almadoing

This is something I've been struggling with a bit recently. I was
raised to believe that hard work was good for the mind, body and soul,
and that having fun had to be earned. Now if my unschooling aim is for
my kids to have fun I have to let go of that.

I don't actually find it too hard irt my kids at ages 6 and 3, but I do
worry I'll find it harder as they get older and I do find it a struggle
for myself. When I used to work outside the home I used to love that
Saturday feeling of wearing PJs til lunch or watching tv all day or
whatever. Now, I just feel slovenly. And where will my kids get that
delicious feeling of a well-earned bit of fun from?

Looking forward to your thoughts and wisdom.
Alison
DH, DS1 (6) and DS2 (3)

Nicole Willoughby

This is something I've been struggling with a bit recently. I was
raised to believe that hard work was good for the mind, body and soul,
and that having fun had to be earned. Now if my unschooling aim is for
my kids to have fun I have to let go of that. >>

yes

I don't actually find it too hard irt my kids at ages 6 and 3, but I do
worry I'll find it harder as they get older and I do find it a struggle
for myself. When I used to work outside the home I used to love that
Saturday feeling of wearing PJs til lunch or watching tv all day or
whatever. Now, I just feel slovenly. And where will my kids get that
delicious feeling of a well-earned bit of fun from?>>>

Well if you are sitting around in your pj's and watching tv all day everyday you may want to consider being more present with your kids. :) If you really feel slovenly and it makes you unhappy change it !

For kids play is hard work. Times of physical labor , times of making logical and emotional connections.

My oldest is nine so this is the little Ive seen from the few long term unschooled teens Ive seen or read about. There will come a point where they will develop a passion and figure out how to make money off it ..... or volunteer work...and they will choose to miss out on other fun.


Nicole

Don't worry that children never listen to you : worry that they are always watching you--Robert Fulghum



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Lovejoy

-----Original Message-----
From: almadoing <almadoing@...>



This is something I've been struggling with a bit recently. I was
raised to believe that hard work was good for the mind, body and soul,
and that having fun had to be earned. Now if my unschooling aim is for
my kids to have fun I have to let go of that.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-





AAAAH! But you're separating the two!!!



Can't hard work BE fun??? Mine is!




-=-=-=-=-=-=-


I don't actually find it too hard irt my kids at ages 6 and 3, but I do
worry I'll find it harder as they get older and I do find it a struggle
for myself.


-=-=-=-=-




Why? I can't think of why.




-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-




When I used to work outside the home I used to love that
Saturday feeling of wearing PJs til lunch or watching tv all day or
whatever. Now, I just feel slovenly. And where will my kids get that
delicious feeling of a well-earned bit of fun from?





-=-=-=-=-=-=-




Hard work really can be fun. I'm guessing the work you did wasn't one you chose?




We don't need to be "rewarded" for work. We do the work for the joy IN that work.




Paradigm shift.


~Kelly














[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Schuyler

I've heard that argument for school. Suffering is an important prerequisite for enjoying yourself kind of thing. I don't have to starve to know good food. I don't have to suffocate to enjoy breathing. My children don't have to have hard work to enjoy leisure. I was walking my dog tonight and thinking about this, thinking about the idea of without dark there is no light, but it isn't true, without dark there just isn't any dark. Finland gets that, don't they? So they buy good blinds.

Hard work can be fun. I like scrubbing the floor. Linnaea does too. Sometimes when she takes a shower she cleans the whole thing. She and Simon cleaned their rooms a couple of months ago, because they wanted to have clean rooms. Then they hung out and watched a movie together. I don't know if they got the feeling of a well-earned bit of fun. My hope, actually, is that they won't ever feel that they need to suffer to enjoy. I think it is a very Puritan thing this idea that suffering now pays for future happiness. I don't have to suffer to enjoy right now. I am full of yummy homemade ravioli and Simon is sitting near me, David brought me a cup of tea and Linnaea is watching the Simpsons. My life is so good. I need no struggle to enjoy it.

Schuyler
http://www.waynforth.blogspot.com




This is something I've been struggling with a bit recently. I was
raised to believe that hard work was good for the mind, body and soul,
and that having fun had to be earned. Now if my unschooling aim is for
my kids to have fun I have to let go of that.

I don't actually find it too hard irt my kids at ages 6 and 3, but I do
worry I'll find it harder as they get older and I do find it a struggle
for myself. When I used to work outside the home I used to love that
Saturday feeling of wearing PJs til lunch or watching tv all day or
whatever. Now, I just feel slovenly. And where will my kids get that
delicious feeling of a well-earned bit of fun from?

Looking forward to your thoughts and wisdom.
Alison
DH, DS1 (6) and DS2 (3)


Messages in this topic (1) Reply (via web post) | Start a new topic
Messages | Files | Photos | Polls | Members

Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Oct 24, 2008, at 7:26 AM, almadoing wrote:

> I was
> raised to believe that hard work was good for the mind, body and soul,
> and that having fun had to be earned.


If it's true, do you need it drilled into your head? If it's true,
won't it be evident from experience?

Or was the above said to make you believe there was some benefit that
you couldn't feel from doing what you didn't want to do?

Those are just some questions to think about.

Coerced, unwilling hard work isn't the only kind there is. I like the
hard work of accomplishing something I've decided to do.

> When I used to work outside the home I used to love that
> Saturday feeling of wearing PJs til lunch or watching tv all day or
> whatever. Now, I just feel slovenly.

So what the saying has done for you is take the pleasure out of
leisure. It's made you feel guilty. Is that a good feeling?

