blueskyyurt

Hi,

I've never posted before, but have been lurking and learning for a few years now. I unschool my ds (11) and dd (8), and this list has been incredibly helpful to me.

Recently my ds has expressed an interest in returning to school (he attended until 1st grade, has been home 4 years now). I want to support my son in this exploration, and help him in anyway that I can, yet also maintain our unschooling values. I'm thinking of trying to get him in to observe/participate in a public school classroom for a few days before officially enrolling him if the principal will allow it, and/or enrolling him asap while there is just a month or so of school left before summer break, so he can get a taste of it, then step back and evaluate the experience before deciding whether to continue next year too.

I have some questions about how unschoolers have handled dealing with the schools in this type of situation. I remembered mention of a list for unschoolers who have one or more children attending school, but I cannot seem to find it when I search in yahoo groups. If anyone knows the name of that list, or has a link to it, I'd be greatly appreciative!

Thank you,
Cindy

Robin Bentley

>
> I have some questions about how unschoolers have handled dealing
> with the schools in this type of situation.
>
>

This article and the responses might be helpful to you:

http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice

Robin B.

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

Also keep in mind the most school do their field trips now so if you enroll your son now he maybe getting the wrong idea of how school really is.
Another thing I would find out from my child is WHY do they want to go to school?
Do they need more social interaction?
Want to make more friends?
Find out more about why he wants to go.
 
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/

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Verna

> Also keep in mind the most school do their field trips now so if you enroll your son now he maybe getting the wrong idea of how school really is.
> Another thing I would find out from my child is WHY do they want to go to school?
> Do they need more social interaction?
> Want to make more friends?
> Find out more about why he wants to go.
>  
> Alex Polikowsky
> http://polykow.blogspot.com/
>

If I asked my 7 year old if he wanted to go to school.. he would say yes. I have been ignoring this desire of his because i dont want to face it.

swissarmy_wife

--- In [email protected], "blueskyyurt" <blueskyyurt@...> wrote:

> Recently my ds has expressed an interest in returning to school (he attended until 1st grade, has been home 4 years now).

My oldest son attended public school until halfway through first grade. It was his worst nightmare. Imagine my surprise when he came to me telling me he wanted to go to school again!

I would keep an open dialogue. His reasons for wanting to attend school may be needs you can meet at home. My son expressed interest right around the time cabin fever hits hard up here in the northeast. He was experiencing a bit of loneliness and boredom. He also has some public schooled friends that adore him, and tried convincing him to go to school with them. We found him some more kids to hang with and started inviting some friends over more often. That's really all he wanted.

We talked a lot about school, the ups and downs, pros and cons. We would talk a little and he would process it all for a few days. Then we'd talk some more. I let him know that I was 100% behind his decision and that I would do everything I could to help him do whatever he chose. Ultimately, he decided not to go. He had a curiosity that needed to be explored, and we explored it together.

Cindy

Thanks Robin, for the link to Sandra's article. I'd read that before but forgotten about it, and it was comforting to read it again now. That is pretty much the approach I was planning to take with this, but I would love to hear how other unschoolers have handled their communications with the school.

I'm wondering how open I should be about our learning style, and that I plan to support my son in his choice but that I will not be the school's "enforcer". I'm thinking it will become apparent at some point that he hasn't been taught the same stuff as the school kids, and I have fears that they'll decide I'm negligent for not teaching to the standards and make it difficult to disenroll my son if he chooses to leave school. I feel like I should preface the whole thing with the school by explaining that he gets most of the concepts, but he doesn't recognize all of the notation or terminology that the schools use. He's been "brushing up" the last few days by going through math and language arts workbooks, and he easily gets all of the concepts, but he needs a little translating by me to understand the symbols and terms used.

Thanks also to Alex. I will definitely ask the school about field trips, etc. He has thought about going to school before and eventually decided against it, but this time he is definitely sure he wants to try it. He is so ecstatic about the decision! And social interaction is a big part of it. He seems to connect well with schooled kids, yet they sometimes treat him as "different" because of the home/unschooling. Most of the schooled kids he has met lately are friends of his schooled cousin, who talks down about our homeschooling to them (seems to me an attempt to keep his friends from liking my son more than him), and then they all quiz my son. He usually handles that pretty well, and they eventually drop it and just have fun, but it does make him feel separate and I believe he's tired of it and also wants to make some friends of his own without having to share them with his cousin. I also think he wants to prove to himself that he can do it, especially after all of this quizzing. He needs to unveil the school mystery for himself.

