Karen Swanay

We pulled the boys from school about 2 yrs ago. And I homeschooled them.
It was damaging our relationship to be their teacher as well as parent. So
back to school they went for about 3 weeks and I pulled them out again. And
began unschooling them. The deschooling process was not going very well nor
very fast. I was having to defend my decision to my husband as well as
fight my own demons.
Sleep was the first thing to "fix" itself in the boys. I already wrote this
in the sleep survey someone posted but when I let go of trying to control
sleep the boys went wild with it. Staying up all night, sleeping all day.
But here we are about a year into this and now they go to bed at 10 pm
every night (their idea) and they are up about 7-8am each day. Also their
idea.

There hasn't been much "learning" in the conventional sense. Lots of screen
time. Not much outside time. But just in the last two weeks, my oldest who
hates to read asked me to buy him a book and he's been reading for pleasure.


Just let go and trust your kids. It works. The BIGGEST problem with this
whole RU/deschooling process has been my husband and my resistance to it.
All the "yeah buts"... And here I raised some hell while I had
pre-learning tantrums. Giving up what you always thought you knew is scary
and threatening and boy did I have fits here. I'm SO glad I finally got the
message to just shut up and read.

With deep gratitude to Ren, Joyce, Kelly, et al.

Karen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

aenclade

Thanks, your post gives me some hope.

Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children? My boys
are just turning 3 and 5...they are boys with loads of physical
energy, demands and sibling rivalry. We dropped out of preschool a
month ago. My 5 year old wants to watch lots of TV (I am really trying
to trust it), they both don't want to go to bed, etc. It's hard to
watch them gel in front of the screen for so long. I want Ru to be our
life more than you could all know. I am having a couple of bad days
now...feeling like a crappy mother for being so tired and cranky from
lack of sleep...questioning myself constantly...feeling disconnected
from everyone I know. I have gone to our local unschooling group a few
times...most of the core parents don't have more than one child...plus
the kids are older and into their own thing so they are not very
interested in us for the most part.
Dad was out of town for 4 days and they need me to cuddle them all
night...they are missing him, waking up every 1-2 hours. They have
never been sound sleepers.We have always slept with our children.My 5
year old has started to sleep in but the 3 year old wakes up at the
same time everyday even if he goes to bed late. I don't know if I am
doing this right. I know it is hard at first just needing some moral
support. The siblings without rivalry book does not work very well
with the younger ones...I am wondering any wisdom for me? I need it
big time.

Amanda

--- In [email protected], "Karen Swanay"
<luvbullbreeds@...> wrote:
>
> We pulled the boys from school about 2 yrs ago. And I homeschooled
them.
> It was damaging our relationship to be their teacher as well as
parent. So
> back to school they went for about 3 weeks and I pulled them out
again. And
> began unschooling them. The deschooling process was not going very
well nor
> very fast. I was having to defend my decision to my husband as well as
> fight my own demons.
> Sleep was the first thing to "fix" itself in the boys. I already
wrote this
> in the sleep survey someone posted but when I let go of trying to
control
> sleep the boys went wild with it. Staying up all night, sleeping
all day.
> But here we are about a year into this and now they go to bed at 10 pm
> every night (their idea) and they are up about 7-8am each day. Also
their
> idea.
>
> There hasn't been much "learning" in the conventional sense. Lots
of screen
> time. Not much outside time. But just in the last two weeks, my
oldest who
> hates to read asked me to buy him a book and he's been reading for
pleasure.
>
>
> Just let go and trust your kids. It works. The BIGGEST problem
with this
> whole RU/deschooling process has been my husband and my resistance
to it.
> All the "yeah buts"... And here I raised some hell while I had
> pre-learning tantrums. Giving up what you always thought you knew
is scary
> and threatening and boy did I have fits here. I'm SO glad I finally
got the
> message to just shut up and read.
>
> With deep gratitude to Ren, Joyce, Kelly, et al.
>
> Karen
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Jodi Bezzola

~~Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children? My boys
are just turning 3 and 5...they are boys with loads of physical
energy, demands and sibling rivalry.~~
 
This sounds so familiar! :)  We have 3 3/4 year old twin girls, and they are BUSY and also get into each others' space alot, and ask alot of me (in unison <g>).
 
