Karen Kahn

I have a question about the "detox" period. We have been "homeschooling" with charter schools and have now chosen to leave it behind and truly unschool. After lurking on this list for a while, I'm seeing how I have to (want to) change a lot about how I've been interacting with my 2 sons (12 and 8), beyond the school/learning issue.

Having just lifted the restrictions on food and TV (I was one of those people who thought television was the Source for All Evil, followed by sugar consumption), my sons are glued to TV for hours now. Please tell me this is a phase and they'll grow bored with it! Has that happened to others? I'm looking for support in this process of trusting my wonderful children, even as they go off the deep end with zoning out to TV.

Thanks!
Karen


---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Michelle

Karen:

We are going through the same thing here. My son, 6, loves to watch TV. After leaving the restriction of what and how much he can watch behind, when we are home he is in front of the TV. So much so, that he does not want to leave it to eat. He has missed meals to continue to watch. This has been going on for about 2 months now. But I have noticed in the last few days a change. When he gets up in the morning now, he wants to play on the computer instead of going straight for the TV. He played for an hour and a half this am. I am active with a homeschool group, so we are out of the house 3-4 days a week. I see that he is learning from what he watches, and trust that he is getting what he needs from it at this time in his life. I am confident that this will pass, as he finds new things that interest him, and I try to make available things that I think he would like. I am learning to trust that he knows what is best for him and he is learning to trust that we will not impose
restrictions on him.

Michelle

Karen Kahn <[email protected]> wrote:
I have a question about the "detox" period. We have been "homeschooling" with charter schools and have now chosen to leave it behind and truly unschool. After lurking on this list for a while, I'm seeing how I have to (want to) change a lot about how I've been interacting with my 2 sons (12 and 8), beyond the school/learning issue.

Having just lifted the restrictions on food and TV (I was one of those people who thought television was the Source for All Evil, followed by sugar consumption), my sons are glued to TV for hours now. Please tell me this is a phase and they'll grow bored with it! Has that happened to others? I'm looking for support in this process of trusting my wonderful children, even as they go off the deep end with zoning out to TV.

Thanks!
Karen


---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT


---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links

To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dana Matt

he is in front of the TV. So much so, that
> he does not want to leave it to eat. He has missed
> meals to continue to watch. This has been going on
> for about 2 months now.

That's sad....can you bring his food to the TV? We
have trays that make eating in front of the TV an
almost mess-free occurance....
Dana
in Montana




__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger.
http://messenger.yahoo.com/

Dana Matt

Please tell me this is a phase and they'll grow
> bored with it! Has that happened to others? I'm
> looking for support in this process of trusting my
> wonderful children, even as they go off the deep end
> with zoning out to TV.
>
> Thanks!
> Karen

Karen, I may be no help, because I worship my TV :)
But I would suggest to anyone with TV problems....TIVO
is TV of the gods. Pause live TV, go eat, come back
and not miss a thing. Set it to record Kim Possible
EVERY DAY so you have them all on file and can pull
them up and watch your favorite, even when it's not
on. I know it's very liberating, not to have to worry
about the time and to be able to watch your favorite
show any time, day or night....Plus, if you have a
special interest in, say, ancient egypt or insects or
what have you, you put that name in and do a search,
and you can record all the shows about that as well!
So, think about it ;)

(I in no way profit from the TIVO company, lol)

Dana
from Montana
Humble Servant of the TV gods.....:D




__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger.
http://messenger.yahoo.com/

Wendy E

I am interested in hearing the seasoned unschoolers response to this.
It raises the question for me about limits. In my quest to
understand the whole homeschooling process I wonder about this....not
just with TV but with other things that might be not so good for them
or something that is potentially destructive or disruptive.

--- In [email protected], Michelle
<[email protected]> wrote:
> Karen:
>
> We are going through the same thing here. My son, 6, loves to
watch TV. > Michelle
>
> Karen Kahn <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
> Having just lifted the restrictions on food and TV (I was one of
those people who thought television was the Source for All Evil,
followed by sugar consumption), my sons are glued to TV for hours
now. >
> Thanks!
> Karen
>
>

Wendy E

I meant unschooling process.

