Marla

Last year, my then-5 yo. wanted a cell phone for Christmas. I gave it some thought and decided to get her a pair of cell phone walkie-talkies instead. She said they were o.k., but that she still wanted a real cell phone. Throughout the year she kept reminding me that she wanted a real cell phone.

So, this year I gave it some thought and decided that I would get a cheap go-phone and one month of minutes(if anyone knows the cheapest way to go about this, let me know - lol). None of her friend's has a cell-phone, not even her 10 yo. sister (who doesn't even want email). The only people she might call would be her grandma, her aunt, and maybe a friend or twos house. I'm kind of hoping that she'll enjoy it the first week and then tire of it - lol. She doesn't even talk on our phone much. I am going to let her know that we will pay for the first month and then she can use her allowance if she wants to continue with it.

My dh says there is no way she is getting a phone. That he hears all these stories about his co-workers kids ringing up incredible bills for talking and especially texting (my 6 yo. can barely read let alone write - lol). He feels that it's a waste of money.

I would appreciate others input.

Thanks!

Marla

Amy

If it's important to her it's not a waste of money. Get her a prepaid cell phone. It will have a finite number of minutes that she won't be able to go over.

We had planned on getting both our 5 and 7 yr olds phones for Christmas. We ran into the snag that the smart phones they want now have a monthly fees of $30 dollars each in addition to the regular $10 dollars a month for the phone service. $80 a month for the kids to have cell phones is out of our budget range. We are trying to find a way for them to get the phones they want and still have it only cost us the $10 each a month for the service.

My kids don't really go anywhere without us. They are always with either us or their grandparents BUT it's important to them. Also, I think texting might be a really fun way to learn to read and write.

Love and Laughter,

Amy

snugglebugg.com/sagepixie














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Three Mommies

Our 9yr old has been asking for a cell phone for a while too. (and now the
6yr old is wanting one) We just got him one a few days ago. We also waited
and listened to see if it was a passing thing or not, but he asked for a
good three months, so I knew he really really wanted it. It costs me $10 a
month for another line. I told him he would have to pay for it out of his
allowance and that it was a two year commitment that he couldn't back out
of. I do have a few old cell phone's laying around. So, if he does
loose/break his I can replace it, even if it isn't as cool a phone as the
Chocolate Touch. (which is so cool!!)

I was also nervous about him running up a huge bill. We are on Verizon and
we get 10 free numbers who are not Verizon. So I put a few friends of his
who are not on Verizon or their house phones on the free list. We are also
lucky in that a lot of the people he wants to call are on Verizon. I only
put those phone numbers who are free on his phone. So if he wants to call a
number that will cost minutes I can know because he has to ask for the
number then I can help him keep the minutes to a reasonable amount.

I blocked texting and internet and downloading. He and I both know his self
control isn't the best and when we talked about it he agreed that it was
good idea even though those things just look so cool. I offered him that he
could pay for those too, but he declined wanting to use the rest of his
allowance for other things.

I know you can get phones that you can restrict what numbers it calls. Then
you would know that she couldn't call lots of numbers randomly.

I had offered him a pay as you go phone. He really wanted the real deal.

And there are some really good sales going on right now. He got the
Chocolate Touch for free. It has an MP3 player and FM radio.
(again...cool!!)

Hope that helps with some of Ken's concerns,

good luck,

Esther

http://3mommies.blogspot.com


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Faith Void Taintor

Sent from my iPhone

On Dec 16, 2009, at 10:16 PM, "Marla" <marla@...> wrote:

> Last year, my then-5 yo. wanted a cell phone for Christmas. I gave
> it some thought and decided to get her a pair of cell phone walkie-
> talkies instead. She said they were o.k., but that she still wanted
> a real cell phone. Throughout the year she kept reminding me that
> she wanted a real cell phone.
>

***that's a long time to consistently want something. That's real
persistence.
>
>
> So, this year I gave it some thought and decided that I would get a
> cheap go-phone and one month of minutes(if anyone knows the cheapest
> way to go about this, let me know - lol)
>

***that seems to make good sense. A small child can't be expected to
care for an expensive phone.

> None of her friend's has a cell-phone, not even her 10 yo. sister
> (who doesn't even want email).
>

***it's about her needs. Not her needs bring reasonable compared to
her sister or peers.

> The only people she might call would be her grandma, her aunt, and
> maybe a friend or twos house. I'm kind of hoping that she'll enjoy
> it the first week and then tire of it - lol. She doesn't even talk
> on our phone much.
>

*** I would support her interest as though it will last forever or
help her find other interests. She can thoroughly enjoy this!