~~We dropped out of preschool a month ago. My 5 year old wants to watch lots of TV (I am really trying to trust it), they both don't want to go to bed, etc. It's hard to watch them gel in front of the screen for so long. I want Ru to be our life more than you could all know.~~
 
We went through this too, where they would sit in front of the tv just mesmerized for almost an entire day, then be runnning around until midnight with all the energy they hadn't expressed all day.  Fun times! <G>.  The party does settle down eventually.  For us it took a few months for tv and bed to settle into a more sane and relaxed flow.  Now they have no problem walking away from the tv, and no problem heading to bed when they're tired.
 
~~I don't know if I am doing this right. I know it is hard at first just needing some moral
support.~~
 
I know, it is really quite confusing at first isn't it?!?  I too was determined to have the RU life I'd read about from Joyce, Sandra, Kelly, Ren, Rue, etc.  I wanted the joy, the connection with my kids, the ease, and for the most part that's exactly what has happened.  My relationship with dh needs some serious work, but that's the whole *next* can of worms.
 
~~The siblings without rivalry book does not work very well with the younger ones...I am wondering any wisdom for me? I need it big time.~~
 
I have experienced that too, that the techniques in the book aren't geared so much towards 3 year olds.  I too would LOVE to hear about some things that work with the younger crowd.  Our girls bicker, hit, kick, quite a bit, and I'm sure most times I could be responding much more effectively.  Often I find myself stumped at knowing if there is an unmet need, and if so, what the need is.  Any wisdom in this area???
 
Jodi







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Faith Void

Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children? My boys
are just turning 3 and 5...

I have an 11dd, 5 ds and a 1(today)dd.


they are boys with loads of physical energy, demands and sibling rivalry.

well mine are both girls and boy but they are all equal active and very
energetic. Um, well they all demand my best and 100% from me.

My 5 year old wants to watch lots of TV (I am really trying
to trust it),

We have always unschooled but we went through TV because we didn't get one
until my oldest was 7 or 8 and ds was about 1 or 2. My dd watched TV
non-stop for months. It really scared me. She's watch 12 hours a day 7 days
a week. I realize looking back at it she really dug in deep because we (me
and her papa) had issues. I finally let them go and then convinced her papa
to lay off. We relaxed and she shifted gears. She started walking away from
TV herself. She started doing other things while watching TV. She started to
be more creative again (she always had a rich fantasy life). She still
watches a bit more TV than I would choose but it isn't her first or prefered
activity now that she feels safe that it won't go away or be rationed.

I never went through this with my younger two as we have always had TV
freedom with unlimited acess and cable.

As soon as you relax and let them be with TV they will relax. As soon as you
trust that TV is just as good a choose as anything else they will learn to
trust you. As soon as they know that you won't take the TV away. And then
when they have enough they will be free of any hold that TV has over them.
They are young so it probably wont take long.


they both don't want to go to bed, etc.

Why not? Are they tired?


It's hard to watch them gel in front of the screen for so long.

Then don't watch them either watch with them or do something you enjoy. When
my dd was super into TV I just gave my son all of me. It was almost like he
was an only for a couple months.

I want Ru to be our
life more than you could all know.

Let your life be your life. Let it all go. All the expectations, just enjoy
where you and your kids are.

I am having a couple of bad days
now...feeling like a crappy mother for being so tired and cranky from
lack of sleep...questioning myself constantly...feeling disconnected
from everyone I know.

When I feel this way I try to stay away from other people. just chill at
home as much as possible. I try to either get more sleep or do low key
activities like watch TV or movies. I can sometimes read (hard with a
toddler but somewhat easier with a 3+)

I have gone to our local unschooling group a few
times...most of the core parents don't have more than one child...plus
the kids are older and into their own thing so they are not very
interested in us for the most part.

Find another group or start one.

Dad was out of town for 4 days and they need me to cuddle them all
night...they are missing him, waking up every 1-2 hours. They have
never been sound sleepers.We have always slept with our children.My 5
year old has started to sleep in but the 3 year old wakes up at the
same time everyday even if he goes to bed late.

perhaps you can help him fall asleep by setting the stage for sleeping. it
doesn't have to be a power struggle, just be there and guide them through
sleepiness. I don't know how to advice you as mine have always slept/woke on
their own for the most part. I just watch for cues and then help them where
they need it.