--- In [email protected], "Wendy E" <[email protected]>
wrote:
> I am interested in hearing the seasoned unschoolers response to
this.
> It raises the question for me about limits. In my quest to
> understand the whole homeschooling process I wonder about
this....not
> just with TV but with other things that might be not so good for
them
> or something that is potentially destructive or disruptive.
>
> --- In [email protected], Michelle
> <[email protected]> wrote:
> > Karen:
> >
> > We are going through the same thing here. My son, 6, loves to
> watch TV. > Michelle
> >
> > Karen Kahn <[email protected]> wrote:
> >>
> > Having just lifted the restrictions on food and TV (I was one of
> those people who thought television was the Source for All Evil,
> followed by sugar consumption), my sons are glued to TV for hours
> now. >
> > Thanks!
> > Karen
> >
> >

Fetteroll

on 6/9/04 12:33 AM, Dana Matt at [email protected] wrote:

> I know it's very liberating, not to have to worry
> about the time and to be able to watch your favorite
> show any time, day or night

I second Tivo! I think a lot of the reason kids get glued to the TV after
restrictions is that they feel like if they don't watch it *now* it will be
gone.

(You'll have to check with you cable/satellite provider to see if they
supply access to the programing. In our area it's only $5 extra and it's an
awesome deal. You'll also need to buy the Tivo box. Ours only holds 30 hours
(which sounds like a lot but isn't even for us that keep deleting after we
watch) but it was only $100. And it's more convenient to save to tape from
the Tivo box.)

You can also buy entire seasons of some shows (and more coming out all the
time.)

Joyce

Fetteroll

on 6/9/04 2:45 AM, Wendy E at [email protected] wrote:

> In my quest to
> understand the whole homeschooling process I wonder about this....not
> just with TV but with other things that might be not so good for them
> or something that is potentially destructive or disruptive.

Yes, they do eventually slow down on the TV when they feel confidant that
they can turn it off and won't come back to find it limited again.

As for "potentially destructive and disruptive" when kids are given the
choice between doing things they like and things they don't like, they
choose things they like. When kids are give the choice between things they
are allowed to do and things they aren't allowed to do, "aren't allowed'
looks intriguing.

Have you ever seen a sign on a boring door that says "No Admittance" and
felt the urge to open it? If there were no sign you'd not give the door a
second glance. But that "No Admittance" sign makes it intriguing, like
there's something special back there that you can't have.

That's what happens when things are labeled "not allowed".

There are so many things I could feel justified in preventing my daughter
from doing because they might be damaging. But she hasn't been damaged by
things that people fear (TV, video games) and hasn't chosen things that are
damaging.

She's 12 and has always had the freedom to choose.

What is it that you fear?

Joyce

Michelle

We actually worked out some ideas that work for everyone. My husband wants to have sit down dinners, so we either tape the shows so he can watch what he missed later, or we agreed to do dinner later sometimes. This way it is not at the same time as the shows that are very important to him. Also, I do let him eat dinner in front of the TV. He likes to do this in my bedroom, on my bed, so it is when the food is not something that is going to make a huge mess on my bed. Spaghetti and soups just do not fly in my room, but pizza and sandwiches are great. My ds is happy with the solutions we have come up with, but has yet to watch anything we have taped. Too much on when he goes back to the TV to watch what was missed. I guess just knowing that if he wanted to he could is enough for him!!

Michelle

Dana Matt <[email protected]> wrote:
he is in front of the TV. So much so, that
> he does not want to leave it to eat. He has missed
> meals to continue to watch. This has been going on
> for about 2 months now.