We have a fantastic "local" unschooling group that has weekly activities, and a sub-group that does weekly hikes, and we participate as often as my kids want to, which is about 3 times per month. Unfortunately he hasn't made any solid connections in that group over the last 2 years. There aren't too many boys in his age range that share his interests. It takes my son awhile to get to know someone and make a bond, and seeing someone once or twice a month just isn't enough, yet he hasn't met anyone that he wants to pursue seeing more often through the unschooling group. I organized a camping trip with about 25 other unschoolers that we did just last week. We have created a smaller local park group we attend weekly too. He takes a few 4-H classes (again, they meet only monthly). These things have helped some, but it's not enough. It's been a challenge because until very recently he hasn't really wanted me to try to create a social group for him, and he turned down many opportunities to meet new people, and now I feel like I can't act fast enough.

At this point though, he is sure that school is the route he wants to try, and I am trying to let go of my fears and allow myself to be infected by his enthusiam and I honestly am loving seeing how excited he is about this. Meanwhile, I am reaching out to the local groups to leave no stone unturned in the hopes that I can help him make more friends over the summer, and he is okay with me doing that. Still, he wants to start school ASAP, like Monday.

Thanks again,
Cindy





Also keep in mind the most school do their field trips now so if you enroll your son now he maybe getting the wrong idea of how school really is.
Another thing I would find out from my child is WHY do they want to go to school?
Do they need more social interaction?
Want to make more friends?
Find out more about why he wants to go.

Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tammy Curry

My daughter came home recently from playing with her PS friends and said that she wanted to go back to school because her friends told her she would never get in to college, that when she went back to PS she would go back to 3rd grade no matter what, etc. Basically they scared her to death. We sat and talked about all the reasons to go to PS and all the reasons to stay home. Thanks to this list and a few others, plus some books that I have read, her fear about college was alleviated. I had plenty of examples of unschoolers that have successfully gotten into college. I also told her that she doesn't have to go to college if she doesn't want to, it is not a requirement of life. I told her that is she really wanted to go back to PS she would have to take a test to see where she was based on their guidelines and not to worry about it I am positive she would be right where her friends are.

We made up a list of what she missed about PS and what she loved about being home. There were three items on the PS list: field trips, friends, and art class. The list was almost two pages for staying at home and she realized that we do go lots of places, she has lots of friends and we have found a local artist who volunteered to be her mentor. She had to see it all laid for her. However, if her desire to go back to PS was strong enough we would have made the necessary arrangements.

We discussed classwork, grading, etc. she wanted to know that she was learning (we really are still deschooling, the whole family is). So we found a sample assessment test on basic information. We took it together and she realized that she knows way more than her friends and printed out the test results and put them her desk drawer. It was basically for her piece of mind. She also has taken up doing some of her unit studies and worksheets that we keep on hand, while laying upside down on her bed no less. She said she thinks better that way because the blood rushes to her head.

She is still thinking ahead to the future and read over the local community college guidelines and has decided she wants to try and enroll early. And has made a list of what she wants to study to be ready. This is her choice, one of many she has before her. She remembers going to college with me when she was 2-3 years old and she feels that it will be a lot of fun and will open up other "realms" to her. She emailed someone in admissions and set up an appointment to speak with a lady next week about what she will need to take the entrance exams. After that she and her brother created their own version of Little Red Riding Hood and have decided to put on a play. So I am off to help with costume design and creation. My son is going to be the Big Bad Wolf and of course my daughter is Little Red Riding Hood. I will try to remember to take some pictures but it is a hoot watching and listening to them go over every step and our backyard is being turned into a
stage. They have a few ideas of other stories that they want to make into plays.


Tammy Curry, Director of Chaos
http://tammycurry.blogspot.com/
http://crazy-homeschool-adventures.blogspot.com/

"If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in."