I don't know if I am
doing this right.

Figuring out how to adjust to new stuff is hard for you and your kids. You
will all need time to adjust. Go slow, say yes more. Be in the moment, be
right there with them.

I know it is hard at first just needing some moral
support. The siblings without rivalry book does not work very well
with the younger ones...I am wondering any wisdom for me? I need it
big time.

The hardest thing for me to learn was to be happy exactly where we are. Some
days are more challenging and are really crazy. That's life. It is your
perspective that creates the judgment. I had to learn that just because my
kids fight or my kid does something "weird" in public it doesn't mean I am a
"bad" mama. If my ds eats nothing but candy one day, it is not a reflection
on me. I can be mindful and loving when my kid is throwing a fit. It takes
practice but it starts to get easier as you do it more and more.

The biggest key to helping sibs get along is not to take sides. be there to
help them work it out but don't tell them the right way, listen to them
openly.

btw My big hurdle was eating. I am a health "nut". It was really difficult
(ok it still is) for me to give up control in this area. My ds5 loves candy
and sweets. he has pretty much had free access (within our budget) for about
2 years now. And I still get tense every once in a while when he goes on a
binge. I know how to not only hold my tongue but relax through it. At 5 he
is learning to listen to his body, I am so thrilled for him. I never had
that option as a kid. And just today he fell asleep in the car. dd11 and I
ran into the farm store to get apples for babydd's party. We got apples,
apple cider and cheese. She remembered that they have old fashion candy
sticks so she wanted to get on for her and her sibs. I thought that was
thoughtful. When dd11 or ds5 was a baby I would have freaked f someone gave
them candy...now I am letting my one year have a candy stick. That is
progress for me. When ds woke up his sister havded him the candy. He smiled
and thanked her. Then he saw she was eating a pear and wanted that instead.
So he eat a pear (to the seeds) and then had the candy stick. He wouldn't
have been able to choose to eat a pear over candy a couple years ago either.
He had to feel free to eat which ever he choose before he could really eat
freely.

Faith

--
http://faithvoid.blogspot.com/
www.bearthmama.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], "aenclade" <aenclade@...>
wrote:
> Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children?

There's a whole group devoted to RU with younger children - Always
Unschooled:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysUnschooled/

>We dropped out of preschool a
> month ago.

A month seems like a long time with little kids, but its not *so*
long, really. Especially since it seems like there's been some
stress with dad being gone and mom being tired. Expect a certain
amount of "transitionalness" as all y'all get used to being home
together.

>My 5 year old wants to watch lots of TV

A good time for extra snuggling. Do you have lots of toys in the
same room as the tv? After awhile you'll likely find they play as
much as they watch - if not more. My 7yo likes to have tv on in the
background while she plays, but I swear I don't know how she has
time to watch with all the projects she has going on!

>they both don't want to go to bed

Do you mean you're trying to get them to bed at a certain time? That
doesn't work for a Lot of kids. It takes time for young people to
figure out the whole "energy management" thing. What does "tired"
mean, beyond some kind of weird parental agenda? It takes some time
and experimentation to get a handle on it.

Something to keep in mind if the kids seem "over tired" is to make
sure they are getting plenty of protein. Some of that grogginess is
a need for food/drinks. Its good to have snacks readily available
all the time *and* to offer them periodically, especially with
active kids, who don't always notice they are hungry.

>the 3 year old wakes up at the
> same time everyday even if he goes to bed late

Some people are like that - but its also a good idea to look for
environmental factors, like the sun coming up! If there's something
*waking* him, you may be able to change that. If not, well I've been
there with a cranky "hung over" 3yo, its no fun, for sure, but you
can take steps to make it better. The most important is to make a
mental note: Kid is Tired, and plan your day accordingly. Pare down
any errands or outings to what's purely necessary. Plan to do more
snuggling or bathing or tv watching or any other "calming"
activities. Offer protein regularly. The idea is to ease the stress
for everyone and be his ally in terms of figuring out this
whole "sleep" thing.

