Girl Scouts Experience
jannabethryan
Wondering what other people's experience is with the Girl Scouts. We
tried it out with our daughter the other day. She attended an all
day event. I stayed for the entire thing...It felt like school! She
kept wandering off when she felt like it and the "troop leader" had
to keep calling her back. Then at one point, she got angry about my
not having brought her sleeping bag (she thought that the older
girls were going to camp out - they weren't) and she walked away
angry. My husband was there too and the head of the whole thing said
that we couldn't let her walk away from the group because people
participating cannot be alone and that she was going to talk to her
(if that was okay with us). Myself and my husband (even though we
hadn't talked about it) had in our minds that we were going to let
her have her feelings (away from the group, physically she had moved
away but was close enough for us to see/watch her - I felt
comfortable with being able to see her). I knew she would
eventually come back once she had her feelings about it. Plus, my
experience has been when she is angry that she needs that space to
feel it and then I am able to talk with her. Anyway, the head of
the thing (who obviously was very uncomfortable with our daughter
and her expression of her feelings and basically her whole "way" of
being - asked me to accompany her while she talked to our daughter.
She proceeded to tell her the "rules" that no girl participating
could be alone at any time during the event and that she (our
daughter) needed to come and join the group. Our daughter tried to
say how she felt and the woman just shut her down and when my
daughter turned away from her and started getting angrier, the woman
demanded that she look at her "you will look at me," etc. It was a
terrible display of verbal/emotional abuse and I let it happen~ I
have a whole set of guilt about that. I know I failed my daughter
completely in this situation. She and I have talked about it and
had a good cry about it. She said she forgave me and I thank god
that she has such a tremendous amount of forgiveness, brilliance,
love, acceptance. All my intention was for her going in the first
place was for her to make some friends. She has no girl friends
here and craves the connection with other girls. This is a
situation that has happened in other places with my daughter - other
adults verbally and emotionally targeting her for her just "being" -
at church (unitarian), and just in general - one guy my daughter
scowled at told my husband that he should beat her ("she needs to
learn manners") - of course, when she scowls at him it's for a
reason, the guy is angry, mean, and has been sarcastic and mean with
her before and she doesn't like him. I realize, when I really think
about it, my daughters feelings, reactions mostly seem to be
grounded in something. That sounds like a basic thing, but
Sometimes I can't always see the "something" or even it's validity
(from my perspective) but it's hers and i have to honor her
feelings. Personally, I admit I am a control freak and it's been a
challenge to push that away and let her "be." It is also especially
hard in this society where people see you "unschooling" and they get
very angry at the way you are "letting" your child have his/her
feelings.
Thanks,
Janna
tried it out with our daughter the other day. She attended an all
day event. I stayed for the entire thing...It felt like school! She
kept wandering off when she felt like it and the "troop leader" had
to keep calling her back. Then at one point, she got angry about my
not having brought her sleeping bag (she thought that the older
girls were going to camp out - they weren't) and she walked away
angry. My husband was there too and the head of the whole thing said
that we couldn't let her walk away from the group because people
participating cannot be alone and that she was going to talk to her
(if that was okay with us). Myself and my husband (even though we
hadn't talked about it) had in our minds that we were going to let
her have her feelings (away from the group, physically she had moved
away but was close enough for us to see/watch her - I felt
comfortable with being able to see her). I knew she would
eventually come back once she had her feelings about it. Plus, my
experience has been when she is angry that she needs that space to
feel it and then I am able to talk with her. Anyway, the head of
the thing (who obviously was very uncomfortable with our daughter
and her expression of her feelings and basically her whole "way" of
being - asked me to accompany her while she talked to our daughter.