That's sad....can you bring his food to the TV? We
have trays that make eating in front of the TV an
almost mess-free occurance....
Dana
in Montana




__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger.
http://messenger.yahoo.com/

Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT


---------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links

To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<<My husband wants to have sit down dinners, so we either tape the shows so
he can watch what he missed later, or we agreed to do dinner later
sometimes. This way it is not at the same time as the shows that are very
important to him. Also, I do let him eat dinner in front of the TV. He
likes to do this in my bedroom, on my bed, so it is when the food is not
something that is going to make a huge mess on my bed. Spaghetti and soups
just do not fly in my room, but pizza and sandwiches are great.>>>

Umm - were you meaning you "let" your HUSBAND eat dinner in front of the TV
in "your" bedroom?

It just seemed a startling thing to say, especially in light of the frequent
recommendation here to imagine saying to (or hearing from) one's spouse some
of the same things we say to our children unthinkingly.

Personally I hope no foods "fly" in the bedroom or there could be quite a
mess! ;)

Robyn L. Coburn

---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.692 / Virus Database: 453 - Release Date: 5/28/2004

Michelle

Sorry for the confusion. I let my SON eat dinner in my bedroom, which is his preferred place to watch dinner. Which is why there are some foods that I do not want eaten in there.

Michelle

Robyn Coburn <[email protected]> wrote:
<<he can watch what he missed later, or we agreed to do dinner later
sometimes. This way it is not at the same time as the shows that are very
important to him. Also, I do let him eat dinner in front of the TV. He
likes to do this in my bedroom, on my bed, so it is when the food is not
something that is going to make a huge mess on my bed. Spaghetti and soups
just do not fly in my room, but pizza and sandwiches are great.>>>

Umm - were you meaning you "let" your HUSBAND eat dinner in front of the TV
in "your" bedroom?

It just seemed a startling thing to say, especially in light of the frequent
recommendation here to imagine saying to (or hearing from) one's spouse some
of the same things we say to our children unthinkingly.

Personally I hope no foods "fly" in the bedroom or there could be quite a
mess! ;)

Robyn L. Coburn

---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.692 / Virus Database: 453 - Release Date: 5/28/2004







Yahoo! Groups Links






---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Karen,
I understand what you're going through, believe me! I was raised without tv, convinced that it was this awful form of communication that rotted your brain.
HMPHF!

My mind has obviously been changed.:)
A few years ago, when we went through the whole "detox" period, I thought my kids would never do anything else. It was mainly my oldest, who had the most controls in his life, that had problems walking away.
It took about a year...
And you know what?
He's still a bright, creative, wonderful individual...tv did nothing to alter that. I figured a year of tv as a child, was better than as an adult! Now his life is full of many different topics of interest, tv holds no power over him, but he still enjoys it immensely.
He's probably learned more from tv, than any other form of communication.

The best advice I got when dealing with my fears and frustrations, was to sit down and watch it with them! To get interested in the shows they like, talk about them, BE together. It showed my kids I was not the enemy where tv was concerned, and it opened up their world to me in a new way. It was another thing to connect over, not create conflict.
The other thing that I had to learn, was to make good options available more readily. If tv is the most interesting thing available in the house, then it just shows how intelligent the child is for choosing the most attractive option! So I tried to make sure we had some bubbly, fun things going on here and there, to make myself feel better. They gravitated back to the tv fairly quick though.

The other thing that helped me, was to see the tv as a learning opportunity, not something I needed to get them away from.
Once I saw the whole wide world as potential learning tools, I no longer felt stressed when they needed a lot of television. It was just another way they were learning. And learn they did!

So....hang in there. Trust that your child is doing exactly what they need to for the time being. I can honestly say, 3.5 years later, that it was one of the best things I ever did. It has led to more joyful unschooling, better relationships and much learning. I have learned more than anyone probably, about letting go of my need to control and what a wonderful tool television really can be.

