crystal rid

I think I am beginning to understand...but I am sure I have a long way to go. Unschooling is way more hard to figure out then homeschooling. Basically ins hooking is less about how you educate your child and more about the way you believe they should be allowed to grow up? Its about giving thm as many options as possible in their daily lives, treating them as you would another adult. Asking their input, not demanding or ordering but questioning. Giving them control within reason. I believe it was Joyce who said live as if you re on vacation. So yesterday I tried that. My daughter had speech (a have to...at least for now). She made no complaints about going and after speech my other daughter asked to go on a treasure hunt. So we went on a treasure hunt to the bank (another have to) where I learned that was not the treasure could we please go get an ice cream cone for treasure? So by driving alternate routes and giving them unusual makes we
arrived at the treasure. After ice cream my daughters asked to go to the park so we did. We couldn t stay as long as they wanted but we found a nice compromise and no one left unhappy. We then had to stop at the post office but everyone enjoyed it because they were the reason we had to go and they all got to go in. Later I was collecting dirty clothes and began gathering them in my daughters room. She knew I was but when she came in. She thanked me for cleaning (which I hadn t been) but when she sat down and started helping I helped her clean her room. And when she told me she didn t like something I listened to her. Depending on what it was she either gave it to her sisters or put it in a trash bag to get rid of. I have no idea if they learned anything but I sure did. As I lay in bed thinking over the day I realized that I learned a lot about my daughters.
Daughter #1- the bank isn t the treasure because even though I got money they didn t, she might be 11 but when not pressured into acting her age in town she very much enjoys sitting in the window at the ice cream parlor playing what can you see.
Daughter#2-has a difficult time cleaning when told to clean your room or clean up this mess but happily pitches in to help clean her room if I start (even if that wasn t what I was doing). She doesn t like big toys in her room and seems to prefer a handful of nice toys to a lot of stuff. She wants a special place just for her and wants a special place to keep her treasures.
Daughter #3-has always cried a lot. Even now she cries often no tears just noise. I think it may be because as the youngest of my older children she gets left out a lot and most likely needs extra attention. She is very attached to the memory of a kitten she had a couple years ago ands says she loves it best in all the world. I knew this but finally realized she may need another orange kitten like she s been asking for. We are picking up an orange mama cat with 4 orange babies this afternoon. They are 2 weeks old.

As for today my oldest wants to go to a yard sale. I think I will give her a few dollars spending money since she wont hardly ask for anything. I may take them to the childrens museum (its small and didn t seem worth the admission prise to me but both my oldest have been asking to go. They seem to think its amazing. Plus we will be picking up the cat and kittens. I also have an old toaster oven that only partly works. I think I will put it on the table with some tools and let them know its OK if they would like to take it apart.

So am I beginning to get it? Anyone have any suggestions for what I could have done or could do?

diana jenner

> Unschooling is way more hard to figure out then homeschooling.
>
Only for the grownups ;) We're all born knowing how to be passionate about
the world, we've had more time to forget and need time to remember :D
It's a lot more work than homeschooling, a lot more internal examination
(especially of our motivations), a lot more connectedness between people.


> Basically *unschooling* is less about how you educate your child and more
> about the way you believe they should be allowed to grow up? Its about
> giving thm as many options as possible in their daily lives, treating them
> as you would another adult.
>
Not as an adult; more as a fellow human being, human-with-less-experience,
person worthy of patience and respect, a guest you invited into your life:
whichever phrasing clicks for you and helps you remember ;)
Kids are still kids, they have only a limited experience as citizens of this
planet, as members of your family! A coach, a tour-guide, that's who will
make a difference to their life-navigation skills.
Maybe they only get a childhood, maybe they only get a brief time with you -
I want every moment to count, either as a joyful moment or heading towards
joyful moment, to create memories beyond my own childhood imagination <3


