What if......
melissa_hice
My mother-in-law called this evening to tell me that she has been
thinking seriously about something that I really needed to consider.
She asked me what would become of my children if something were to
happen to me. She was concerned that my kids would then have to go to
school and that it would be hard for them to adjust when they have
never had any school-type experiences.
I told her that I didn't think living a life of what if's was a very
good way to live. I said that if something were to happen to me, then
my children would have wonderful memories of our times spent together
every day doing things we love and living life joyfully. What a sad
thing it would be if something happened to me and my children had very
few memories of us spending time together.
Melissa
thinking seriously about something that I really needed to consider.
She asked me what would become of my children if something were to
happen to me. She was concerned that my kids would then have to go to
school and that it would be hard for them to adjust when they have
never had any school-type experiences.
I told her that I didn't think living a life of what if's was a very
good way to live. I said that if something were to happen to me, then
my children would have wonderful memories of our times spent together
every day doing things we love and living life joyfully. What a sad
thing it would be if something happened to me and my children had very
few memories of us spending time together.
Melissa
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/15/2008 4:12:09 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
mhice@... writes:
My mother-in-law called this evening to tell me that she has been
thinking seriously about something that I really needed to consider.
She asked me what would become of my children if something were to
happen to me. She was concerned that my kids would then have to go to
school and that it would be hard for them to adjust when they have
never had any school-type experiences.
I think that is a reasonable concern, personally. I know I need to make sure
that if something happened to myself and to my DH, that the kids will be in
a place as similar as possible to what they've been with. they need good,
loving, kind, gentle guardians that will honor what I have begun.
I told her that I didn't think living a life of what if's was a very
good way to live.
And I agree.
I said that if something were to happen to me, then
my children would have wonderful memories of our times spent together
every day doing things we love and living life joyfully.
Thank goodness, huh? That makes ME glad to - for you, for me, for all of us
that have been able to give that out to the children we love so much.
What a sad
thing it would be if something happened to me and my children had very
few memories of us spending time together.
Makes me teary. I totally agree. But I ALSO don't see a huge "what-if"
lifestyle happening from being a bit pragmatic about the future. We all will die.
We don't know when. I know I want my kids to be covered and protected and
safe and in an area of love and as close as possible to what they've been
accustomed to. I think it makes sense to plan for potential issues, but not to live
in Fear or in a What-if state. I think that balance can be achieved :)
Melissa
Karen
**************It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms and advice on AOL Money &
Finance. (http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolcmp00300000002850)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mhice@... writes:
My mother-in-law called this evening to tell me that she has been
thinking seriously about something that I really needed to consider.
She asked me what would become of my children if something were to
happen to me. She was concerned that my kids would then have to go to
school and that it would be hard for them to adjust when they have
never had any school-type experiences.
I think that is a reasonable concern, personally. I know I need to make sure
that if something happened to myself and to my DH, that the kids will be in
a place as similar as possible to what they've been with. they need good,
loving, kind, gentle guardians that will honor what I have begun.
I told her that I didn't think living a life of what if's was a very
good way to live.
And I agree.
I said that if something were to happen to me, then
my children would have wonderful memories of our times spent together
every day doing things we love and living life joyfully.
Thank goodness, huh? That makes ME glad to - for you, for me, for all of us
that have been able to give that out to the children we love so much.
What a sad
thing it would be if something happened to me and my children had very
few memories of us spending time together.
Makes me teary. I totally agree. But I ALSO don't see a huge "what-if"
lifestyle happening from being a bit pragmatic about the future. We all will die.
We don't know when. I know I want my kids to be covered and protected and
safe and in an area of love and as close as possible to what they've been
accustomed to. I think it makes sense to plan for potential issues, but not to live
in Fear or in a What-if state. I think that balance can be achieved :)
Melissa
Karen
**************It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms and advice on AOL Money &
Finance. (http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolcmp00300000002850)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~She was concerned that my kids would then have to go to
school and that it would be hard for them to adjust when they have
never had any school-type experiences.~~
It's a myth.
If something happened to you then your kids are going to have a hard
time period!
My always unschooled nephew decided to go to high school. He's gotten
straight A's all year and decided school is a waste of time for the
most part and is only taking one or two classes of interest next year.
It's a myth that more school prepares you to do better in school. It's
a myth that the foremost concern would be adaptation to school if a
parent dies. I agree that "what if's" are NOT a good way to make
joyful decisions for today's reality.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
school and that it would be hard for them to adjust when they have
never had any school-type experiences.~~
It's a myth.
If something happened to you then your kids are going to have a hard
time period!
My always unschooled nephew decided to go to high school. He's gotten
straight A's all year and decided school is a waste of time for the
most part and is only taking one or two classes of interest next year.