Ren

Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/

Michelle

You know, I read this earlier this morning, and shot back an answer
to it immediatly. Then I have been thinking about it all morning.
Thinking "how can that be sad. It was his choice to miss the meal".
It just hit me how very sad it is!! He missed a meal because we had
not come up with a solution that was meeting his needs. He felt he
had no other option but to miss a meal. As a family we have come up
with other options to this problem, that do not involve my son
missing a meal. Dana, thank you so very much for pointing this out
to me!!

Michelle, learning more every day

--- In [email protected], Dana Matt
<[email protected]> wrote:
> he is in front of the TV. So much so, that
> > he does not want to leave it to eat. He has missed
> > meals to continue to watch. This has been going on
> > for about 2 months now.
>
> That's sad....can you bring his food to the TV? We
> have trays that make eating in front of the TV an
> almost mess-free occurance....
> Dana
> in Montana
>
>
>
>
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger.
> http://messenger.yahoo.com/

Naturally Organic

I know it's very liberating, not to have to worry
> about the time and to be able to watch your favorite
> show any time, day or night

I second Tivo! <<

We really should get paid for this <G> I LOVE TiVo. Personally, I don't like tv. The noise alone pushes me right to the brink of insanity. ;-) Given my irritation by the television, dh was quite surprised when I suggested a TiVo. I must say it's the best television related purchase ever. I really despised feeling like what we needed to do was on hold because there was a "we HAVE to watch this!" show on. Now, just hit record. Freedom! I love it. Plus ff through all the commercials is a major plus.

Tanya


---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

<<<Please tell me this is a phase and they'll grow
bored with it! Has that happened to others? I'm
looking for support in this process of trusting my
wonderful children, even as they go off the deep end
with zoning out to TV.>>>

oohh TV....

We are huge tv watchers, we have 3 right now, used to have 6. :)
we have vcrs, dvds, video games,(we are waiting to be able to afford tivo, my dad has it and he records and then tapes things he thinks we would all like.) It's pretty frequent that all 3 tvs are on all day.

The kids don't zone out in front of it, they are often coloring, reading, playing, dancing, jumping on the trampoline, painting, building, wrestling, building forts, eating, dozing, running...should I go on...the tv is there and is another one of the hundreds of fun things that are at their fingertips each and everyday.

The list of things that we have all learned from tv and movies is huge. The discussions that have been sparked and lasted for minutes to months are innumerable. Tha passions discovered, the humor that has be understood, the words learned, the songs sung, the dances danced, the thoughts thunk....

whew....

I think the outlook of the parents towards tv will come into play alot during this time, have you completely let go our your tv=evil thing? When you can enjoy tv(maybe not as much as we do) I think you will see the benifits of your son watching, and not look at it as something he needs to grow board of and out grow.

~Rebecca, another servent of the tv gods ;)
--
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
-Calvin

[email protected]

<<<other things that might be not so good for them
or something that is potentially destructive or disruptive.>>>

Like what?

~Rebecca
--
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
-Calvin

[email protected]

This is a phase and they will grow bored with it.

Or not.

You may end up with a TV in every room like us.

And yet -- life is good and learning happens. :)

Hint: Around here, the TV is never more attractive than the beach! :)

Nance


In a message dated 6/9/2004 4:19:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
Please tell me this is a phase and they'll grow bored with it! Has that
happened to others?


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Hmm. . . I guess I don't think of the TV as potentially destructive, etc.

As John Stewart said the other day: "It's just a box."

Nance (OK, I realize quoting the host of the Daily Show probably doesn't
sound very authoritative . .. :) )


In a message dated 6/9/2004 4:19:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
....not
just with TV but with other things that might be not so good for them
or something that is potentially destructive or disruptive.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Wendy E

