Karen Swanay

Let's see if I can distill this to one question and get the answer and
perhaps then I'll understand.
Let's take my 9 yr old who still really only wants to eat like a toddler.
Mac and Cheese, Pizza, chicken patties. That's about it. Now, when I make
dinner he often does not eat. If he doesn't want to eat what I've made
(usually because it has vegetables in it) I give him the option of eating
yogurt with or without granola on it. Or he may choose not to eat at all.
He is frequently very unhappy about this. His preference would be for me to
make him one of the three foods he wants all the time and not bother him
with other foods.

OK, now I *know* that for some kids left on their own they will eventually
come to a place where they will eat better for a myriad of reasons. However
I also know because I struggle with it with my husband that some never do.
My husband was NEVER made to eat anything he didn't want. Never asked to
try anything. He was catered to re: food. Now he's lucky enough to be tall
and skinny so it hasn't been an issue. But his diet is terrible. Try as I
might he will only eat what he eats. I do not want that for my son. I want
him to have more than 3 things he will eat.

So what I *think* I'm reading here is that I give the boy freedom to eat
only what makes him happy and he will eventually come around. Is that
correct or incorrect?

Thanks,
Karen
PS) I really am reading and trying to get it.



--
"Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about."

LOI 1/26/07
PA 3/22/07
DTC 8/10/07
Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ginger Sabo

Karen,

My ds is only 6, but he has issues with food. Mostly with smell and texture. It can smell great to him, but he gags on it because the texture is not right. I can be asked to eat somewhere else, if I have something he doesn't like the smell of (like oatmeal), and if I don't move, he will gag on his food - even when it is something he loves. He eats: bagel and cream cheese, popped corn with butter and nutritional yeast, candy, ice cream and will drink milk, orange juice and sometimes water (but only out of a bottle or with a straw. No veggies (except an occasional corn on the cob), no fruit (except an occasional fresh raspberry if they are really, really fresh). These issues have only been around since he was about 4. I have long since stopped buying anything from the store for just him - unless he asks for it directly - except for those things listed above.

We had stopped trying to get him interested in food other than those listed above. Since we stopped asking if he'd like to eat with us (even though we had not expected him to say yes) he has tried 3 things this week alone. He didn't like one. He ate all of another, but hasn't asked for it again, and has added the third to his list. I see this as a minor miracle. I don't expect him to change his diet over night, nor do I worry about him. He's still growing, he has a ton of energy and his brain is still faster and better than mine and he is learning like crazy.

I trust him to know when his body needs something and then jump on anything that he says he wishes. I have been known to go to the store to buy something at the time he asks for it (I have to do this for the older one, too). My older son eats a very balanced diet, but didn't pre-4 years old. Go figure!

I have been known to make up to 3 things for the littlest one because once he got it, it didn't seem right to him. He finally decides he needs to wait for food or he finds something he will eat. I used to get distressed about the cost, but don't anymore. I used to get distressed about the hassle, but don't anymore. I'm trusting him to let me know his needs and I do my best to fulfill them. Sometimes it takes a while to understand those needs. I trust him to figure it out...and I try to provide what I can to get him there through providing a safe environment and a load of options he could choose from.

Hope this helps.



In Peace,
Ginger
Kai(8) and Kade(6)

LOVE has impact.

"It's not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences." - Audre Lorde



----- Original Message ----
From: Karen Swanay <luvbullbreeds@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, October 2, 2007 2:46:38 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] OK proper question based on real life

Let's see if I can distill this to one question and get the answer and
perhaps then I'll understand.
Let's take my 9 yr old who still really only wants to eat like a toddler.
Mac and Cheese, Pizza, chicken patties. That's about it. Now, when I make
dinner he often does not eat. If he doesn't want to eat what I've made
(usually because it has vegetables in it) I give him the option of eating
yogurt with or without granola on it. Or he may choose not to eat at all.
He is frequently very unhappy about this. His preference would be for me to
make him one of the three foods he wants all the time and not bother him
with other foods.

OK, now I *know* that for some kids left on their own they will eventually
come to a place where they will eat better for a myriad of reasons. However
I also know because I struggle with it with my husband that some never do.
My husband was NEVER made to eat anything he didn't want. Never asked to
try anything. He was catered to re: food. Now he's lucky enough to be tall
and skinny so it hasn't been an issue. But his diet is terrible. Try as I
might he will only eat what he eats. I do not want that for my son. I want
him to have more than 3 things he will eat.

So what I *think* I'm reading here is that I give the boy freedom to eat
only what makes him happy and he will eventually come around. Is that
correct or incorrect?

Thanks,
Karen
PS) I really am reading and trying to get it.

--
"Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about."

LOI 1/26/07
PA 3/22/07
DTC 8/10/07
Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Wildflower Car

I would teach a child of that age to make his own favorites. He might enjoy it much like mine did!

Wildflower


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