Jenna Robertson

I'm seeking some clarification on the unschooling philosophy. 
 
There has been a lot of discussion and concern on the list about kids having interests and passions.  It feels like there is the belief that kids have to have specific passions and intense interests in order to learn and/or in order to unschool.  The theme seems to be parents put effort into finding things their children will be interested in doing on a deep and involved level.  This effort to figure out what their child would enjoy feels frantic in some posts.
 
This conflicts with my original understanding of unschooling.  I thought unschooling was children and families learning through living every day life.  Part of that is supporting a child in their interests and not getting in the way of their blossoming into the person they can become.  This is done by providing an enriched environment, because life and learning are both more fun when the necessary supplies and resources are on hand for being creative or learning about different subjects.  And to provide an enriched environment the parent needs to follow the child's lead and be aware of their interests and aptitudes.  But the emphasis is on following the child's lead, not leading the child. 
 
Therefore, if my family lives our life of baking and crafting, traveling and hiking, reading and writing stories, playing and generally enjoying our life together as a family, we are unschooling and my girls will learn what they need to know as they need to know it along the way.  As needed we provide them w/ the resources to pursue any interests or passions they develop, recognizing that interests come and go and different people explore them in different ways and to different levels. 
 
Isn't unschooling about fun and exploration and trusting the journey?  Even if we just live our life, and it looks rather unremarkable, won't our kids learn what they need to learn?
 
:)
Jenna    
 
 
 
 
 
"If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I would ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life."
               - Rachel Carson

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Jenna Robertson <mamamole@...> wrote:
>> Isn't unschooling about fun and exploration and trusting the journey? Even if we just live our life, and it looks rather unremarkable, won't our kids learn what they need to learn?
******************

Yes indeed!

The point about passions isn't really that we need to somehow engender them in our kids, but that kids have the same capacity for intense interests and passions as adults. That's not a particulary common message - children are not seen as passionate people for the most part, and parents usually seek to discourage "obsessions".

>> But the emphasis is on following the child's lead, not leading the child.
*****************

Yes and no. Kids do get stuck in ruts sometimes. And kids don't always know what they want to do, either in the moment or (with older kids) in a larger sense. So it can be really helpful to provide options - strew ideas and experiences and new things across their paths and see what they pick up. Ideally, there's not some kind of goal that the child will hit upon some grand passion in this way, its more a way to liven things up, keep life interesting.

>>The theme seems to be parents put effort into finding things their children will be interested in doing on a deep and involved level. This effort to figure out what their child would enjoy feels frantic in some posts.
******************

I think sometimes parents read stories of the wonderful things *other* unschoolers are doing, and start to worry, or panic. Or parents may have an idea in their minds about what unschooling "should" look like, maybe what they imagined it would look like, and their real life doesn't look like that. For instance, someone may be reading your post thinking "gosh, I wish that was My life..." but that was hardly your intent when you wrote it! It Is important to value the unique people who are sharing our lives without wishing they were someone different. At the same time, now and then those people need help finding a direction, a new interest, maybe even a new passion.

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)

Heather

>
>
> --- In [email protected]
> <mailto:unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>, Jenna Robertson
> <mamamole@...> wrote:
> >> Isn't unschooling about fun and exploration and trusting the
> journey? Even if we just live our life, and it looks rather
> unremarkable, won't our kids learn what they need to learn?
> ******************
>








That sounds good to me, too. though sometimes there are periods of not
trusting - which is why I come to read and post here. I fully agree that
unschooling may look unremarkable to others at times. There are a couple
points though that I would like to make:

Often - but not always - the kids become remarkable to the outside world
just because unschooling works SO well. People are often telling me how
unusual and talented my son is. He is just a regular kid and he and I
know that very well- but unschooling has allowed him to become more
fully involved in the things he loves - and that is remarkable. This is
not just with his musical talent - but in other situations, in small
ways. Like including a younger child, or just showing up to a job
everyday and doing more than what is asked for! A lot of it is that many
people are not used to seeing teens who are choosing to be where they
are, so that surprises them. He actually doesn't always like this. It is
confusing to have other people's approval - as he just does it because
he loves it or it feels like the right thing. He is good at playing bass
because he has spent so much time doing that for his own amusement.

Another thing is is that life itself can become remarkable when you are
radically unschooling. More exciting and passionate in general. It seems
pretty normal around here for someone to get excited about and wrapped
up in something - not just kids -whether that is something anyone else
can appreciate or not, I personally find the excitement itself contagious.

