Re: Re:Help
Grame Family
Hi,
I've been lurking for a few months. Thought I would introduce myself but
first for Sherri-Lee. You have been describing my 4.5 yr old girl exactly.
Everything. The problem for me is not that I'm pregnant, thank the gods,
but I have two other children, 6.5 yr boy and 2 yr old boy and they need
things too! I just wanted you to know you are not alone and I feel like I
am always walking on eggshells with her. I'm hoping someday soon it will
pass because the last 7 days have been nuts! So I've been listening to the
advice, some would work with her but most does not because she is a 10 on
the persistant scale and even if it's something crazy like, I want you to
build me a swingset now! And it's nearing midnight and well, you get the
idea, she just doesn't let it go.
Now to introduce myself. I am Raven mama to Tristan who is the 6.5 yr old,
he would be in first grade, attended kindergarten for fun, it wasn't fun by
the end just boring. To much coloring and not enough reading for him. So
he's home this year. We are not to unschooling completely yet. I know I am
the one struggling with this and I am working on it slowly. We have no
schedule to the day however and I am open to doing whatever the three of
them will let me do, but I still try to ask him to do a math worksheet or
handwriting. I never force him however, just a, "Hey want to do math now?"
if he no's then we don't do it. He reads what ever he wants, now he's
totally into book making and cartoons but I have to write the words.
Yesterday he shot a lego mini movie with our digital camera and dad's
burning it on CD today. I am just having a hard time letting go of school
because I know he's super bright and could pick up on Math quickly and excel
way beyond his years. (If you want to send me positive, he'll do that in
his own time, I'd love to hear it!)
So there is Kess my 4.5 yr old daughter, artist, lover of all things girl.
And Wynn the 2 yr old I call him my little Evil Kanevil babe as he climbs
EVERYTHING, finds the most dangerous things to play with or to pick up etc.
He keeps me busy and on my toes.
So that our family. I try to be a ceramic artist in my spare time, but lets
be real there really isn't any spare time. I have also taken up knitting
recently to calm my creative spirits. Oh we are also in Manhattan, KS and we
are desperately looking for anyone homeschooling without a religious slant.
Raven
I've been lurking for a few months. Thought I would introduce myself but
first for Sherri-Lee. You have been describing my 4.5 yr old girl exactly.
Everything. The problem for me is not that I'm pregnant, thank the gods,
but I have two other children, 6.5 yr boy and 2 yr old boy and they need
things too! I just wanted you to know you are not alone and I feel like I
am always walking on eggshells with her. I'm hoping someday soon it will
pass because the last 7 days have been nuts! So I've been listening to the
advice, some would work with her but most does not because she is a 10 on
the persistant scale and even if it's something crazy like, I want you to
build me a swingset now! And it's nearing midnight and well, you get the
idea, she just doesn't let it go.
Now to introduce myself. I am Raven mama to Tristan who is the 6.5 yr old,
he would be in first grade, attended kindergarten for fun, it wasn't fun by
the end just boring. To much coloring and not enough reading for him. So
he's home this year. We are not to unschooling completely yet. I know I am
the one struggling with this and I am working on it slowly. We have no
schedule to the day however and I am open to doing whatever the three of
them will let me do, but I still try to ask him to do a math worksheet or
handwriting. I never force him however, just a, "Hey want to do math now?"
if he no's then we don't do it. He reads what ever he wants, now he's
totally into book making and cartoons but I have to write the words.
Yesterday he shot a lego mini movie with our digital camera and dad's
burning it on CD today. I am just having a hard time letting go of school
because I know he's super bright and could pick up on Math quickly and excel
way beyond his years. (If you want to send me positive, he'll do that in
his own time, I'd love to hear it!)
So there is Kess my 4.5 yr old daughter, artist, lover of all things girl.
And Wynn the 2 yr old I call him my little Evil Kanevil babe as he climbs
EVERYTHING, finds the most dangerous things to play with or to pick up etc.
He keeps me busy and on my toes.
So that our family. I try to be a ceramic artist in my spare time, but lets
be real there really isn't any spare time. I have also taken up knitting
recently to calm my creative spirits. Oh we are also in Manhattan, KS and we
are desperately looking for anyone homeschooling without a religious slant.
Raven
TreeGoddess
On Sep 16, 2004, at 10:41 AM, Grame Family wrote:
won't be able to help but to learn whatever it is they want to learn
about when they have the desire to learn it. (Could I throw "learn" in
there anywhere else? ;')
As far as "excel way beyond his years" . . . well, I know lots of folks
well into their years that don't know squat about math and have
forgotten most of what was force fed to them in school for X years so
there goes that theory. hee hee
Give him time, Hon. He's only 6! He's got plenty of time to learn
whatever it is his desires and interests lead him to. :)
Warmly,
-Tracy-
> [I am just having a hard time letting go of schoolThen what is there to worry about? :D A bright, inquisitive child
> because I know he's super bright and could pick up
> on Math quickly and excel way beyond his years.]
won't be able to help but to learn whatever it is they want to learn
about when they have the desire to learn it. (Could I throw "learn" in
there anywhere else? ;')
As far as "excel way beyond his years" . . . well, I know lots of folks
well into their years that don't know squat about math and have
forgotten most of what was force fed to them in school for X years so
there goes that theory. hee hee
Give him time, Hon. He's only 6! He's got plenty of time to learn
whatever it is his desires and interests lead him to. :)
Warmly,
-Tracy-
Sherri-Lee Pressman
Hi Raven,
Thanks for the btdt. That is exactly how I feel, like I am walking on egg
shells with her some days. And I don't want to feel that way. I shouldn't be
acting in certain ways in order to avoid her melt downs. I can see acting
ways to evade them or to prevent them but sheesh we were out today and I saw
her face changing and I almost cried at the thought of it again.
And hey being demanded to build a swing set at midnight is not that
weird...Hannah just hasn't thought of it yet:)
I think that is part of it, it all has to be RIGHT NOW! No matter what, no
thought for anyone else. And no matter how many "right now's" you responded
too immediately, there is another and another and another. To the point of
exhaustion.
Today I was very un-unschooly and just said no and told her why and that I
expected her to help... AND SHE DID! Couldn't believe it, but it worked and
she did not put up a stink. I think sometimes, she gets more demanding if I
seem to be waffling, like she smells my hesitation and goes for the
jugular:) So sounding emphatic might be the order of the day these days for
her. We will see.
Welcome to the list and good luck on your trip to unschooling. I have not
had a problem with letting go of school like that since we have never done
anything like that with Hannah, my challenges come in the other side of it,
letting go of control of TV and food for example.
As for schooling, after all this time complaining about Hannah I have to say
this. She has decided to spell and has been feverish about learning her
letters and spelling things, and is constantly asking how to spell words,
which is really thrilling to see. She is also VERY into counting, we count
everything. She asks how many apples we want to buy and then wants to count
them out. She totally blew me away the other day by counting to 100 in the
van with only the reminder of 50 or 60 or 70 and then she flew with it.
So there is my brag too, helps me to remember she isn't just a tyrant right
now:)
Sherri-Lee
Need safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
-----Original Message-----
From: Grame Family [mailto:poochieville@...]
Sent: Thursday, September 16, 2004 7:42 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Re:Help
Hi,
I've been lurking for a few months. Thought I would introduce myself but
first for Sherri-Lee. You have been describing my 4.5 yr old girl exactly.
Everything. The problem for me is not that I'm pregnant, thank the gods,
but I have two other children, 6.5 yr boy and 2 yr old boy and they need
things too! I just wanted you to know you are not alone and I feel like I
am always walking on eggshells with her. I'm hoping someday soon it will
pass because the last 7 days have been nuts! So I've been listening to the
advice, some would work with her but most does not because she is a 10 on
the persistant scale and even if it's something crazy like, I want you to
build me a swingset now! And it's nearing midnight and well, you get the
idea, she just doesn't let it go.
Thanks for the btdt. That is exactly how I feel, like I am walking on egg
shells with her some days. And I don't want to feel that way. I shouldn't be
acting in certain ways in order to avoid her melt downs. I can see acting
ways to evade them or to prevent them but sheesh we were out today and I saw
her face changing and I almost cried at the thought of it again.
And hey being demanded to build a swing set at midnight is not that
weird...Hannah just hasn't thought of it yet:)
I think that is part of it, it all has to be RIGHT NOW! No matter what, no
thought for anyone else. And no matter how many "right now's" you responded
too immediately, there is another and another and another. To the point of
exhaustion.
Today I was very un-unschooly and just said no and told her why and that I
expected her to help... AND SHE DID! Couldn't believe it, but it worked and
she did not put up a stink. I think sometimes, she gets more demanding if I
seem to be waffling, like she smells my hesitation and goes for the
jugular:) So sounding emphatic might be the order of the day these days for
her. We will see.
Welcome to the list and good luck on your trip to unschooling. I have not
had a problem with letting go of school like that since we have never done
anything like that with Hannah, my challenges come in the other side of it,
letting go of control of TV and food for example.
