[email protected]

In a message dated 11/13/2007 9:29:42 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

There
is a difference between a need and a want or desire. The dd needed to
nurse, but wanted to nurse under the kitchen table. <<<<<<<<<<

I think for an onlooker it is sometimes easy to look in on a situation and
say X is a want but Y is a need. But maybe for the daughter nursing was a
want and being under the table was a need (at that point in time). Personally I
try to leave it up to my children to decide those things for themselves. To
me they are all important.



Pam G

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sylvia Toyama

There is a difference between a need and a want or desire. The dd needed to
nurse, but wanted to nurse under the kitchen table. <<<<<<<<<<

****
Even if there is a difference, what does that matter? I want to find a way to fulfill my kids' wants, as well as their needs.

Sylvia



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

~~I try to leave it up to my children to decide those things for
themselves. To me they are all important.~~

I agree.
I sure wouldn't want someone else deciding the difference between my
needs and wants.

Jalen does some things that may seem bizarre to other people at times.
Or make a big deal out of seemingly minor issues. But with his
particular personality and sensitivities, it IS a true need at the
moment. If I decided that his "whims" are just a want and not
important, I can't imagine what that would do to his sense of self and
his ability to develop in his own time.

I use him as an example because sometimes he might be holding up an
entire vehicle of kids that want to leave the park, in order to swing
a little bit longer. But in that moment, it is a NEED for him. He
physically needs those kind of motions to help him cope with life. My
children are very understanding and willing to give so that he can
transition in his own time.

If I undermined that need, and didn't fulfill it, where would he be
today? I shudder to think. Life seems to be more challenging for him
in many ways, I like to smooth out the edges as much as possible.

I trust him to let me know his needs and wants. I'm not going to
decide for him that one is less than another (true of all my children).

Ren
learninginfreedom.com