>My boys
> are just turning 3 and 5...they are boys with loads of physical
> energy, demands and sibling rivalry.

The more time and energy you can spend helping them get their
various needs met, the better. Find ways to work *with* all that
energy- make sure there are plenty of things for them to climb, hit,
throw, tackle, jump on (and off and over), swing, swing on... you
get the idea! Take note of when they seem to need snacks and try to
offer those *before* they get to the so-hungry-I'm-gonna-hit-someone
stage. Also notice any kind of natural ups and downs - for instance,
maybe one of them needs a break around the time the other usually
gears up? So you'd look for a way to make both those things
possible - like going for a walk with one in a stroller, or setting
up one with a bath while you play "balloon soccer" with the other.

Plan to drop any projects or expectations you have for yourself for
awhile so you can devote extra time and energy to your kids. Pare
down the housework to a bare minimum (even if you have to lower your
standards) or find ways to streamline the cleanup. That's something
I still do periodically, when I notice my kids are more grumpy and
out of sorts than usual, and it almost always helps to get us all
reconnected and restore everyone's equilibrium.

>I am having a couple of bad days
> now...feeling like a crappy mother for being so tired and cranky
from
> lack of sleep...questioning myself constantly...feeling
disconnected
> from everyone I know.

Oh, geez and here I go telling you to Spend more time and energy!
But just like you can look for ways for one kid to get a little down
time while the other plays, you can look for the same sort of thing
with yourSelf in mind. Indoor play-places can be a boon for that -
you can sit on a bench and zone out while the kids whoop it up.
Bubbles can work well, too - you sit and blow them, the kids run
around trying to catch them. A length of soft fabric is nice, too -
something really "silky". You hold two corners and wave it gently
while the kids run in and out underneath. I don't know where you
live, but in my neck of the woods we have lots of small streams and
creeks that are fantastic for young kids' play. Lots of mud and
frogs and rocks and mud and crawdads and slime and mud. Bring a
change of clothes if you do that ;)

And don't forget the tv! Don't use tv-time as a way to get housework
done, sit with the kids. Use it as a chance to connect with them.
Even if they're all wrapped up in the show, they will be happy to
have you with them and feel closer to you. That's worth a Lot. Just
hanging out around the tv with my kids goes a long way to smoothing
things over when they are getting on each other's nerves.

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

Kathleen Gehrke

>
> ~~Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children? My
boys
> are just turning 3 and 5...they are boys with loads of physical
> energy, demands and sibling rivalry.~~


With younger kids and high energy kids I have found helping them
with lots of outlets works great.

My kids needed parks, trampolines, and lots of games to burn off all
of their need to move their bodies.

Sometimes when they were little the rivalry seemed to be about not
knowing where to channel the energy. So fighting seem to release
some of it, or at least send it towards a target.

Four of our boys were within five years of each other and they were
guys on the move. We would race and roll and divert. You know your
boys. You know what matters to who... Like Robby really needed to
hold the bag when it came to snacks. So it worked best if I asked Rob
if he wanted to pass out the candy and then he felt powerful. He
wanted to be in control. The other three just wanted to make sure
they got some:] So meet the needs and divert possible explosions with
other activities.

Sandra Dodd talked about helping kids who were having a tough day
have time in. That worked great for my kids. If someone was seemingly
fragile I make sure they are getting mom time, comfort (be in the way
of a backrub or an invite to help me make cookies) something that
reconnects them to themselves and me too.

It is wonderful this respectful way of doing life with our kids, but
it is us, me sometimes still who must undo the way I have done
things. Rethink and find the path that honors each of us.

Kathleen
>  

Pamela Sorooshian

Those of us with older kids had young kids once.

Don't rule out the possibility that we remember and we have
perspective and can look back with the benefit of hindsight being
20/20, of course <G>.

You're in the very very beginning stages of unschooling - life is a
little wild and crazy with kids the ages of yours - so expect that and
go with it, don't resist it. Support their interests - that is your
unschooling mantra. Their interests are being physical and wild, right?

