12yo son asking for math workbooks
Karen
Hi,
My 12yo son finished school in Year 3 LOL. Since then I've never asked them to do workbooks and our life looks nothing like school. Now my son has said to me today that he wants to do maths workbooks so he can "keep up" with his friends. He's also commenting on the fact that all his home ed friends do workbooks and stuff at home, whereas he just "plays the xbox and goes to the beach" (his words). I'm having a bit of a freak-out, to be honest! It's tapping into feelings of parental failure ("I haven't done enough", "I'm not a good unschooling Mum", "I haven't done a good job of helping my kids see the joy of real maths all around them" etc.). I don't really know how to handle this.
I've tried to explain to him the concept of unschooling maths, seeing maths all around us, etc. but in reality I don't think I've done a good job of doing this with him up til now, which could be partly why he's asking for stuff. I've suggested other ways he could go about learning more about maths rather than typical workbooks. I've suggested books like "The Number Devil" and "Murderous Maths" etc but he's not keen on READING about maths. Says it's too slow, etc. I've suggested fun online stuff but he wants to WRITE maths (cuz he says it will help him with his writing too, which he says is "bad").
I'm keen for suggestions on how to encourage him in this, from an unschooling mindset. I asked him why he's concerned about "keeping up" with "grades" etc, and it seems he's partly comparing himself to other homeschooled kids and seeing that in comparison he "doesn't do anything" that resembles school type learning etc.
Any helpful ideas?
Karyn
My 12yo son finished school in Year 3 LOL. Since then I've never asked them to do workbooks and our life looks nothing like school. Now my son has said to me today that he wants to do maths workbooks so he can "keep up" with his friends. He's also commenting on the fact that all his home ed friends do workbooks and stuff at home, whereas he just "plays the xbox and goes to the beach" (his words). I'm having a bit of a freak-out, to be honest! It's tapping into feelings of parental failure ("I haven't done enough", "I'm not a good unschooling Mum", "I haven't done a good job of helping my kids see the joy of real maths all around them" etc.). I don't really know how to handle this.
I've tried to explain to him the concept of unschooling maths, seeing maths all around us, etc. but in reality I don't think I've done a good job of doing this with him up til now, which could be partly why he's asking for stuff. I've suggested other ways he could go about learning more about maths rather than typical workbooks. I've suggested books like "The Number Devil" and "Murderous Maths" etc but he's not keen on READING about maths. Says it's too slow, etc. I've suggested fun online stuff but he wants to WRITE maths (cuz he says it will help him with his writing too, which he says is "bad").
I'm keen for suggestions on how to encourage him in this, from an unschooling mindset. I asked him why he's concerned about "keeping up" with "grades" etc, and it seems he's partly comparing himself to other homeschooled kids and seeing that in comparison he "doesn't do anything" that resembles school type learning etc.
Any helpful ideas?
Karyn
Debra Rossing
Get the workbooks - go along and let him pick out what he wants to use,
look online for materials, look at the bookstore, etc. Then let him have
at it - whenever, wherever, for however long he wants to do it. Some
people actually LIKE workbooks (waving hands wildly over here - I love
having sequential, step by step stuff to fill in). If he asks for
assistance, help. If he wanted a book on how to draw Pokemon figures,
would you have the same qualms? Probably not because there's no 'school'
association to that. A math workbook is a tool, just as a cookbook, a
videogame walkthrough guide, whatever is a tool.
Deb R
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look online for materials, look at the bookstore, etc. Then let him have
at it - whenever, wherever, for however long he wants to do it. Some
people actually LIKE workbooks (waving hands wildly over here - I love
having sequential, step by step stuff to fill in). If he asks for
assistance, help. If he wanted a book on how to draw Pokemon figures,
would you have the same qualms? Probably not because there's no 'school'
association to that. A math workbook is a tool, just as a cookbook, a
videogame walkthrough guide, whatever is a tool.
Deb R
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intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
www.mastercam.com
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swissarmy_wife
******In unschooling we spend so much time being creative, problem solving, and finding alternative ways to do things. I don't think that you need to shield or talk him out of things just because they are schooly.
We went through this. My oldest apparently just needed to know that I would get him the workbooks if he wanted them. :-) He never so much as opened them.
I would get him some workbooks. Help him be successful in getting his needs met.
-Heather
=====================================================================
We went through this. My oldest apparently just needed to know that I would get him the workbooks if he wanted them. :-) He never so much as opened them.
I would get him some workbooks. Help him be successful in getting his needs met.
-Heather
=====================================================================
--- In [email protected], "Karen" <gktbdm@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> My 12yo son finished school in Year 3 LOL. Since then I've never asked them to do workbooks and our life looks nothing like school. Now my son has said to me today that he wants to do maths workbooks so he can "keep up" with his friends. He's also commenting on the fact that all his home ed friends do workbooks and stuff at home, whereas he just "plays the xbox and goes to the beach" (his words). I'm having a bit of a freak-out, to be honest! It's tapping into feelings of parental failure ("I haven't done enough", "I'm not a good unschooling Mum", "I haven't done a good job of helping my kids see the joy of real maths all around them" etc.). I don't really know how to handle this.