I never said I "feared" anything. I also never said anything about
not being "allowed" to do anything. My inquiry was (and remember...I
was not the original poster re: TV, I was thinking more about
limits...is that the wrong term?... in general) "things that might be
not so good for them (too much TV might be an example...it's not
really an issue for us, I don't have any TV problems...another may be
sugar intake, staying up too late...running into the street???)or
something that is potentially destructive or disruptive (Examples of
this might be painting on the living room wall or picking all the
flowers in the neighbors garden or waking up houseguests a 6oclock in
the morning by running into the bedroom and jumping on the
bed....these things, painting and picking flowers and jumping on the
bed are all things I have no problems with...but implemeting limits
on how and when they should be done seems appropriate and that's what
I mean by disruptive or destrictive). I ask these questions because
I have a very free-spirited out of the box kind of kid (he would
paint himself green and run down the street naked if I let him...ok,
he has done this...really...)...many times the way he does things are
a bit out of the ordinary and I struggle with letting him be who his
is and showing him some basic aspects of social appropriateness. Is
there a balance here? Am I using the wrong language when I say
limits?...do some kids need a little extra guidance when it comes to
these things? My 2 yo seems to already naturally get the "being
aware of other people and things" and my 5yo is more in his own word
(more implusive and moves to the beat of his own drum). OK, I'm
rambling but I guess what I am looking for is a little advice on
keeping this unique personality intact....I don't want him to conform
to the world necessarily, I want the world to accept him as he
is...and since working with him is more feasable than working with
the whole world, I want to help him figure out ways to be accepted,
KWIM? I really don't want to get into a big semantics exchange here
either so I hope I don't get an anwer back like "why does the world
have to accept him?"....the "whole" world doesn't. I just want him
to have the skills to avoid his and other people's frustration in
some social situations. Well, I really went off here...will be
interesting to see the responses I get...lol

--- In [email protected], Fetteroll <[email protected]>
wrote:
> on 6/9/04 2:45 AM, Wendy E at [email protected] wrote:
>
> > In my quest to
> > understand the whole homeschooling process I wonder about
this....not
> > just with TV but with other things that might be not so good for
them
> > or something that is potentially destructive or disruptive.
>
> Yes, they do eventually slow down on the TV when they feel
confidant that
> they can turn it off and won't come back to find it limited again.
>
> As for "potentially destructive and disruptive" when kids are given
the
> choice between doing things they like and things they don't like,
they
> choose things they like. When kids are give the choice between
things they
> are allowed to do and things they aren't allowed to do, "aren't
allowed'
> looks intriguing.
>
> Have you ever seen a sign on a boring door that says "No
Admittance" and
> felt the urge to open it? If there were no sign you'd not give the
door a
> second glance. But that "No Admittance" sign makes it intriguing,
like
> there's something special back there that you can't have.
>
> That's what happens when things are labeled "not allowed".
>
> There are so many things I could feel justified in preventing my
daughter
> from doing because they might be damaging. But she hasn't been
damaged by
> things that people fear (TV, video games) and hasn't chosen things
that are
> damaging.
>
> She's 12 and has always had the freedom to choose.
>
> What is it that you fear?
>
> Joyce

Valerie

My son, 6, loves to watch TV. After leaving the restriction of what
and how much he can watch behind, when we are home he is in front of
the TV. So much so, that he does not want to leave it to eat. He
has missed meals to continue to watch. > Michelle

****** Laurie, who was also glued to (at different times) tv,
computer, books, Barbie dolls in pioneer clothing, music, etc would
forget to eat when involved with her BBS. I'd fix a plate of veggies
or salad stuff and set it in front of her and walk away. Sometimes
she wouldn't even notice me setting it down, but eventually she'd
see it and eat.

love, Valerie

Valerie

>
> Have you ever seen a sign on a boring door that says "No
Admittance" and felt the urge to open it?

******There's a picture somewhere of me going in a Men's bathroom.
The women's side was full and no one was in the men's side. Women
were standing there squirming but refusing to break the rules. HA!
After I went in and came out with a smile they went in too.

love, Valerie (rule breaker)

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/8/2004 11:05:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

Having just lifted the restrictions on food and TV (I was one of those
people who thought television was the Source for All Evil, followed by sugar
consumption), my sons are glued to TV for hours now. Please tell me this is a
phase and they'll grow bored with it! Has that happened to others? I'm
looking for support in this process of trusting my wonderful children, even as they
go off the deep end with zoning out to TV.<<<<<


It's a phase, and they'll grow bored of it-----but NOT until you lose your
fear of it. Your fear is emitted through your pores too! Not just your voice!
This is the deschooling ourselves that we talk about a lot. You're going to
have to *believe* it's not evil! Really.