She proceeded to tell her the "rules" that no girl participating
could be alone at any time during the event and that she (our
daughter) needed to come and join the group. Our daughter tried to
say how she felt and the woman just shut her down and when my
daughter turned away from her and started getting angrier, the woman
demanded that she look at her "you will look at me," etc. It was a
terrible display of verbal/emotional abuse and I let it happen~ I
have a whole set of guilt about that. I know I failed my daughter
completely in this situation. She and I have talked about it and
had a good cry about it. She said she forgave me and I thank god
that she has such a tremendous amount of forgiveness, brilliance,
love, acceptance. All my intention was for her going in the first
place was for her to make some friends. She has no girl friends
here and craves the connection with other girls. This is a
situation that has happened in other places with my daughter - other
adults verbally and emotionally targeting her for her just "being" -
at church (unitarian), and just in general - one guy my daughter
scowled at told my husband that he should beat her ("she needs to
learn manners") - of course, when she scowls at him it's for a
reason, the guy is angry, mean, and has been sarcastic and mean with
her before and she doesn't like him. I realize, when I really think
about it, my daughters feelings, reactions mostly seem to be
grounded in something. That sounds like a basic thing, but
Sometimes I can't always see the "something" or even it's validity
(from my perspective) but it's hers and i have to honor her
feelings. Personally, I admit I am a control freak and it's been a
challenge to push that away and let her "be." It is also especially
hard in this society where people see you "unschooling" and they get
very angry at the way you are "letting" your child have his/her
feelings.
Thanks,
Janna
Melissa
We have a great group...I love both the girls and the leader.
I do know that scouting (both boys and girls) do have a policy of no
one being alone (and there must always be two adults when any scout
is present) to decrease the chances of any abuse happening, but it
doesn't seem like your daughter was alone, it sounds more like the
leader was doing a control routine. I would suggest that you look
around at different groups in your area, I know that we drive to the
next town over because we didn't like any of the four groups in our
town. This group is all homeschoolers, and the leader is an attached
parent, so even if they use a curriculum, she's very open to
unschooling, doesn't have to prove a point about learning or
behavior, etc.
Not only looking for a different group, but I am curious. What was
the all-day thing? I don't know that we would jump into something
that big at first, just because it can be overwhelming, we always
start with small meetings in the individual groups, and we've often
skipped council events or one in which several groups are meeting
because there is always a goal (earning badges, doing a service
project) that might not be interesting to my girls and don't allow
for individuality as much because the adults don't know them, don't
understand them, are goal oriented and overwhelmed with too many kids
at once.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (12), Breanna (10), Emily (8), Rachel (7), Sam (6), Dan
(4), and Avari Rose (19 months)
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
I do know that scouting (both boys and girls) do have a policy of no
one being alone (and there must always be two adults when any scout
is present) to decrease the chances of any abuse happening, but it
doesn't seem like your daughter was alone, it sounds more like the
leader was doing a control routine. I would suggest that you look
around at different groups in your area, I know that we drive to the
next town over because we didn't like any of the four groups in our
town. This group is all homeschoolers, and the leader is an attached
parent, so even if they use a curriculum, she's very open to
unschooling, doesn't have to prove a point about learning or
behavior, etc.
Not only looking for a different group, but I am curious. What was
the all-day thing? I don't know that we would jump into something
that big at first, just because it can be overwhelming, we always
start with small meetings in the individual groups, and we've often
skipped council events or one in which several groups are meeting
because there is always a goal (earning badges, doing a service
project) that might not be interesting to my girls and don't allow
for individuality as much because the adults don't know them, don't
understand them, are goal oriented and overwhelmed with too many kids
at once.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (12), Breanna (10), Emily (8), Rachel (7), Sam (6), Dan
(4), and Avari Rose (19 months)
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Nov 19, 2007, at 3:02 AM, jannabethryan wrote:
> Wondering what other people's experience is with the Girl Scouts. We
> tried it out with our daughter the other day.
> That sounds like a basic thing, but
> Sometimes I can't always see the "something" or even it's validity
> (from my perspective) but it's hers and i have to honor her
> feelings. Personally, I admit I am a control freak and it's been a
> challenge to push that away and let her "be." It is also especially
> hard in this society where people see you "unschooling" and they get
> very angry at the way you are "letting" your child have his/her
> feelings.