Rachel Carson




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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

Verna don't ignore. Ask why.
Maybe is something that you can do at home. Maybe the child really wants to ride the big yellow bus.
Maybe he wants more friends or thinks they play all the time in school.
Maybe he wants to play school with you.
Find out. Don't ignore it. Don't ask if he wants to go but listen to him.
If he tells you he wants to try it out maybe let him attend next year to see if he would like.
My son has told me a few times he would like to try school sometime to see how it is.
He has not want it yet. He loves to homeschool and we have a small group in town but we do lots of things and hang out a lot together.
It did take a few years to  get to this point but I did everything I could because he is very social and loves to play with friends.
We get together at least 2 times a week.
 
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/

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ANN WILLIS

Hi,



I'm normally just a lurker, but am finding a place to jump in here. DS is 13 and in his first year out of school. We have had a hard time finding any new friends and he is sure he wants to go back to school next year to be with his friends. He sees them after school and on weekends but I think what he is really missing is that feeling of having a tribe, which he has there. He has even been invited to attend a dance, which he did.



We are attempting to arrange our life so both our daughters, 9 & 6 can come out of school as well. It seems that the networking for that age is easy and I already know many families in our area. I am on a local list but have not made any connections. We also tried a local homeschooling resource center that he took a computer class at but it seems like most of those folks are strict "school at homers". Certainly not all, regardless, he was not very interested in connecting with anyone.



Is anyone here going to be at Life is Good this month with teens? I have also looked into Not Back to School Camp, which is just an hour or so away. He is hesitant to branch out and is a little on the shy side initially. Our best homeschooling buddies live in Hawaii - a little far! We live in Eugene, OR.



Thanks,

Annie









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Jana Smith

Hi Annie!
 
Jake is 13, Josh is 11 and we are going to be at LiG this year and I'm sure since you basically desribed my 13 yo they may make a connection!  We are also coming through and spending some time along the Oregon coast just before conference so maybe they could hookup beforehand?  Let me know what he thinks, Jake has said "cool" when I summarized your e-mail.  Talk to you soon!  
 
Jana living life fully with Jake (13) & Josh (11)

--- On Thu, 4/30/09, ANN WILLIS <timannwillis@...> wrote:


From: ANN WILLIS <timannwillis@...>
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Unschoolers who attend school
To: [email protected]
Date: Thursday, April 30, 2009, 11:01 AM










Hi,

I'm normally just a lurker, but am finding a place to jump in here. DS is 13 and in his first year out of school. We have had a hard time finding any new friends and he is sure he wants to go back to school next year to be with his friends. He sees them after school and on weekends but I think what he is really missing is that feeling of having a tribe, which he has there. He has even been invited to attend a dance, which he did.

We are attempting to arrange our life so both our daughters, 9 & 6 can come out of school as well. It seems that the networking for that age is easy and I already know many families in our area. I am on a local list but have not made any connections. We also tried a local homeschooling resource center that he took a computer class at but it seems like most of those folks are strict "school at homers". Certainly not all, regardless, he was not very interested in connecting with anyone.

Is anyone here going to be at Life is Good this month with teens? I have also looked into Not Back to School Camp, which is just an hour or so away. He is hesitant to branch out and is a little on the shy side initially. Our best homeschooling buddies live in Hawaii - a little far! We live in Eugene, OR.

Thanks,

Annie

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



















[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

N CONFER

Our 14-year-old DD decided she wants to attend the public high school starting next fall. All of these decisions are hers to make so we have registered her and done the paperwork.

I have not faked enthusiasm but it was a nice campus when we went to the open house and I said so. Everyone at the school has been very helpful.

And DD asked and has been answered explicitly that I am only a phone call away if there is too much BS getting in the way of her enjoying the experience. :)

She is taking a completely different approach to the unschooling life than our son, 15. He will not be attending school and is focussed on his own interests.

Both of them knowing they are supported in their choices seems like the important thing to me.