As for schooling, after all this time complaining about Hannah I have to say
this. She has decided to spell and has been feverish about learning her
letters and spelling things, and is constantly asking how to spell words,
which is really thrilling to see. She is also VERY into counting, we count
everything. She asks how many apples we want to buy and then wants to count
them out. She totally blew me away the other day by counting to 100 in the
van with only the reminder of 50 or 60 or 70 and then she flew with it.
So there is my brag too, helps me to remember she isn't just a tyrant right
now:)
Sherri-Lee
Need safe and natural health products?
http://www.aloeessence.com
-----Original Message-----
From: Grame Family [mailto:poochieville@...]
Sent: Thursday, September 16, 2004 7:42 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Re:Help
Hi,
I've been lurking for a few months. Thought I would introduce myself but
first for Sherri-Lee. You have been describing my 4.5 yr old girl exactly.
Everything. The problem for me is not that I'm pregnant, thank the gods,
but I have two other children, 6.5 yr boy and 2 yr old boy and they need
things too! I just wanted you to know you are not alone and I feel like I
am always walking on eggshells with her. I'm hoping someday soon it will
pass because the last 7 days have been nuts! So I've been listening to the
advice, some would work with her but most does not because she is a 10 on
the persistant scale and even if it's something crazy like, I want you to
build me a swingset now! And it's nearing midnight and well, you get the
idea, she just doesn't let it go.
Robyn Coburn
<<<but I still try to ask him to do a math worksheet or
handwriting. I never force him however, just a, "Hey want to do math now?"
if he no's then we don't do it. He reads what ever he wants, now he's
totally into book making and cartoons but I have to write the words.
Yesterday he shot a lego mini movie with our digital camera and dad's
burning it on CD today. I am just having a hard time letting go of school
because I know he's super bright and could pick up on Math quickly and excel
way beyond his years. (If you want to send me positive, he'll do that in
his own time, I'd love to hear it!)>>>
OK - he *will* do it in his own time. He will also do it in his *own way*.
It is true that some Unschooling kids like worksheets. However my
recollection of the many informal anecdotes shared by people over time on
line is that these kids are probably the minority. See
www.sandradodd.com/math for some great stories. Somewhere on her site there
used to be a story of her daughter, Holly, using a math worksheet in an
unconventional and surprising way that nonetheless showed she understood the
concepts. Your son may never find worksheets helpful or use them in the
standard schoolish drill way. We keep the odd workbook that has been sent by
Nan in the pile with our coloring books. OTOH if allowed to discover them
for himself, he may find them a terrific resource for his personal
explorations and understanding.
Please, if you can, stop separating math (or any other "subject") from life
by making it a schoolish activity. If your son is doing things with lego,
then he is already engaging in "pre-math" skills building activites like
sorting, planning and engineering. He is already noticing and using relative
sizes and lengths. He is seeing spatial relationships. And that is outside
of using the digital camera and the storytelling part.
There is this cultural myth thingie that "homeschoolers make cookies to
teach math". I don't know what other people do. But here in my house, as
Unschoolers, we make cookies to make cookies, and if necessary we use math
to help us make more cookies. Doing activities in order to learn specific
schoolish stuff is backwards prioritizing. We learn or practice skills in
order to facilitate the fun activities.
One of the great things about Unschooling is that it frees us from having to
compare our children to any other children, any other group of children, or
any arbitrary scale or bell curve of either mediocrity *or* excellence. We
are freed to be filled with joyful wonderment at the sparkling individuality
and personal uniqueness of our children, as they find extraordinary and
delightful ways of discovering knowledge.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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handwriting. I never force him however, just a, "Hey want to do math now?"
if he no's then we don't do it. He reads what ever he wants, now he's
totally into book making and cartoons but I have to write the words.
Yesterday he shot a lego mini movie with our digital camera and dad's
burning it on CD today. I am just having a hard time letting go of school
because I know he's super bright and could pick up on Math quickly and excel
way beyond his years. (If you want to send me positive, he'll do that in
his own time, I'd love to hear it!)>>>
OK - he *will* do it in his own time. He will also do it in his *own way*.
It is true that some Unschooling kids like worksheets. However my
recollection of the many informal anecdotes shared by people over time on
line is that these kids are probably the minority. See
www.sandradodd.com/math for some great stories. Somewhere on her site there
used to be a story of her daughter, Holly, using a math worksheet in an
unconventional and surprising way that nonetheless showed she understood the
concepts. Your son may never find worksheets helpful or use them in the
standard schoolish drill way. We keep the odd workbook that has been sent by
Nan in the pile with our coloring books. OTOH if allowed to discover them
for himself, he may find them a terrific resource for his personal
explorations and understanding.
Please, if you can, stop separating math (or any other "subject") from life
by making it a schoolish activity. If your son is doing things with lego,
then he is already engaging in "pre-math" skills building activites like
sorting, planning and engineering. He is already noticing and using relative
sizes and lengths. He is seeing spatial relationships. And that is outside
of using the digital camera and the storytelling part.
There is this cultural myth thingie that "homeschoolers make cookies to
teach math". I don't know what other people do. But here in my house, as
Unschoolers, we make cookies to make cookies, and if necessary we use math
to help us make more cookies. Doing activities in order to learn specific
schoolish stuff is backwards prioritizing. We learn or practice skills in
order to facilitate the fun activities.
One of the great things about Unschooling is that it frees us from having to
compare our children to any other children, any other group of children, or
any arbitrary scale or bell curve of either mediocrity *or* excellence. We
are freed to be filled with joyful wonderment at the sparkling individuality
and personal uniqueness of our children, as they find extraordinary and
delightful ways of discovering knowledge.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.752 / Virus Database: 503 - Release Date: 9/3/2004
mamaaj2000
Robyn, that is an excellent definition of unschooling.
LOL, it's my new motto: "I'm just here to make cookies!" as opposed
to sneaking in math lessons.
--aj, who may need to set up something to receive a weekly
message: "Just make the damn cookies!"
--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@c...> wrote:
LOL, it's my new motto: "I'm just here to make cookies!" as opposed
to sneaking in math lessons.
--aj, who may need to set up something to receive a weekly
message: "Just make the damn cookies!"
--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@c...> wrote:
> There is this cultural myth thingie that "homeschoolers makecookies to
> teach math". I don't know what other people do. But here in myhouse, as
> Unschoolers, we make cookies to make cookies, and if necessary weuse math
> to help us make more cookies. Doing activities in order to learnspecific
> schoolish stuff is backwards prioritizing. We learn or practiceskills in
> order to facilitate the fun activities.
maggielou007
Thank you for allowing me to join your group. I have four children. My
two oldest are in public school. I left that choice up to them. I am
not happy about them attending.My problem is with my 3rd child. He
just turned 5 and in no way ready for kindergarden. I let him go to
preschool. He hated it and didn't end up going the rest of the year.
Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times a week. I
just don't see this happening.He learns at his own pace. Not even his
teachers at school could get him to do what was expected of him. He
does everything on his time.Which I don't have a problen with that.
His teachers seemed to think he should be able to sit at a table and
color leaves on a tree, or he has to learn how to write his full
name.First middle and last. He has four names and first name is
Christian which is long enough with out adding any more names to
it.This is when he was four. He has such a creative personality, that
I'm afraid of the other children. Will take that out of him.He loves
to act and sing. He plays ice hockey, tee-ball,golf. Anything he can
be in the spot light. He plays cowboys while the other child in his
school play on their video games. I started looking into the
unschooling, but I don't know anyone around my area to ask for
advise.I am so afraid of making a bad chioce for him. I want him to
stay his own person. Does anyone have any advise for me? Thank you for
all of your time. Jen
two oldest are in public school. I left that choice up to them. I am
not happy about them attending.My problem is with my 3rd child. He
just turned 5 and in no way ready for kindergarden. I let him go to
preschool. He hated it and didn't end up going the rest of the year.
Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times a week. I
just don't see this happening.He learns at his own pace. Not even his
teachers at school could get him to do what was expected of him. He
does everything on his time.Which I don't have a problen with that.
His teachers seemed to think he should be able to sit at a table and
color leaves on a tree, or he has to learn how to write his full
name.First middle and last. He has four names and first name is
Christian which is long enough with out adding any more names to
it.This is when he was four. He has such a creative personality, that
I'm afraid of the other children. Will take that out of him.He loves
to act and sing. He plays ice hockey, tee-ball,golf. Anything he can
be in the spot light. He plays cowboys while the other child in his
school play on their video games. I started looking into the
unschooling, but I don't know anyone around my area to ask for
advise.I am so afraid of making a bad chioce for him. I want him to
stay his own person. Does anyone have any advise for me? Thank you for
all of your time. Jen
Kristie Cochran
Hi Jen,
You need to either tell us what state you're in or check your department
of education's website to see if you can opt your son out of
kindergarten. In my state, Virginia, you can send a letter to your
school district super and tell them that your child isn't ready for
kindergarten, OR you can send them a notice of intent to homeschool.
You can google your state and homeschool to find homeschool associations
in your state. You can also check here:
http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1 (it's a Christian association,
but you can find links to your state there).
Your son sounds a lot like mine. He hated preschool, so after his
second year of it (I started him at 3), I took him out and he's been
much happier, and so have we.