>
> Thanks,
> Janna
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
onthelongroad
I'm new to homeschooling, but I've been a Girl Scout leader for 5 years.
My troop includes my daughter and 5 other girls who are all in 6th
grade. This year I also took on the Service Unit Manager position.
I love what we can accomplish with Girl Scouts. While it is true that
the girls enjoy doing fun activities together, it isn't the primary
reason that I encouraged my daughter to join a troop. I value the
opportunity that we have to help make the world a better place through
service activities. The girls in my troop are learning to be leaders
who truly believe that they can change the world.
Have you thought about becoming a Girl Scout leader yourself? Your
local Girl Scout Council will provide all the training and resources
that you need. Then, you can encourage your daughter and fellow troop
members to select the activities that appeal to them. Some troops
prefer outdoor activities to crafts, etc. Within reasonable safety
guidelines, your girls can make the troop be whatever they want it to
be.
Girl Scouts encourages girls to be leaders who choose how they want to
run their troop and what it is they want to do. Obviously, parent
leaders don't always feel comfortable handing the reins over to the
girls. When my troop consisted of 14 six-year-olds, I have to admit it
was very difficult to take a back seat. However, the girls have to be
given the opportunity to succeed and fail in order to learn how to lead.
I sometimes blog about our girl scout experience, and am planning to
write quite a bit about the exciting new direction that the national
Girl Scout Council is planning for 2008. Please visit Living By
Learning at http://www.onlivingbylearning.blogspot.com
<http://www.onlivingbylearning.blogspot.com> .
Hope you give Girl Scouts another chance, Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My troop includes my daughter and 5 other girls who are all in 6th
grade. This year I also took on the Service Unit Manager position.
I love what we can accomplish with Girl Scouts. While it is true that
the girls enjoy doing fun activities together, it isn't the primary
reason that I encouraged my daughter to join a troop. I value the
opportunity that we have to help make the world a better place through
service activities. The girls in my troop are learning to be leaders
who truly believe that they can change the world.
Have you thought about becoming a Girl Scout leader yourself? Your
local Girl Scout Council will provide all the training and resources
that you need. Then, you can encourage your daughter and fellow troop
members to select the activities that appeal to them. Some troops
prefer outdoor activities to crafts, etc. Within reasonable safety
guidelines, your girls can make the troop be whatever they want it to
be.
Girl Scouts encourages girls to be leaders who choose how they want to
run their troop and what it is they want to do. Obviously, parent
leaders don't always feel comfortable handing the reins over to the
girls. When my troop consisted of 14 six-year-olds, I have to admit it
was very difficult to take a back seat. However, the girls have to be
given the opportunity to succeed and fail in order to learn how to lead.
I sometimes blog about our girl scout experience, and am planning to
write quite a bit about the exciting new direction that the national
Girl Scout Council is planning for 2008. Please visit Living By
Learning at http://www.onlivingbylearning.blogspot.com
<http://www.onlivingbylearning.blogspot.com> .
Hope you give Girl Scouts another chance, Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Janna Beth Ryan
Melissa, thanks. Before we joined I didn't know about the policy about scouts not being alone, but the leader did mention this when she went over to "talk" to my daughter. I forgot that we have choices about the group we can go to. I will definitely take your advice and explore other groups and I think you are right, perhaps it was too much in one day for my daughter (it was actually a camping skills day and she earned a badge), since she is rarely in a group environment. It's an adjustment. Yes, i didn't really know that all of the different (levels) of scouts would be attending and i'm certain my daughter wasn't thrilled - it was just too much. Not to mention all of the activities one after the other. Many of the things didn't interest her. One good thing, the daisy troop leader (not the lady I was referring to earlier) told me that there are some homeschoolers out here - which i would have never known since i haven't crossed paths with any here yet. So, that info was
helpful.
Thanks for sharing your experience and advice. I appreciate it so much.