Nance

alohabun

--- In [email protected], BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
>
> Also keep in mind the most school do their field trips now so if you enroll your son now he maybe getting the wrong idea of how school really is.
> Another thing I would find out from my child is WHY do they want to go to school?
> Do they need more social interaction?
> Want to make more friends?
> Find out more about why he wants to go.
>  
> Alex Polikowsky
> http://polykow.blogspot.com/
>
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

My dd (11 yrs) and I just discussed something along these lines yesterday while driving home. Last spring she had shadowed our neighbor (her bff) during school spirit week where kids dress up. It was probably more fun than usual and she truly thought she might like to go - esp since her schooled friends talk it up and she had been watching lots of shows where school is portrayed to be this great, fun, social place.

Yesterday she said that having a *choice* of whether or not to go to school meant so much to her. She wanted that choice, and after knowing she had a choice, decided not to go. (And she said she likes to sleep in late, would miss us and learns best on her own!) Laurie

Robin Bentley

>
> Is anyone here going to be at Life is Good this month with teens? I
> have also looked into Not Back to School Camp, which is just an hour
> or so away. He is hesitant to branch out and is a little on the shy
> side initially. Our best homeschooling buddies live in Hawaii - a
> little far! We live in Eugene, OR.

I'll be there, with my 14-year-old daughter, Michelle, and her 15-year-
old friend, Savannah. Michelle is hosting a World of Warcraft funshop
and she, Savannah, and another 15-year-old friend Tori are hosting an
anime cosplay funshop.

There are usually about a dozen or more teens at the conference from
all over, though it's often through shared interests that kids
connect. What does your son like to do?

Robin B.

P.S. There is a family from the Big Island coming to the conference
with teens. And the LiG conference diva, Mary Gold is not too, too far
from you, in Corvallis. She has two teens, herself.

The Coffee Goddess

We will be at "Life is Good"--I have a 16.5 yo girl and an 11 yo (very precocious) boy.

Dana

-
> Is anyone here going to be at Life is Good this month with teens?  I 
> have also looked into Not Back to School Camp, which is just an hour 
> or so away.  He is hesitant to branch out and is a little on the shy 
> side initially.  Our best homeschooling buddies live in Hawaii - a 
> little far!  We live in Eugene, OR.






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diana jenner

I will be there :) With Hayden, who at 10 has been an honorary teenager for
years :) There is an abundant supply of very cool teens for him to meet up
with - lots of them with NBTSC experience!
Hayden and I are planning to be in Eugene for a car show tomorrow ;)
Feel free to contact me off-list :D
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com


On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 11:01 AM, ANN WILLIS <timannwillis@...> wrote:

> Is anyone here going to be at Life is Good this month with teens? I have
> also looked into Not Back to School Camp, which is just an hour or so away.
> He is hesitant to branch out and is a little on the shy side initially. Our
> best homeschooling buddies live in Hawaii - a little far! We live in Eugene,
> OR.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Annie
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robin Bentley

Yes, of course, Hayden lives close, also! (And Diana's actually an
honorary teenager, too, just cuz she's so cool!).

Robin B.


On May 1, 2009, at 3:50 PM, diana jenner wrote:

> I will be there :) With Hayden, who at 10 has been an honorary
> teenager for
> years :) There is an abundant supply of very cool teens for him to
> meet up
> with - lots of them with NBTSC experience!
> Hayden and I are planning to be in Eugene for a car show tomorrow ;)
> Feel free to contact me off-list :D
> ~diana :)
> xoxoxoxo
> hannahbearski.blogspot.com
> hannahsashes.blogspot.com
> dianas365.blogspot.com
>
>
> On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 11:01 AM, ANN WILLIS <timannwillis@...>
> wrote:
>
>> Is anyone here going to be at Life is Good this month with teens? I
>> have
>> also looked into Not Back to School Camp, which is just an hour or
>> so away.
>> He is hesitant to branch out and is a little on the shy side
>> initially. Our
>> best homeschooling buddies live in Hawaii - a little far! We live
>> in Eugene,
>> OR.
>>
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Annie
>>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>

ANN WILLIS

** What does your son like to do?***

Hmmmm, he likes to snowboard - a lot! And Skate board. Also, he's recently been into making videos with his friends, of the very silly humor nature. Playing bass guitar and music with friends - again often making up songs and recording them and morphing the sounds. He is an avid reader, mostly fantasy fiction but also non-fiction. Um, and he and his dad are building mini-bikes. They just got one going!! He likes gaming but we dont have a system so he plays at friends houses.