Kristie
maggielou007 wrote:
You need to either tell us what state you're in or check your department
of education's website to see if you can opt your son out of
kindergarten. In my state, Virginia, you can send a letter to your
school district super and tell them that your child isn't ready for
kindergarten, OR you can send them a notice of intent to homeschool.
You can google your state and homeschool to find homeschool associations
in your state. You can also check here:
http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1 (it's a Christian association,
but you can find links to your state there).
Your son sounds a lot like mine. He hated preschool, so after his
second year of it (I started him at 3), I took him out and he's been
much happier, and so have we.
Kristie
maggielou007 wrote:
>
> Thank you for allowing me to join your group. I have four children. My
> two oldest are in public school. I left that choice up to them. I am
> not happy about them attending.My problem is with my 3rd child. He
> just turned 5 and in no way ready for kindergarden. I let him go to
> preschool. He hated it and didn't end up going the rest of the year.
> Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times a week. I
> just don't see this happening.He learns at his own pace. Not even his
> teachers at school could get him to do what was expected of him. He
> does everything on his time.Which I don't have a problen with that.
> His teachers seemed to think he should be able to sit at a table and
> color leaves on a tree, or he has to learn how to write his full
> name.First middle and last. He has four names and first name is
> Christian which is long enough with out adding any more names to
> it.This is when he was four. He has such a creative personality, that
> I'm afraid of the other children. Will take that out of him.He loves
> to act and sing. He plays ice hockey, tee-ball,golf. Anything he can
> be in the spot light. He plays cowboys while the other child in his
> school play on their video games. I started looking into the
> unschooling, but I don't know anyone around my area to ask for
> advise.I am so afraid of making a bad chioce for him. I want him to
> stay his own person. Does anyone have any advise for me? Thank you for
> all of your time. Jen
>
>
WitchyMama
Hey! Don't knock video games! They can be very valuable. =)
Welcome to the group! =)
Welcome to the group! =)
On 6/27/06, maggielou007 <maggielou007@...> wrote:
>
> Thank you for allowing me to join your group. I have four children. My
> two oldest are in public school. I left that choice up to them. I am
> not happy about them attending.My problem is with my 3rd child. He
> just turned 5 and in no way ready for kindergarden. I let him go to
> preschool. He hated it and didn't end up going the rest of the year.
> Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times a week. I
> just don't see this happening.He learns at his own pace. Not even his
> teachers at school could get him to do what was expected of him. He
> does everything on his time.Which I don't have a problen with that.
> His teachers seemed to think he should be able to sit at a table and
> color leaves on a tree, or he has to learn how to write his full
> name.First middle and last. He has four names and first name is
> Christian which is long enough with out adding any more names to
> it.This is when he was four. He has such a creative personality, that
> I'm afraid of the other children. Will take that out of him.He loves
> to act and sing. He plays ice hockey, tee-ball,golf. Anything he can
> be in the spot light. He plays cowboys while the other child in his
> school play on their video games. I started looking into the
> unschooling, but I don't know anyone around my area to ask for
> advise.I am so afraid of making a bad chioce for him. I want him to
> stay his own person. Does anyone have any advise for me? Thank you for
> all of your time. Jen
>
>
>
--
)0( Anastasia )0(
*Mom to 3 beautiful girls*
Sierra (6/12/98)
Ivy (7/30/03)
& Piper (1/12/06)
There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million
keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would
be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jlh44music
"maggielou007" <maggielou007@...> wrote:
You can check at nhen.org to find out what your state requires. We're
in MA and K is optional (mandatory schooling is from age 6-16). If
you post what state you're in maybe some people here can give you some
specific guidance.
of this group for recommendations) about unschooling. It's the
perfect way of life if you want this for your son!
Jann
> Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times a week. Ijust don't see this happening.>
You can check at nhen.org to find out what your state requires. We're
in MA and K is optional (mandatory schooling is from age 6-16). If
you post what state you're in maybe some people here can give you some
specific guidance.
>I want him to stay his own person.>Read as much as you can here and other places (check the links section
of this group for recommendations) about unschooling. It's the
perfect way of life if you want this for your son!
Jann
Jennifer Dion
Kristie
We live in Michigan.If kindergarden was a half day. I wouldn't be so upset,but its all day long. That is bull I don't have the choice of half days or full days. What some think of free daycare I think of it as a nightmare.Thank you for your help.
Jenny
Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...> wrote: Hi Jen,
You need to either tell us what state you're in or check your department
of education's website to see if you can opt your son out of
kindergarten. In my state, Virginia, you can send a letter to your
school district super and tell them that your child isn't ready for
kindergarten, OR you can send them a notice of intent to homeschool.
You can google your state and homeschool to find homeschool associations
in your state. You can also check here:
http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1 (it's a Christian association,
but you can find links to your state there).
Your son sounds a lot like mine. He hated preschool, so after his
second year of it (I started him at 3), I took him out and he's been
much happier, and so have we.
Kristie
maggielou007 wrote:
Yahoo! Groups gets better. Check out the new email design. Plus theres much more to come.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We live in Michigan.If kindergarden was a half day. I wouldn't be so upset,but its all day long. That is bull I don't have the choice of half days or full days. What some think of free daycare I think of it as a nightmare.Thank you for your help.
Jenny
Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...> wrote: Hi Jen,
You need to either tell us what state you're in or check your department
of education's website to see if you can opt your son out of
kindergarten. In my state, Virginia, you can send a letter to your
school district super and tell them that your child isn't ready for
kindergarten, OR you can send them a notice of intent to homeschool.
You can google your state and homeschool to find homeschool associations
in your state. You can also check here:
http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1 (it's a Christian association,
but you can find links to your state there).
Your son sounds a lot like mine. He hated preschool, so after his
second year of it (I started him at 3), I took him out and he's been
much happier, and so have we.
Kristie
maggielou007 wrote:
>---------------------------------
> Thank you for allowing me to join your group. I have four children. My
> two oldest are in public school. I left that choice up to them. I am
> not happy about them attending.My problem is with my 3rd child. He
> just turned 5 and in no way ready for kindergarden. I let him go to
> preschool. He hated it and didn't end up going the rest of the year.
> Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times a week. I
> just don't see this happening.He learns at his own pace. Not even his
> teachers at school could get him to do what was expected of him. He
> does everything on his time.Which I don't have a problen with that.
> His teachers seemed to think he should be able to sit at a table and
> color leaves on a tree, or he has to learn how to write his full
> name.First middle and last. He has four names and first name is
> Christian which is long enough with out adding any more names to
> it.This is when he was four. He has such a creative personality, that
> I'm afraid of the other children. Will take that out of him.He loves
> to act and sing. He plays ice hockey, tee-ball,golf. Anything he can
> be in the spot light. He plays cowboys while the other child in his
> school play on their video games. I started looking into the
> unschooling, but I don't know anyone around my area to ask for
> advise.I am so afraid of making a bad chioce for him. I want him to
> stay his own person. Does anyone have any advise for me? Thank you for
> all of your time. Jen
>
>
Yahoo! Groups gets better. Check out the new email design. Plus theres much more to come.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jennifer Dion
Jann
I am from Michigan. The guidelines for our state is minimum.We have a lot of freedom here, with homeschooling.Which I am grateful. Can you recommend any reading material on the unschooling. I am sorry to say I just found out about this a few months ago. Traditional homeschooling is pretty big around here. I am interested in more of the unschooling. Thank you for time.
Jenny
jlh44music <jlh44music@...> wrote: "maggielou007" <maggielou007@...> wrote:
You can check at nhen.org to find out what your state requires. We're
in MA and K is optional (mandatory schooling is from age 6-16). If
you post what state you're in maybe some people here can give you some
specific guidance.
of this group for recommendations) about unschooling. It's the
perfect way of life if you want this for your son!
Jann
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs.Try it free.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I am from Michigan. The guidelines for our state is minimum.We have a lot of freedom here, with homeschooling.Which I am grateful. Can you recommend any reading material on the unschooling. I am sorry to say I just found out about this a few months ago. Traditional homeschooling is pretty big around here. I am interested in more of the unschooling. Thank you for time.
Jenny
jlh44music <jlh44music@...> wrote: "maggielou007" <maggielou007@...> wrote:
> Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times a week. Ijust don't see this happening.>
You can check at nhen.org to find out what your state requires. We're
in MA and K is optional (mandatory schooling is from age 6-16). If
you post what state you're in maybe some people here can give you some
specific guidance.
>I want him to stay his own person.>Read as much as you can here and other places (check the links section
of this group for recommendations) about unschooling. It's the
perfect way of life if you want this for your son!
Jann
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs.Try it free.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
April Morris
Come check us out in Michigan!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
--
~April
Mom to Kate-19, Lisa-17, Karl-15, & Ben-10.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.reachhomeschool.com
* Michigan Unschoolers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art www.artkunst23.com
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf the Grey
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
--
~April
Mom to Kate-19, Lisa-17, Karl-15, & Ben-10.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.reachhomeschool.com
* Michigan Unschoolers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art www.artkunst23.com
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf the Grey
On 6/27/06, Jennifer Dion <maggielou007@...> wrote:
>
> Jann
> I am from Michigan. The guidelines for our state is minimum.We have a lot
> of freedom here, with homeschooling.Which I am grateful. Can you recommend
> any reading material on the unschooling. I am sorry to say I just found out
> about this a few months ago. Traditional homeschooling is pretty big around
> here. I am interested in more of the unschooling. Thank you for time.