Do things together out of the house really often in places that
encourage really active hard play. They need the burn-off time. Maybe
stop now and make a list of ALL the places you can think of that are
within, say, an hour of home. Every different park, beach, playground,
ice-skating and roller-skating rinks, bowling, play places at fast
food restaurants. Water play is the BEST - a pool is ideal, playing in
sprinklers, with a hose, with lots of containers, a slip-n-slide, or
even in the bathtub, is great. Put down a bunch of towels all over the
floor and let them splash and have fun. Let them do that alone, not
always with their brother, too, because water play is very centering
and brings a deep sense of peace. With little boys that age, I'd be
going out every single day. Also, be sure you have plenty of play
equipment at home - a trampoline in the back yard, a swing set and
other climbing equipment?

Initiate fun activity that use a lot of energy. I used to set up
"obstacle courses" in the house when the weather was bad. After I'd
set one up, we'd time them on it, over and over. Then they'd get
started making their own obstacle courses and would spend a long time
doing them. When I was out at thrift stores or Big Lots or 99 cent
stores, I'd find things that could be used as part of an obstacle
course. Be really creative.

IF they're interested, they might like a martial arts activity that is
geared toward young children. Martial arts programs can sometimes be
really really fun for little kids with a lot of focus on games. Shop
around and choose carefully, though.

Sibling rivalry will be lessened the more you find many ways to
support their interests and provide an abundance of what they need. It
won't disappear entirely, probably, because these are kids who are
just learning to be social and they're living in very close proximity
to others who are also just learning. Conflict is pretty much
inevitable, to some degree. Expect it and don't get all emotional over
it, yourself. Try distracting them toward something cool/positive/
desired as often as possible - in a way that meets the child's needs
to the maximum extent you can manage. Sometimes "give it to them in
fantasy" is an amazing tension-reducer in sibling rivalry situations.
For example, if the kids are fighting over which tv show to watch or
over using the video game console or over who gets to sit where in the
car or .... give it to them in fantasy in a big way. Say, "Gosh, you
know what I really wish? I wish someone would invent a tv that showed
each person just what THAT person wanted to see - all at the same
time." IF you become skilled at staying cool, calm and collected in
the face of conflict, you can sense whether or not these kinds of
things will help or add fuel to the fire. Depends. Also, be sure to
give them plenty of time apart from each other. Maybe they need a lot
more of that than is convenient for you, but making the effort to find
ways to do it will pay off.

Nothing will just "fix" the sibling rivalry or the exhaustion that
comes of having 3 and 5 yo little boys around all the time. Change
your expectations and remember it is all a process. Try to experience
the feeling of life flowing like a river, rather than expecting it to
be static like a lake.

-pam


> ~~Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children? My
> boys
> are just turning 3 and 5...they are boys with loads of physical
> energy, demands and sibling rivalry.~~
>

Pamela Sorooshian

On Sep 28, 2008, at 5:54 PM, Kathleen Gehrke wrote:

>
> Sandra Dodd talked about helping kids who were having a tough day
> have time in. That worked great for

Also, Sandra has some great stuff about sibling rivalry and fighting
here:
<http://sandradodd.com/peace/fighting>

-pam

aenclade

Thank you Jodi, faith, Meredith, Kathleen and Pamela for taking the
time and writing such thoughtful and helpful advice. I appreciate it
from the bottom of my heart. The support I feel is the fuel this mama
needs to keep moving confidently on this chosen path. I live in Santa
Monica/Los Angeles so it is obvious to me that I need to create a
backyard oasis with trampoline, climbing set, etc. How I wish for a
creek with frogs...maybe we will move one day. Hubby is nervous about
a trampoline but he is just going to have to deal because I know this
outlet will change the vibe in our house.We will venture out to
outdoor places together more and more...my 5yo usually bolts in the
opposite direction of where the clan is going no matter what so I have
made a habit of trying to stay in enclosed places when it's just the 3
of us...adding energy to the pent up fire I know. Thanks again and
wish me luck!! I look forward to being able to pass along the wisdom
to someone like me one day!

