Pretend Play
Kathryn
My eldest two, Jude (nearly 4) and Mia (nearly 8) are very much into pretend play in recent weeks. My involvement is important to them, and more than not I will take part. However, pretend play is something I've continually had to alter my perspective for. In the past, when they were smaller, I simply would not take part. I would explain to them that it was something I did not enjoy, therefore something I would not do. I thought it was 'good for them' to see that we all like/dislike different activities and interests. I know now the error of my ways, and have for a good year or so accepted their invitations of pretend play. My struggle is with *how* I am required to play. Especially by Jude. Both always state, 'pretend that you/I say . . . ' and 'pretend I then said/did . . .' continually throughout play. I am not invited or allowed to enter my own dialogue for my pony/car, whatever toy I have been assigned. I pretty much just regurgitate whatever script they give me. I do find this type of play tedious and boring after 20 minutes or so, and I am *really* trying to keep my focus on their enjoyment and desire for this sort of play. If I was perhaps allowed just a *little* freedom with (perhaps) my tone of voice, or where I sit, maybe it wouldn't feel like such hard work! Today, for example, Jude wanted to play cars with me. He verbalised the scenario he had in his head of what this/that car said/is located, and I then followed his lead. When I made a mistake, he got get VERY upset, cryied, and told me off for saying/doing the wrong thing, or out of his desired script. It is hard for me to focus on the details with Rueben (1) crawling all over me wanting to play at the same time! We did eventually get to play to his satisfaction, but it is hard to end the game. Other elements of play that are big here at the moment are both Mia and Jude pretending to be a dog and/or monkey. I prepare their food into bite size pieces, put into dog food bowls and they 'sit', 'heal' etc for their food. Again, my dialogue is scripted to their specifics. They want me to put them on dog collars and take them shopping on leads(!) which I'm just not prepared to do. Would love some discussion/advice here on how I could perhaps stimulate my imaginative juices so I can flow with this on a more joyous wave!
Thanks in advance,
KathrynD
x
Thanks in advance,
KathrynD
x
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Kathryn" <kathryndubay@...> wrote:
It might help you to think in terms of storytelling. They're telling a story through play and you get a role! How nice of them to include you. If you were in a play, would you constantly be trying to change your lines and blocking? Its their work, their opus. You're just the star ;)
Can you take notes?
Sometimes he'll be upset, even upset at you. That's okay. I mean, of course you're upset that your little guy is crying! but at the same time, you're trying to do something that's challenging for you and sometimes you'll mess up. That's part of life that kids get to learn about. Commiserate, appologise, whatever helps him move on. Suggest breaks or snacks if it seems appropriate (for instance: "I'm sorry! Tell you what, let me go pee and get a snack so I can concentrate and we'll try it again").
Can they be paper collars? Alternately, if they want "real" collars, what about something more like a harness? Explain about throats being delicate things on humans. Is there some other reason? People will think you're weird? I'd be willing to bet, with two kids acting like dogs, goofing around, that other adults won't think its your idea - but yeah, people will think you're strange. Its one of the things you get with unschooling, I'm afraid, kids want to bring some of the fun along with them. If there's no harm... why not?
I've gone out with a child dressed in various forms of dress-up - not just princesses but animals, monsters, space aliens, even combinations of things. Princess with the monster mask. Very funny. I've gotten long nosed looks, sure, but I also get plenty of smiles - there are people who like to see kids getting to be kids in the world, I'm happy to report!
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
> My struggle is with *how* I am required to play. Especially by Jude. Both always state, 'pretend that you/I say . . . ' and 'pretend I then said/did . . .' continually throughout play. I am not invited or allowed to enter my own dialogue for my pony/car, whatever toy I have been assigned.******************
It might help you to think in terms of storytelling. They're telling a story through play and you get a role! How nice of them to include you. If you were in a play, would you constantly be trying to change your lines and blocking? Its their work, their opus. You're just the star ;)
>When I made a mistake, he got get VERY upset, cryied, and told me off for saying/doing the wrong thing, or out of his desired script.*****************
Can you take notes?
Sometimes he'll be upset, even upset at you. That's okay. I mean, of course you're upset that your little guy is crying! but at the same time, you're trying to do something that's challenging for you and sometimes you'll mess up. That's part of life that kids get to learn about. Commiserate, appologise, whatever helps him move on. Suggest breaks or snacks if it seems appropriate (for instance: "I'm sorry! Tell you what, let me go pee and get a snack so I can concentrate and we'll try it again").
>>They want me to put them on dog collars and take them shopping on leads(!) which I'm just not prepared to do.******************
Can they be paper collars? Alternately, if they want "real" collars, what about something more like a harness? Explain about throats being delicate things on humans. Is there some other reason? People will think you're weird? I'd be willing to bet, with two kids acting like dogs, goofing around, that other adults won't think its your idea - but yeah, people will think you're strange. Its one of the things you get with unschooling, I'm afraid, kids want to bring some of the fun along with them. If there's no harm... why not?
I've gone out with a child dressed in various forms of dress-up - not just princesses but animals, monsters, space aliens, even combinations of things. Princess with the monster mask. Very funny. I've gotten long nosed looks, sure, but I also get plenty of smiles - there are people who like to see kids getting to be kids in the world, I'm happy to report!
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
Gwen
When the kids play "something on a leash" I ask them to loop the "collar" around a wrist.
Old ties work great for this because they are usually pretty long.
Megan spent most of her 3rd year as a bat or a cat. She's 8 now and has moved onto dogs That is usually what she prefers to play.
Gwen
Meredith wrote:
Can they be paper collars? Alternately, if they want "real" collars, what about something more like a harness? Explain about throats being delicate things on humans. Is there some other reason? People will think you're weird? I'd be willing to bet, with two kids acting like dogs, goofing around, that other adults won't think its your idea - but yeah, people will think you're strange. Its one of the things you get with unschooling, I'm afraid, kids want to bring some of the fun along with them. If there's no harm... why not?
Old ties work great for this because they are usually pretty long.
Megan spent most of her 3rd year as a bat or a cat. She's 8 now and has moved onto dogs That is usually what she prefers to play.
Gwen
Meredith wrote:
Can they be paper collars? Alternately, if they want "real" collars, what about something more like a harness? Explain about throats being delicate things on humans. Is there some other reason? People will think you're weird? I'd be willing to bet, with two kids acting like dogs, goofing around, that other adults won't think its your idea - but yeah, people will think you're strange. Its one of the things you get with unschooling, I'm afraid, kids want to bring some of the fun along with them. If there's no harm... why not?