Janna
Re: Girl Scouts Experience Posted by: "Melissa" autismhelp@... multimomma Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:59 am (PST) We have a great group...I love both the girls and the leader.
I do know that scouting (both boys and girls) do have a policy of no
one being alone (and there must always be two adults when any scout
is present) to decrease the chances of any abuse happening, but it
doesn't seem like your daughter was alone, it sounds more like the
leader was doing a control routine. I would suggest that you look
around at different groups in your area, I know that we drive to the
next town over because we didn't like any of the four groups in our
town. This group is all homeschoolers, and the leader is an attached
parent, so even if they use a curriculum, she's very open to
unschooling, doesn't have to prove a point about learning or
behavior, etc.
Not only looking for a different group, but I am curious. What was
the all-day thing? I don't know that we would jump into something
that big at first, just because it can be overwhelming, we always
start with small meetings in the individual groups, and we've often
skipped council events or one in which several groups are meeting
because there is always a goal (earning badges, doing a service
project) that might not be interesting to my girls and don't allow
for individuality as much because the adults don't know them, don't
understand them, are goal oriented and overwhelmed with too many kids
at once.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (12), Breanna (10), Emily (8), Rachel (7), Sam (6), Dan
(4), and Avari Rose (19 months)
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo com/multimomma
helpful.
Thanks for sharing your experience and advice. I appreciate it so much.
Janna
Re: Girl Scouts Experience Posted by: "Melissa" autismhelp@... multimomma Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:59 am (PST) We have a great group...I love both the girls and the leader.
I do know that scouting (both boys and girls) do have a policy of no
one being alone (and there must always be two adults when any scout
is present) to decrease the chances of any abuse happening, but it
doesn't seem like your daughter was alone, it sounds more like the
leader was doing a control routine. I would suggest that you look
around at different groups in your area, I know that we drive to the
next town over because we didn't like any of the four groups in our
town. This group is all homeschoolers, and the leader is an attached
parent, so even if they use a curriculum, she's very open to
unschooling, doesn't have to prove a point about learning or
behavior, etc.
Not only looking for a different group, but I am curious. What was
the all-day thing? I don't know that we would jump into something
that big at first, just because it can be overwhelming, we always
start with small meetings in the individual groups, and we've often
skipped council events or one in which several groups are meeting
because there is always a goal (earning badges, doing a service
project) that might not be interesting to my girls and don't allow
for individuality as much because the adults don't know them, don't
understand them, are goal oriented and overwhelmed with too many kids
at once.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (12), Breanna (10), Emily (8), Rachel (7), Sam (6), Dan
(4), and Avari Rose (19 months)
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo com/multimomma
On Nov 19, 2007, at 3:02 AM, jannabethryan wrote:
> Wondering what other people's experience is with the Girl Scouts. We
> tried it out with our daughter the other day.
> That sounds like a basic thing, but
> Sometimes I can't always see the "something" or even it's validity
> (from my perspective) but it's hers and i have to honor her
> feelings. Personally, I admit I am a control freak and it's been a
> challenge to push that away and let her "be." It is also especially
> hard in this society where people see you "unschooling" and they get
> very angry at the way you are "letting" your child have his/her
> feelings.
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
I'll bet it was really disappointing for her to find out that they
weren't sleeping over either. That would have pushed me over the
edge...I do NOT like changes in my plans. :-)
Good luck finding another group.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (12), Breanna (10), Emily (8), Rachel (7), Sam (6), Dan
(4), and Avari Rose (19 months)
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
weren't sleeping over either. That would have pushed me over the
edge...I do NOT like changes in my plans. :-)
Good luck finding another group.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (12), Breanna (10), Emily (8), Rachel (7), Sam (6), Dan
(4), and Avari Rose (19 months)
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Nov 19, 2007, at 10:31 PM, Janna Beth Ryan wrote:
>
> helpful.
> Thanks for sharing your experience and advice. I appreciate it so
> much.
> Janna
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]