
--- On Fri, 11/11/11, schooldzed <gretchen@...> wrote:
From: schooldzed <gretchen@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Hello! This is my first experience and I'm nervous!
To: [email protected]
Date: Friday, November 11, 2011, 3:21 PM
My son has been in such a terrible place for the past 7 years. We have been in and out of all kinds of schools, public and virtual alike.
I was introduced to Sandra Dodd and my mind was completely blown! I didn't think I could ever do something like what she was suggesting! It was just unheard of! Then my son had his final melt down.
Anthony is almost 13 years old and has had enough. I have too, but I'm still nervous about being out of my "element". School was all we've ever known.
I'm trying to learn, but it's uncomfortable. I'm floundering around, but I still know this is the best for my son. He has Aspergers and is a type 1 diabetic. He was tortured throughout school by bullies, and they weren't just the students! His teachers, for the most part, were TERRIBLE! I think he had maybe three teachers who were decent people and genuinely cared about his welfare.
Anyway, I am trying to take it one day at a time. My husband wants me to promise him "structure", but I don't see how I can ever do that. Not with this style. I think he just wants to be able to see something familiar because this has completely thrown him.
So, hi! I'm Gretchen and I'm a new unschooler! My son Anthony will do so much better now. I'm excited to start this new adventure with him! :)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
"schooldzed" <gretchen@...> wrote:
For now, tell your husband your son needs a break so he can decompress and recover - it's true! "Structure" may or may not come later, but before you get to that, your whole family needs time to figure out what sorts of things your son Really needs. Maybe he needs a regular schedule. Maybe he needs a very tidy environment. Maybe he needs a watch and a calender and a day planner. Maybe he needs to go to anime conferences every six weeks ;) All of those are examples of different kinds of "structure" which might be helpful to a kid who need predictability and/or regularity. But you won't know any of that until you all have time to shake the dust of school out of your hair and relax a bit.
Despite the "one month deschooling for each year of school" rule-of-thumb, kids who have a rough time in school can take a good bit longer. We pulled Ray out of school at 13, and in some ways it was over a year before he was done deschooling. He needed a looooot of healing. It was probably two years before he had gone from "learning sucks" to "How can anyone learn Nothing for a whole day? It's not possible. Learning happens all the time."
I assume you've been to Sandra's site, but I'll post a good page for beginning unschoolers anyway, since there's bound to be someone else who's new ;)
http://sandradodd.com/beginning
---Meredith
> My husband wants me to promise him "structure", but I don't see how I can ever do that. Not with this style. I think he just wants to be able to see something familiar because this has completely thrown him.****************
For now, tell your husband your son needs a break so he can decompress and recover - it's true! "Structure" may or may not come later, but before you get to that, your whole family needs time to figure out what sorts of things your son Really needs. Maybe he needs a regular schedule. Maybe he needs a very tidy environment. Maybe he needs a watch and a calender and a day planner. Maybe he needs to go to anime conferences every six weeks ;) All of those are examples of different kinds of "structure" which might be helpful to a kid who need predictability and/or regularity. But you won't know any of that until you all have time to shake the dust of school out of your hair and relax a bit.
Despite the "one month deschooling for each year of school" rule-of-thumb, kids who have a rough time in school can take a good bit longer. We pulled Ray out of school at 13, and in some ways it was over a year before he was done deschooling. He needed a looooot of healing. It was probably two years before he had gone from "learning sucks" to "How can anyone learn Nothing for a whole day? It's not possible. Learning happens all the time."
I assume you've been to Sandra's site, but I'll post a good page for beginning unschoolers anyway, since there's bound to be someone else who's new ;)
http://sandradodd.com/beginning
---Meredith
Deb
Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're an incredible mom for taking this on with your son. I was absolutely brutalized in school beginning with a kindergarten teacher who pulled my hair all the time and resented me because I could already read fluently as I had learned at home when I was 4. I had humiliating experiences all through school to include high school. I ended up getting a job at 16 so I could afford to attend our church's school for the remainder of high school.
Bravo for you for taking him out when you knew he was miserable. I wish my parents would have had the option or the motivation to do the same for me as a child. Just relax for a while and enjoy being with your son. Go places with him, let him try new video games, join a sport or boy scouts or whatever he's into. Watch with wonder as eventuallly he comes out of his shell and starts learning all the time and everywhere he goes. You totally did the best thing for him so hang in there! You have all the support you could ask for here. There's another unschooling yahoo group called Alwayslearning....it's a bit more active and you may find some awesome stuff there, too. Also check out Sandra Dodd's website. She's kinda the unschooling guru and has LOTS of good stuff for all of us. Take care and please don't hesitate to email me off list. I'm at vwb777@....
Deborah Howard
Bravo for you for taking him out when you knew he was miserable. I wish my parents would have had the option or the motivation to do the same for me as a child. Just relax for a while and enjoy being with your son. Go places with him, let him try new video games, join a sport or boy scouts or whatever he's into. Watch with wonder as eventuallly he comes out of his shell and starts learning all the time and everywhere he goes. You totally did the best thing for him so hang in there! You have all the support you could ask for here. There's another unschooling yahoo group called Alwayslearning....it's a bit more active and you may find some awesome stuff there, too. Also check out Sandra Dodd's website. She's kinda the unschooling guru and has LOTS of good stuff for all of us. Take care and please don't hesitate to email me off list. I'm at vwb777@....
Deborah Howard
--- In [email protected], "schooldzed" <gretchen@...> wrote:
>
> My son has been in such a terrible place for the past 7 years. We have been in and out of all kinds of schools, public and virtual alike.
>
> I was introduced to Sandra Dodd and my mind was completely blown! I didn't think I could ever do something like what she was suggesting! It was just unheard of! Then my son had his final melt down.
>
> Anthony is almost 13 years old and has had enough. I have too, but I'm still nervous about being out of my "element". School was all we've ever known.
>
> I'm trying to learn, but it's uncomfortable. I'm floundering around, but I still know this is the best for my son. He has Aspergers and is a type 1 diabetic. He was tortured throughout school by bullies, and they weren't just the students! His teachers, for the most part, were TERRIBLE! I think he had maybe three teachers who were decent people and genuinely cared about his welfare.
>
> Anyway, I am trying to take it one day at a time. My husband wants me to promise him "structure", but I don't see how I can ever do that. Not with this style. I think he just wants to be able to see something familiar because this has completely thrown him.
>
> So, hi! I'm Gretchen and I'm a new unschooler! My son Anthony will do so much better now. I'm excited to start this new adventure with him! :)
>