>
> I've tried to explain to him the concept of unschooling maths, seeing maths all around us, etc. but in reality I don't think I've done a good job of doing this with him up til now, which could be partly why he's asking for stuff. I've suggested other ways he could go about learning more about maths rather than typical workbooks. I've suggested books like "The Number Devil" and "Murderous Maths" etc but he's not keen on READING about maths. Says it's too slow, etc. I've suggested fun online stuff but he wants to WRITE maths (cuz he says it will help him with his writing too, which he says is "bad").
>
> I'm keen for suggestions on how to encourage him in this, from an unschooling mindset. I asked him why he's concerned about "keeping up" with "grades" etc, and it seems he's partly comparing himself to other homeschooled kids and seeing that in comparison he "doesn't do anything" that resembles school type learning etc.
>
> Any helpful ideas?
>
> Karyn
>
Heather
Get him a textbook.
My son asked for math books at the same age- he actually paid for half
of it himself as we were reluctant to spend the money. After that we
found used ones. We did provide some other ways to learn math, but what
he really wanted was a text book. He used them some for a year or so,
figured out he could do it - and then stopped.
He is 16 now and plans to take a community college algebra class in the
fall- just to give it a try.
Heather (in NY State)
My son asked for math books at the same age- he actually paid for half
of it himself as we were reluctant to spend the money. After that we
found used ones. We did provide some other ways to learn math, but what
he really wanted was a text book. He used them some for a year or so,
figured out he could do it - and then stopped.
He is 16 now and plans to take a community college algebra class in the
fall- just to give it a try.
Heather (in NY State)
Karen
Wow, I have to say I'm surprised by the advice! But reassured also. After posting this, we chatted some more, and I remembered that I had an old "Understanding Year 7 Maths" workbook on the shelf and showed it to him. I said if that's the kind of thing he was asking about, it's his for the using, as and when he wants to. I asked him if I'd actually read more into his question than he was meaning and he confirmed that I had. He just wanted a book on hand, so he could do a few pages here and there to make sure he's kind of up to speed with other kids, whereas I was suggesting "better" ways of doing maths, that involved more of a commitment from him than he was actually talking about!
Anyway, he has the book, and I'm on hand if he wants help in doing it, but so far I don't think he's looked at it :)
Thanks for the reassurance that if he's asking for it, it's totally cool for me to help him get his needs met. I was particularly challenged by the comment that, "If he was asking for a book to help him learn to draw Pokemon figures, would I balk at that?" It's true! I think I panicked and thought, "Oh no, he wants to do SCHOOLwork LOL" but it's all cool, and we go on.
It's also been a wake up call to be more involved with him, and have more of those swirly, interesting conversations about all sorts of things (we do, but not to the degree that I think we could). Only tonight, I commented that his siblings drama classes were going to cost $30 for 6 weeks and he instantly replied, "Cool, only $5 a week!" and it went on from there. I can't remember what else we discussed, but it reminded me that we really do talk about numbers and stuff. And it's all good. He actually seems to have a natural affinity for mathematical concepts, and likes to jump in with comments like the above one.
Oh, and the comment about Algebra is correct. One of the things he'd specifically commented on was "that kind of maths where you use letters and stuff as well as numbers" lol.... because if he ever went to school and stuff was written on the board he wouldn't have a clue what it was all about.(That's another topic: I'm worried now that his comment is implying an underlying thought that maybe one day he'd LIKE to go to school, and he really only has one home ed friend, so yeah, this is something I'm kind of worried about.) I've mentioned before to the kids about how simple algebra is part of regular life. I might look for some more fun ways to play around with this.
Karyn
Anyway, he has the book, and I'm on hand if he wants help in doing it, but so far I don't think he's looked at it :)
Thanks for the reassurance that if he's asking for it, it's totally cool for me to help him get his needs met. I was particularly challenged by the comment that, "If he was asking for a book to help him learn to draw Pokemon figures, would I balk at that?" It's true! I think I panicked and thought, "Oh no, he wants to do SCHOOLwork LOL" but it's all cool, and we go on.
It's also been a wake up call to be more involved with him, and have more of those swirly, interesting conversations about all sorts of things (we do, but not to the degree that I think we could). Only tonight, I commented that his siblings drama classes were going to cost $30 for 6 weeks and he instantly replied, "Cool, only $5 a week!" and it went on from there. I can't remember what else we discussed, but it reminded me that we really do talk about numbers and stuff. And it's all good. He actually seems to have a natural affinity for mathematical concepts, and likes to jump in with comments like the above one.
Oh, and the comment about Algebra is correct. One of the things he'd specifically commented on was "that kind of maths where you use letters and stuff as well as numbers" lol.... because if he ever went to school and stuff was written on the board he wouldn't have a clue what it was all about.(That's another topic: I'm worried now that his comment is implying an underlying thought that maybe one day he'd LIKE to go to school, and he really only has one home ed friend, so yeah, this is something I'm kind of worried about.) I've mentioned before to the kids about how simple algebra is part of regular life. I might look for some more fun ways to play around with this.
Karyn
--- In [email protected], Heather <hbmccarty@...> wrote:
>
> Get him a textbook.
>
> My son asked for math books at the same age- he actually paid for half
> of it himself as we were reluctant to spend the money. After that we
> found used ones. We did provide some other ways to learn math, but what
> he really wanted was a text book. He used them some for a year or so,
> figured out he could do it - and then stopped.
>
> He is 16 now and plans to take a community college algebra class in the
> fall- just to give it a try.
>
> Heather (in NY State)
>