Socialization Question
mumspreciousones
Our son has just turned 6 and we live in a small town. He is happy, self assured and a gorgeous boy, he does get bored sometimes but has a wonderful imagination & always comes up with something to do out of anything he finds. My question is socialization.... He has a hands on 19 yr old sister at home (plus Mum and Dad) and he sees people when we are at the shops etc and then has a playdate with 3 children 5,7,10 once a month who he loves playing with. Is this sufficient socialization do you think???
Up until a year ago we went to church and he had socialization there, and bullying as well!! However since then we have not had anymore than the once a month socialization with kids his own age.
Are we disadvantaging him by only having this limited time with children? I have had comments from friends, neighbours and family lately regarding his socialization. He loves playing with the children and is always into it, usually glad when theyve gone and to have his space back as he needs that. He doesnt ask to play more often - and its unlikely we could arrange it more often.
Thoughts please :)
Thanks, Camille
Up until a year ago we went to church and he had socialization there, and bullying as well!! However since then we have not had anymore than the once a month socialization with kids his own age.
Are we disadvantaging him by only having this limited time with children? I have had comments from friends, neighbours and family lately regarding his socialization. He loves playing with the children and is always into it, usually glad when theyve gone and to have his space back as he needs that. He doesnt ask to play more often - and its unlikely we could arrange it more often.
Thoughts please :)
Thanks, Camille
Jessica B
What about pen pals and internet chatting, perhaps skype on video camera, or just phone relationships. I have a six year old son, Isiah, perhaps the two of them could chat once in a while. Just food for thought, I know it is not person to person but it is still at least learning to communicate within his peer group.
Jessica
Jessica
Tina Tarbutton
I also interested in this. My 10 y/o very social child just lost his best
(and basically only) friend in the neighborhood over some bad teasing that
was going on. We are working on other ways to get him involved with the
local homeschooling kids, but my partner and I work full time, so it's very
difficult.
Does anyone know of any unschoolers chats for kids, or homeschooling chats,
or maybe a place where we can match kids by interests for skype/AIM/Gmail
chats?
Tina
(and basically only) friend in the neighborhood over some bad teasing that
was going on. We are working on other ways to get him involved with the
local homeschooling kids, but my partner and I work full time, so it's very
difficult.
Does anyone know of any unschoolers chats for kids, or homeschooling chats,
or maybe a place where we can match kids by interests for skype/AIM/Gmail
chats?
Tina
On Sat, Apr 10, 2010 at 5:46 PM, Jessica B <usinlove@...> wrote:
>
>
> What about pen pals and internet chatting, perhaps skype on video camera,
> or just phone relationships. I have a six year old son, Isiah, perhaps the
> two of them could chat once in a while. Just food for thought, I know it is
> not person to person but it is still at least learning to communicate within
> his peer group.
>
> Jessica
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "mumspreciousones" <morlingfamily@...> wrote:
Its good to think about what you mean by "socialization". Its kind of a throwaway word that gets used to mean "kids should be in school"! If he seems to need more time to socialize with more people, then by all means look for other ways for him to do that. If you're concerned that he needs to learn social skills, the best place to do that is at home, where he can have a chance to try out ways of getting along in a supportive environment. Other (younger) kids aren't supportive!
Is there a reason for that beyond non-homeschoolers saying the only thing they know to say? If he's having a hard time getting along with other kids, then he may need more of your help in person. If he's having a hard time getting along with other adults, he may need to spend less time with pushy adults!
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>Is this sufficient socialization do you think???A better question is what does *he* think - does he seem like he's craving more companionship? And if so, is it from people his own age or different ages? Many kids are perfectly happy having mostly older people to socialize with.
Its good to think about what you mean by "socialization". Its kind of a throwaway word that gets used to mean "kids should be in school"! If he seems to need more time to socialize with more people, then by all means look for other ways for him to do that. If you're concerned that he needs to learn social skills, the best place to do that is at home, where he can have a chance to try out ways of getting along in a supportive environment. Other (younger) kids aren't supportive!
>> I have had comments from friends, neighbours and family lately regarding his socialization.**********
Is there a reason for that beyond non-homeschoolers saying the only thing they know to say? If he's having a hard time getting along with other kids, then he may need more of your help in person. If he's having a hard time getting along with other adults, he may need to spend less time with pushy adults!