> Jenny
>
> jlh44music <jlh44music@... <jlh44music%40yahoo.com>> wrote:
> "maggielou007" <maggielou007@...> wrote:
>
> > Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times a week. I
> just don't see this happening.>
>
> You can check at nhen.org to find out what your state requires. We're
> in MA and K is optional (mandatory schooling is from age 6-16). If
> you post what state you're in maybe some people here can give you some
> specific guidance.
>
> >I want him to stay his own person.>
>
> Read as much as you can here and other places (check the links section
> of this group for recommendations) about unschooling. It's the
> perfect way of life if you want this for your son!
> Jann
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs.Try it free.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kristie Cochran
Hi Jenny,
From what little I've read, compulsory attendance starts at age 6, so
you don't *have* to send him at all right now. Also, it seems to me
that you also don't have to send him to school, nor do you have to
notify the school district that you will be homeschooling (from what
I've read at the hslda website), nor do you have to test, etc. It seems
it's up to the school district to prove that you're not teaching your
kids at home. So, I'd take him out of K and not give it another
thought. Boy, I wish VA's laws were that simple.
I understand how you feel about K being all day. In my city, K is all
day long too, but they do give the kids a nap. In our neighboring city,
it's only 3hrs (I think because they have too many kids and it's the
only way they can get them all into the K program).
I know that someone just sent you the link to the Michigan Unschoolers.
Some other good websites about unschooling are the following:
Sandra Dodd's Radical Unschooling page:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling.html
Joyce Fetteroll's Joyfully Rejoycing page:
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/unschooling/unschoolingphilosophy.html
Hope this helps some!
Kristie, in VA
Jennifer Dion wrote:
From what little I've read, compulsory attendance starts at age 6, so
you don't *have* to send him at all right now. Also, it seems to me
that you also don't have to send him to school, nor do you have to
notify the school district that you will be homeschooling (from what
I've read at the hslda website), nor do you have to test, etc. It seems
it's up to the school district to prove that you're not teaching your
kids at home. So, I'd take him out of K and not give it another
thought. Boy, I wish VA's laws were that simple.
I understand how you feel about K being all day. In my city, K is all
day long too, but they do give the kids a nap. In our neighboring city,
it's only 3hrs (I think because they have too many kids and it's the
only way they can get them all into the K program).
I know that someone just sent you the link to the Michigan Unschoolers.
Some other good websites about unschooling are the following:
Sandra Dodd's Radical Unschooling page:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling.html
Joyce Fetteroll's Joyfully Rejoycing page:
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/unschooling/unschoolingphilosophy.html
Hope this helps some!
Kristie, in VA
Jennifer Dion wrote:
>
> Kristie
> We live in Michigan.If kindergarden was a half day. I wouldn't be so
> upset,but its all day long. That is bull I don't have the choice of
> half days or full days. What some think of free daycare I think of it
> as a nightmare.Thank you for your help.
> Jenny
>
> .
>
>
jlh44music
<maggielou007@...> wrote:
Can you recommend any reading material on the unschooling. I am
sorry to say I just found out about this a few months ago.
Traditional homeschooling is pretty big around here. I am
interested in more of the unschooling.>>
Hi Jenny,
Check out the links on this site at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/links
If Michigan has a lot of freedom with homeschooling, I'm curious why
you wrote "Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times
a week." ? (sounds like he doesn't HAVE to go at all, or is it
just that YOU feel he HAS to but you're also looking for
alternatives?). Not trying to be pushy, just want to be sure I
understand what you meant 8-)
I had never heard of unschooling until I started researching
homeschooling about 3 years ago! It's never too late. Give it
time. Read as much as you can. Keep an open mind. It's a real
paradigm shift! This is the first year my dd (13) has been out of
school, she's still deschooling and healing, but we're all much
happier for it!
Jann
> I am from Michigan. The guidelines for our state is minimum.Wehave a lot of freedom here, with homeschooling.Which I am grateful.
Can you recommend any reading material on the unschooling. I am
sorry to say I just found out about this a few months ago.
Traditional homeschooling is pretty big around here. I am
interested in more of the unschooling.>>
Hi Jenny,
Check out the links on this site at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/links
If Michigan has a lot of freedom with homeschooling, I'm curious why
you wrote "Now he is has to go to a all day kindergarden, four times
a week." ? (sounds like he doesn't HAVE to go at all, or is it
just that YOU feel he HAS to but you're also looking for
alternatives?). Not trying to be pushy, just want to be sure I
understand what you meant 8-)
I had never heard of unschooling until I started researching
homeschooling about 3 years ago! It's never too late. Give it
time. Read as much as you can. Keep an open mind. It's a real
paradigm shift! This is the first year my dd (13) has been out of
school, she's still deschooling and healing, but we're all much
happier for it!
Jann
Jennifer Dion
Kristie
You have been most helpful. Thank you for all your time. Michigan is a great state to home school.They allow a lot of freedom. Leaving decisions up to the parent's. My issue I have is if you put your kids in public school, you have to deal with the all day kindergarten. In my school district the K is all day no other choices. I could drive my kids a half an hour away to a school with half days.I just don't think its worth it. I am trying to find other options. I have never home schooled any of my children, so its very nerve racking. So many choices, with the direction to take your children.
Jenny
Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...> wrote: Hi Jenny,
From what little I've read, compulsory attendance starts at age 6, so
you don't *have* to send him at all right now. Also, it seems to me
that you also don't have to send him to school, nor do you have to
notify the school district that you will be homeschooling (from what
I've read at the hslda website), nor do you have to test, etc. It seems
it's up to the school district to prove that you're not teaching your
kids at home. So, I'd take him out of K and not give it another
thought. Boy, I wish VA's laws were that simple.
I understand how you feel about K being all day. In my city, K is all
day long too, but they do give the kids a nap. In our neighboring city,
it's only 3hrs (I think because they have too many kids and it's the
only way they can get them all into the K program).
I know that someone just sent you the link to the Michigan Unschoolers.
Some other good websites about unschooling are the following:
Sandra Dodd's Radical Unschooling page:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling.html
Joyce Fetteroll's Joyfully Rejoycing page:
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/unschooling/unschoolingphilosophy.html
Hope this helps some!
Kristie, in VA
Jennifer Dion wrote:
Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You have been most helpful. Thank you for all your time. Michigan is a great state to home school.They allow a lot of freedom. Leaving decisions up to the parent's. My issue I have is if you put your kids in public school, you have to deal with the all day kindergarten. In my school district the K is all day no other choices. I could drive my kids a half an hour away to a school with half days.I just don't think its worth it. I am trying to find other options. I have never home schooled any of my children, so its very nerve racking. So many choices, with the direction to take your children.
Jenny
Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...> wrote: Hi Jenny,
From what little I've read, compulsory attendance starts at age 6, so
you don't *have* to send him at all right now. Also, it seems to me
that you also don't have to send him to school, nor do you have to
notify the school district that you will be homeschooling (from what
I've read at the hslda website), nor do you have to test, etc. It seems
it's up to the school district to prove that you're not teaching your
kids at home. So, I'd take him out of K and not give it another
thought. Boy, I wish VA's laws were that simple.
I understand how you feel about K being all day. In my city, K is all
day long too, but they do give the kids a nap. In our neighboring city,
it's only 3hrs (I think because they have too many kids and it's the
only way they can get them all into the K program).
I know that someone just sent you the link to the Michigan Unschoolers.
Some other good websites about unschooling are the following:
Sandra Dodd's Radical Unschooling page:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling.html
Joyce Fetteroll's Joyfully Rejoycing page:
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/unschooling/unschoolingphilosophy.html
Hope this helps some!
Kristie, in VA
Jennifer Dion wrote:
>---------------------------------
> Kristie
> We live in Michigan.If kindergarden was a half day. I wouldn't be so
> upset,but its all day long. That is bull I don't have the choice of
> half days or full days. What some think of free daycare I think of it
> as a nightmare.Thank you for your help.
> Jenny
>
> .
>
>
Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kristie Cochran
Jenny, you still don't have to send your 5yo to K. He doesn't *have* to
attend school until he's 6, if you choose to send him to school. Since
you've never homeschooled (and neither have I), unschooling will be
terrific for you and your kids. You don't have to worry about
"teaching," you won't use a packaged curriculum, you'll just let your
kids learn what they need to learn when the need it, kind of like how
all of your kids learned to roll over, crawl, walk and talk. They
learned it all on their own. You didn't have to teach them how to do
those things. We're hard-wired for learning, so keep your kids at home
and let them learn. You'll all have fun together.
I'm so thankful that I had a homeschooling friend come over to talk to
me about homeschooling. When I told her about the problems I was having
with Jared in preschool (didn't want to sit at a table and do
worksheets), and she saw his activity level, she suggested unschooling
to me. I started researching and reading and decided that unschooling
fit our lifestyle already. We were already unschooling, we just didn't
know it. I always knew in the back of my mind that I'd homeschool. I
worked for a company that sold Sing, Spell, Read and Write to public
schools and homeschoolers, so I've known about homeschooling for more
than 10yrs.