> I am going to let her know that we will pay for the first month and
> then she can use her allowance if she wants to continue with it.
>
>
***that sounds less like a gift. I pay for my dd's cell phone every
month. I do it because it is an important tool for her.

> My dh says there is no way she is getting a phone.
>

*** you may need to listen and hear him out. He cares about his child
as well. Discussion might help come to an amiable soultion.

> That he hears all these stories about his co-workers kids ringing up
> incredible bills for talking and especially texting (my 6 yo. can
> barely read let alone write - lol). He feels that it's a waste of
> money.
>

*** Supporting an interest is never a waste of time. She can't rack up
anything on a prepaid phone. Though you may want to check. When my dd
first was upgraded to a data plan we didn't do it right. Luckily the
company changed it. But I wish I would have looked thoroughly. The
bill was shocking!
>
> I would appreciate others input.
>
> Thanks!
>
> Marla
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenna Robertson

We've used a T-mobile To Go phone as our only family cell phone for years..  You can get them for as little as $18:00 and since the minutes are prepaid there's no worry of large bills.  When my eldest turned 13 she wanted something more than the Go phone and needed the option of texting.  Her grandmother could put her on their plan for $10 and w/ unlimited texting and access to the family plan's free minutes.  Since teens tend to text, not talk, that option worked really well for her and it gave her a great connection w/ her grandmother.  Obviously she's older and understands she can't call too often, but can text all she wants.
 
I think a simple pay as you go phone would be an fantastic option for a 6 year old.  However, as someone mentioned, there are phones out there made for younger kids and you program in the numbers they can call and it's made very safe.  If finances aren't limited you might look into that option :).Verizon has the Migo which is marketed for kids ages 5-9.   Here are some other options including prepaid kid phones:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16044093/
 
:)
Jenna

 
 
 
"If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I would ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life."
               - Rachel Carson


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

theburkemommy

The main thing I want to mention is that I wouldn't discount or ignore your husband's input/feelings/stance on the matter. Going against a partner is not good for a marriage.

Before I made any decision to go forward with the phone, I would need my husband to be on board with it. I suggest sitting down with him and putting it all on the table--suggestions, feelings, reasons, etc. I would be careful to make sure he feels heard and understood.

If there is a phone that is available that would monitor minutes/texts with the internet disabled, maybe he would be on board with it. Maybe do a little research and find a phone that you think he would approve of before talking to him.

I understand that your daughter's desires are important, but so are your husband's concerns.

Debra Rossing

From the time DS was 5, when we got our first cell phones (me and DH), we'd ask on occasion if he wanted one too - usually when we were heading to the phone store to upgrade phones, change plans, whatever. One thing we did early on was to set the first speed dial number (2) on each phone to call the other (so DH's phone 2+dial button calls me, on my phone 2+dial button calls DH) that way if DS needed to get one of us quickly he could (DH and DS are home during the day while I'm at work - I wanted DS to be able to call me if DH got hurt or something). Then, when we were at unschooling conferences, we'd have DS take one phone and one of us had the other and he could always get us (for instance, if he wanted to stay in the toy/play room and DH and I were at a funshop or talk, provided of course that DS was okay with us being someplace else for 30 minutes or whatever - and we had a whole process/plan that we used/use for those type situations). DS liked it because he was still 'connected' even if we were some yards away. As he got a little older (8-9), he would text us quick bits like "come here" or "where are you" - easier to handle texting if there's background noise. Then, last year (he was 10 ½), we were again heading to the phone store - the antenna area of DH's cell phone had cracked, among other things, so we went in for our free upgrades. And, as usual, asked DS if he wanted a phone. He pondered a bit then said Yes, I think it would be useful now. So, okay, he now has a shiny red phone. None of us have the fancy 3G/4G does everything but cook dinner phones - we can call, text, take and send pix (which is one of the reasons we originally got phones - so that I could see what kinds of adventures they were having during the day). And, now that we do craft fairs many times per year, it's quite handy that DS has his own phone - he can roam the event, text us if he finds something cool that he wants us to see, he can even stay home for short times when we're not too far away. Other than that, he doesn't much use his phone; he's definitely not using it to call Mongolia or whatever. It can access the Internet but it's super slow - his laptop is way faster access to the Internet. Maybe, someday, he'll ask for a phone that can do all sorts of fancy stuff. Odds are, by then, he'll be grown and doing his own thing.