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], Jessica B <usinlove@...> wrote:
There's an underlying assumption here that comes from the way schools group children - the idea that a "peer group" is somehow related to age. But in real life, that's not how people relate to one another, not even children. People form groups based on interests. Very young children often have similar interests due to development and a limited world-view, but by six most kids have distinct interests. Skype is a good idea (if its available to you) but might be better in relation to a shared interest of some kind - video games, for instance, are a big big point of connection for many people.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>it is still at least learning to communicate within his peer group.Jessica, you made a sweet offer, and I don't want to diminish that, just to comment on this part, above.
There's an underlying assumption here that comes from the way schools group children - the idea that a "peer group" is somehow related to age. But in real life, that's not how people relate to one another, not even children. People form groups based on interests. Very young children often have similar interests due to development and a limited world-view, but by six most kids have distinct interests. Skype is a good idea (if its available to you) but might be better in relation to a shared interest of some kind - video games, for instance, are a big big point of connection for many people.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
Paul & Camille
Hi Meredith,
He doesnt have a need to be with other kids that he has expressed. I
think once quite some time ago he said, lets go and play with some other
kids and we organized a meeting, other than that hes never mentioned it.
He does get on well with kids and adults and he is spoken too and
acknowledged by all the people in the shops etc in our small town - it is
good because they know us and he is responded to as a person rather than
an annoying child which can happen in cities etc. His socialization has
come to my attention from people who would feel much better if he was in
school. Neither my husband or I have a problem with how he is with others
- he can be very protective with 'his belongings' when other children come
to visit - he looks after his stuff and there are certain things that he
doesnt want others to touch which we usually put up high. He can be a bit
bossy however that is part of his nature, he is a typical Aries thats for
sure :)
So to answer your question, it is more other people getting at me, rather
than us feeling he is missing out. I believe that he has good social
skills. He can be shy around forceful adults, but he is very friendly and
responsive otherwise. He has surprised me at how he will join in with
kids that he doesnt know in ball games etc when they become available.
Thank you for your input as it has made me realise that I am feeling this
way due to other peoples comments and input rather than anything else.
Camille :)
He doesnt have a need to be with other kids that he has expressed. I
think once quite some time ago he said, lets go and play with some other
kids and we organized a meeting, other than that hes never mentioned it.
He does get on well with kids and adults and he is spoken too and
acknowledged by all the people in the shops etc in our small town - it is
good because they know us and he is responded to as a person rather than
an annoying child which can happen in cities etc. His socialization has
come to my attention from people who would feel much better if he was in
school. Neither my husband or I have a problem with how he is with others
- he can be very protective with 'his belongings' when other children come
to visit - he looks after his stuff and there are certain things that he
doesnt want others to touch which we usually put up high. He can be a bit
bossy however that is part of his nature, he is a typical Aries thats for
sure :)
So to answer your question, it is more other people getting at me, rather
than us feeling he is missing out. I believe that he has good social
skills. He can be shy around forceful adults, but he is very friendly and
responsive otherwise. He has surprised me at how he will join in with
kids that he doesnt know in ball games etc when they become available.
Thank you for your input as it has made me realise that I am feeling this
way due to other peoples comments and input rather than anything else.
Camille :)
[email protected]
This sort of answers itself --
"He doesnt ask to play more often - and its unlikely we could arrange it more often."
Unless you are going to put him in school full time. For that fabulous "socialization."
As he gets older, he may develop interests that involve rubbing elbows with others his age or with his interests. Which may end up in play dates or hanging out. And those relationships may come and go or somebody may click as a friend beyond the immediate interest. Or he may want to participate in an activity just to hang out with the guys -- a sport or club of some kind.
But if he's happy now, I'd tell the relatives/etc. to back off, that you are all enjoying life and don't feel compelled to spend time with heaps of people you haven't specifically chosen to be with.
Nance
"He doesnt ask to play more often - and its unlikely we could arrange it more often."
Unless you are going to put him in school full time. For that fabulous "socialization."
As he gets older, he may develop interests that involve rubbing elbows with others his age or with his interests. Which may end up in play dates or hanging out. And those relationships may come and go or somebody may click as a friend beyond the immediate interest. Or he may want to participate in an activity just to hang out with the guys -- a sport or club of some kind.
But if he's happy now, I'd tell the relatives/etc. to back off, that you are all enjoying life and don't feel compelled to spend time with heaps of people you haven't specifically chosen to be with.
Nance