I also love how positive unschooling is. How we're always reminded to
find joy in what we're doing. It has certainly helped me to get rid of
some things in my life that weren't bringing me joy, things that I was
just hanging on to. I still have a ways to go, but I'm really enjoying
the whole process. Read the websites that I sent to you, join your
Michigan Unschoolers list and keep reading here.
Kristie
Jennifer Dion wrote:
attend school until he's 6, if you choose to send him to school. Since
you've never homeschooled (and neither have I), unschooling will be
terrific for you and your kids. You don't have to worry about
"teaching," you won't use a packaged curriculum, you'll just let your
kids learn what they need to learn when the need it, kind of like how
all of your kids learned to roll over, crawl, walk and talk. They
learned it all on their own. You didn't have to teach them how to do
those things. We're hard-wired for learning, so keep your kids at home
and let them learn. You'll all have fun together.
I'm so thankful that I had a homeschooling friend come over to talk to
me about homeschooling. When I told her about the problems I was having
with Jared in preschool (didn't want to sit at a table and do
worksheets), and she saw his activity level, she suggested unschooling
to me. I started researching and reading and decided that unschooling
fit our lifestyle already. We were already unschooling, we just didn't
know it. I always knew in the back of my mind that I'd homeschool. I
worked for a company that sold Sing, Spell, Read and Write to public
schools and homeschoolers, so I've known about homeschooling for more
than 10yrs.
I also love how positive unschooling is. How we're always reminded to
find joy in what we're doing. It has certainly helped me to get rid of
some things in my life that weren't bringing me joy, things that I was
just hanging on to. I still have a ways to go, but I'm really enjoying
the whole process. Read the websites that I sent to you, join your
Michigan Unschoolers list and keep reading here.
Kristie
Jennifer Dion wrote:
>
> Kristie
> You have been most helpful. Thank you for all your time. Michigan is a
> great state to home school.They allow a lot of freedom. Leaving
> decisions up to the parent's. My issue I have is if you put your kids
> in public school, you have to deal with the all day kindergarten. In
> my school district the K is all day no other choices. I could drive my
> kids a half an hour away to a school with half days.I just don't think
> its worth it. I am trying to find other options. I have never home
> schooled any of my children, so its very nerve racking. So many
> choices, with the direction to take your children.
> Jenny
>
Tina
<I am from Michigan.>
Hi, Jenny! I live in Michigan, too. It's got to be one of the
easiest places to be an unschooler.
<Can you recommend any reading material on the unschooling.>
Have you read "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School
and Get a Real Life and Education"? I think it's a great read no
matter the age of your children.
What about "The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School"? I
especially enjoyed the birds-eye-view of an always unschooled
child's life.
When I first started to learn about unschooling I really
enjoyed "The Unschooling Handbook: How to Use the Whole World as
Your Child's lassroom". It gives you tons of ideas.
Another one I liked in the beginning was "Homeschooling our
Children, Unschooling Ourselves".
Here's a like to Amazon.com where I just typed in Unschooling to see
what came up: http://www.amazon.com/gp/search.html/ref=br_ss_hs/102-
7578059-6397722?platform=gurupa&url=index%
3Dblended&keywords=unschooling
Also, what about reading the blogs of fellow unschoolers? I really
enjoy that, and it is often therepeutic to see inside the lives of
like-minded people.
Enjoy the journey!
Tina
Hi, Jenny! I live in Michigan, too. It's got to be one of the
easiest places to be an unschooler.
<Can you recommend any reading material on the unschooling.>
Have you read "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School
and Get a Real Life and Education"? I think it's a great read no
matter the age of your children.
What about "The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School"? I
especially enjoyed the birds-eye-view of an always unschooled
child's life.
When I first started to learn about unschooling I really
enjoyed "The Unschooling Handbook: How to Use the Whole World as
Your Child's lassroom". It gives you tons of ideas.
Another one I liked in the beginning was "Homeschooling our
Children, Unschooling Ourselves".
Here's a like to Amazon.com where I just typed in Unschooling to see
what came up: http://www.amazon.com/gp/search.html/ref=br_ss_hs/102-
7578059-6397722?platform=gurupa&url=index%
3Dblended&keywords=unschooling
Also, what about reading the blogs of fellow unschoolers? I really
enjoy that, and it is often therepeutic to see inside the lives of
like-minded people.
Enjoy the journey!
Tina
Jennifer Dion
Kristie
The teachers at his school are the ones that are making me freak out. They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not me.The primary is a class between K and first. All the teachers have pretty much said he would have to go to primary. I know I am the parent but I guess I just have to gain the confidence and believe in myself . I am just so afraid I will make a bad choice for him.Call me crazy.
Jen
Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...> wrote: Jenny, you still don't have to send your 5yo to K. He doesn't *have* to
attend school until he's 6, if you choose to send him to school. Since
you've never homeschooled (and neither have I), unschooling will be
terrific for you and your kids. You don't have to worry about
"teaching," you won't use a packaged curriculum, you'll just let your
kids learn what they need to learn when the need it, kind of like how
all of your kids learned to roll over, crawl, walk and talk. They
learned it all on their own. You didn't have to teach them how to do
those things. We're hard-wired for learning, so keep your kids at home
and let them learn. You'll all have fun together.
I'm so thankful that I had a homeschooling friend come over to talk to
me about homeschooling. When I told her about the problems I was having
with Jared in preschool (didn't want to sit at a table and do
worksheets), and she saw his activity level, she suggested unschooling
to me. I started researching and reading and decided that unschooling
fit our lifestyle already. We were already unschooling, we just didn't
know it. I always knew in the back of my mind that I'd homeschool. I
worked for a company that sold Sing, Spell, Read and Write to public
schools and homeschoolers, so I've known about homeschooling for more
than 10yrs.
I also love how positive unschooling is. How we're always reminded to
find joy in what we're doing. It has certainly helped me to get rid of
some things in my life that weren't bringing me joy, things that I was
just hanging on to. I still have a ways to go, but I'm really enjoying
the whole process. Read the websites that I sent to you, join your
Michigan Unschoolers list and keep reading here.
Kristie
Jennifer Dion wrote:
Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The teachers at his school are the ones that are making me freak out. They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not me.The primary is a class between K and first. All the teachers have pretty much said he would have to go to primary. I know I am the parent but I guess I just have to gain the confidence and believe in myself . I am just so afraid I will make a bad choice for him.Call me crazy.
Jen
Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...> wrote: Jenny, you still don't have to send your 5yo to K. He doesn't *have* to
attend school until he's 6, if you choose to send him to school. Since
you've never homeschooled (and neither have I), unschooling will be
terrific for you and your kids. You don't have to worry about
"teaching," you won't use a packaged curriculum, you'll just let your
kids learn what they need to learn when the need it, kind of like how
all of your kids learned to roll over, crawl, walk and talk. They
learned it all on their own. You didn't have to teach them how to do
those things. We're hard-wired for learning, so keep your kids at home
and let them learn. You'll all have fun together.
I'm so thankful that I had a homeschooling friend come over to talk to
me about homeschooling. When I told her about the problems I was having
with Jared in preschool (didn't want to sit at a table and do
worksheets), and she saw his activity level, she suggested unschooling
to me. I started researching and reading and decided that unschooling
fit our lifestyle already. We were already unschooling, we just didn't
know it. I always knew in the back of my mind that I'd homeschool. I
worked for a company that sold Sing, Spell, Read and Write to public
schools and homeschoolers, so I've known about homeschooling for more
than 10yrs.
I also love how positive unschooling is. How we're always reminded to
find joy in what we're doing. It has certainly helped me to get rid of
some things in my life that weren't bringing me joy, things that I was
just hanging on to. I still have a ways to go, but I'm really enjoying
the whole process. Read the websites that I sent to you, join your
Michigan Unschoolers list and keep reading here.
Kristie
Jennifer Dion wrote:
>---------------------------------
> Kristie
> You have been most helpful. Thank you for all your time. Michigan is a
> great state to home school.They allow a lot of freedom. Leaving
> decisions up to the parent's. My issue I have is if you put your kids
> in public school, you have to deal with the all day kindergarten. In
> my school district the K is all day no other choices. I could drive my
> kids a half an hour away to a school with half days.I just don't think
> its worth it. I am trying to find other options. I have never home
> schooled any of my children, so its very nerve racking. So many
> choices, with the direction to take your children.
> Jenny
>
Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jennifer Dion
Tina
Thank you for your time. I will check out that site. Nice to know that some people are in my corner.Take care
Jen
Tina <zoocrew@...> wrote: <I am from Michigan.>
Hi, Jenny! I live in Michigan, too. It's got to be one of the
easiest places to be an unschooler.
<Can you recommend any reading material on the unschooling.>
Have you read "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School
and Get a Real Life and Education"? I think it's a great read no
matter the age of your children.
What about "The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School"? I
especially enjoyed the birds-eye-view of an always unschooled
child's life.
When I first started to learn about unschooling I really
enjoyed "The Unschooling Handbook: How to Use the Whole World as
Your Child's lassroom". It gives you tons of ideas.
