bullying - another perspective
Quinn Blaiklock
Greetings all!
This is my first posting to the group (ever) and this topic was enough
to have me come out of lurking. My son was the bully in school; way too
clever for his own good and saw that verbal jabs were much more fun than
physical ones. He was the one in the circle to say something nasty to
one of the members, everyone would laugh, and then the jabbed person
would say "Hey, wait a minute ..." Luckily for us, we had a great
relationship with the small school and were able to work from both home
and school and with the bullied family. He had great potential for
being a social deviant since his morality growth spurt has not quite
kicked in yet.
Homeschooling was the key to bringing this behavior to an end. We
started when he was nine. He is now thirteen, still scarily clever, and
using his powers for (mostly) good. He is gentle with babies and wee
ones, respectful of adults, and a crazy lunatic with his peers, but all
without malice or harshness. Well, I was going to say that we were
lucky, but I do believe it was homeschooling and unschooling (I'm
working on it!) that shifted it. I adore my son, my daughter is having
a great relationship with him, bumps and all, and I actually now love
the idea of parenting teenagers! Thank you unschooling and
homeschooling and everything that has to do with direct parent
involvement. The boy even holds hands with me occasionally: "Holding
hands with you is like a private, small hug" in public.
blessings and peace to all,
Quinn
It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of
instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of
inquiry; for what this delicate little plant needs more than anything,
besides stimulation, is freedom. It is a very grave mistake to think
that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of
coercion and a sense of duty.
~Albert
Einstein
<br><br><a href="http://toolbar.Care2.com">http://toolbar.Care2.com</a> Make your computer carbon-neutral (free).<br></br><a href="http://www.Care2.com">http://www.Care2.com</a> Green Living, Human Rights and more - 8 million members!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
This is my first posting to the group (ever) and this topic was enough
to have me come out of lurking. My son was the bully in school; way too
clever for his own good and saw that verbal jabs were much more fun than
physical ones. He was the one in the circle to say something nasty to
one of the members, everyone would laugh, and then the jabbed person
would say "Hey, wait a minute ..." Luckily for us, we had a great
relationship with the small school and were able to work from both home
and school and with the bullied family. He had great potential for
being a social deviant since his morality growth spurt has not quite
kicked in yet.
Homeschooling was the key to bringing this behavior to an end. We
started when he was nine. He is now thirteen, still scarily clever, and
using his powers for (mostly) good. He is gentle with babies and wee
ones, respectful of adults, and a crazy lunatic with his peers, but all
without malice or harshness. Well, I was going to say that we were
lucky, but I do believe it was homeschooling and unschooling (I'm
working on it!) that shifted it. I adore my son, my daughter is having
a great relationship with him, bumps and all, and I actually now love
the idea of parenting teenagers! Thank you unschooling and
homeschooling and everything that has to do with direct parent
involvement. The boy even holds hands with me occasionally: "Holding
hands with you is like a private, small hug" in public.
blessings and peace to all,
Quinn
It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of
instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of
inquiry; for what this delicate little plant needs more than anything,
besides stimulation, is freedom. It is a very grave mistake to think
that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of
coercion and a sense of duty.
~Albert
Einstein
<br><br><a href="http://toolbar.Care2.com">http://toolbar.Care2.com</a> Make your computer carbon-neutral (free).<br></br><a href="http://www.Care2.com">http://www.Care2.com</a> Green Living, Human Rights and more - 8 million members!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> Homeschooling was the key to bringing this behavior to an end. > Thank you unschooling and homeschooling and everything that has to do with direct parentThanks for sharing, Quinn! It was very affirming to hear thehealing effects of unschooling on your son. I have a another son, who is 12, and he, too, still likes to hug and hold handswith me, which I think is a result of the unschooling and the attachment /connection parenting that we do at home. I had a friend, who was a school-at-home mom. Her family has since moved,but I remember her sharing the bit of sadness she felt when she happenedto put her arm around her 10 year-old son as they were walking outside, and he quickly reeled around to avoid that closeness. But she just chalked it up to boys being boys and her son being older. Of course, it was *normal* for boyshis age not to enjoy physical affection anymore. I felt sad for her, too.I wish everyone could recognize the benefits of unschooling / attachment parenting.They (and we -- in fact, the whole world) would be better off!Shelley
> involvement. The boy even holds hands with me occasionally: "Holding
> hands with you is like a private, small hug" in public.
>
> blessings and peace to all,
> Quinn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]