Sylvia Toyama

As for staying the weekends at our house, I thought that was a form of control. If I was in *their* house they knew what I was doing and even if it meant having my bf there to accomplish keeping me in, it was worth it. However that doesn't explain them letting me go on vacation with his family. I still trying to figure that one out...maybe they trusted me more than I give them credit for.

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I don't think of this kind of thing as being about control, as much as protection. Parents know kids are going to try/do some things, with or without permission, so providing them a safe place to do it is a better choice. I went to high school in the '70's and virtually all of our parties included alcohol bought and served by parents, with full knowledge by all the parents of the guests, too. Drivers surrenderred keys at the door, with two designated sober people -- usually a parent and an older sibling -- to assess whether or not someone could drive home. We often slept over in groups.

Then came the 80's & 90's and it became unacceptable to admit you let your child drink. Oh, the scandal of it all! <g> That just sent kids underground. Then again, even in the '70's there were outdoor parties on the open mesa here -- to avoid parent involvement, so maybe not all parents were as 'permissive' as those in my high-school crowd.

Sylvia




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Susan

To me it makes so much more sense to let the teenagers drink (if
that's what they want to do) where willing & responsible adults are in
case anything happens. Much safer than drinking & driving or making
your teen feel like need to sneak around and potentially get themself
into a bad situation.

> Then came the 80's & 90's and it became unacceptable to admit you let your child drink. Oh, the scandal of it all! <g> That just sent kids underground.

And it continues. Last year at a parent's meeting DH & I casually
mentioned that when our kids are older if they want to drink alcohol
in the privacy of our own home, we'd be open to it. One couple just
flipped out over that. They pointed out all the laws we'd be breaking
and how, as the adults, we'd be held accountable. They said that if
they knew of parents who were letting teenagers have alcohol they'd
turn them in pronto.

Okay... so much for that idea.

-- Susan