Dina

Since someone mentioned that the traffic here has been a bit slow I thought I would go
ahead and post a concern...

My 2 year old DS doesn't seem to like young kids. We went to a Halloween party today and he
kept guiding me to the door. So we left. Maybe the costumes freaked him out. Who knows.
But this "fear" seems to come and go. We were on a 5 hour flight last month where he
screamed every time he heard a baby make a sound from the row in front of us. Unexpected
sounds seem to scare him.

That being said, he was fine at the playground yesterday (played ball with other kids) and
when we're out and about. He loves adults and will make eye contact and point and sign to
them (he's not very verbal just yet). I know he's really young and that I need to support him
when he's scared but sometimes I feel sad that he doesn't want to be around other kids.
Probably because I usually want to chat with the other moms, who I have a lot in common
with - and that seems rare around here.

Any thoughts? Anyone else have this experience?

Dina

PMB

> My 2 year old DS doesn't seem to like young kids..... Anyone else
have this experience?
> Dina

>
Yes, Dina, my son completely avoided playgrounds and groups of young
kids from 2 years old until he was almost five. I was surprised when I
realized he found most kids his age too noisy and unpredictable to
enjoy their company. He preferred playing with me or my husband for
most of those early years, or with one carefully chosen friend at a
time. And yet I never really thought of it as a "problem" until I
started hearing it from other parents and, later on, from school and
the experts within.

Unfortunately for my son, that was the beginning of me eventually
learning to see him as a big long string of social and learning
disabilities. "The first warning signs", some said. To keep a long
story short, that perspective was not at all helpful for me or my son.
Thankfully and with the help of this group I am now working on
reversing that damage, but I spent lot of time trying to figure out
what was wrong with him instead of accepting and helping him.

My now 9 year old son still finds many kids are emotionally and
physically rougher than he likes and often initially avoids new groups
until he has had a chance to watch them operate, but he has learned to
expect and plan for this more now. He likes to play pretend games
such as Army or Dinosaur Hunters, which can take a rough turn quickly,
so he generally "runs" these games to keep the action to an acceptable
level, which takes it own unique set of social skills. He continues
to choose his friends very carefully and avoids kids who won't allow
for his playing style. It still takes him a long time to judge whether
a social situation feels safe to jump into or not. He is sometimes the
leader, sometimes the one sitting out. No problem. Now that we're out
of school, that is.

I also choose my friends carefully, spend a lot of time by myself, and
avoid certain types of people altogether. It drives me crazy when
someone tells me I should socialize more. Why I was ever sad about my
son doing the same things probably had more to do with that Kodak
moment in my head about him than anything real in our lives.

Pat

freeedomm

--- In [email protected], "Dina" <dapsign@...> wrote:
>
> Since someone mentioned that the traffic here has been a bit slow I
thought I would go
> ahead and post a concern...
>
> My 2 year old DS doesn't seem to like young kids.
>

One of my earliest memories is of being 2 and hating visiting my
younger cousin because she pulled my hair.

A younger child's differences may upset him. Especially if they tend to
take his toys, poke his face, or drool in his food.

Jamie