>
> Meredith:The point about passions isn't really that we need to somehow
> engender them in our kids, but that kids have the same capacity for
> intense interests and passions as adults. That's not a particulary
> common message - children are not seen as passionate people for the
> most part, and parents usually seek to discourage "obsessions".
>








Yes they can, and can also be as skillful as adults in some cases. And
can earn money doing it if they want - though that is not the goal, at
least for me.
>
> Meredith: Kids do get stuck in ruts sometimes. And kids don't always
> know what they want to do, either in the moment or (with older kids)
> in a larger sense. So it can be really helpful to provide options -
> strew ideas and experiences and new things across their paths and see
> what they pick up. Ideally, there's not some kind of goal that the
> child will hit upon some grand passion in this way, its more a way to
> liven things up, keep life interesting.
>










I have found this to be really important. My kids to a certain point
were interested in the simple things in life- but because of who they
are or what they see around them, they seemed to want something more.
They asked - either directly or by general discontent, or interest in
things they DID see - like school. Their cousins have always gone to school.

My son is very passionate about many things- he is the one who pushes me
to follow through on stuff - and at this point opportunites just fall in
his lap. His list of 20 things he wanted to learn about was not
requested by me- it was all his. He keeps reminding me if I forget to
follow up on something- and does a lot of that himself now.

My daughter, is much different- but maybe she looks at him and wants
something like that for herself- basically something fun to do, with
people, preferably. She is pretty content when she can spend lots and
lots of time with her cousins or friends- which is not possible daily.
She is needing something to keep her life more interesting. I actually
feel like I am not offering enough, as I get busy with other stuff and
forget.

Planning things to do with other people on a regular basis has been
really really important for us. I started out unschooling thinking along
the lines of the continuum concept- oh- the kids will just be happy
joining in with things that I do - and it will be simple and without
effort. This worked when they were very young only. If I want my kids to
be happy and content at home, I find I actually need to put quite a bit
of effort into seeking out things and people outside the home to get
involved in. Other kids probably are different- or maybe their parents
lives are just naturally more interesting!

Heather (in NY)
>
>
>

gruvystarchild

~~
Another thing is is that life itself can become remarkable when you are
radically unschooling.~~

If life is not remarkable, it seems rather pointless to me.
How remarkable it is, depends largely on the attitude of those living it. The everyday mundane can be made sacred by the way we view our activities, the way we celebrate them, the way we enjoy and live IN the moment.

I think doing every day activities leads to remarkable discoveries and interests and provides opportunities for rich memories.

Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com

Heather

gruvystarchild wrote:

I think doing every day activities leads to remarkable discoveries
and interests and provides opportunities for rich memories.






The ordinary becomes remarkable because of how you are perceiving it.
For instance - yesterday morning I took a walk listening to music that I
love that I was introduced to by my son, and then came home and ate
breakfast from a bowl with beautiful red and yellow dots made by my
daughter. I felt SO happy and content in appreciating their
contributions to my life. There were other things too during the day -
occasional interactions with my teenage son about logistics that just
went so smoothly and respectfully - buying my daughter a donut on the
way home from park day with lots of lovely unschooling families.

Whether other people outside the family can appreciate these things or
not is really not the point! When they do and your child's awesomeness
and your spectacular parenting<g> is apparent to the world, that is
incredibly validating - but probably not something to expect or seek -
really just a side effect.


Heather (in NY)
>
>
>

[email protected]

Yes! It is a lovely way to live.

Nance


--- In [email protected], Heather <hbmccarty@...> wrote:
>
> gruvystarchild wrote:
>
> I think doing every day activities leads to remarkable discoveries
> and interests and provides opportunities for rich memories.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The ordinary becomes remarkable because of how you are perceiving it.
> For instance - yesterday morning I took a walk listening to music that I
> love that I was introduced to by my son, and then came home and ate
> breakfast from a bowl with beautiful red and yellow dots made by my
> daughter. I felt SO happy and content in appreciating their
> contributions to my life. There were other things too during the day -
> occasional interactions with my teenage son about logistics that just
> went so smoothly and respectfully - buying my daughter a donut on the
> way home from park day with lots of lovely unschooling families.
>
> Whether other people outside the family can appreciate these things or
> not is really not the point! When they do and your child's awesomeness
> and your spectacular parenting<g> is apparent to the world, that is
> incredibly validating - but probably not something to expect or seek -
> really just a side effect.
>
>
> Heather (in NY)
> >
> >
> >
>