Deb R


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plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], Faith Void Taintor <littlemsvoid@...> wrote:
>>> I am going to let her know that we will pay for the first month and
>>> then she can use her allowance if she wants to continue with it.
> >
> >
> ***that sounds less like a gift. I pay for my dd's cell phone every
> month. I do it because it is an important tool for her.
*************************

This is one of those places where allowances and budgets get complicated, in my life anyway, because our finances are soooooo slim. At some point, there's just no more room in the budget - and I mean none whatsoever, not "I'd have to pull it from savings" or "I'd have to forgo a trip to Starbucks". So I can relate to the idea that certain things come out of a kid's allowance in that sense, when its the only money that's not otherwise allocated.

There have been weeks where I haven't given Mo an allowance at all, or given her half the usual, because that was all there was after expenses. Right now I'm not giving allowances at all, in fact, since I'm on a temporary (I hope) layoff, and I'm not sure if we'll go back to the same system once I'm working again. It seems like its pretty confusing for Morgan, rather than helpful, so I'm sort of playing the matter by ear. I don't know if the variability is part of the issue or not, but I think the bigger trouble is that its such a small amount that its really hard to save up for things she wants. I know that's something other parents have mentioned in the past, that it helps when there's enough allowance money for kids to be able to spend a little *and* save too, but that's not one of the options available in my life right now. Some weeks, there's not enough for either.

I haven't mentioned Ray in all this have I? While we do pay for certain things for him on a regular basis, we haven't been giving him any kind of cash allowance, have been relying on him being able to do paid work for his own money. He regularly makes more than I could afford to give him. I'm not altogether happy about that (I mean, I'm glad he has money at all, but wish there were more I could give). In a sense, you could say that those things we pay for Ray are his "allowance" or budget or what-have-you.

I'm always reluctant to post these sorts of details, frankly, because so often when I hear/read parents saying "we don't have money" for some kid desire they really Do have the money, its just allocated somewhere else - savings, most commonly, but sometimes other non-essentials. Its good to re-evaluate what's in the budget from time to time and see where money does go, when kids are asking for more, because there are issues of personal baggage that get tied up in deciding what's "necessary" and what's "optional".

At the same time, though, I do want to recognize that not all families have the same financial resources. I'm always amazed at the resources I Do have! and the things I Can give and do for my kids, but they aren't dollars and cents resources, that's for sure.

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)

Frances Kaufman

I don't want to get on anyones bad side, I did just join your group, but I was curious why no one has mentioned the dangers of cellphones to developing brains? I read a report about how they've banned cell phone use for kids youger then 14 in some parts of Europe. I can find some reports if any one wants me too. 

Frances Kaufman

--- On Thu, 12/17/09, theburkemommy <theburkemommy@...> wrote:

From: theburkemommy <theburkemommy@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: 6 yo. dd wants cell phone for xmas, DH says no way
To: [email protected]
Date: Thursday, December 17, 2009, 4:57 AM
















 









The main thing I want to mention is that I wouldn't discount or ignore your husband's input/feelings/ stance on the matter. Going against a partner is not good for a marriage.



Before I made any decision to go forward with the phone, I would need my husband to be on board with it. I suggest sitting down with him and putting it all on the table--suggestions, feelings, reasons, etc. I would be careful to make sure he feels heard and understood.



If there is a phone that is available that would monitor minutes/texts with the internet disabled, maybe he would be on board with it. Maybe do a little research and find a phone that you think he would approve of before talking to him.



I understand that your daughter's desires are important, but so are your husband's concerns.






























[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Faith Void Taintor

I was specifically talking about the wording. I'm not sure of the OP
specfic finanaces. The wording left me feeling off. I feel like gifts
shouldn't have strings attached. It sounded to me more like a value
judgement. ---here's the phone you wanted but you have to pay for
it.--- that may not have been the OPs intention.

Ours are not great, very similar to Meredith's at the moment. However,
we chose to afford the $10 a month for Malila's cell phone because
it's important to her.

