Adrean Clark

Jael is going through a bath strike now. It's been around a month, I
think. I've offered to run the water for him, get him what he needs,
told him of my fears abt it (kids teasing him, etc.). In the past I've
asked him to give me a day he'd like to bathe on and firmly set him to
it. But this time I really want him to choose it for himself and have
good hygenie. I think he's deschooling it, would rather have it out
of his system once and for all.

The wait and keep trying again worked for the youngest's haircut. He
plopped in the stylist's chair with no problem after about four months
of respecting his wishes. Am I in for that too? Any suggestions? :/

Adrean

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Shannon Bonafede

I don't know his age so I don't know if any of those will work for you. My
oldest boy is almost 8. For a while it was the soap was too harsh - he is
very sensitive but we switched to Koala Pals and most of those problems went
away. Sometimes I think he feels he is missing something if he takes a bath
or shower. He still want me or his father to wash his hair but then the rest
is all him.

We make bathing fun... tub toys (like water experiments), bubbles not just
the kind you put in the water, body soap paint (we make our own) now that it
is summer baby pool baths are a fun way to cool down, soap/water wars,
bathing doesn't always have to happen in the tub - getting the kids to wash
the outdoor furniture usually gets them clean too.

I also have two varietys of bathing... there is the let's get clean shower
which I will even do with/for the kids. I did not know for a long time as a
child that you could shower quickly get it done and move on with life. I was
probably in high school before I figured out I could do something other then
a 1/2 hour - 3 hour bath. When my children really don't want to bath... I
ask if the want a quicky. I draw just enough water to get them wet, soap up
and rinse. Dry them off and send them off to get dressed.

Hope these help,
Shannon

_____

From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Adrean Clark
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:48 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Bath strike



Jael is going through a bath strike now. It's been around a month, I
think. I've offered to run the water for him, get him what he needs,
told him of my fears abt it (kids teasing him, etc.). In the past I've
asked him to give me a day he'd like to bathe on and firmly set him to
it. But this time I really want him to choose it for himself and have
good hygenie. I think he's deschooling it, would rather have it out
of his system once and for all.

The wait and keep trying again worked for the youngest's haircut. He
plopped in the stylist's chair with no problem after about four months
of respecting his wishes. Am I in for that too? Any suggestions? :/

Adrean

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Adrean Clark

Jael is 8. All three of my boys don't like water in their face. I
think the main issue is leaving a fun-filled activity and/or being
apart from the family in the bath. He's ok with me there but his twin
brothers bother him. I can't be there and keep the twins out because
I'm on my own.

On a little tangent, it's like he needs our company but is sick of
having his space invaded constantly by his brothers. How to have the
right balance? :/

Adrean

Debra Rossing

It's not either/or: either you force it OR he gets smelly. If he's over
about age 10 (I didn't notice an age mentioned), that's different than
if he's only 6 or 7. My DS is almost 10 and he'll sniff his armpits
occasionally to decide whether he needs a shower or not (which I find
humorous and a little tinged with "My baby is growing up"). There have
been times when he's gotten really grubby (mud, grass stains, dust,
dirt, you name it) and didn't want to bathe. So, I suggested a washcloth
bath. While he watches his choice of TV show or movie, I (careful not to
obstruct his view) wash one part of him at a time. He gets clean (which
is nice since I don't like grubby feets on my sheets, when he's sleeping
in my bed) and his time isn't interrupted. For hair washing, when he
does bathe or shower, we have a shampoo that he chose (cherry vanilla
scent) and I'll give him a folded over washcloth to cover his eyes so
nothing gets in and we pat his face dry at the end just in case of
drips. Something that really tipped the scales with DS was a couple
years ago, we were at a KOA kampground and the cabin we got was actually
handicapped-accessible - there was a bench seat in the walk-in shower
and it had dual shower heads so DS could sit and aim the lower shower
head at his chest. He loved it! When we got home, we went out as soon as
the budget allowed and got a kit to turn our standard shower into a dual
head setup - we can run the top, the bottom, or both and each head has a
few different spray settings. The bottom one doubles as a hand held too.
DS is now more likely to shower than to bathe because he has this
flexible arrangement (and sometimes we close the drain and set the
handheld down in the bottom of the tub and it acts as a fountain while
it fills and DS plays in the water) [parenthetically, I like having the
lower one for when I'm shaving my legs in the shower, I can keep a nice
flow of water over the area without having water cascading over my
face].