Another one I liked in the beginning was "Homeschooling our
Children, Unschooling Ourselves".
Here's a like to Amazon.com where I just typed in Unschooling to see
what came up: http://www.amazon.com/gp/search.html/ref=br_ss_hs/102-
7578059-6397722?platform=gurupa&url=index%
3Dblended&keywords=unschooling
Also, what about reading the blogs of fellow unschoolers? I really
enjoy that, and it is often therepeutic to see inside the lives of
like-minded people.
Enjoy the journey!
Tina
---------------------------------
How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messengers low PC-to-Phone call rates.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thank you for your time. I will check out that site. Nice to know that some people are in my corner.Take care
Jen
Tina <zoocrew@...> wrote: <I am from Michigan.>
Hi, Jenny! I live in Michigan, too. It's got to be one of the
easiest places to be an unschooler.
<Can you recommend any reading material on the unschooling.>
Have you read "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School
and Get a Real Life and Education"? I think it's a great read no
matter the age of your children.
What about "The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School"? I
especially enjoyed the birds-eye-view of an always unschooled
child's life.
When I first started to learn about unschooling I really
enjoyed "The Unschooling Handbook: How to Use the Whole World as
Your Child's lassroom". It gives you tons of ideas.
Another one I liked in the beginning was "Homeschooling our
Children, Unschooling Ourselves".
Here's a like to Amazon.com where I just typed in Unschooling to see
what came up: http://www.amazon.com/gp/search.html/ref=br_ss_hs/102-
7578059-6397722?platform=gurupa&url=index%
3Dblended&keywords=unschooling
Also, what about reading the blogs of fellow unschoolers? I really
enjoy that, and it is often therepeutic to see inside the lives of
like-minded people.
Enjoy the journey!
Tina
---------------------------------
How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messengers low PC-to-Phone call rates.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kristie Cochran
Okay, you're crazy ~ lol. Actually, YOU know your son much better than
those teachers. There is no pressure here. Let him take a year off
from school, what's the worst that can happen? From the reading I've
done on boys, they need to be active, they need to be physical, they
need the freedom to run around and do things. He certainly won't be
allowed to do any of that in school. Jared hated going to preschool. I
had to fight with him every morning and just about push him in the
door. That was no fun. Sure, when I picked him up 3hrs later he was
happy, but since taking him out of preschool, he hasn't asked even ONCE
to go back there. If you're afraid of making the choice for him, then
ASK him what he wants to do. Does HE want to go to school? Or does HE
want to stay at home and learn at his own pace?
Jared asked to work in a preschool workbook the other night. I was
really surprised when he went to the math section (because it had
numbers) and then when we went thru some of the exercises he could do
some simple math. I've not taught him any math, but he's picking it up
on his own. Trust yourself. Trust your son. Trust all of your kids.
I know it initially looks like a scary path to go down, but it's not.
And, there's lots of us on that path, and now we're connected in ways
that we weren't just a few years ago. The internet has connected us and
allowed us to see each other on this path. There are many, many
families ahead of us on this path, and they're here on this list to help
guide us around the bends.
Kristie
Jennifer Dion wrote:
those teachers. There is no pressure here. Let him take a year off
from school, what's the worst that can happen? From the reading I've
done on boys, they need to be active, they need to be physical, they
need the freedom to run around and do things. He certainly won't be
allowed to do any of that in school. Jared hated going to preschool. I
had to fight with him every morning and just about push him in the
door. That was no fun. Sure, when I picked him up 3hrs later he was
happy, but since taking him out of preschool, he hasn't asked even ONCE
to go back there. If you're afraid of making the choice for him, then
ASK him what he wants to do. Does HE want to go to school? Or does HE
want to stay at home and learn at his own pace?
Jared asked to work in a preschool workbook the other night. I was
really surprised when he went to the math section (because it had
numbers) and then when we went thru some of the exercises he could do
some simple math. I've not taught him any math, but he's picking it up
on his own. Trust yourself. Trust your son. Trust all of your kids.
I know it initially looks like a scary path to go down, but it's not.
And, there's lots of us on that path, and now we're connected in ways
that we weren't just a few years ago. The internet has connected us and
allowed us to see each other on this path. There are many, many
families ahead of us on this path, and they're here on this list to help
guide us around the bends.
Kristie
Jennifer Dion wrote:
>
> Kristie
> The teachers at his school are the ones that are making me freak out.
> They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year
> and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the
> following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not
> me.The primary is a class between K and first. All the teachers have
> pretty much said he would have to go to primary. I know I am the
> parent but I guess I just have to gain the confidence and believe in
> myself . I am just so afraid I will make a bad choice for him.Call me
> crazy.
> Jen
>
Ren Allen
"The teachers at his school are the ones that are making me freak out.
They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year
and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the
following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not me."
If you're going to unschool, it's time to grow a thick skin and some
confidence really FAST! It really can't work unless you're willing to
be an advocate for your child and not care what they think (or at
least pretend you don't care until the confidence grows).
They have NO right to make ANY choices for you or your child unless
you give them that right. You are the parent. You have a legal right
to homeschool and you need to let them know YOU will be making the
choices regarding his education, not them.
Nobody can put pressure on you or make you freak out. That's a choice.
Is the teacher going to have more power, or the desires of your child?
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year
and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the
following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not me."
If you're going to unschool, it's time to grow a thick skin and some
confidence really FAST! It really can't work unless you're willing to
be an advocate for your child and not care what they think (or at
least pretend you don't care until the confidence grows).
They have NO right to make ANY choices for you or your child unless
you give them that right. You are the parent. You have a legal right
to homeschool and you need to let them know YOU will be making the
choices regarding his education, not them.
Nobody can put pressure on you or make you freak out. That's a choice.
Is the teacher going to have more power, or the desires of your child?
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...>
"The teachers at his school are the ones that are making me freak
out.
They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year
and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the
following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not me."
If you're going to unschool, it's time to grow a thick skin and some
confidence really FAST! It really can't work unless you're willing to
be an advocate for your child and not care what they think (or at
least pretend you don't care until the confidence grows).
They have NO right to make ANY choices for you or your child unless
you give them that right. You are the parent. You have a legal right
to homeschool and you need to let them know YOU will be making the
choices regarding his education, not them.
Nobody can put pressure on you or make you freak out. That's a choice.
Is the teacher going to have more power, or the desires of your child?
-=-=-=-
This is all true even if your child is in school
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
School's goal is to prepare them to be anything they want. But the
process is so dullifying and kids haven't explored the possibilities
of what they could be that many set their sites as low as possible.
They go to college to get a job to buy stuff. ~Joyce Fetteroll
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
From: Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...>
"The teachers at his school are the ones that are making me freak
out.
They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year
and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the
following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not me."
If you're going to unschool, it's time to grow a thick skin and some
confidence really FAST! It really can't work unless you're willing to
be an advocate for your child and not care what they think (or at
least pretend you don't care until the confidence grows).
They have NO right to make ANY choices for you or your child unless
you give them that right. You are the parent. You have a legal right
to homeschool and you need to let them know YOU will be making the
choices regarding his education, not them.
Nobody can put pressure on you or make you freak out. That's a choice.
Is the teacher going to have more power, or the desires of your child?
-=-=-=-
This is all true even if your child is in school
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
School's goal is to prepare them to be anything they want. But the
process is so dullifying and kids haven't explored the possibilities
of what they could be that many set their sites as low as possible.
They go to college to get a job to buy stuff. ~Joyce Fetteroll
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
Jennifer Dion
Ren
Yes I know, I do not more confidence when it comes to standing up to his teachers. I have spent the last 15 years with my husbands family.Spending so much time with this family has made me almost lose who I am. Well that has all changed. We have broke away from them. First of all I married into a very strong Catholic family. That is not the problem. The problem is they are very opinionated.They believe that is the Catholic is the only way. Any other religion is wrong.OK my parents were hippies which I was brought up as I can make my own decision about religion and life. My husband family wife stays home because man is the boss.My family my mom worked. I only stay home because my husband is the one with the good job. I do like staying home with the kids. My husband is the not like his family. We are a team. I just don't want my daughter to follow his family ways. Unless she wants to. I want her to make her own decision in life as a strong independent women. I am not
slamming Catholics. I am slamming his family. Oh there is so much more to it, but I think that is a whole different web site. All of that rambling for I absolutely agree with you. I just want to make the best choice for my kids. All four of them.
Jenny
Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote: "The teachers at his school are the ones that are making me freak out.
They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year
and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the
following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not me."
If you're going to unschool, it's time to grow a thick skin and some
confidence really FAST! It really can't work unless you're willing to
be an advocate for your child and not care what they think (or at
least pretend you don't care until the confidence grows).
They have NO right to make ANY choices for you or your child unless
you give them that right. You are the parent. You have a legal right
to homeschool and you need to let them know YOU will be making the
choices regarding his education, not them.
Nobody can put pressure on you or make you freak out. That's a choice.
Is the teacher going to have more power, or the desires of your child?