Our children aren't getting an allowence or discretionary money right
now. Dh has his own new biz. We pay bills, mortgage,
essentials...first. We got them as low as we could manage. Then if and
when their is any over necessities we have a little meeting. We
consult our vision board and divide the money.

Easy wants a phone but the money isn't there. Even if we get a free
phone we don't have an extra $10 to allocate right now. It's the way
it is.

Faith

Sent from my iPhone

On Dec 17, 2009, at 12:03 PM, "plaidpanties666" <meredith@...>
wrote:

> --- In [email protected], Faith Void Taintor
> <littlemsvoid@...> wrote:
> >>> I am going to let her know that we will pay for the first month
> and
> >>> then she can use her allowance if she wants to continue with it.
> > >
> > >
> > ***that sounds less like a gift. I pay for my dd's cell phone every
> > month. I do it because it is an important tool for her.
> *************************
>
> This is one of those places where allowances and budgets get
> complicated, in my life anyway, because our finances are soooooo
> slim. At some point, there's just no more room in the budget - and I
> mean none whatsoever, not "I'd have to pull it from savings" or "I'd
> have to forgo a trip to Starbucks". So I can relate to the idea that
> certain things come out of a kid's allowance in that sense, when its
> the only money that's not otherwise allocated.
>
> There have been weeks where I haven't given Mo an allowance at all,
> or given her half the usual, because that was all there was after
> expenses. Right now I'm not giving allowances at all, in fact, since
> I'm on a temporary (I hope) layoff, and I'm not sure if we'll go
> back to the same system once I'm working again. It seems like its
> pretty confusing for Morgan, rather than helpful, so I'm sort of
> playing the matter by ear. I don't know if the variability is part
> of the issue or not, but I think the bigger trouble is that its such
> a small amount that its really hard to save up for things she wants.
> I know that's something other parents have mentioned in the past,
> that it helps when there's enough allowance money for kids to be
> able to spend a little *and* save too, but that's not one of the
> options available in my life right now. Some weeks, there's not
> enough for either.
>
> I haven't mentioned Ray in all this have I? While we do pay for
> certain things for him on a regular basis, we haven't been giving
> him any kind of cash allowance, have been relying on him being able
> to do paid work for his own money. He regularly makes more than I
> could afford to give him. I'm not altogether happy about that (I
> mean, I'm glad he has money at all, but wish there were more I could
> give). In a sense, you could say that those things we pay for Ray
> are his "allowance" or budget or what-have-you.
>
> I'm always reluctant to post these sorts of details, frankly,
> because so often when I hear/read parents saying "we don't have
> money" for some kid desire they really Do have the money, its just
> allocated somewhere else - savings, most commonly, but sometimes
> other non-essentials. Its good to re-evaluate what's in the budget
> from time to time and see where money does go, when kids are asking
> for more, because there are issues of personal baggage that get tied
> up in deciding what's "necessary" and what's "optional".
>
> At the same time, though, I do want to recognize that not all
> families have the same financial resources. I'm always amazed at the
> resources I Do have! and the things I Can give and do for my kids,
> but they aren't dollars and cents resources, that's for sure.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], Faith Void Taintor <littlemsvoid@...> wrote:
>> Easy wants a phone but the money isn't there. Even if we get a free
> phone we don't have an extra $10 to allocate right now. It's the way
> it is.

Out of curiosity, where do you (and anyone else who mentioned this) get a cell phone for $10/mo? Is it because its an "extra" phone on your account or is it a paid card thing? We're just starting to look into cell phones here (we've only recently been able to get service in our holler!) in part because one of the resources I do have is an extra structure on my property which has become Ray's house, and its starting to be important for him to have a phone of his own. I've seen cheapo phones at places like dollar stores, and we may get one for travelling, but I'm wondering about other options.

Since this is kind of off topic, feel free to email me directly, or give me a shout on facebook if you're over there.

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)

Faith Void Taintor

Personally I think the pay as you go are a huge waste of money unless
you truly don't use them. They cost a lot per minute, roughly 0.40$
per minute. Fine for emergencies but not conducive to use as a phone,
kwim?

We have a 'family plan'. We've used several companies over the years
and all have had this. We pay a base rate contingent apon the minutes
available to our family collectively each month. I believe plans start
at about $50. We use a slightly higher (but not much plan since we
don't have a land line). This includes two phones. Then it is $10 per
month for each additional phone up to 5.