Much love, Amanda


--- In [email protected], "aenclade" <aenclade@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks, your post gives me some hope.
>
> Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children? My boys
> are just turning 3 and 5...they are boys with loads of physical
> energy, demands and sibling rivalry. We dropped out of preschool a
> month ago. My 5 year old wants to watch lots of TV (I am really trying
> to trust it), they both don't want to go to bed, etc. It's hard to
> watch them gel in front of the screen for so long. I want Ru to be our
> life more than you could all know. I am having a couple of bad days
> now...feeling like a crappy mother for being so tired and cranky from
> lack of sleep...questioning myself constantly...feeling disconnected
> from everyone I know. I have gone to our local unschooling group a few
> times...most of the core parents don't have more than one child...plus
> the kids are older and into their own thing so they are not very
> interested in us for the most part.
> Dad was out of town for 4 days and they need me to cuddle them all
> night...they are missing him, waking up every 1-2 hours. They have
> never been sound sleepers.We have always slept with our children.My 5
> year old has started to sleep in but the 3 year old wakes up at the
> same time everyday even if he goes to bed late. I don't know if I am
> doing this right. I know it is hard at first just needing some moral
> support. The siblings without rivalry book does not work very well
> with the younger ones...I am wondering any wisdom for me? I need it
> big time.
>
> Amanda
>
> --- In [email protected], "Karen Swanay"
> <luvbullbreeds@> wrote:
> >
> > We pulled the boys from school about 2 yrs ago. And I homeschooled
> them.
> > It was damaging our relationship to be their teacher as well as
> parent. So
> > back to school they went for about 3 weeks and I pulled them out
> again. And
> > began unschooling them. The deschooling process was not going very
> well nor
> > very fast. I was having to defend my decision to my husband as
well as
> > fight my own demons.
> > Sleep was the first thing to "fix" itself in the boys. I already
> wrote this
> > in the sleep survey someone posted but when I let go of trying to
> control
> > sleep the boys went wild with it. Staying up all night, sleeping
> all day.
> > But here we are about a year into this and now they go to bed at
10 pm
> > every night (their idea) and they are up about 7-8am each day. Also
> their
> > idea.
> >
> > There hasn't been much "learning" in the conventional sense. Lots
> of screen
> > time. Not much outside time. But just in the last two weeks, my
> oldest who
> > hates to read asked me to buy him a book and he's been reading for
> pleasure.
> >
> >
> > Just let go and trust your kids. It works. The BIGGEST problem
> with this
> > whole RU/deschooling process has been my husband and my resistance
> to it.
> > All the "yeah buts"... And here I raised some hell while I had
> > pre-learning tantrums. Giving up what you always thought you knew
> is scary
> > and threatening and boy did I have fits here. I'm SO glad I finally
> got the
> > message to just shut up and read.
> >
> > With deep gratitude to Ren, Joyce, Kelly, et al.
> >
> > Karen
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>

Pamela Sorooshian

On Sep 29, 2008, at 10:25 AM, aenclade wrote:

> We will venture out to
> outdoor places together more and more...my 5yo usually bolts in the
> opposite direction of where the clan is going no matter what so I have
> made a habit of trying to stay in enclosed places when it's just the 3
> of us...adding energy to the pent up fire I know.

<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/smwla/>
This is the yahoogroups site for an unschooling group that meets in
Santa Monica and West LA -- Santa Monica West Los Angeles Child Led
Learners.

-Pam

k

Karl's dad was concerned about a trampoline too and what we did as a
compromise is to buy a small indoor exercise trampoline (meant for adults to
power train on). It's low to the ground... about 8" high and something like
35-40" in diameter.