I've been thinking about this all morning. There's a conversation on the
message boards about tv too. There we've been criticized for being anti-book,
when actually we're just pro-tv. We're NOT anti-book----in fact I'd guess ALL
of us are avid readers! It's just that we don't denigrate tv as evil and make
books "godly".



It's been called "book worship"---when the value of books is raised to
incredible heights. Books are no more, and no LESS, valuable in our home than
anything else. A hundred years ago, a book *might* be the most valuable
possession a family owned. I doubt I could even guess the number we own now---and many
are in *anything* but pristine condition.



These days and times, we just have many more things that are just as
stimulating, as inspiring, and as thought-provoking as books. TV, movies, games,
computers---even our backyard! is often more stimulating than many books.



Also, for young children: I've seen a lot of clammer that young children
should not be exposed to tv or computers. I have a really hard time with that.
I read articles all the time about how bad they are.



Let's say that everyone should have an apple a day----that was all the rage
a few decades back. Apples are nutritious, crunchy, good for the teeth.
Problem is that the very young and the very old---and a few hockey players---CAN'T
eat apples. No teeth. Applesauce is ok, but NOT as good as apples because it
isn't crunchy, lots of vitamins are lost, you can't carry it around, you
need a spoon, etc.



TV (and computers) is similar to applesauce, in that books are deemed better
(by somebody). But children, who can't read, can STILL be wowed by so much
information, movement, songs, stories, math, science, history, geography,
philosophy, cooking, vocabulary....everything! from tv!



Even children who CAN read---as well as adults and old farts----can absorb
SOOO much cool information withOUT books. It's right there! Why does it come
across as evil? It's just another way to gather information. And it's
ESPECIALLY handy for pre-readers! They can pick up so many words and see places
they've never been, animals they've never seen.



How is this evil?



How is it even remotely bad?



As we get older, as we see more tv, it becomes just another source of
information and entertainment. My bee hives are JUST as fascinating---to me! But to
a child, tv is often HUGELY informational and entertaining. As it should be.


Nevertheless, the facination often wanes as other things become more
interesting. My 16 year old (who spent 18 MONTHS just watching tv, sleeping, eating,
and talking on the phone as he deschooled) now rarely watches anything but
"Whose Line is it Anyway" and maybe "Family Guy" (with his little brother).



He's just too busy with his other interests.



It's hard, with all the brainwashing that's been done to us, to believe that
tv isn't evil. There have even been several books written about the
*dangers* of tv. But when you look at it as just another information/entertainment
source, it BECOMES just another information/entertainment source.



Back off. Watch *with* them. Pick up knitting or macrame if the sitting
bothers you. TV's just another cool way to learn about our world. But you have to
believe that!



Or fake it 'til you make it! <g>



~Kelly














[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/9/2004 3:29:34 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

....not
just with TV but with other things that might be not so good for them
or something that is potentially destructive or disruptive.<<<<<<


Ouch.


Like what?


Can you be more specific?


~Kelly







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Wendy E

see my other post Limits was...re:TV

--- In [email protected], [email protected] wrote:
> In a message dated 6/9/2004 3:29:34 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> [email protected] writes:
>
> ....not
> just with TV but with other things that might be not so good for
them
> or something that is potentially destructive or disruptive.<<<<<<
>
>
> Ouch.
>
>
> Like what?
>
>
> Can you be more specific?
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Valerie

Examples of this might be painting on the living room wall

****We're about to rip down all of the old paneling in this house
and I can't wait to see again all of the paintings that Laurie and
her friends did when they were young. They covered EVERY wall in the
house with paints, crayons, chalk. One niece was so schooled that
all she could think of to put on the wall was math problems.