For an additional fee of $20 we have unlimited text and photo
messaging for everyone on our plan. This saves us minutes as M texts,
A LOT! Typically you get free mobile to mobile for all calls within
the same carrier. ie we aren't charged minutes to other ATT users.

Also you get nights and weekends free so we all utilize that. M almost
always waits until after 9 to chat. Day calling is for things that are
time sensative.

All in all we don't pay more than $10 a month more than we'd pay if
she wasn't on our plan. The minutes she uses are small so we don't
need higher usage plan.

And M has has a cell since she was 8. We don't have a land line and
she wanted to start staying home. We've never had issues with usage
that couldn't be worked out.

I think a cell is a pretty basic need these days. It just doesn't seem
frivolous if you can afford it.

Faith

Sent from my iPhone

On Dec 17, 2009, at 3:11 PM, "plaidpanties666" <meredith@...>
wrote:

> --- In [email protected], Faith Void Taintor
> <littlemsvoid@...> wrote:
> >> Easy wants a phone but the money isn't there. Even if we get a free
> > phone we don't have an extra $10 to allocate right now. It's the way
> > it is.
>
> Out of curiosity, where do you (and anyone else who mentioned this)
> get a cell phone for $10/mo? Is it because its an "extra" phone on
> your account or is it a paid card thing? We're just starting to look
> into cell phones here (we've only recently been able to get service
> in our holler!) in part because one of the resources I do have is an
> extra structure on my property which has become Ray's house, and its
> starting to be important for him to have a phone of his own. I've
> seen cheapo phones at places like dollar stores, and we may get one
> for travelling, but I'm wondering about other options.
>
> Since this is kind of off topic, feel free to email me directly, or
> give me a shout on facebook if you're over there.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], Frances Kaufman <frances.kaufman@...> wrote:
>
> I don't want to get on anyones bad side, I did just join your group, but I was curious why no one has mentioned the dangers of cellphones to developing brains?
*********************

If that's a concern of yours, its useful to think about those potential dangers in terms of just how and how much your child is actually likely to use the phone - do you anticipate your child holding hour long conversations or doing other things: texting, checking email, playing games, using the camera? To some extent, those questions can be answered pretty simply if you don't have the funds for unlimited minutes, anyway!

Its just as useful to consider how much you use your own phone and how that can impact your relationship with your child. If you chat on the phone regularly, but try to tell your child "its not safe for you to do this" then you undermine your own credibility as a source of useful information (plus, you're modelling phone use as a primary way to connect with others, which might not be the message you really want to send). So if you are concerned about the dangers of cell phone use, its better to work on changing your own behavior.

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)

Faith Void Taintor

Sent from my iPhone

On Dec 17, 2009, at 12:26 PM, Frances Kaufman
<frances.kaufman@...> wrote:

> I don't want to get on anyones bad side, I did just join your group,
> but I was curious why no one has mentioned the dangers of cellphones
> to developing brains? I read a report about how they've banned cell
> phone use for kids youger then 14 in some parts of Europe. I can
> find some reports if any one wants me too.
>
> Frances Kaufman
>
>
>

***I'll leave it to Meredith to post about reading for a bit first :-)

I don't find any conclusive evidence supporting this fear. I don't
typically try to keep my kids safe by retricting them. I find that
doesn't work.

Plenty of things in our modern society aren't safe. Plenty of things
in antequated society wernt safe either. Living a rich varied life
isn't safe.

My kids are about to go to fighter practice through SCA. We've been
researching a lot about the medieval period from that interest. It's
pertainent to this because even with all the scary techno stuff in our
world, even with all the news story fear promotion our world is
decidely safer.

Part of what I feel is important in unschooling is to open the world
up to your kids. Not throw everything at them but find what they need.
Find ways to make things possible instead of reasons to control and
make their world smaller and more sheltered.

Faith

[email protected]

ATT also has a limiting feature where you can limit calls to/from people. I think it is $5 a month. It's smart limits or something like that.

One of the things that we do is get the free phone when we sign up/renew our contract and then if a phone breaks we replace it with a cheap $20 go phone. All you have to do is put an active SIM card in it and it will work like a regular phone without the hassle of spending a lot of money on new phones.