It's a myth that more school prepares you to do better in school. It's
a myth that the foremost concern would be adaptation to school if a
parent dies. I agree that "what if's" are NOT a good way to make
joyful decisions for today's reality.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
ENSEMBLE S-WAYNFORTH
Simon and Linnaea are taking their first classes right now. Linnaea has had two Kung Fu classes and Simon had his first last night. They are interested, engaged and attentive. Simon is amazingly focused. It was fascinating to watch him in comparison with the couple of other kids in the class. He listened to direction, practiced what the instructor was saying as he waited his turn. He spoke up and asked for a bit of clarifying if he needed it. He was interested. If he'd been taking classes all of his life and this was just another one, I don't think he would be as confident or as engaged as he is. Linnaea is a little less interested in Kung Fu than is Simon, she is doing it for the fun of the movement and is much less concerned with picking up the specifics. If he was doing this to demonstrate to others something, maybe to pad out his college application, or to deal with bullies, I don't think that his excitement would be so obvious, his joy so great. If
he was doing this for me or for David there would be none of the passion that he is showing.
I don't think you can prepare someone for the misery that would come from being orphaned as a child. I don't think being inoculated with school experience would help them to buffer against those emotional storms. I think the OP is absolutely right that it is better to line their lives with glorious memories of connection and love and kindness than to make sure that if the worst happens they are prepared. You can't be prepared, you have to wing it.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
============
~~She was concerned that my kids would then have to go to
school and that it would be hard for them to adjust when they have
never had any school-type experiences.~~
It's a myth.
If something happened to you then your kids are going to have a hard
time period!
My always unschooled nephew decided to go to high school. He's gotten
straight A's all year and decided school is a waste of time for the
most part and is only taking one or two classes of interest next year.
It's a myth that more school prepares you to do better in school. It's
a myth that the foremost concern would be adaptation to school if a
parent dies. I agree that "what if's" are NOT a good way to make
joyful decisions for today's reality.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
he was doing this for me or for David there would be none of the passion that he is showing.
I don't think you can prepare someone for the misery that would come from being orphaned as a child. I don't think being inoculated with school experience would help them to buffer against those emotional storms. I think the OP is absolutely right that it is better to line their lives with glorious memories of connection and love and kindness than to make sure that if the worst happens they are prepared. You can't be prepared, you have to wing it.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
============
~~She was concerned that my kids would then have to go to
school and that it would be hard for them to adjust when they have
never had any school-type experiences.~~
It's a myth.
If something happened to you then your kids are going to have a hard
time period!
My always unschooled nephew decided to go to high school. He's gotten
straight A's all year and decided school is a waste of time for the
most part and is only taking one or two classes of interest next year.
It's a myth that more school prepares you to do better in school. It's
a myth that the foremost concern would be adaptation to school if a
parent dies. I agree that "what if's" are NOT a good way to make
joyful decisions for today's reality.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diana jenner
On Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 4:11 PM, melissa_hice <mhice@...> wrote:
important than "school just-in-case" not to mention FAR more kind, as well
:)
Hayden has few memories of his dad, who died when he was 2 (and *surprise* I
didn't put him in school!!!) -- I wish he had more, though at least he has
my stories of when his dad was the stay-home parent and memories of them
together. He has some really cool "emotional" memories of his dad, usually
when he's really happy he'll remember feeling that way in his dad's
presence. Lately, when he wrestles with Scotty (our Super Cool Boyfriend) he
has some flashes of how fun it was to "rassle" with Mitch. Priceless.
When my dd, Hannah, died at 9.5 (having never gone to school and spending
maybe a grand total of two weeks, in total hours, separated from me), my
best friend's dd, then 17, figured out that between daycare and school she
had spent an entire 9.5 years separated from her mama. Yeah, they're lucky
to still have each other, they'll still never ever be able to get that time
back & time together diminishes greatly the older ZoAnne becomes... I, on
the other hand, have *no* regrets about having 9.5 years of amazing memories
of Hannah. AND Hayden is lucky to have had an entire 7.5 years with his
sister, on his team, in the house, us together... how many memories of her
would he have if she'd/they'd been shipped off to school?? Not the same
quantity, nor the same quality... I'm all about quality :) (I'm done being
hung up on quantity!!!)
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> What a sad thing it would be if something happened to me and my children**Indeed!! That is what I would say to her. Memories of mama are FAR more
> had very few memories of us spending time together.
>
important than "school just-in-case" not to mention FAR more kind, as well
:)
Hayden has few memories of his dad, who died when he was 2 (and *surprise* I
didn't put him in school!!!) -- I wish he had more, though at least he has
my stories of when his dad was the stay-home parent and memories of them
together. He has some really cool "emotional" memories of his dad, usually
when he's really happy he'll remember feeling that way in his dad's
presence. Lately, when he wrestles with Scotty (our Super Cool Boyfriend) he
has some flashes of how fun it was to "rassle" with Mitch. Priceless.
When my dd, Hannah, died at 9.5 (having never gone to school and spending
maybe a grand total of two weeks, in total hours, separated from me), my
best friend's dd, then 17, figured out that between daycare and school she
had spent an entire 9.5 years separated from her mama. Yeah, they're lucky
to still have each other, they'll still never ever be able to get that time
back & time together diminishes greatly the older ZoAnne becomes... I, on
the other hand, have *no* regrets about having 9.5 years of amazing memories
of Hannah. AND Hayden is lucky to have had an entire 7.5 years with his
sister, on his team, in the house, us together... how many memories of her
would he have if she'd/they'd been shipped off to school?? Not the same
quantity, nor the same quality... I'm all about quality :) (I'm done being
hung up on quantity!!!)
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]