puns
Kelly Lovejoy
Duncan's recently gotten into puns---they finally make sense to him. <g> These came in the mail today, so I thought I'd share with y'all in case any of you had a child into puns too.
~Kelly
Word Play
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have
the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at
large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
21. A backward poet writes in-verse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~Kelly
Word Play
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have
the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at
large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
21. A backward poet writes in-verse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I love it too! Here is for him to check out:
http://thatspunny.blogspot.com/
http://www.pungents.com/
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: Kelly Lovejoy <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, December 3, 2008 6:55:14 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] puns
Duncan's recently gotten into puns---they finally make sense to him. <g> These came in the mail today, so I thought I'd share with y'all in case any of you had a child into puns too.
~Kelly
Word Play
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have
the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at
large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
21. A backward poet writes in-verse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://thatspunny.blogspot.com/
http://www.pungents.com/
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: Kelly Lovejoy <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, December 3, 2008 6:55:14 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] puns
Duncan's recently gotten into puns---they finally make sense to him. <g> These came in the mail today, so I thought I'd share with y'all in case any of you had a child into puns too.
~Kelly
Word Play
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, 'You stay here, I'll go on ahead.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have
the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at
large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
21. A backward poet writes in-verse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Debra Rossing
Cannibals don't like clowns, they taste funny
When the firefly backed into a fan, he was de-lighted
LOL
Just my contribution to the merriment
Deb R
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When the firefly backed into a fan, he was de-lighted
LOL
Just my contribution to the merriment
Deb R
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intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
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CNC Software, Inc.
www.mastercam.com
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Debra Rossing
Oh and we really liked the whole Sir Cumference book series - yeah,
technically they're supposed to be 'educational' but we just thought all
the puns were fun
Deb R
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This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
CNC Software, Inc.
www.mastercam.com
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
technically they're supposed to be 'educational' but we just thought all
the puns were fun
Deb R
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
CNC Software, Inc.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
For Duncan:
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
-pam
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
-pam
On Dec 3, 2008, at 4:55 AM, Kelly Lovejoy wrote:
>