mscloudlady

One year ago my son was crying not to go to school. I was being told
it is you making this so hard -- even the local vet confirmed (she
knew cause all three of her boys had similar "issues") - so because I
would not rip my hand out of his and turn my back on him he was
biting his lips til they bled, messing his pants (never a problem
before), crying and just not there because I held onto him. I didn't
have a son - I had symptoms. He was fearful - professed how stupid
he was (he can't read and for the life of him when he was called in
class it took minutes before he sorted through "wow, that's me, ok
what did she say, and all the other thoughts" and by that time he was
wrong or stupid, which ever you like.

Skip forward to yesterday - one year later.


Mom's still mum and she is getting it wrong all the time... My son
is seven and was 3 months preemie - he has not spent a night away
from me until last night - 100 miles away - we have been through it.

For the last few months he has been asking to stay at my dad's house
for the weekend. After all of the good excuses ran out his choice is
to be there - and he is loving it. I have been plagued with worry,
fear and guilt about letting him down there. Really getting into my
head about MY history with MY dad and why I shouldn't trust him.
While I was in my shower talking about how I would post this concern
and what the responses would be and as I am addressing those thoughts
it happens.... the Epiphany strikes....I saw my son(no like really)(I
was saying it's about him but...) and now .... it is about him - he
is having his life on his terms - this is the time that I would
be "hurting him" by holding him. But he is telling me! Mom "I love
you" yes I want to be here until tomorrow don't forget my hug! and
he is fine. I have called two times so far today and sent him a
picture message - and he has my cell phone and my digital camera and
I am glad to let him borrow them...

How can the "professionals" be so wrong moreover how can billions be
so blind?

My son! is strong, independent, a thinker, intelligent, confident.
He is NOT a symptom.

Progress - without a doubt!

Eli