> Asking their input, not demanding or ordering but questioning. Giving them
> control within reason. I believe it was Joyce who said live as if you re on
> vacation. So yesterday I tried that. My daughter had speech (a have to...at
> least for now). She made no complaints about going and after speech my other
> daughter asked to go on a treasure hunt. So we went on a treasure hunt to
> the bank (another have to) where I learned that was not the treasure could
> we please go get an ice cream cone for treasure? So by driving alternate
> routes and giving them unusual makes we
> arrived at the treasure. After ice cream my daughters asked to go to the
> park so we did. We couldn t stay as long as they wanted but we found a nice
> compromise and no one left unhappy. We then had to stop at the post office
> but everyone enjoyed it because they were the reason we had to go and they
> all got to go in. Later I was collecting dirty clothes and began gathering
> them in my daughters room. She knew I was but when she came in. She thanked
> me for cleaning (which I hadn t been) but when she sat down and started
> helping I helped her clean her room. And when she told me she didn t like
> something I listened to her. Depending on what it was she either gave it to
> her sisters or put it in a trash bag to get rid of. I have no idea if they
> learned anything but I sure did. As I lay in bed thinking over the day I
> realized that I learned a lot about my daughters.
>
That's the heart of unschooling, for me: relationship with a fleeting child.
Childhood is such a blip of time! Why not a big, happy childhood? Adulthood
lasts far longer, we get more time to practice BEing an adult.
Sweet story, I'm glad you took the opportunity to connect. They probably
learned all kinds of things about you, too, like how you really want to know
them, how you're brave enough to change, how you're just plain nice enough
to play along and pay attention :)

~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.wordpress.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], crystal rid <cryway2@...> wrote:
>Its about giving thm as many options as possible in their daily lives, treating them as you would another adult.
***************

Certainly giving them the same regard as you would another adult - treat their feelings and needs the way you would an adult's. Kids are still kids, though, and often need quite a bit more help and consideration than adults.

The other thing to know is that there are reasons why all this giving of options and respecting children is helpful - and those reasons revolve around human nature, around the way we learn. People don't need outside pressure to learn because human beings enjoy learning as part of our nature. So living joyfully, having option, being respectful, those things promote learning without any need for a curriculum or learning agenda.

>>As I lay in bed thinking over the day I realized that I learned a lot about my daughters.
**********

Getting to know my kids better is one of the things I adore about unschooling. Its great! I get to be their partner rather than the Big Bad Boss Mama. I learn so much from them - and over time I've seen them learn amazing things. Its a great way to live.

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)

crystal rid

I realize I know a lot about my daughters but I never stop to think about it or to wonder what did _______teach me today. Or how can I help her better. Our plans were slightly chanded today because my oldest was able to buy a new dresser and bedside table at the first yard sale we went to. Which has nesscesitated furniture moving and rearranging today. But with that came hand me down toys and furniture for the two younger girls and we still got mama kitties and kittens (who did you know act just like baby brother, they cry when you wake them up ). So everyone is happy even if my allergies are going haywire from being so close to a cat.

On Thu May 13th, 2010 12:32 PM CDT plaidpanties666 wrote:

>--- In [email protected], crystal rid <cryway2@...> wrote:
>>Its about giving thm as many options as possible in their daily lives, treating them as you would another adult.
>***************
>
>Certainly giving them the same regard as you would another adult - treat their feelings and needs the way you would an adult's. Kids are still kids, though, and often need quite a bit more help and consideration than adults.
>
>The other thing to know is that there are reasons why all this giving of options and respecting children is helpful - and those reasons revolve around human nature, around the way we learn. People don't need outside pressure to learn because human beings enjoy learning as part of our nature. So living joyfully, having option, being respectful, those things promote learning without any need for a curriculum or learning agenda.
>
>>>As I lay in bed thinking over the day I realized that I learned a lot about my daughters.
>**********
>
>Getting to know my kids better is one of the things I adore about unschooling. Its great! I get to be their partner rather than the Big Bad Boss Mama. I learn so much from them - and over time I've seen them learn amazing things. Its a great way to live.
>
>---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>