So, long story longer, maybe a discussion (if he's open to it) of what
kinds of things he'd like (different soaps perhaps - DS likes the
cucumber melon body wash we use and we have one of those puffs that soap
up really fluffy). Perhaps offer, if he's grubby/stinky, to give him a
once-over with a warm washcloth some evening, even if he says to just
wash his hands and feet.

Deb


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karen Swanay

My boys would rather not bathe (11 and 9) so rather than force it,
they spend a lot of time playing in the sprinkler. Soap isn't really
necessary most of the time. The only time it's a "rule" if you will
is when we get back from the beach because we are all covered with
sand and sunscreen and that's not comfortable nor is the sunscreen
safe for our birds and rats. The "rule" was discussed and decided on
by the 3 of us. Not just me. The boys don't want to get their pets
sick.

But anyway, maybe you could try the sprinkler?
Karen

guideforthree

--- In [email protected], "Adrean Clark"
<adreanaline@...> wrote:
>
> Jael is going through a bath strike now. It's been around a month, I
> think. Any suggestions? :/
>
> Adrean
>

My 7yo's pediatrician actually told me NOT to bathe my son unless he
really needs it, and to NEVER use soap. (My boy has problems with
eczema). If a *doctor* is saying my kid only needs a bath a couple
of times a month and he never needs soap, then I can only conclude
that baths really aren't as necessary as we sometimes think they are.
After all, oily skin and BO doesn't really hit until puberty - at
that point they start to notice the girls and then they actually want
to be clean.

If your boys are like mine, the main problem is the feet. Try a foot
bath. This can be done in the living room while they are watching tv.

Baby wipes work great for cleaning off those random dirty spots.

And lucky for us, the dirtiest time of year also seems to correspond
with water play. Running through the sprinkler after a sweaty day of
play is a great way for a dirty boy to get clean.

Tina

Ren Allen

~~On a little tangent, it's like he needs our company but is sick of
having his space invaded constantly by his brothers. How to have the
right balance? :/~~

Ah, that one can be difficult. Sierra adores her little brother, but
she also desperately needs space from his intensity sometimes. I have
no perfect answers, but a variety of tactics we've utilized. One is
using another parent, so is there a way for your older boy to hang out
with somebody you all enjoy for a few hours? Set up a playdate with a
friend to give him some space maybe?

Sometimes we rent Jalen a new movie or game and while he's engrossed
we can do something different. Also, activities that everyone enjoys
is helpful, with me in the middle as a buffer zone.:)

As far as the bath issue, this is the perfect time of year to set up a
sprinkler or a kiddie pool if water use is an issue. Water guns and
other fun water play outdoors can get kids pretty durn clean! Mine had
dishsoap and water on the trampoline the other day, talk about slippery.
Today it's chalk on the trampoline. Ya never know.

One of the essentials of staying Zen is my group of friends, my
"tribe" as it were. I think when you're swimming upstream (which you
largely are when it comes to unschooling lifestyles) you need a few
fish with you to make it less lonely sometimes.:)

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Faith Void

Just a quick thought, maybe he'd like to watch a movie when youcan't
be physically present. Or even liten to music or a book on tape. My
oldest has been bathing that way for years. My ds would also like to
watch a vidoe while I detangled his hair when it was long.
Faith

On Tue, May 6, 2008 at 12:35 PM, Adrean Clark <adreanaline@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> Jael is 8. All three of my boys don't like water in their face. I
> think the main issue is leaving a fun-filled activity and/or being
> apart from the family in the bath. He's ok with me there but his twin
> brothers bother him. I can't be there and keep the twins out because
> I'm on my own.
>
> On a little tangent, it's like he needs our company but is sick of
> having his space invaded constantly by his brothers. How to have the
> right balance? :/
>
> Adrean
>



--
www.bearthmama.com

Adrean Clark

I talked with Jael and worked out something: We'd wait until the twins
went to sleep and then I'd sit with him and help him with his bath.
It worked and he had a 2am bath. We are night people...

He had my company and undisturbed bath time both. I think I'll try
this once a week for now and after particularly active days.
.
We live in an apartment complex so implementing the sprinkler and pool
idea is a little tough tho I like the ideas very much. Management just
removed the screws off all the outdoor faucets. :( But I'll try water
guns with a little soap in 'em soon. :D

Unschooling is so much fun when things click. We went frog huntin'
tonight - funny that even when the kids were using their ears to track
the chirps, the deaf mom found them all with her eyes ;)