Connie

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Simon

My son (age 11)will now be getting one as I realized my plan offers a
cheap add on additional line option.
As I am always on the phone (during the day for work) and my cell is a
pager as well (for work) I am 'giving in'. I used to have a VOIP line
for work but ATT dropped that service and I don't want to add another
land line as my phone bill would double.
I am getting the phone insurance JUST in case.
Elizabeth

Jamie

I have a straight talk phone that I bought from Wal-mart and an unlimited talk, text, and web( comes with a web filter that has different levels of protection) plan for $45 mo. The phones are super cheap depending on the one you pick and there is no chance of running up the bill. For me this ended up costing a lot less than buying min. on a card. but it works with prepaid cards as well!

Three Mommies

Yes, the $10 is for the additional line for Ethan. We already pay a set
amount for enough minutes that we never have to be worried about running
over. (very expensive twice, years ago when we had the basic plan) Now we
only have cell phones, no land line. It was great to drop that bill.

We tried a different carrier before Verizon and found that we did not get
service in some of the places we go. So I recommend checking out anywhere
you regularly go in the first few days of getting a phone to see if it suits
your needs. Some of the cheaper providers do not have big networks, so
either have no service in many areas (mostly rural) or charge higher fees
for roaming.

We save money by not getting text and pics and by making a lot of calls
after night or on weekends. We are, though, seriously talking about getting
internet because Ryan comes out with amazing questions where ever and
whenever and we keep wishing we had the answer then and there instead of
having to tell him we can look it up later. (and of course forgetting some
of them by the time you are home at the computer)

I totally agree with Faith. Don't go with a pay as you go phone for actual
talking. Only for emergencies.

You can get some really cool phones right now for signing up. Ethan got one
that is also an MP3 player and am FM radio. Their deals change everyday
(literally with Verizon. Every day is a new internet deal) We sat down and
looked at all the phones together then picked his top three picks. Then
waited 2 weeks checking the sales at stores like Best Buy and the internet
and waited for his top pick to be free. He almost got his second pick, but
luckily I saw another ad.

Have fun :)

Esther

http://3mommies.blogspot.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Three Mommies

What I have read/heard about it is in cases where exposure was constant
and long term. ex: higher instance of bone cancer in cops'/emts' hips due
to keeping a cell phone/walkie-talkie there for years

Our motto: Everything in Moderation

Esther

http://3mommies.blogspot.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Amy

If you have a Verizon account with 2 lines & 1400 minutes a month. You can add another phone line and get 5 more "friends and family" numbers for $10 a month. BUT every line you add requires a 2 year commitment.

IF you want a CHEAP phone. You buy a prepaid phone and I think a 500minute card,
(there is a sweet spot at either 500 or 1000minutes) then as long as you buy another 100 min a year your minutes stay valid. It's a good way to have an extra phone in the house for kids/guests/emergencies/whatever. Where I live the place to buy these is at the supermarket or walmart. they are always running specials in the minute packages and phones.

when you go cheap though you don't get the customer service or the coverageof say Verizon.

Love and Laughter,

Amy

snugglebugg.com/sagepixie














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Schuyler

________________________________
What I have read/heard about it is in cases where exposure was constant
and long term. ex: higher instance of bone cancer in cops'/emts' hips due
to keeping a cell phone/walkie-talkie there for years.
=========================================

Here's a link to the U.S. National Cancer Associations take on the risk
of Radio Frequency and cancer: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/cellphones. It's a measured examination of the risk.

I know a
fair number of pre-teens and teens who use cell phones fairly
regularly, mostly they aren't holding them next to their heads (the risk factor), mostly they are texting or listening to music on the mp3
player function. When I use my mobile phone, I use it to call and talk
to people. I'm not a big texter. Linnaea, my 9 year old daughter, likes to have the mobile with her when she's not with David or I. And she likes to call Simon when he's stayed home and we've all gone out. She's not into texting, yet, I imagine that will come. She really enjoys communicating with people. She likes being on the headset on the xbox and chatting throughout games of Halo 3. I don't imagine that a vague and so far unfounded fear of brain tumors will keep me from getting her a mobile phone when she feels she would use it enough to justify not just taking the family one more frequently.

==========================================

Our motto: Everything in Moderation

==========================================

I know that was written about the possible risk of cell phone exposure. But the statement everything in moderation is really not helpful. Also the addition of "Our motto", is it really each member of your families motto? I don't have such a motto. I'd be much more likely to push the "Go with your passions" kind of motto if I were to declare a family motto. Although, that's optional too. If they don't really want to go with their passions, if they want to talk about and explore and expand on their passions without actually fully leaping into a passionate fray, that's fine too.