crystal rid

I find the more days we practice unschooling the more I see it coming together. The people accross the street were having an estate sale and my oldest wanted to go so we went. She found an antique dresser she fell in love with and the lady took significantly less for it to sell it to my daughter for what she could afford. Then after getting it in her room she remembered they had a bed frame and went to see about it. To make a ling story short my 11 year old daughter bought complete new bedroom furniture bed and all plus a lamp and nicknacks ( all antiques) for 73.00. Now she is dreaming and planning of how she will decorate her room. Asked me to take her to thrift stores and yard sales yesterday where she picked up a few more antique nicknacks and a couple of decorating books for about 3.00. It has all just come together in a way that I see she is learning lots but it is all stuff I would never have thought to teach her. It will lead into sewing
too because she is asking for curtains but when I said it might be a while before I can make them she said she wants to make them. So much learning about something I would never have thought to teach.

On Thu May 13th, 2010 12:14 PM CDT diana jenner wrote:

>> Unschooling is way more hard to figure out then homeschooling.
>>
>Only for the grownups ;) We're all born knowing how to be passionate about
>the world, we've had more time to forget and need time to remember :D
>It's a lot more work than homeschooling, a lot more internal examination
>(especially of our motivations), a lot more connectedness between people.
>
>
>> Basically *unschooling* is less about how you educate your child and more
>> about the way you believe they should be allowed to grow up? Its about
>> giving thm as many options as possible in their daily lives, treating them
>> as you would another adult.
>>
>Not as an adult; more as a fellow human being, human-with-less-experience,
>person worthy of patience and respect, a guest you invited into your life:
>whichever phrasing clicks for you and helps you remember ;)
>Kids are still kids, they have only a limited experience as citizens of this
>planet, as members of your family! A coach, a tour-guide, that's who will
>make a difference to their life-navigation skills.
>Maybe they only get a childhood, maybe they only get a brief time with you -
>I want every moment to count, either as a joyful moment or heading towards
>joyful moment, to create memories beyond my own childhood imagination <3
>
>
>> Asking their input, not demanding or ordering but questioning. Giving them
>> control within reason. I believe it was Joyce who said live as if you re on
>> vacation. So yesterday I tried that. My daughter had speech (a have to...at
>> least for now). She made no complaints about going and after speech my other
>> daughter asked to go on a treasure hunt. So we went on a treasure hunt to
>> the bank (another have to) where I learned that was not the treasure could
>> we please go get an ice cream cone for treasure? So by driving alternate
>> routes and giving them unusual makes we
>> arrived at the treasure. After ice cream my daughters asked to go to the
>> park so we did. We couldn t stay as long as they wanted but we found a nice
>> compromise and no one left unhappy. We then had to stop at the post office
>> but everyone enjoyed it because they were the reason we had to go and they
>> all got to go in. Later I was collecting dirty clothes and began gathering
>> them in my daughters room. She knew I was but when she came in. She thanked
>> me for cleaning (which I hadn t been) but when she sat down and started
>> helping I helped her clean her room. And when she told me she didn t like
>> something I listened to her. Depending on what it was she either gave it to
>> her sisters or put it in a trash bag to get rid of. I have no idea if they
>> learned anything but I sure did. As I lay in bed thinking over the day I
>> realized that I learned a lot about my daughters.
>>
>That's the heart of unschooling, for me: relationship with a fleeting child.
>Childhood is such a blip of time! Why not a big, happy childhood? Adulthood
>lasts far longer, we get more time to practice BEing an adult.
>Sweet story, I'm glad you took the opportunity to connect. They probably
>learned all kinds of things about you, too, like how you really want to know
>them, how you're brave enough to change, how you're just plain nice enough
>to play along and pay attention :)
>
>~diana :)
>xoxoxoxo
>hannahbearski.wordpress.com
>hannahsashes.blogspot.com
>
>
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>