Adrean

On 5/6/08, Faith Void <littlemsvoid@...> wrote:
> Just a quick thought, maybe he'd like to watch a movie when youcan't
> be physically present. Or even liten to music or a book on tape. My
> oldest has been bathing that way for years. My ds would also like to
> watch a vidoe while I detangled his hair when it was long.
> Faith
>
> On Tue, May 6, 2008 at 12:35 PM, Adrean Clark <adreanaline@...> wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Jael is 8. All three of my boys don't like water in their face. I
> > think the main issue is leaving a fun-filled activity and/or being
> > apart from the family in the bath. He's ok with me there but his twin
> > brothers bother him. I can't be there and keep the twins out because
> > I'm on my own.
> >
> > On a little tangent, it's like he needs our company but is sick of
> > having his space invaded constantly by his brothers. How to have the
> > right balance? :/
> >
> > Adrean
> >
>
>
>
> --
> www.bearthmama.com
>

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Debra Rossing

>But I'll try water guns with a little soap in 'em soon. :D

I'd just go with water and leave off the soap - soap in the eye is
totally NOT comfortable to say the least

Deb


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pam Genant

--- In [email protected], "Debra Rossing"
<debra.rossing@...> wrote:
>
> It's not either/or: either you force it OR he gets smelly. If he's
over
> about age 10 (I didn't notice an age mentioned), that's different than
> if he's only 6 or 7. <<<<<<<<<

I just caught the last reply to this post and had to go back and read
the responses. LOL. I have two that do not take a bath for different
reasons. My youngest is 11 and just doesn't want to. He doesn't
smell. His hair doesn't smell. I think he takes a bath maybe once
every 6 months or so, LOL. In the summer he is in the pool and the hot
tub, but in the winter he isn't, and it doesn't seem to make a
difference yet.

My oldest is 13, he doesn't like the way the water feels on his hands.
So he showers maybe every couple of weeks. He is getting older, no
smell yet, LOL, but his hair will get a little greasy. When it bothers
him he will let me know and we will either use that no rise shampoo, or
I will wash his hair in the sink.

You mentioned that you are afraid the other children will tease him (or
something like that I think). Maybe these are just your fears,
something carried over. I know at our play groups there are some
smelly kids sometimes, but no one seems to care. The kids don't tease
them, it just isn't a big deal. I should preface that by saying we
hang out with a cool bunch of unschoolers.
Anyway just another bath story.

:-)
Pam G

barefootmamax4

--- In [email protected], "Shannon Bonafede"
<dragteine76@...> wrote:

>
> We make bathing fun... tub toys (like water experiments), bubbles not
just
> the kind you put in the water, body soap paint (we make our own)

Could you give me the recipe for that? I have been looking around for
bath paints and I haven't found any except from Avon and my daughter
gets a rash from them.
-Kelly

barefootmamax4

--- In [email protected], "guideforthree"
<guideforthree@...> wrote:
>If a *doctor* is saying my kid only needs a bath a couple
> of times a month and he never needs soap, then I can only conclude
> that baths really aren't as necessary as we sometimes think they
are.

My 3 yr old hates his hair being touched. He has asked to have it
washed about only two times in his whole life, both times were with
no shampoo. He never uses soap,just water. He does not smell,have
flakey scalp or oily hair. His hair is blonde and shiny. I started
looking into how often people really need to bathe a while ago when I
could see that his hair unwashing was going to be long term. I found
out that bushmen do not bathe because water is so scarce,but they are
not oily or sickly because of it. I found that a lot of people have
gone soap/shampoo free and use baking soda or just water for
cleaning. They say that the oilyness is caused by the washing
removing the natural oils and the body produces more to create a
balance.
-Kelly

Lisa

This is something that bothers my husband to no end! Our son now 6
goes through times when he wants a shower every day then long
stretches of time when I have no idea when he's had a bath last! He
doesn't smell except for right after playing outside and then it's
just typical little boy sweaty boy smell ...which he smells like even
if he's just had a shower and played outside! When my mother comes
to stay she is always asking him isn't it time for his bath... usually
at night before bed .. so then she figures he must be a morning
bather... then he says nope and on and on. He doesn't like his hands
to be dirty so I don't have to worry about that sort of thing which to
me would be my only issue (if I had an issue!) All of my kids have
gone through times of not wanting to bathe.... eventually they get to
the age when you can't get them out of the shower! My son now tells
grandma "hey mema we are in a DROUGHT don't you know? I am saving
water!"
Lisa B