Who decides what is moderate and what is immoderate? Who decides what an immoderate level of strawberry eating is? or an immoderate level of computer use? or an immoderate amount of bouncing on the trampoline? I think a motto about everything and the level of use could become quite a relationship damaging motto to maintain.

I don't do much with moderation. I do things that I want to do when I want to do them, largely, within the constraints of a life without infinite resources or time. I don't know if my life would be viewed as a moderated life or an immoderate one. It isn't among my neuroses to worry about that, however. So, I don't press for moderation from the other people in my life, nor do a monitor them for going with their passions.

Schuyler


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Joyce Fetteroll

On Dec 17, 2009, at 12:26 PM, Frances Kaufman wrote:

> but I was curious why no one has mentioned the dangers of
> cellphones to developing brains?

It soothes fears and makes people feel like good parents to latch
onto information that supports building walls to protect kids from
the dangers of the world. It only takes moments to do that.

It takes courage -- and time and commitment -- to put the
relationship first, set fears aside temporarily, and to examine the
information objectively.

Who are the studies done on? Is it people using the phone for the
amount of time a child would use it per day?

Better safe than sorry is a useful strategy when people make
decisions for themselves. They only inconvenience and limit
themselves and they've decided that's less trouble than digging into
reports and finding out what the level of confidence is in the danger
and to whom. For example, for me it was loads easier to chuck the
aluminum cookware years ago than to figure out if there was any solid
evidence to connect them with Alzheimer's.

But when making decisions for someone else, no matter how much we
want our fear induced protection to feel like love, it never can feel
that way to the one being limited. It feels like a cage and parents
become the jailers. Our good intentions don't change what our actions
clearly communicate: that our needs (to soothe our fears) are more
important than theirs.

That doesn't mean throwing caution to the wind and just saying yes to
everything. It means deciding that supporting our kids and our
relationship with them is more important than supporting our fears
for them. It means, therefore, putting in the time to look at both
sides of an issue objectively. It also means seeking out more choices
than just no and yes.

Joyce

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plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], Vanessa Jubis <vjubis@...> wrote:
>> I don't ever post here but the issue with cell phones for children is
> important.

Its can be easy to see a potential health and safety issue and jump right to "save my baby" mode - part of being a parent is being on the look out for danger, after all! But when there's no clear and present danger in the moment, its valuable to take some time to go beyond "save" mode into actually thinking about how to communicate and problem solve around an issue with a child - something that can be really challenging with younger children, but also with kids who have been in school, because they've learned to mistrust adults to some extent. An important part of the process is looking for alternatives, other ways to say yes.

There's a whole huge world of options in between a six year old spending hours a day talking on a cell phone, and saying "no, you can't have one bc its dangerous". Lots and lots of possibilities, including different styles of phones that move the antenna away from the head and headsets for kids who really want to talk and talk. But most six year olds aren't interested for talking on the phone for long periods, anyway, so the potential danger significantly diminishes.

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)

Lyla Wolfenstein

right - and most teens i know use their cells to text more than talk. i use mine more to text and email, etc. more than talk too, even though it's my only phone (we don't use our landline). i just avoid the phone as much as possible, and i think that's becoming more common.


----- Original Message -----
From: plaidpanties666
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, December 18, 2009 3:13 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: 6 yo. dd wants cell phone for xmas, DH says no way



--- In [email protected], Vanessa Jubis <vjubis@...> wrote:
>> I don't ever post here but the issue with cell phones for children is
> important.

Its can be easy to see a potential health and safety issue and jump right to "save my baby" mode - part of being a parent is being on the look out for danger, after all! But when there's no clear and present danger in the moment, its valuable to take some time to go beyond "save" mode into actually thinking about how to communicate and problem solve around an issue with a child - something that can be really challenging with younger children, but also with kids who have been in school, because they've learned to mistrust adults to some extent. An important part of the process is looking for alternatives, other ways to say yes.

There's a whole huge world of options in between a six year old spending hours a day talking on a cell phone, and saying "no, you can't have one bc its dangerous". Lots and lots of possibilities, including different styles of phones that move the antenna away from the head and headsets for kids who really want to talk and talk. But most six year olds aren't interested for talking on the phone for long periods, anyway, so the potential danger significantly diminishes.

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)





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