Guilt can be useful. It can help us make a different decision next
time that moves us closer to our goals. Guilt for enjoying life isn't
a good pathway to happiness.

What are your life goals? How is staying in your PJs interfering?

> And where will my kids get that
> delicious feeling of a well-earned bit of fun from?

You know how great a glass of cold iced tea is when you're hot and
parched? Does that mean everyone should be dehydrated regularly in
order to experience that?

Know how great it is to scratch after having a cast removed? Should
everyone be required to break a bone to experience that?

The more and harder we work, the greater weekends feel. Is that a
reason to work hard? Wouldn't it be better to work hard because you
enjoy the work you're doing?

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

raisingexplorers

My boys do hard work and enjoy it. We plant and maintain a vegetable
garden all summer long. They are 6 & 5, and enjoy every minute of it..
from starting seeds, tilling the garden areas and planting.. weeding..
and picking fresh veggies. It's hard work, they love it. My 6 yr old
is trying to make money off it anyway he can. LOL He's already
packaging seeds from our green beans and limas to sell (He's sold 3
packs and decided to save some for selling in the spring.) He wanted
to sell pumpkins for Halloween, but that was a learning experience for
us and did not turn out how we hoped it would :( But, next year...
we'll be better ready to handle the pumpkins!!

They also ENJOY cleaning... I use natural, home made cleaners that
they actually help me make and then they use them. They just come up
and ask.. can I wash the windows? or the TV? The like to do the
laundry... "Can I put the stuff in?" Can I push the button? can I CAN
I CAN I?????!!! LOL So, I think they don't know the difference between
hard work and fun... it's all the same to them, and I hope to be able
to help them keep it that way!

--- In [email protected], "almadoing" <almadoing@...>
wrote:
>
> This is something I've been struggling with a bit recently. I was
> raised to believe that hard work was good for the mind, body and soul,
> and that having fun had to be earned. Now if my unschooling aim is for
> my kids to have fun I have to let go of that.
>
> I don't actually find it too hard irt my kids at ages 6 and 3, but I do
> worry I'll find it harder as they get older and I do find it a struggle
> for myself. When I used to work outside the home I used to love that
> Saturday feeling of wearing PJs til lunch or watching tv all day or
> whatever. Now, I just feel slovenly. And where will my kids get that
> delicious feeling of a well-earned bit of fun from?
>
> Looking forward to your thoughts and wisdom.
> Alison
> DH, DS1 (6) and DS2 (3)
>

Ren Allen

~~I was
raised to believe that hard work was good for the mind, body and soul,
and that having fun had to be earned. ~~

I agree that hard work is good for us.:) I just don't think fun has to
be earned. I tend to have a pretty old-fashioned work ethic myself. My
children can choose their work ethic. They'll probably learn a lot
from watching how I respond to my co-workers, my garden, my passions.
But in the end we're all different.

My "hard" work is all things I CHOOSE to work hard at, things I'm
passionate about. I could use my clothes dryer but I prefer to hang my
clothes to dry. I could use my dishwasher (and still do some) but I
prefer handwashing my dishes. I could choose to buy all of my food but
I prefer growing my own.

All of the above choices make a lot more "work" for me, so why do I
prefer doing those things? Humans often make choices for reasons that
are more powerful than the whole "work vs. fun" reality. As Kelly
said, work CAN be fun. For me, it's less about fun sometimes and more
about a deep satisfaction. It's about being authentic and being true
to my priorities which involve living more independently, consuming
less and treading gently on the earth.

People will make good choices for themselves if they can flex their
inner guidance often. Humans often choose difficult things when it
gets them closer to a goal or desire. I choose hard work because it
makes me feel good. It didn't ever feel good when my parents forced it
though.

Ren

Joyce Fetteroll

> We plant and maintain a vegetable
> garden all summer long. They are 6 & 5, and enjoy every minute of it..
> from starting seeds, tilling the garden areas and planting.. weeding..
> and picking fresh veggies.

Whenever I read accounts like this I can picture beginning
unschoolers thinking "What's wrong with me or my kids? My kids
wouldn't do that."

Unschooling will not create kids who work all summer long in the
garden and then come in and clean. But if mom approaches these
projects with joy *and* it's something that appeals to the kids, that
joy will spill over onto the kids and they'll enjoy being with her
and exploring to they extent of their interest what she's enjoying.

I spent a lot of time enjoying answering email from unschooling lists
but that didn't spill over onto Kat answering emails with me ;-)

Unschooling isn't about getting kids to do what you want but you're
more likely to end up with helpers if you:

1) Find ways to enjoy what you're doing.

2) Own what you're doing. It's your responsibility. Your deal.

3) Appreciate any little bit they add, because they chose to set
aside play for a moment to do something with or for you.

4) Treat their needs with respect so they don't get the message that
the project you're enjoying is more important than helping them meet
their needs.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

tmissinne

Last week, Deacon, who is four, saw an advertisement for Kabillion.com on tv. He heard there
were games, and immediately wanted to check it out. There was a hopping type game,
similar to Super Mario. But intended for 8-10 year olds. He played it for awhile, and then
wanted me to help him. I couldn't because he's already better than I am! He started to get
pretty frustrated, so I suggested that maybe he take a break and play something else, which
he did.

A couple of days later, he was playing on the computer, and yelled out "Mom, I finished level
one!" I didn't know what game he was playing, so I went over to see. And it was the same
game he had been frustrated with earlier.

I'm assuming that was hard for him. But he kept at it, and kept trying, even though he's never
been made to work or do hard things. He did it for the joy of doing it.

These are the stories I tell my mom when she says things like "But how will they learn
persistence?"