~Katherine



On 9/29/08, aenclade <aenclade@...> wrote:
>
> Thank you Jodi, faith, Meredith, Kathleen and Pamela for taking the
> time and writing such thoughtful and helpful advice. I appreciate it
> from the bottom of my heart. The support I feel is the fuel this mama
> needs to keep moving confidently on this chosen path. I live in Santa
> Monica/Los Angeles so it is obvious to me that I need to create a
> backyard oasis with trampoline, climbing set, etc. How I wish for a
> creek with frogs...maybe we will move one day. Hubby is nervous about
> a trampoline but he is just going to have to deal because I know this
> outlet will change the vibe in our house.We will venture out to
> outdoor places together more and more...my 5yo usually bolts in the
> opposite direction of where the clan is going no matter what so I have
> made a habit of trying to stay in enclosed places when it's just the 3
> of us...adding energy to the pent up fire I know. Thanks again and
> wish me luck!! I look forward to being able to pass along the wisdom
> to someone like me one day!
>
> Much love, Amanda
>
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> "aenclade" <aenclade@...> wrote:
> >
> > Thanks, your post gives me some hope.
> >
> > Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children? My boys
> > are just turning 3 and 5...they are boys with loads of physical
> > energy, demands and sibling rivalry. We dropped out of preschool a
> > month ago. My 5 year old wants to watch lots of TV (I am really trying
> > to trust it), they both don't want to go to bed, etc. It's hard to
> > watch them gel in front of the screen for so long. I want Ru to be our
> > life more than you could all know. I am having a couple of bad days
> > now...feeling like a crappy mother for being so tired and cranky from
> > lack of sleep...questioning myself constantly...feeling disconnected
> > from everyone I know. I have gone to our local unschooling group a few
> > times...most of the core parents don't have more than one child...plus
> > the kids are older and into their own thing so they are not very
> > interested in us for the most part.
> > Dad was out of town for 4 days and they need me to cuddle them all
> > night...they are missing him, waking up every 1-2 hours. They have
> > never been sound sleepers.We have always slept with our children.My 5
> > year old has started to sleep in but the 3 year old wakes up at the
> > same time everyday even if he goes to bed late. I don't know if I am
> > doing this right. I know it is hard at first just needing some moral
> > support. The siblings without rivalry book does not work very well
> > with the younger ones...I am wondering any wisdom for me? I need it
> > big time.
> >
> > Amanda
> >
> > --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> "Karen Swanay"
> > <luvbullbreeds@> wrote:
> > >
> > > We pulled the boys from school about 2 yrs ago. And I homeschooled
> > them.
> > > It was damaging our relationship to be their teacher as well as
> > parent. So
> > > back to school they went for about 3 weeks and I pulled them out
> > again. And
> > > began unschooling them. The deschooling process was not going very
> > well nor
> > > very fast. I was having to defend my decision to my husband as
> well as
> > > fight my own demons.
> > > Sleep was the first thing to "fix" itself in the boys. I already
> > wrote this
> > > in the sleep survey someone posted but when I let go of trying to
> > control
> > > sleep the boys went wild with it. Staying up all night, sleeping
> > all day.
> > > But here we are about a year into this and now they go to bed at
> 10 pm
> > > every night (their idea) and they are up about 7-8am each day. Also
> > their
> > > idea.
> > >
> > > There hasn't been much "learning" in the conventional sense. Lots
> > of screen
> > > time. Not much outside time. But just in the last two weeks, my
> > oldest who
> > > hates to read asked me to buy him a book and he's been reading for
> > pleasure.
> > >
> > >
> > > Just let go and trust your kids. It works. The BIGGEST problem
> > with this
> > > whole RU/deschooling process has been my husband and my resistance
> > to it.
> > > All the "yeah buts"... And here I raised some hell while I had
> > > pre-learning tantrums. Giving up what you always thought you knew
> > is scary
> > > and threatening and boy did I have fits here. I'm SO glad I finally
> > got the
> > > message to just shut up and read.
> > >
> > > With deep gratitude to Ren, Joyce, Kelly, et al.
> > >
> > > Karen
> > >
> > >
> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> > >
> >
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jeanette Crichton

IKEA sells a rope ladder and rings (to hang from and flip, like gymnasts). We bought some to hang inside our house, but we moved before we ever got them up. We are now renting and the owners don't want us putting anything larger than a nail through the walls. BUMMER! I'm not sure who was more excited about our find- me or my 5 and 3 yo boys. BTW, I frequently use my body as their jungle gym. We have done "circus tricks" (as we like to call them) since the boys were really little. We also do lots of "rough housing" around here.
Jeanette



----- Original Message ----
From: k <katherand@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, September 29, 2008 11:18:37 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Not a surprise to any RU veteran but might be a boost to other newbies


Karl's dad was concerned about a trampoline too and what we did as a
compromise is to buy a small indoor exercise trampoline (meant for adults to
power train on). It's low to the ground... about 8" high and something like
35-40" in diameter.