--- In [email protected], "Pam Genant" <Genant2@...>
wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], "Debra Rossing"
> <debra.rossing@> wrote:
> >
> > It's not either/or: either you force it OR he gets smelly. If he's
> over
> > about age 10 (I didn't notice an age mentioned), that's different than
> > if he's only 6 or 7. <<<<<<<<<
>
> I just caught the last reply to this post and had to go back and read
> the responses. LOL. I have two that do not take a bath for different
> reasons. My youngest is 11 and just doesn't want to. He doesn't
> smell. His hair doesn't smell. I think he takes a bath maybe once
> every 6 months or so, LOL. In the summer he is in the pool and the hot
> tub, but in the winter he isn't, and it doesn't seem to make a
> difference yet.
>
> My oldest is 13, he doesn't like the way the water feels on his hands.
> So he showers maybe every couple of weeks. He is getting older, no
> smell yet, LOL, but his hair will get a little greasy. When it bothers
> him he will let me know and we will either use that no rise shampoo, or
> I will wash his hair in the sink.
>
> You mentioned that you are afraid the other children will tease him (or
> something like that I think). Maybe these are just your fears,
> something carried over. I know at our play groups there are some
> smelly kids sometimes, but no one seems to care. The kids don't tease
> them, it just isn't a big deal. I should preface that by saying we
> hang out with a cool bunch of unschoolers.
> Anyway just another bath story.
>
> :-)
> Pam G
>

Mara

The foot bath works great for us too as they like to be barefoot most of the time. I put a lot of soapy, bubbly warm water in a bowl and they stick their feet in. Sometimes they let me wash other areas as well in this way. Works great while watching TV. My boys (3 and 6) go through long periods of not bathing. In the winter, yes, months can go by. My little one still likes to play in the water though, mostly the bathroom sink.
Yesterday they came up with a fun game. They filled the sink with soap and water, pretended it was snow and put on a warm snowy coat as they called it with soap horns and soap hats on their hair. They played like that for a good half hour with my older one exclaiming later: look how shiny we are now. And I have barely seen them so clean. Any type of outdoor water play works well for now too -
I am always amazed as to how long they can go without them actuallly looking dirty. Even their hair does not get greasy or yucky. My 3 y.o. once put coconut oil all over his hair. After two days the oil had absorbed into his hair and it looked fresh and clean, without having to rinse anything out. Flour and water though was a bit trickier -
Good luck,
Mara



----- Original Message ----
From: guideforthree <guideforthree@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 6, 2008 3:15:47 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Bath strike


--- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com, "Adrean Clark"
<adreanaline@ ...> wrote:
>
> Jael is going through a bath strike now. It's been around a month, I
> think. Any suggestions? :/
>
> Adrean
>

My 7yo's pediatrician actually told me NOT to bathe my son unless he
really needs it, and to NEVER use soap. (My boy has problems with
eczema). If a *doctor* is saying my kid only needs a bath a couple
of times a month and he never needs soap, then I can only conclude
that baths really aren't as necessary as we sometimes think they are.
After all, oily skin and BO doesn't really hit until puberty - at
that point they start to notice the girls and then they actually want
to be clean.

If your boys are like mine, the main problem is the feet. Try a foot
bath. This can be done in the living room while they are watching tv.

Baby wipes work great for cleaning off those random dirty spots.

And lucky for us, the dirtiest time of year also seems to correspond
with water play. Running through the sprinkler after a sweaty day of
play is a great way for a dirty boy to get clean.

Tina




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Shannon Bonafede

Oh sure it is very easy. We use the kids bath soap from melaleuca partly
because that what we have on hand and partly cause it has no coloring to get
in the way. I have seen colorless mild soap in holistic/herbal stores as
well. I take a ice tray and put about a squeeze of soap in each hole then
put a drop or two of food dye. There are lots of kinds we have standard
colors, neon and pastels. You can also put the soap in finger paints or
acrylics. Add a paint brush. My daughter likes to paint the tub, walls and
herself then when she is finished she asks for the water to be drawn. My son
likes to mix the colors in the water until the water looks like mud... eww!

Oh, on note I don't know why but once you put soap in the paint it doesn't
stain. We have tile with dark grout. I don't know if it would stain light
grout but my daughter has even painted a white towel with very dark finger
paint with soap and it washed right out.

Happy painting!

Shannon

_____

From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of barefootmamax4
Sent: Wednesday, May 07, 2008 9:51 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Bath strike



--- In unschoolingbasics@ <mailto:unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com, "Shannon Bonafede"
<dragteine76@...> wrote:

>
> We make bathing fun... tub toys (like water experiments), bubbles not
just
> the kind you put in the water, body soap paint (we make our own)

Could you give me the recipe for that? I have been looking around for
bath paints and I haven't found any except from Avon and my daughter
gets a rash from them.
-Kelly







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]