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yes I know, I do not more confidence when it comes to standing up to his teachers. I have spent the last 15 years with my husbands family.Spending so much time with this family has made me almost lose who I am. Well that has all changed. We have broke away from them. First of all I married into a very strong Catholic family. That is not the problem. The problem is they are very opinionated.They believe that is the Catholic is the only way. Any other religion is wrong.OK my parents were hippies which I was brought up as I can make my own decision about religion and life. My husband family wife stays home because man is the boss.My family my mom worked. I only stay home because my husband is the one with the good job. I do like staying home with the kids. My husband is the not like his family. We are a team. I just don't want my daughter to follow his family ways. Unless she wants to. I want her to make her own decision in life as a strong independent women. I am not
slamming Catholics. I am slamming his family. Oh there is so much more to it, but I think that is a whole different web site. All of that rambling for I absolutely agree with you. I just want to make the best choice for my kids. All four of them.
Jenny
Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote: "The teachers at his school are the ones that are making me freak out.
They have put so much pressure on me. They want him to go next year
and if he needs extra help he can go to the primary class the
following year. This is coming from the teachers at his school not me."
If you're going to unschool, it's time to grow a thick skin and some
confidence really FAST! It really can't work unless you're willing to
be an advocate for your child and not care what they think (or at
least pretend you don't care until the confidence grows).
They have NO right to make ANY choices for you or your child unless
you give them that right. You are the parent. You have a legal right
to homeschool and you need to let them know YOU will be making the
choices regarding his education, not them.
Nobody can put pressure on you or make you freak out. That's a choice.
Is the teacher going to have more power, or the desires of your child?
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
squishymommyof2
I don't know if this is the right forum to discuss some of these things, but here it goes. My husband and i have been married for 7 years, we have 3 wonderful kids and had decided long ago that we were going to raise our children now (and future children) in the unschooling lifestyle. In July my husband got a new job and we moved to Santa Fe. This morning he tells me #1 he wants no more children and #2 they are going to school. I am in total shock. I don't know what to do here. I tried to reason with him, but his mind is made up. That's it. I will not be happy with 3 kids, and i believe my children deserve better then to be stuck in school. I am angry and hurt and just in total disbelief about what has transpired. He then gets on my case about the house being a mess, that i should be spending half my day cleaning the house and dinner should be cooking before he gets home. 7 years, how i run things have never been a problem. Now he has this new job and everything has changed. What am i supposed to do here? It's only been 3 hours and already the resent i feel is tangible. My husband is the love of my life, but how can i live a life of resentment towards someone i am supposed to share my life with? I am so lost. I feel so alone.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karen Swanay
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@...> wrote:
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@...> wrote:
> I don't know if this is the right forum to discuss some of these things, but
> here it goes. My husband and i have been married for 7 years, we have 3
> wonderful kids and had decided long ago that we were going to raise our
> children now (and future children) in the unschooling lifestyle. In July my
> husband got a new job and we moved to Santa Fe. This morning he tells me #1
> he wants no more children and #2 they are going to school. I am in total
> shock. I don't know what to do here. I tried to reason with him, but his
> mind is made up. That's it. I will not be happy with 3 kids, and i believe
> my children deserve better then to be stuck in school. I am angry and hurt
> and just in total disbelief about what has transpired. He then gets on my
> case about the house being a mess, that i should be spending half my day
> cleaning the house and dinner should be cooking before he gets home. 7
> years, how i run things have never been a problem. Now he has this new job
> and everything has changed. What am i supposed to do here? It's only been 3
> hours and already the resent i feel is tangible. My husband is the love of
> my life, but how can i live a life of resentment towards someone i am
> supposed to share my life with? I am so lost. I feel so alone.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Karen made some great points here. We too are very stressed financially and my house is a mess because I feel paralized.
Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and I felt much better. It made me feel a little more in control of my life.
But because I am financially stressed out I have not been so patient with my kids.
A great place to ask for more great insight it this list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Peacefulpartnerships/
Its about applaying the same unschooling priciples towards our relashioships with our partners.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@ aol.com> wrote:
Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and I felt much better. It made me feel a little more in control of my life.
But because I am financially stressed out I have not been so patient with my kids.
A great place to ask for more great insight it this list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Peacefulpartnerships/
Its about applaying the same unschooling priciples towards our relashioships with our partners.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@ aol.com> wrote:
> I don't know if this is the right forum to discuss some of these things, but[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> here it goes. My husband and i have been married for 7 years, we have 3
> wonderful kids and had decided long ago that we were going to raise our
> children now (and future children) in the unschooling lifestyle. In July my
> husband got a new job and we moved to Santa Fe. This morning he tells me #1
> he wants no more children and #2 they are going to school. I am in total
> shock. I don't know what to do here. I tried to reason with him, but his
> mind is made up. That's it. I will not be happy with 3 kids, and i believe
> my children deserve better then to be stuck in school. I am angry and hurt
> and just in total disbelief about what has transpired. He then gets on my
> case about the house being a mess, that i should be spending half my day
> cleaning the house and dinner should be cooking before he gets home. 7
> years, how i run things have never been a problem. Now he has this new job
> and everything has changed. What am i supposed to do here? It's only been 3
> hours and already the resent i feel is tangible. My husband is the love of
> my life, but how can i live a life of resentment towards someone i am
> supposed to share my life with? I am so lost. I feel so alone.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
squishymommyof2
We have always been just naturally messy people, this is all out of the blue. We are thankfully not financially strained.
In a message dated 11/29/08 11:25:41 Mountain Standard Time, polykowholsteins@... writes:
Karen made some great points here. We too are very stressed financially and my house is a mess because I feel paralized.
Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and I felt much better. It made me feel a little more in control of my life.
But because I am financially stressed out I have not been so patient with my kids.
A great place to ask for more great insight it this list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Peacefulpartnerships/
Its about applaying the same unschooling priciples towards our relashioships with our partners.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@ aol.com> wrote:
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
In a message dated 11/29/08 11:25:41 Mountain Standard Time, polykowholsteins@... writes:
Karen made some great points here. We too are very stressed financially and my house is a mess because I feel paralized.
Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and I felt much better. It made me feel a little more in control of my life.
But because I am financially stressed out I have not been so patient with my kids.
A great place to ask for more great insight it this list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Peacefulpartnerships/
Its about applaying the same unschooling priciples towards our relashioships with our partners.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@ aol.com> wrote:
> I don't know if this is the right forum to discuss some of these things, but[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> here it goes. My husband and i have been married for 7 years, we have 3
> wonderful kids and had decided long ago that we were going to raise our
> children now (and future children) in the unschooling lifestyle. In July my
> husband got a new job and we moved to Santa Fe. This morning he tells me #1
> he wants no more children and #2 they are going to school. I am in total
> shock. I don't know what to do here. I tried to reason with him, but his
> mind is made up. That's it. I will not be happy with 3 kids, and i believe
> my children deserve better then to be stuck in school. I am angry and hurt
> and just in total disbelief about what has transpired. He then gets on my
> case about the house being a mess, that i should be spending half my day
> cleaning the house and dinner should be cooking before he gets home. 7
> years, how i run things have never been a problem. Now he has this new job
> and everything has changed. What am i supposed to do here? It's only been 3
> hours and already the resent i feel is tangible. My husband is the love of
> my life, but how can i live a life of resentment towards someone i am
> supposed to share my life with? I am so lost. I feel so alone.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Erin
Wow! First, I want to encourage you to breathe. I can imagine this
was a huge shock for you and it makes my heart ache for you!
Lets focus first on the "more children" issue. You have 3 amazing
children. That is an awesome thing and something that you need to
find comfort in. IF you are meant to have more children...you will.
IF you are meant to have 3 children...you will. Try to be grateful
for the children you do have and release any worry and grief you have
about not having more children. That is something that may change
and isn't something you can change by being worried or angry about
it. So, this one issue isn't something you need to focus on right
now.
I so agree that your best bet to keeping the kids at home is going to
be releasing the anger you're feeling and focusing on loving your
hubby right where he is at. Thankfully you probably have another
month to work on him in the "sending kids to school" department, so
try to keep calm.
Definitely clean your house. I know that can be overwhelming,
especially when you feel like you're the only one contributing to it,
but you can do it! Start with the kitchen, the area your husband
first enters the house at, and the master bedroom. Your kitchen can
probably be truly cleaned and organized in a weekend...this weekend!
You could devote 15 minutes every morning, afternoon, and evening to
cleaning the next room you're working on. See if your kids are
willing to help you. Turn on some positive and fun (energetic) music
and get to cleaning as often and as long as your schedule allows.
Come up with a list of things you're going to do daily (dishes,
unloading the dishwasher, 2 loads of laundry from start to finish,
cleaning the kitchen counters/stove, having kids put their things
back in their rooms at the end of the day, etc) and do them EVERY day.
Have dinner going by the time he gets home from work every day. It
sounds like that would make your hubby really feel appreciated...and
it's something you're probably doing every day anyway (just not at
the time he would like)! Doing these things will show him that you
truly desire to meet his needs and make him happy. When he sees you
putting effort towards meeting his needs he will be more likely to
put effort towards meeting your needs.
Good luck to you...I know this isn't an easy thing for you to do, but
you CAN do it!
was a huge shock for you and it makes my heart ache for you!