~Katherine

On 9/29/08, aenclade <aenclade@yahoo. com> wrote:
>
> Thank you Jodi, faith, Meredith, Kathleen and Pamela for taking the
> time and writing such thoughtful and helpful advice. I appreciate it
> from the bottom of my heart. The support I feel is the fuel this mama
> needs to keep moving confidently on this chosen path. I live in Santa
> Monica/Los Angeles so it is obvious to me that I need to create a
> backyard oasis with trampoline, climbing set, etc. How I wish for a
> creek with frogs...maybe we will move one day. Hubby is nervous about
> a trampoline but he is just going to have to deal because I know this
> outlet will change the vibe in our house.We will venture out to
> outdoor places together more and more...my 5yo usually bolts in the
> opposite direction of where the clan is going no matter what so I have
> made a habit of trying to stay in enclosed places when it's just the 3
> of us...adding energy to the pent up fire I know. Thanks again and
> wish me luck!! I look forward to being able to pass along the wisdom
> to someone like me one day!
>
> Much love, Amanda
>
> --- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com<unschoolingbasics% 40yahoogroups. com>,
> "aenclade" <aenclade@.. .> wrote:
> >
> > Thanks, your post gives me some hope.
> >
> > Does anyone have any experience with RU and younger children? My boys
> > are just turning 3 and 5...they are boys with loads of physical
> > energy, demands and sibling rivalry. We dropped out of preschool a
> > month ago. My 5 year old wants to watch lots of TV (I am really trying
> > to trust it), they both don't want to go to bed, etc. It's hard to
> > watch them gel in front of the screen for so long. I want Ru to be our
> > life more than you could all know. I am having a couple of bad days
> > now...feeling like a crappy mother for being so tired and cranky from
> > lack of sleep...questioning myself constantly.. .feeling disconnected
> > from everyone I know. I have gone to our local unschooling group a few
> > times...most of the core parents don't have more than one child...plus
> > the kids are older and into their own thing so they are not very
> > interested in us for the most part.
> > Dad was out of town for 4 days and they need me to cuddle them all
> > night...they are missing him, waking up every 1-2 hours. They have
> > never been sound sleepers.We have always slept with our children.My 5
> > year old has started to sleep in but the 3 year old wakes up at the
> > same time everyday even if he goes to bed late. I don't know if I am
> > doing this right. I know it is hard at first just needing some moral
> > support. The siblings without rivalry book does not work very well
> > with the younger ones...I am wondering any wisdom for me? I need it
> > big time.
> >
> > Amanda
> >
> > --- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com<unschoolingbasics% 40yahoogroups. com>,
> "Karen Swanay"
> > <luvbullbreeds@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > We pulled the boys from school about 2 yrs ago. And I homeschooled
> > them.
> > > It was damaging our relationship to be their teacher as well as
> > parent. So
> > > back to school they went for about 3 weeks and I pulled them out
> > again. And
> > > began unschooling them. The deschooling process was not going very
> > well nor
> > > very fast. I was having to defend my decision to my husband as
> well as
> > > fight my own demons.
> > > Sleep was the first thing to "fix" itself in the boys. I already
> > wrote this
> > > in the sleep survey someone posted but when I let go of trying to
> > control
> > > sleep the boys went wild with it. Staying up all night, sleeping
> > all day.
> > > But here we are about a year into this and now they go to bed at
> 10 pm
> > > every night (their idea) and they are up about 7-8am each day. Also
> > their
> > > idea.
> > >
> > > There hasn't been much "learning" in the conventional sense. Lots
> > of screen
> > > time. Not much outside time. But just in the last two weeks, my
> > oldest who
> > > hates to read asked me to buy him a book and he's been reading for
> > pleasure.
> > >
> > >
> > > Just let go and trust your kids. It works. The BIGGEST problem
> > with this
> > > whole RU/deschooling process has been my husband and my resistance
> > to it.
> > > All the "yeah buts"... And here I raised some hell while I had
> > > pre-learning tantrums. Giving up what you always thought you knew
> > is scary
> > > and threatening and boy did I have fits here. I'm SO glad I finally
> > got the
> > > message to just shut up and read.
> > >
> > > With deep gratitude to Ren, Joyce, Kelly, et al.
> > >
> > > Karen
> > >
> > >
> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> > >
> >
>
>
>

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]