** There is a family from the Big Island coming to the conference
with teens. **



They are good friends of ours! They are the ones who told us about it.



Thanks Everyone. Hopefully I can convince him to go.



Annie









[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

ANN WILLIS

Jana,



Sounds great! Contact me off list and I'll give you our particulars - address and phone.



Annie



To: [email protected]
From: jananboys@...
Date: Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:54:18 -0700
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Unschoolers who attend school







Hi Annie!

Jake is 13, Josh is 11 and we are going to be at LiG this year and I'm sure since you basically desribed my 13 yo they may make a connection! We are also coming through and spending some time along the Oregon coast just before conference so maybe they could hookup beforehand? Let me know what he thinks, Jake has said "cool" when I summarized your e-mail. Talk to you soon!

Jana living life fully with Jake (13) & Josh (11)

--- On Thu, 4/30/09, ANN WILLIS <timannwillis@...> wrote:

From: ANN WILLIS <timannwillis@...>
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Unschoolers who attend school
To: [email protected]
Date: Thursday, April 30, 2009, 11:01 AM

Hi,

I'm normally just a lurker, but am finding a place to jump in here. DS is 13 and in his first year out of school. We have had a hard time finding any new friends and he is sure he wants to go back to school next year to be with his friends. He sees them after school and on weekends but I think what he is really missing is that feeling of having a tribe, which he has there. He has even been invited to attend a dance, which he did.

We are attempting to arrange our life so both our daughters, 9 & 6 can come out of school as well. It seems that the networking for that age is easy and I already know many families in our area. I am on a local list but have not made any connections. We also tried a local homeschooling resource center that he took a computer class at but it seems like most of those folks are strict "school at homers". Certainly not all, regardless, he was not very interested in connecting with anyone.

Is anyone here going to be at Life is Good this month with teens? I have also looked into Not Back to School Camp, which is just an hour or so away. He is hesitant to branch out and is a little on the shy side initially. Our best homeschooling buddies live in Hawaii - a little far! We live in Eugene, OR.

Thanks,

Annie

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]










[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

ANN WILLIS

PS I will also have my two girls, 9 & 6. They are excited to go to the conference- AND to be out of school!



Annie



To: [email protected]
From: timannwillis@...
Date: Fri, 1 May 2009 16:47:34 -0700
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Unschoolers who attend school









** What does your son like to do?***

Hmmmm, he likes to snowboard - a lot! And Skate board. Also, he's recently been into making videos with his friends, of the very silly humor nature. Playing bass guitar and music with friends - again often making up songs and recording them and morphing the sounds. He is an avid reader, mostly fantasy fiction but also non-fiction. Um, and he and his dad are building mini-bikes. They just got one going!! He likes gaming but we dont have a system so he plays at friends houses.

** There is a family from the Big Island coming to the conference
with teens. **

They are good friends of ours! They are the ones who told us about it.

Thanks Everyone. Hopefully I can convince him to go.

Annie

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]










[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robin Bentley

>
> ** What does your son like to do?***
>
> Hmmmm, he likes to snowboard - a lot! And Skate board. Also, he's
> recently been into making videos with his friends, of the very silly
> humor nature. Playing bass guitar and music with friends - again
> often making up songs and recording them and morphing the sounds.
> He is an avid reader, mostly fantasy fiction but also non-fiction.
> Um, and he and his dad are building mini-bikes. They just got one
> going!! He likes gaming but we dont have a system so he plays at
> friends houses.

~ I know at least two snowboarders/skateboarders who'll be there.
Probably some film makers. Lots of musicians and Guitar Hero/Rock Band
players. Plenty of reader of fantasy fiction. Not sure about the bike-
building, but you never know! I think he may find some people to hang
with.
>
>
> ** There is a family from the Big Island coming to the conference
> with teens. **
>
> They are good friends of ours! They are the ones who told us about
> it.

~ Alyse! I met her when she came solo last year. Can't wait to meet
her family.
>
> Thanks Everyone. Hopefully I can convince him to go.

If you join the Life is Good Yahoo group, you can introduce yourselves
to "meet" a few people ahead of time. Maybe that will help, too.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LifeisGoodconference/

Hope to see you there!

Robin B.
>
>