Lets focus first on the "more children" issue. You have 3 amazing
children. That is an awesome thing and something that you need to
find comfort in. IF you are meant to have more children...you will.
IF you are meant to have 3 children...you will. Try to be grateful
for the children you do have and release any worry and grief you have
about not having more children. That is something that may change
and isn't something you can change by being worried or angry about
it. So, this one issue isn't something you need to focus on right
now.
I so agree that your best bet to keeping the kids at home is going to
be releasing the anger you're feeling and focusing on loving your
hubby right where he is at. Thankfully you probably have another
month to work on him in the "sending kids to school" department, so
try to keep calm.
Definitely clean your house. I know that can be overwhelming,
especially when you feel like you're the only one contributing to it,
but you can do it! Start with the kitchen, the area your husband
first enters the house at, and the master bedroom. Your kitchen can
probably be truly cleaned and organized in a weekend...this weekend!
You could devote 15 minutes every morning, afternoon, and evening to
cleaning the next room you're working on. See if your kids are
willing to help you. Turn on some positive and fun (energetic) music
and get to cleaning as often and as long as your schedule allows.
Come up with a list of things you're going to do daily (dishes,
unloading the dishwasher, 2 loads of laundry from start to finish,
cleaning the kitchen counters/stove, having kids put their things
back in their rooms at the end of the day, etc) and do them EVERY day.
Have dinner going by the time he gets home from work every day. It
sounds like that would make your hubby really feel appreciated...and
it's something you're probably doing every day anyway (just not at
the time he would like)! Doing these things will show him that you
truly desire to meet his needs and make him happy. When he sees you
putting effort towards meeting his needs he will be more likely to
put effort towards meeting your needs.
Good luck to you...I know this isn't an easy thing for you to do, but
you CAN do it!
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
My husband used to be a messy bachelor but now when the mess is too much and he cannot find something he gets overwhelmed.
I am glad you are not finnancially strapped . Is his new job stressfulf? Is it high pressure?
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: squishymommyof2 <SquishyMommyof2@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 12:27:36 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
We have always been just naturally messy people, this is all out of the blue. We are thankfully not financially strained.
In a message dated 11/29/08 11:25:41 Mountain Standard Time, polykowholsteins@ yahoo.com writes:
Karen made some great points here. We too are very stressed financially and my house is a mess because I feel paralized.
Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and I felt much better. It made me feel a little more in control of my life.
But because I am financially stressed out I have not been so patient with my kids.
A great place to ask for more great insight it this list:
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Peacefulpa rtnerships/
Its about applaying the same unschooling priciples towards our relashioships with our partners.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow. blogspot. com/
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/unschoolin gmn/
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@ gmail.com>
To: unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@ aol.com> wrote:
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I am glad you are not finnancially strapped . Is his new job stressfulf? Is it high pressure?
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: squishymommyof2 <SquishyMommyof2@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 12:27:36 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
We have always been just naturally messy people, this is all out of the blue. We are thankfully not financially strained.
In a message dated 11/29/08 11:25:41 Mountain Standard Time, polykowholsteins@ yahoo.com writes:
Karen made some great points here. We too are very stressed financially and my house is a mess because I feel paralized.
Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and I felt much better. It made me feel a little more in control of my life.
But because I am financially stressed out I have not been so patient with my kids.
A great place to ask for more great insight it this list:
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Peacefulpa rtnerships/
Its about applaying the same unschooling priciples towards our relashioships with our partners.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow. blogspot. com/
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/unschoolin gmn/
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@ gmail.com>
To: unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@ aol.com> wrote:
> I don't know if this is the right forum to discuss some of these things, but[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> here it goes. My husband and i have been married for 7 years, we have 3
> wonderful kids and had decided long ago that we were going to raise our
> children now (and future children) in the unschooling lifestyle. In July my
> husband got a new job and we moved to Santa Fe. This morning he tells me #1
> he wants no more children and #2 they are going to school. I am in total
> shock. I don't know what to do here. I tried to reason with him, but his
> mind is made up. That's it. I will not be happy with 3 kids, and i believe
> my children deserve better then to be stuck in school. I am angry and hurt
> and just in total disbelief about what has transpired. He then gets on my
> case about the house being a mess, that i should be spending half my day
> cleaning the house and dinner should be cooking before he gets home. 7
> years, how i run things have never been a problem. Now he has this new job
> and everything has changed. What am i supposed to do here? It's only been 3
> hours and already the resent i feel is tangible. My husband is the love of
> my life, but how can i live a life of resentment towards someone i am
> supposed to share my life with? I am so lost. I feel so alone.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
squishymommyof2
Yes to both.
In a message dated 11/29/08 11:59:11 Mountain Standard Time, polykowholsteins@... writes:
My husband used to be a messy bachelor but now when the mess is too much and he cannot find something he gets overwhelmed.
I am glad you are not finnancially strapped . Is his new job stressfulf? Is it high pressure?
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: squishymommyof2 <SquishyMommyof2@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 12:27:36 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
We have always been just naturally messy people, this is all out of the blue. We are thankfully not financially strained.
In a message dated 11/29/08 11:25:41 Mountain Standard Time, polykowholsteins@ yahoo.com writes:
Karen made some great points here. We too are very stressed financially and my house is a mess because I feel paralized.
Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and I felt much better. It made me feel a little more in control of my life.
But because I am financially stressed out I have not been so patient with my kids.
A great place to ask for more great insight it this list:
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Peacefulpa rtnerships/
Its about applaying the same unschooling priciples towards our relashioships with our partners.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow. blogspot. com/
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/unschoolin gmn/
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@ gmail.com>
To: unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@ aol.com> wrote:
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
In a message dated 11/29/08 11:59:11 Mountain Standard Time, polykowholsteins@... writes:
My husband used to be a messy bachelor but now when the mess is too much and he cannot find something he gets overwhelmed.
I am glad you are not finnancially strapped . Is his new job stressfulf? Is it high pressure?
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
From: squishymommyof2 <SquishyMommyof2@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 12:27:36 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
We have always been just naturally messy people, this is all out of the blue. We are thankfully not financially strained.
In a message dated 11/29/08 11:25:41 Mountain Standard Time, polykowholsteins@ yahoo.com writes:
Karen made some great points here. We too are very stressed financially and my house is a mess because I feel paralized.
Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and I felt much better. It made me feel a little more in control of my life.
But because I am financially stressed out I have not been so patient with my kids.
A great place to ask for more great insight it this list:
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Peacefulpa rtnerships/
Its about applaying the same unschooling priciples towards our relashioships with our partners.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow. blogspot. com/
http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/unschoolin gmn/
____________ _________ _________ __
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@ gmail.com>
To: unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help
Well for one thing, cut the guy a little slack. If you stop looking
at how he's destroying your life, you might be able to see a man under
strain. Why isn't the house clean? Do you always live in a messy
house and this is a new thing for him? Could it be that his work is
making him feel like he's spinning out of control and the normal chaos
of your home is too much for him now?
I could go on and on here, but I'm assuming you love this man and want
him to be happy. If that is true then I'd try to meet his needs more
effectively and more preemptively. And see what happens. The first
thing I'd do is CLEAN UP THE HOUSE! That's easy enough to do. Then
I'd meet him with a smile and a kiss (remember the rule about our kids
is the same for our spouses...when they are least loveable is when
they need our love the most) and try to make the man happy. Your key
focus here should be to find out what's with the school thing and see
if there is a way to help him with whatever the real concern is. The
rest of it, (especially the more kids thing) is stupid to focus on.
People change their minds and unless he's scheduled a vasectomy there
is no reason to believe that this is a forever issue.
It sounds like he's worried about (money probably) in this economy and
at the holidays. If that's it, then back off. Don't spend more than
you can afford for the holiday and try to have some order in your
home. It might be a temporary freak out. But nurturing and
marinating in resentment isn't going to bring you closer at all.
I wish you the best with figuring this out.
Karen
"Confusing monogamy with morality has done more to destroy the
conscience of the human race than any other error." George Bernard
Shaw
On Sat, Nov 29, 2008 at 11:48 AM, squishymommyof2
<SquishyMommyof2@ aol.com> wrote:
> I don't know if this is the right forum to discuss some of these things, but[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> here it goes. My husband and i have been married for 7 years, we have 3
> wonderful kids and had decided long ago that we were going to raise our
> children now (and future children) in the unschooling lifestyle. In July my
> husband got a new job and we moved to Santa Fe. This morning he tells me #1
> he wants no more children and #2 they are going to school. I am in total
> shock. I don't know what to do here. I tried to reason with him, but his
> mind is made up. That's it. I will not be happy with 3 kids, and i believe
> my children deserve better then to be stuck in school. I am angry and hurt
> and just in total disbelief about what has transpired. He then gets on my
> case about the house being a mess, that i should be spending half my day
> cleaning the house and dinner should be cooking before he gets home. 7
> years, how i run things have never been a problem. Now he has this new job
> and everything has changed. What am i supposed to do here? It's only been 3
> hours and already the resent i feel is tangible. My husband is the love of
> my life, but how can i live a life of resentment towards someone i am
> supposed to share my life with? I am so lost. I feel so alone.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]