I ask these questions because I have a very free-spirited out of
the box kind of kid (he would paint himself green and run down the
street naked if I let him...ok, he has done this...really...)

*****I love it!

I just want him to have the skills to avoid his and other people's
frustration in some social situations.

*****I didn't make Laurie say "please, thank you" etc and that would
really burn some of the southern ladies up. I can't remember Laurie
being frustrated by other people not accepting her the way she was;
she seemed oblivious to their opinions until she got much older.
Laurie was also very precocious in her speaking and for some reason
that irked adults. She didn't want to discuss toys with adults; she
wanted to discuss whatever the adults were talking about. On her
second birthday she didn't want to wear the pretty little dress that
Mom got her and sit 'like a lady', she wanted to wear her jeans and
boots and listen to rock n roll.

I guess none of these things is really disruptive (unless you're my
mom) but at those times I made sure I didn't appear to be upset (and
I wasn't upset) by anything she did. I let the other adults know
that what she did, how she did it and when was fine with me. I
supported her uniqueness.

love, Valerie

Deb Lewis

***It's just that we don't denigrate tv as evil and make books "godly".
***

I think TV being considered bad is directly related to school and
homework and chores.

TV interested kids in a way their text books and reading assignments
could never do. TV was infinitely more interesting than taking out the
trash or mowing the lawn. It couldn't be that school and homework and
chores were stupidly boring and time wasting and dull, so it had to be
that TV was corrupting otherwise decent kids into laziness and dismal
school performance.

After hearing it so many times over so many years lots of people accept
it as true. Experts tell us it's true. They've studied lots and lots of
school kids who'd rather watch TV than do their homework. <g>

In the 1800's when dime store novels first appeared they were evil, too.
They were corrupting young people to all kinds of wickedness. Some kids
even read dime store novels instead of doing school work. Shameful.

Deb Lewis

Valerie

now rarely watches anything but
> "Whose Line is it Anyway" and maybe "Family Guy" (with his little
brother).

******I didn't watch any tv for years; I just didn't have the time.
Now, we're all through with our stuff and ready to sit down at 9pm
to watch Whose Line. It's the only thing I watch, but I GOTTA have
it!

love, Valerie


Dana Matt

Just some practical ideas...

We have trays that we eat on, and they have lips and
hold a variety of goop, even if it's spilled and
played in....

Plus, is a meal is going to be super-duper-messy,
like...say, BBQ ribs or...well, whatever, then a bath
towel goes beneath the tray, and that holds any
splatters that made it off the tray.

We almost exclusively eat in bed, or on the floor of
the play room, and this keeps beds and floors clean.

As far as crumbs go, we just sweep out the bed before
retiring at night...

Dana

--- Michelle <[email protected]> wrote:
> Sorry for the confusion. I let my SON eat dinner in
> my bedroom, which is his preferred place to watch
> dinner. Which is why there are some foods that I do
> not want eaten in there.
>
> Michelle





__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger.
http://messenger.yahoo.com/

Dana Matt

> (You'll have to check with you cable/satellite
> provider to see if they
> supply access to the programing. In our area it's
> only $5 extra and it's an
> awesome deal. You'll also need to buy the Tivo box.
> Ours only holds 30 hours
> (which sounds like a lot but isn't even for us that
> keep deleting after we
> watch) but it was only $100. And it's more
> convenient to save to tape from
> the Tivo box.)
>
> You can also buy entire seasons of some shows (and
> more coming out all the
> time.)
>
> Joyce
>

We just switched from Direct TV to Dish network,
because I found a great deal on their DVR's (same as
Tivo)....we got three DVR's, each with 100 hours! Now
we never fill them up! Hooray! And we got all the
machines for free, just have to pay for programming
each month!
Dana




__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger.
http://messenger.yahoo.com/